French custom & ordering pizza for a nursing staff

[Wayne77]

Odd thread title I know.

The gist of this is I’m in a hospital in Albertville, France recovering from some injuries. I don’t know the language but make a point of nicely saying “Merci” anytime a nurse or nurse assistant comes into my room for whatever reason. There are a few who smile and seem happy enough but there are several who just give me the cold stare. So I’m trying to figure out if I’m doing something rude that I may not be aware of. It’s probably a tough question to answer. Are there any particular things when someone walks into a room that are major faux-pas? I’ve been reading my Kindle a lot and due to my condition I can’t really stand when someone walks in so I usually glance up, say “Bonjour” in the morning but keep the kindle in my hands. Maybe that’s rude...like I should put the device down until they exit. They keep asking me questions about this or that needed and I usually say yes or no once I figure out what they are asking...things like ‘do you need a new towel’, etc. The problem is I answer and sometimes they do the exact opposite. Is there a different way of nodding? Like if I shake my head up and down does that actually mean “no”?

My other question: I can tell the staff on the floor are working long hours...so I was actually thinking of using Uber Eats to order enough pizza for everyone at lunch time. There’s an Italian restaurant nearby. Can a delivery person even deliver to a hospital? Can a nursing staff accept a food delivery on their behalf? Will the hospital food people be mad that I procured food circumventing what the nurses might normally get from them?

...I so don’t want to be that ‘ignorant foreigner’ they have to tolerate.

[Gothard]

Generally staff in french hospitals are overworked and underpaid.
There is not much you can do that would annoy/insult them, short of disrobing in their presence.
Try and find one person who speaks a bit of english and tell him/her that you would like to order pizza for them one day.
Chocolates will always be accepted, but don't buy the silly stuff at the hospital store, they have seen/eaten it forever and are fed up with it.
Or get someone to buy a few good bottles of wine, they will be appreciated at their next gathering.

Not one person would be mad at a foreigner making the effort to speak a few words in their language. I would drop the kindle while they are there around you.

[Peter B]

<snip>

Not one person would be mad at a foreigner making the effort to speak a few words in their language. I would drop the kindle while they are there around you.

Try using the kindle or a translator on your phone to come up with some ideas for creative small talk. My meager linguistic efforts have always been met with appreciation and reciprocity.

[Louis]

Or maybe if the pizza thing just doesn't work out, a "Merci" card and a bouquet of flowers?

https://www.google.com/search?ei=ZERBXdrxL4Xg-gTFko2wAQ&q=fleuriste+albertville+france&oq=fleuriste+albertville+france&gs_l=psy-ab.3..33i299.11100.16653..17018...0.0..0.291.2671. 0j12j2......0....2j1..gws-wiz.......0i71j0j0i22i30j0i13j0i13i30j0i19j0i22i30 i19j33i160.Z9rS-aqTwqc&ved=0ahUKEwjas-uu0t7jAhUFsJ4KHUVJAxYQ4dUDCAo&uact=5

[572cv]

Gothard's thoughts seem apt. Politeness is part of the culture, for sure, and having a sense of how to apply it is important. Your idea of a present for everyone would be a nice surprise. The question is, how to apply... pizza, chocolate, vin, what? I too would try to find someone to be an ally to help with that decision, which has the added advantage of occupying time. A phrase which helps: Excusez moi de vous deranger, mais j'ai une probleme. Pardon me for bothering you, but I have a problem. Then describe the problem as best you can. Mostly, people will want to help.

A cultural understanding of France in a book you might well find on Kindle: The Bonjour Effect, by Barlow and Nadeau. Very useful.

Sorry to read of your injury. My wife fell and fractured her pelvis but came completely through it in about a year, partially in less than that. It will heal!

[AngryScientist]

Try using the kindle or a translator on your phone to come up with some ideas for creative small talk. My meager linguistic efforts have always been met with appreciation and reciprocity.

agree! whenever i have traveled in europe or south america, the locals have always been gracious and appreciative when i've made an honest attempt to bumble a few sentences of the native language. even a sentence or two may get the staff to crack a smile, and that's a start.

hang in there wayne!

[merckx]

When I saw French custom I thought, Alex Singer.

Hope you recover well, and are turning the pedals soon.

[nooneline]

Generally, French people like a bit of decorum - you're right to greet nurses with Bonjour every time they enter the room; "au revoir, merci" when they leave would be appropriate. That and 572cv's suggestion. Also appropriate would be, "I'm sorry, my French is bad, do you speak english?" A request to shift languages is polite, and couching interactions in somewhat formal-feeling pleasantries, whereas just changing languages or getting right to business tends not to be perceived as rude or abrupt.

As for lunch - ask! Google translate can help. here's (https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=fr&text=excuse%20me%20ma'am%2C%20may%20i%20ask%20you% 20a%20question%3F) "excuse me, may i ask you a question?" they even have pronunciation audio, although you could also just show the translation to somebody. "I have a question but I'm afraid I won't understand your answer. Is there a someone who speaks english (https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=fr&text=I%20have%20a%20question%20but%20I'm%20afraid% 20I%20won't%20understand%20your%20answer.%20Is%20t here%20a%20someone%20who%20speaks%20english%3F)?" and "I would like to show my gratitude. Would the nurses appreciate if I had lunch delivered? (https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=fr&text=I%20would%20like%20to%20show%20my%20gratitude .%20Would%20the%20nurses%20appreciate%20if%20I%20h ad%20lunch%20delivered%3F)"

It definitely feels strange and isolating to struggle to communicate. That on top of being laid up with an injury is a handful!

