The Secret Life of Paceline Members (with apologies to James Thurber...)

[XXtwindad]

It was a languorous late Fall afternoon. The heat, combined with the recent fires, seemed to have sucked all the energy out of the room.

I had inherited a buddy's group ex class. I was explaining the intricacies of a plank. My words wafted aimlessly over the room. The students seemed nonplussed. At best.

"Focus on your pelvic girdle. Use your abs and ass. Take the pressure off your shoulders. Take the pressure off ....

"Take a little pressure off, kid."

The voice was different now. Leavened with age and experience. I looked up. Sitting right next to me, on a barstool, was Joseph Mitchell. The literary lion of the New Yorker. The craggy oracle of the "man on the street."

The air was redolent of sawdust, cigarette smoke, stale beer, and raw onions. I was in McSorleys Old Ale House. On a bar stool. Talking with one of my idols.

"Go ahead and have a drink. It's good for the nerves." He slid a shot glass toward me.

I sniffed it. It smelled putrid. I wanted to tell him that I didn't have the stomach for hard alcohol, but he was fixing me with a stare, in silent appraisal.

He seemed to be saying "You want to know the secret, don't you? You want to know why I showed up at my desk for 25 years and didn't publish a damn thing. Right? Well, I'm gonna tell you. But first..finish your drink."

This was the era of hard bitten, hard drinking newsmen. I had no choice. And I wanted the story. I took a deep breath and down the stuff. I wiped the remnants off my lips and pretended to be unaffected.

Mitchell studied me carefully. He polished off the remnants of his drink and loosened up his tie. He slowly removed his Fedora and placed it on the bar.

"It's time to tell my story. It's time. It's time...."

"It's time all ready!!!" The voice was shrill and high pitched. It belonged to woman that I didn't know. Rivulets of sweat were cascading down her forehead and her face was contorted with pain.

"Where did you learn how to fu***#%n count!!?? It's been WAY past a minute!!!"

I snapped back to reality and tried to focus on her.

"Great job," I finally mustered. "That's a PR for you."

"How do you know? You've never trained me before," she shot back.

I wanted to answer her. But I couldn't. I was back at McSorleys Ale House and Joseph Mitchell was about a unravel a famous long-held secret...

So that's the Dream Job. Profile writer for the New Yorker. Passion, not necessarily money, is the chief objective.

Others?




Sent from my iPhone

[eddief]

?

[XXtwindad]

?

"The Secret Life of Walter Mitty." Famous short story by James Thurber.

[eddief]

and.

[parallelfish]

and.

Hypoxia...too long on the trainer.

[Jad]

I don't know yet what my dream job is, but in my Mitty moments, I may well play professional soccer, build steel frame sets, or somehow fly helicopters.

Mitty moments are important! So are planks. It would be very cool to talk with John McPhee about writing profiles.

[XXtwindad]

I don't know yet what my dream job is, but in my Mitty moments, I may well play professional soccer, build steel frame sets, or somehow fly helicopters.

Mitty moments are important! So are planks. It would be very cool to talk with John McPhee about writing profiles.

McPhee. Another idol!

[KJMUNC]

Too many big words for me, but my wife's grandfather has a picture on the wall of McSorleys so we try to go when in NYC, especially if when we know it will be slowish and not not overrun.

[daker13]

If the New Yorker you want to write for is the New Yorker of Joseph Mitchell and John McPhee, I have bad news for you...but on the bright side, I bet the money's pretty good now.

[paredown]

If the New Yorker you want to write for is the New Yorker of Joseph Mitchell and John McPhee, I have bad news for you...but on the bright side, I bet the money's pretty good now.
Yup--and all the good race horses are dead.

Oh, and get off my lawn!

(As a longtime New Yorker reader, I think the quality is uneven (as it always has been), there are a few too many breathless articles about some rapper or other (when the correct number should be 0), and I often skip the fiction--but--I still think it is one of the best long form article magazines out there.)

[XXtwindad]

Yup--and all the good race horses are dead.

Oh, and get off my lawn!

(As a longtime New Yorker reader, I think the quality is uneven (as it always has been), there are a few too many breathless articles about some rapper or other (when the correct number should be 0), and I often skip the fiction--but--I still think it is one of the best long form article magazines out there.)

Funny stuff. Thanks for the feedback. Regarding "long form" writing: I think there should be more of it here on the Paceline. I've advocated for that both publicly and privately. Not "War and Peace," obviously, but something longer than a few paragraphs.

Lastly, note to self : don't bury the 'lede.' :)

[OtayBW]

Funny stuff. Thanks for the feedback. Regarding "long form" writing: I think there should be more of it here on the Paceline. I've advocated for that both publicly and privately. Not "War and Peace," obviously, but something longer than a few paragraphs.

Lastly, note to self : don't bury the 'lede.' :)
I think water finds its own level....

[XXtwindad]

I think water finds its own level....

