Dating a Minimalist...............

[GParkes]

So, I've fallen hard for a lovely woman that is a minimalist. And I mean, minimalist. We've recently broached the topic of................2 built up road bikes, 1 built up gravel bike, 1 time trial bike, 3 bare road frames, a set of mitered tubes and lugs ready to go in the jig and be lit up, 7 sets of wheels, and a large tote of spare parts. We haven't gotten to tools (I don't think they count - they're essentials).

This could be an interesting relationship.

[Cicli]

I will leave this here.

[AngryScientist]

So, I've fallen hard for a lovely woman

do what you have to do. love is more important than stuff any day of the week.

[NHAero]

Send all the “excess” bikes and stuff to fellow Paceliners - we'll keep them well used and if the relationship doesn't work out....we'll send 'em all back :)

[avalonracing]

So, I've fallen hard for a lovely woman that is a minimalist. And I mean, minimalist. We've recently broached the topic of................2 built up road bikes, 1 built up gravel bike, 1 time trial bike, 3 bare road frames, a set of mitered tubes and lugs ready to go in the jig and be lit up, 7 sets of wheels, and a large tote of spare parts. We haven't gotten to tools (I don't think they count - they're essentials).

This could be an interesting relationship.

Ditch the TT bike, the unbuilt frames, and the tubes and you are a minimalist too. (As far as I'm concerned because a man needs at least two road bikes, a gravel bike, and some tools)

[thegunner]

Send all the “excess” bikes and stuff to fellow Paceliners - we'll keep them well used and if the relationship doesn't work out....we'll send 'em all back :)

you're probably sem-joking, but i have an agreement like this with nooch.

[peanutgallery]

Get a yard car. It'll detract attention and give a place to stow things as needed

[Jaybee]

Jokes aside, my wife convinced me to cull the herd a bit when we met, and I think I’m much happier without a lot of unused or barely used stuff hanging around in our space. So maybe try it out for a bit, decide what it really means to you.

[quickfeet]

I’ve found that if my stuff is out of sight then it’s no big deal. If it’s in an eyeline I hear about it.

[GParkes]

Ditch the TT bike, the unbuilt frames, and the tubes and you are a minimalist too. (As far as I'm concerned because a man needs at least two road bikes, a gravel bike, and some tools)

The TT bike stays (my main form of racing), the Kirk stays, my own frames stay. May be looking to sell an Andy Gilmour soon...........

[GParkes]

Jokes aside, my wife convinced me to cull the herd a bit when we met, and I think I’m much happier without a lot of unused or barely used stuff hanging around in our space. So maybe try it out for a bit, decide what it really means to you.

Truth be told, was going to thin stuff out anyway, may make me look like I'm on board with the minimalist thing. And honestly, non=bike stuff disposal isn't a bad idea.

[monarchguy]

I have space in my garage, and I'm right around the corner in Rexford. Please tell me you ride a 53.....

-- Dan

[Hellgate]

I'll trade you a wife who's a horder. Need any VHS & cassette tapes?

[veloduffer]

How about getting a storage unit so it only looks like just two bikes...:p

[buddybikes]

Where are you in your relationship? If not married, then do as you want. What if this romance dwindles? If getting married, some good negotiation in order.

My wife and I are downsizing (house to to near retirement) but we are onboard with things and I get to keep my bikes (sold the tandems that weren't used)

[Ken Robb]

Get a pre-nup. :-)

[David Tollefson]

So many things I could say here. None of it bodes well for your relationship. I'll just put this one out there:
Men marry women hoping they will never change, but they do. Women marry men hoping to change them, and they never do. Both end up frustrated.

I can only say that real love accepts the other person as they are, doesn't ask them to change into something else.

[Ken Robb]

so many things i could say here. None of it bodes well for your relationship. I'll just put this one out there:
Men marry women hoping they will never change, but they do. Women marry men hoping to change them, and they never do. Both end up frustrated.

I can only say that real love accepts the other person as they are, doesn't ask them to change into something else.
amen!

[54ny77]

no joke, i have a buddy who's wife was exactly this--a hoarder who refused to get rid of BOXES of vhs tapes that were sitting in the living room. he offered countless times to hire someone to digitize them. we're talking home movies as well as, wait for it, actual commercial movies that could readily be obtained on dvd.

no joke follow up: they're since divorced.