There's a great podcast series called Coffee Break French. They're 20-minute episodes following a teacher and a learner, and they leave room for you to practice. Sounds like you've got some time, so maybe you can give a few a listen and practice some of the basics with the people tending to you. "i am trying to learn french. do you think i will learn french before i heal?" (https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=fr&text=i%20am%20trying%20to%20learn%20french.%20do%2 0you%20think%20i%20will%20learn%20french%20before% 20i%20heal%3F) might elicit a smile.

[Wayne77]

As usual, the insight and advice provided here is overflowing. Extremely helpful!

[Oo0cH]

Don't know how the french culture differs from the german, but over here (Austria to be more specific) it's usually a big no-no to order pizza for the nursing staff. Personnel is to decline any gift over 5€ worth (As was in my contract at the time), accepting food is also frowned upon (in order to avoid "Corruption"). It might sound silly but sending a thank you card afterwards is always very well appreciated.

[deechee]

Since you're posting I assume you have your phone and internet? Download google translate, it can translate as you speak. (Written and voice)

Good luck and I hope you get better. I don't think you're doing anything wrong - they're probably just as confused with you. Seriously - use the app.

[FlashUNC]

Don't show them your donger outside of a medical necessity.

I'd say make an effort and generally folks will cut you some slack.

FWIW the French in the North were incredibly kind and patient with my 10 word French vocabulary, but I'd imagine in a hospital you've got a lot of folks working long hours in a stressful gig. So I wouldn't take it too personal.

[macaroon]

Reminded me of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs0D4-pVQdQ

[makoti]

Or maybe if the pizza thing just doesn't work out, a "Merci" card and a bouquet of flowers?

Flowers in most hospitals are a no-no. Allergies.
Food to be shared is the best bet.

[benb]

You're hurt bad enough to be in-patient for multiple days, I wouldn't worry about it.

You're probably acting like a saint compared to some of their patients.

My French vocabulary is probably no more than 10 words too and I felt pretty welcomed there, I was making sure to say Bonjour and Merci and all that.

Germany on the other hand... I found them a lot more intimidating to talk to.

[velotel]

If you're going to be there for at least a few more days, I'll come up and say hi and ask the staff whatever you want to know. Bit hectic around the house lately but I'd love to break free Friday or Saturday, run up there, stop in, then bag a ride afterwards. My experience with french nurses has been nothing but positive. What's your name? Cheers

[MattTuck]

Yes, not sure what technology you have with you, but some of the translation technology is amazing.

Even pre-composing a message and letting them read it, might get you some good will.

"My name is Wayne, I came to France to see le tour and cycle some of the mountains. I was not expecting to wind up here, and I don't speak your language, but I am thankful everyday for the care that you provide. And I really appreciate your help while I spend time in your home country, while I am away from my own. What is your name? What part of France are you from?"

Punch that into a translator, and you atleast have a start for some shared understanding.

[GonaSovereign]

Hope you heal up quickly. I'm also glad you're not a French citizen in a US hospital racking up a giant bill!

Your efforts to be polite will suffice. You can add a monsieur or madame to the bonjour if you're seeing someone for the first time. Unless they're younger than you; if so stick to bonjour.

Saying goodbye is bonne journee. (Slightly different from bonjour.)

If it's someone you see regularly, you can say Je vous souhaite une excellente journée or shorten to excellente journée which basically means "have a great day."

Merci beaucoup is "thank you very much"

If you want to get in over your head, you can ask them what they thought of Bernal winning, and Pinot's chances for next year: Que pensez-vous du vainqueur du Tour de france? Peut-être Pinot l'année prochaine?

[tony_mm]

Be polite and kind is always good, in all countries.

FYI French don’t expect foreigner to speak French fluently as they know that the French language is pretty difficult. They all do however like foreigner who make efforts to speak a few words.

And don’t forget to be positive and to smile.
Many patients are grumpy so that the staff will be happy to visit you.

[Dekonick]

Generally staff in french hospitals are overworked and underpaid.
There is not much you can do that would annoy/insult them, short of disrobing in their presence.
Try and find one person who speaks a bit of english and tell him/her that you would like to order pizza for them one day.
Chocolates will always be accepted, but don't buy the silly stuff at the hospital store, they have seen/eaten it forever and are fed up with it.
Or get someone to buy a few good bottles of wine, they will be appreciated at their next gathering.

Not one person would be mad at a foreigner making the effort to speak a few words in their language. I would drop the kindle while they are there around you.

^^^ nailed it ^^^ Buy chocolates for the staff - mind you there are shifts... Wine as gifts should be fine in France. Instead of pizza, chocolates, wine, good pastries from a local shop (their version of doughnuts), and a card written in french thanking them.
Thumbs up for thinking about over worked and underpaid healthcare staff!

[Dino Suegiù]

In Europe, deference to professionals is still more expected (correctly) than it may be in the (more casual) USA. Appreciation is of course valued, but "familiarity" is still different. It could easily be seen as very rude to keep the Kindle in hand while interacting. I think flowers from patient to staff (not family) would be considered a bit odd.

Likewise, open, prepared food is I am sure a hospital no-no: the source is not secure, and it is as if one is saying, “Hey, I’m a nice person who bought you this gift; now drop everything and eat it before it gets cold, since it just arrived.” (I know not your intent but the timing could be inconvenient.)

Putting away the distraction devices, listening attentively, being respectful, not over-doing the conversation, smiling when appropriate, all those go a long way. Excessive gifting may come across as patronizing. A card would certainly be fine, and as others already wrote, as a gift at most something secure and sealed such as wine, cheese, chocolate, etc.

Mainly, they probably just want you to heal up and get the hell out of there! :)