Nothing wrong with wanting to go deeper Otay :)

[OtayBW]

Nothing wrong with wanting to go deeper Otay :)
I'm just saying that this is a bike/discussion forum that has been around for coming up on 2 decades. If people want to 'go deeper' in long form writing, that's certainly OK (and I would have absolutely no objection, personally), but it just seems kind of counterintuitive to me. As I alluded to previously, you may be fishing in the wrong pond. But GL with it if that's what makes folks happy.

[notsew]

(As a longtime New Yorker reader, I think the quality is uneven (as it always has been), there are a few too many breathless articles about some rapper or other (when the correct number should be 0), and I often skip the fiction--but--I still think it is one of the best long form article magazines out there.)

Agreed on all counts

[verbs4us]

If you enjoy literary history, and The New Yorker when it was at the height of its powers, take a look at Thurber's book, The Years with Ross (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/161056.The_Years_with_Ross)

[XXtwindad]

I don't know yet what my dream job is, but in my Mitty moments, I may well play professional soccer, build steel frame sets, or somehow fly helicopters.

Mitty moments are important! So are planks. It would be very cool to talk with John McPhee about writing profiles.

There's a great review of McPhee's latest essays in the Sunday NY Times.

[XXtwindad]

If you enjoy literary history, and The New Yorker when it was at the height of its powers, take a look at Thurber's book, The Years with Ross (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/161056.The_Years_with_Ross)

On the bookshelf already! On the "to-read" list.

[XXtwindad]

I'm just saying that this is a bike/discussion forum that has been around for coming up on 2 decades. If people want to 'go deeper' in long form writing, that's certainly OK (and I would have absolutely no objection, personally), but it just seems kind of counterintuitive to me. As I alluded to previously, you may be fishing in the wrong pond. But GL with it if that's what makes folks happy.

Get off my lawn! (Oh, wait. Wrong thread :) )

[OtayBW]

Get off my lawn! (Oh, wait. Wrong thread :) )
:rolleyes:

[giverdada]

This is awesome.

I just looked up the short story and loved it. Now to watch the movie, though it may do no justice to the words...

Thanks for sharing writing. I love writing. That's my secret ideal job, but I'm only three unresponded-to pitches into it all. More to go.

[XXtwindad]

This is awesome.

I just looked up the short story and loved it. Now to watch the movie, though it may do no justice to the words...

Thanks for sharing writing. I love writing. That's my secret ideal job, but I'm only three unresponded-to pitches into it all. More to go.

Thx! :)

[livingminimal]

A couple of weeks ago I was picking up my kids from a play date at their friends house. I noticed a couple of streets over that there was massive, deep gray billowing smoke coming from a house.

I went over and parked my car, told my kids to stay inside, grabbed a hose, and single-handily put out a pretty sizable foliage fire, including an engulfed tree that was 20'-25' and just a couple of feet from a wood shingle roof. The fire fighters came eventually as a neighbor called them, and admired my handy work.

The resident was an elderly woman that was in the back of her house and didnt hear my yelling at her and didnt have any idea the front yard of her 1.5m dollar home was on fire.

I still dont want to be a fire fighter and didnt miss my calling.

[XXtwindad]

A couple of weeks ago I was picking up my kids from a play date at their friends house. I noticed a couple of streets over that there was massive, deep gray billowing smoke coming from a house.

I went over and parked my car, told my kids to stay inside, grabbed a hose, and single-handily put out a pretty sizable foliage fire, including an engulfed tree that was 20'-25' and just a couple of feet from a wood shingle roof. The fire fighters came eventually as a neighbor called them, and admired my handy work.

The resident was an elderly woman that was in the back of her house and didnt hear my yelling at her and didnt have any idea the front yard of her 1.5m dollar home was on fire.

I still dont want to be a fire fighter and didnt miss my calling.

Wow. Kudos. Your karma account just got a great deposit...

[livingminimal]

Wow. Kudos. Your karma account just got a great deposit...

Most here on ye olde forum would say I have to large a deficit to make up:)

(DILLIGAS)

[schwa86]

I don't know yet what my dream job is, but in my Mitty moments, I may well play professional soccer, build steel frame sets, or somehow fly helicopters.

Mitty moments are important! So are planks. It would be very cool to talk with John McPhee about writing profiles.

You might enjoy this piece if you haven't seen it yet: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/28/magazine/the-mind-of-john-mcphee.html?action=click&contentCollection=magazine&region=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=4&pgtype=sectionfront&_r=0

[Louis]

Yeah, Thurber could write, but that E.B. White guy - he was truly a great one.

[Jad]

There's a great review of McPhee's latest essays in the Sunday NY Times.
Ok, great--thanks, will definitely check this out.

You might enjoy this piece if you haven't seen it yet: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/28/magazine/the-mind-of-john-mcphee.html?action=click&contentCollection=magazine&region=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=4&pgtype=sectionfront&_r=0
I have seen it and did enjoy it, so thanks. I particularly liked revisiting moments from The Pine Barrens, and I actually have Draft No.4 sitting on my shelf. I haven't opened it yet, but look forward to reading it.