I'll trade you a wife who's a horder. Need any VHS & cassette tapes?

[Hellgate]

no joke, i have a buddy who's wife was exactly this--a hoarder who refused to get rid of BOXES of vhs tapes that were sitting in the living room. he offered countless times to hire someone to digitize them. we're talking home movies as well as, wait for it, actual commercial movies that could readily be obtained on dvd.

no joke follow up: they're since divorced.My best hope it the house burns down. I've got plenty of insurance...

I just need to move the bicycles and motos first...

[echappist]

So many things I could say here. None of it bodes well for your relationship. I'll just put this one out there:
Men marry women hoping they will never change, but they do. Women marry men hoping to change them, and they never do. Both end up frustrated.

I can only say that real love accepts the other person as they are, doesn't ask them to change into something else.

Oscar Wilde, is that you?

[jambee]

There are two aspects to the story here (speaking from a lot of personal experience).

1. Ask yourself why do you need 3 road bikes and 8 pairs of wheels? At the end of the day you have one ass and two legs so you can only ride one bike at a time. This has nothing to do with the lady, but is entirely your own introspection. Sometimes you just need someone, like your loved ones, to make you think about your behaviour.

2. Talk to her. If you fell in love with her and think that your bike habits are going to be a problem, put the issue on the table and communicate. Relationships are a never ending negotiation. I can tell you from personal experience that my partner and I had one repeating argument every year around March or April. That is the "season starts, I am not doing ANYTHING on the weekends from now to season end other than ride bikes." How do you think that statement makes my lady feel? We argued, we talked, I listened, we reached a compromise. Everyone is happy.

Communication is the key to any healthy relationship.

[witcombusa]

do what you have to do. love is more important than stuff any day of the week.


Depends...

[saab2000]

I'm hardly a minimalist but over the past 14 months or so I've been steadily and methodically getting rid of stuff, including bike stuff. It's been fantastic.

Another bike will go soon. It's quite liberating actually and I don't miss the stuff I've quasi-hoarded over the years.

[jambee]

Watch this documentary about clutter: https://youtu.be/3AhSNsBs2Y0

This obsession with collecting stuff makes no one happy.

I do not consider myself a minimalist, but I remember when two friends from New York visited my apartment. I have been living there for 2 years at the time. They walked in and said "OMG, did you just move in?"

I was surprised as I thought "i have everything I need" which included loads of books on the shelves, a nice workspace, a huge dinner table, pictures on the walls, but for them the place was bare naked.

Making space is a transformative act.

[mcteague]

You just started dating and are considering getting rid of bikes to make her happy?:rolleyes: Wait for marriage for that kind of accommodation, if then.

Tim

[witcombusa]

Watch this documentary about clutter: https://youtu.be/3AhSNsBs2Y0

This obsession with collecting stuff makes no one happy.

I do not consider myself a minimalist, but I remember when two friends from New York visited my apartment. I have been living there for 2 years at the time. They walked in and said "OMG, did you just move in?"

I was surprised as I thought "i have everything I need" which included loads of books on the shelves, a nice workspace, a huge dinner table, pictures on the walls, but for them the place was bare naked.

Making space is a transformative act.



To each their own.

OP, your biking list look very minimalist to me already! :banana:

[sparky33]

Does she have more than zero bicycles?

So, I've fallen hard for a lovely woman that is a minimalist. And I mean, minimalist. We've recently broached the topic of................2 built up road bikes, 1 built up gravel bike, 1 time trial bike, 3 bare road frames, a set of mitered tubes and lugs ready to go in the jig and be lit up, 7 sets of wheels, and a large tote of spare parts. We haven't gotten to tools (I don't think they count - they're essentials).



This could be an interesting relationship.

[PaMtbRider]

Every time I consider selling a few rarely used bikes I see what they are worth in the current market. That usually makes me decide to keep them.

[verticaldoug]

How many times have you ridden each bike in the past 6 mo?

Getting rid of stuff and de-cluttering is a great feeling.

[soulspinner]

Build yourself an out building and tell her she wont have to look at any of it.:bike:

[hartmmike]

Everybody knows that the minimum number of bikes is N+1.

[sparky33]

Funny
In all seriousness, no.

First the bicycles move to the shed, what next? ....acceptance and understanding go both ways in a relationship.

Build yourself an out building and tell her she wont have to look at any of it.:bike:

[oldpotatoe]

So, I've fallen hard for a lovely woman that is a minimalist. And I mean, minimalist. We've recently broached the topic of................2 built up road bikes, 1 built up gravel bike, 1 time trial bike, 3 bare road frames, a set of mitered tubes and lugs ready to go in the jig and be lit up, 7 sets of wheels, and a large tote of spare parts. We haven't gotten to tools (I don't think they count - they're essentials).

This could be an interesting relationship.

It's toys, that bike stuff..love can and should be forever..:eek:
When she starts to filter coffee using a clean but old, sock, then I'd draw the line.

[johnniecakes]

So to ask the same question in another way. The minimalist said to her girlfriend. "I started dating a guy who I really like but he has more bikes and bike stuff than I think he needs, what do I do" To which the girlfriend replied, "Do you like the guy enough to allow him to be who he is without being afraid of him having to walk on egg shells all the time hoping not to upset you" "Do you like him for who he is or is he a project for you"

[OtayBW]

So, I've fallen hard for a lovely woman that is a minimalist. And I mean, minimalist. We've recently broached the topic of................2 built up road bikes, etc.
This could be an interesting relationship.
If she has (serious) problems with your existing lifestyle and legitimate hobbies, particularly those that provide physical and emotional well-being, I say: Danger. Will. Robinson.

[Aaron O]

It is OK for her to be a minimalist. It is not OK for her to apply her beliefs to you.

My (soon to be ex) was much more anti-stuff than me, and I was more of a pack rat before meeting her. I actually appreciate her "it's just stuff" approach to that cool knick knack I might have bought a flea market and I largely adopted it. However, I love bikes, and as I accepted many of her flaws, she had to accept bikes.

That worked, until it didn't. So, try to learn the positives of her approach, but don't let it kill what you love. Granted, most of us are insane, but what you laid out as your bikes doesn't sound that excessive.

Not to be doom and gloom, but I made a hell of a lot of compromises for our marriage...far more than I think she made. In retrospect, I'm bitter and ticked about that. Make sure you're getting what you give, and as tough as it is to stay rational when emotion is there, pay attention to the red flags and don't just blow everything off, or give too much ground, early. You're both going to have to make a lot of compromises, that's just how it is, but, in the words of Cheap Trick..."Surrender, but don't give yourself away." 5 bikes and some wheel sets is really not that excessive.

I like what Johnniecakes said a LOT.

[Mikej]

Storage locker rental with a beer fridge-

[Ozz]

If you don't want to change her, why would she want to change you?

[GParkes]

It'll all be good guys, amusing comments, suggestions, etc. I think much of my de-cluttering will be non-bike related, and then those bare frames. Funny thing about it is that she keeps a very tidy home, but admits to having a nice collection of shoes. So it will balance. And I know full well, relationships only succeed when we accept a partner for who they are, not who they can be. And as soon as the Gilmour is re-finished, I'll post it in classifieds, very nice frame. G

[Tickdoc]

time tested, proven, and accurate.....



https://youtu.be/XuI6GTY9eVc

[93KgBike]

It'll all be good guys, amusing comments, suggestions, etc. I think much of my de-cluttering will be non-bike related, and then those bare frames. Funny thing about it is that she keeps a very tidy home, but admits to having a nice collection of shoes. So it will balance. And I know full well, relationships only succeed when we accept a partner for who they are, not who they can be. And as soon as the Gilmour is re-finished, I'll post it in classifieds, very nice frame. G

Get her some bike shoes.

Then get her on a bike.

10 bikes is logarithmically more minimal than two personal computing devices.

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/yHAAAOSwefxbgxbx/s-l1600.jpg

[rwsaunders]

Reminds me of John Prine's Dear Abby...

Dear Abby, dear Abby
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed unhappy

Unhappy, unhappy
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ccC4aULow

[MagicHour]

Be prepared for "Hoarders" intervention scene type negotiations every time you want to buy something. ie
"How many pairs of bike shoes do you need?"
"Ok, but you're gonna sell the old one though, right?!"
"You can only ride one bike at a time."

...that sort of thing.
:help: ....just kidding
:banana:

[Dino Suegiù]

The next time you engage in these hard negotiations about things, maybe try setting the mood by doing it over a nice relaxing candlelight dinner of ham and wine?

Ham, wine, and nothing else, not even Pellegrino water, definitely not dessert. Maybe not so romantic really, for most people, but certainly très très minimal. Bon chance!

[fiamme red]

https://www.improvisedlife.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/New-Yorker-cartoon-Rick-Stevens-rich-nothing1-1024x652.jpg

[hokoman]

you're probably sem-joking, but i have an agreement like this with nooch.

thegunner and nooch,
How do I get in on this short person swap/hide?

[charliedid]

So do you two only go on like one date a month for 30 minutes or something?

Minimal

[Dino Suegiù]

thegunner and nooch,
How do I get in on this short person swap/hide?

Kind of a personal question in thread about dating...no?

[tv_vt]

Enjoying this thread. ;)

Carry on.

[GParkes]

Get her some bike shoes.

Then get her on a bike.

10 bikes is logarithmically more minimal than two personal computing devices.

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/yHAAAOSwefxbgxbx/s-l1600.jpg

Nice kicks................she might like them!

[54ny77]

Be sure to make it special jamon, you know, the Spanish kind.

http://www.infolinea.es/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/20170910-Entrega-jam%C3%B3n-Legado-Ib%C3%A9rico-Alberto-Contador-1.jpg

:banana:

The next time you engage in these hard negotiations about things, maybe try setting the mood by doing it over a nice relaxing candlelight dinner of ham and wine?

[echappist]

Be sure to make it special jamon, you know, the Spanish kind.

http://www.infolinea.es/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/20170910-Entrega-jam%C3%B3n-Legado-Ib%C3%A9rico-Alberto-Contador-1.jpg

:banana:
as long as it's not res española

[Nooch]

thegunner and nooch,
How do I get in on this short person swap/hide?

LOL. Nick has promised me if I ever, ever, ever think about unloading the pronto again that he'd store it for me until the inevitable regret set in.

[joosttx]

Get her pregnant... that minimalist stuff will end


IOW, it’s too early to go on changing....

[thegunner]

LOL. Nick has promised me if I ever, ever, ever think about unloading the pronto again that he'd store it for me until the inevitable regret set in.

i don't know if we've ever discussed an open-relationship across the tri-state area haha.

[GParkes]

You guys are hilarious. All I said was "it should be interesting". It'll be all good. I learned my mistakes last marriage. But, maybe I should get a tandem........hmmm

[54ny77]

wherever you're going, you'll get there faster with a tandem.



You guys are hilarious. All I said was "it should be interesting". It'll be all good. I learned my mistakes last marriage. But, maybe I should get a tandem........hmmm

[radsmd]

Loves come and go, but

Bikes are forever.

:banana:

[TimD]

https://www.memerewards.com/images/2018/06/25/I_just_bought_a_new_bike_The_wife_asked_if_im_sell ing_the_old_one_152996230598d3e8bdb4404cb9.png

[charliedid]

You guys are hilarious. All I said was "it should be interesting". It'll be all good. I learned my mistakes last marriage. But, maybe I should get a tandem........hmmm

Tandem is cool, just keep it real ;)

[vitaly66]

Be a man, keep your man stuff.

MGTOW -- look it up.

[weisan]

I learned my mistakes last marriage.

haha...haha...you are very funny, pal. Thanks for creating this thread. Comic relief.

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2014/10/22/arts/22Parkes-Obit/22Parkes-Obit-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale

[GParkes]

It really only just dawned on me after we were discussing plans for the upcoming weekend. Since she's a minimalist, would any disagreements or arguments be....................small ones????

[charliedid]

This is my favorite thread ever. :)

[pdonk]

While my wife is by no means a minimalist (likely 75 pairs of shoes and at least 30 purses) she does not understand my desire to collect things (books, bicycle related pint glasses, comics, music).

Last year when I started talking about getting a new bike, we discussed the boxes in the basement and what was really important there. I ended up liquidating about half my comics (200-300), a third of my books (250) and almost all of my pint glasses(50). I kept the things that were most important to me - favourite authors only, a few pint glasses from events and books I really like and want to share with our daughter.

Part of me grieved getting rid of everything, but looking at the amount of space and the paint job the sale is paying for I am happy. By no means will I ever be a minimalist, nor will she, but getting rid of things that I only liked the idea of possessing, versus having something I will really like using was a bit freeing.

[Tickdoc]

I read the Dalai Lama's book on happiness a while back and one thing he said struck a chord:

Paraphrasing here, but basically; when you see something you think you want to buy, admire it, picture yourself with it, and then step back and ask "will it bring me happiness?"

It allows you to put 90% of the crap you think you need back on the shelf.

[buddybikes]

>>>Paraphrasing here, but basically; when you see something you think you want to buy, admire it, picture yourself with it, and then step back and ask "will it bring me happiness?"

My dogs, my Firefly and "old man" kevlar surf kayak was a certain YES!
Of course buying GOOD seafood to cook on Friday nights also!

[jh_on_the_cape]

HA so funny. I am/was in the danger zone. Redhead hairdresser/stripper named Tiffany. Better than a tranny.

time tested, proven, and accurate.....



https://youtu.be/XuI6GTY9eVc

[simonov]

HA so funny. I am/was in the danger zone. Redhead hairdresser/stripper named Tiffany. Better than a tranny.

Dude, way to come across as a caveman.

[benb]

If she's really a minimalist once the bikes are gone she'll want to burn the house down and move into the shed.

Kind of kidding/kind of not really kidding.

My wife didn't really start trying to get me to get rid of anything till our kid was imminent.. I got rid of my motorcycle. Not really a big deal.

My old formula was 2 bicycles and 1 motorcycle. I did go down to just 2 bikes but for the past 3 seasons I've been at 3 bicycles, no plans to get rid of anything till something breaks really badly. My MTB is ancient.. if it gives up the ghost (frame, fork, wheels?) I will have a hard time paying enough to replace it.

She also has a thing for getting rid of physical (paper) books. I would love to have one of those home office/libraries with the walls lined with books, she's not into that at all.

[Ken Robb]

If she's really a minimalist once the bikes are gone she'll want to burn the house down and move into the shed.

Kind of kidding/kind of not really kidding.

My wife didn't really start trying to get me to get rid of anything till our kid was imminent.. I got rid of my motorcycle. Not really a big deal.

My old formula was 2 bicycles and 1 motorcycle. I did go down to just 2 bikes but for the past 3 seasons I've been at 3 bicycles, no plans to get rid of anything till something breaks really badly. My MTB is ancient.. if it gives up the ghost (frame, fork, wheels?) I will have a hard time paying enough to replace it.

She also has a thing for getting rid of physical (paper) books. I would love to have one of those home office/libraries with the walls lined with books, she's not into that at all.

When your ancient mtn. bike dies you can buy a really nice 26" bike for peanuts because "everyone needs a 29er".

[gdw]

Did she also give you a list of 22 rules that you will have to follow?

https://www.boredpanda.com/girlfriend-rules-list-boyfriend-men-tumblr/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

[Tickdoc]

>>>Paraphrasing here, but basically; when you see something you think you want to buy, admire it, picture yourself with it, and then step back and ask "will it bring me happiness?"

My dogs, my Firefly and "old man" kevlar surf kayak was a certain YES!
Of course buying GOOD seafood to cook on Friday nights also!

that is much better.

[DarkStar]

Don’t know how it would work out, but for the right woman willing to reduce the hundreds of books, half a dozen bikes and guitars, and a nice selection of microphones. The deal breaker would by my vinyl collection:banana:

[Keith A]

I've had a complaint about this discussion, so if we want to keep this open, let's take the higher road.

[pincopallinobis]

Yes, please.

Why is this clichè misogynistic "humor" always still considered so very funny, in 2018 and with everything happening now?

Also, I think that it is correctly written "a lovely woman who is a minimalist" and not "a lovely woman that is a minimalist". She is not a thing, we hope.

[bicycletricycle]

I think it can be really difficult to span a big gap in lifestyles like that.

[Tickdoc]

it's time for an off-topic room, imo.:fight:

[kppolich]

This relationship should be a good chance for both of you to learn some new things and learn more about each other. Decluttering is awesome, but so is having things you value and bring you joy.

She can be a minimalist, you don't have to be. If she tries to make you into something you don't want, then talk about it and state why these things are necessary for your lifestyle.

I'm a big fan of having less stuff. It gives you more time to enjoy the things you do have. It also allows you to focus on a few important things rather than collecting a bunch of 1-time use junk.

Communicate and all will be fine.

[charliedid]

Dude, way to come across as a caveman.



Seriously. How do you know I’m not Tran?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[gasman]

I think we've had all the discussion there is to be had here without going off the rails more. We need to be respectful of women.