My childrens' first day without a dog

[Kevin]

I am sitting here in tears as I write this. The family dog of nearly 14 years was diagnosed with lung cancer and stomach cancer in May. Even though we had thrown money at her prior health issues, two artificial knees, root canal and significant monthly prescriptions, we decided that she was too old to put her through chemo.

For the last several months, I have watched this family member slowly die as her weight has dropped from the mid 90s to 46 pounds. By the end she was nothing but a huge heart within a bag of bones. Every time I would bring up the idea of doing the humane thing and putting her down, my children would burst into tears and say that Brooke was still happy because she was still wagging her tail and licking their faces. While my children were focusing on her wagging tail and her licking their faces, I could not ignore the weight loss, her falling down and me carrying her up and down the stairs every night so she could sleep with my children.

Earlier this week, through much tears, many my own, my children agreed it was time to put Brooke down. So we made an appointment with the vet to come to the house. My children and wife could not bear to be there when Brooke died, so I had to stand there helplessly and watch the entire family say goodbye to Brooke as they sobbed and I was left to wait for the Vet and to watch her die. I sat there alone with the dog waiting for the vet to arrive. When the vet arrived Brooke was lying in her favorite spot, at the front door, with a view of the yard. The vet then hooked her up to the solution. Despite her recent weight loss, the Vet filled the syringe with a dosage for a 100 pound dog. But the Vet did not realize the size of Brooke's heart, after the syringe was empty Brooke was still licking my hand as I held her head. The Vet had to give her another 50 pound dosage before she stopped licking my hand, she died 30 seconds later. I watched as they carried her out on a gurney. I then called my wife and children to tell them that Brooke was gone.

While yesterday was emotional, it did not hit me until this morning, when I checked in on my sleeping children, that this is going to be the first morning in their young lives that Brooke is not going to be there to greet them. I am sitting here helplessly unable to protect them from that pain. So while I have not been an active participant on the forum in the last several months, I decided that I would bare my soul in hopes of preparing my self for what is going to be another difficult day.

I hope to shortly return to my bike and to the forum. Here is Brooke in happier days, when the kids gave her a 13th birthday party, a couple of months before the cancer diagnosis. Thanks for listening.

Kevin

[Johny]

Kevin,

I am sorry for Brooke's death.

She had a happy life with the family. Her spirit is always with you.

John

[m_moses]

What a heartbreaking story . . . being a parent is so hard sometimes.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Smiley]

Kevin , Brooke has crossed the Rainbow bridge to a better place where she will be reunited with you one day. I feel for you and your family.

[theprep]

I'm sorry for your loss Kevin.

Kids are strong. It sounds like they have a great Dad so they will heal and be fine with time.

Joe

[Ray]

Very very sad and heartfelt story. In time, the happy memories will overwhelm the sadness. Hang in there until then.

-Ray

[Archibald]

I feel for you.

You begin from nothing, you end as nothing, it's all the same. Life is memory. Brooke is not "dead"; she's alive in your family's memory. Your family will miss her presence, but she is not gone, she is not dead, until you've forgotten her.

Don't forget her.

[Ginger]

Brooke looks like a happy dog. She was lucky to have a family such as yours.

When I put my horse down after 27 years I had a discussion with the vet. It is far easier to allow a disease to take an animal to a place where they are obviously miserable and dying and you are obviously doing the right thing and putting them out of their misery. It is much harder, but kinder, taking them from this life before they get to that point even though it is only days away.

At the time it's hard to tell if it's the right thing, but it is. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Mary Ann

[Louis]

Sad story, Kevin, but I'm glad you shared it with us. I still remember loosing some of my dogs as a kid. It's not easy. Others have mentioned this above, but as an adult I realize that life is a cycle, and our pets have shorter life spans than ours. The best we can offer them are safe, happy homes when they are with us, and you certainly have done that for Brooke.

As I type this I have two cats sitting one my lap, Abby, who is about 14 and Nyx, who is about 4...

Louis

[BumbleBeeDave]

I have never had to do this, but I know someday I probably will. I've heard people say "Oh, c'mon--it's just a dog (cat, horse, etc.)."

But "it" isn't . . . SHE or HE is your friend, your family member, your teacher, and your mentor. I'm very sorry for your loss and hope that while your children are heartbroken, at least for them this will turn into a positive lesson that everything, even lives, has a beginning, a middle, and an end--and that the end can be handled with dignity and love.

BBD

[Kevan]

Kevin, my heart goes out to you and yours. Be well and enjoy the memories. She lives on.

[Dekonick]

While a Dog may be with us for only a few years, they bring joy enough to last a lifetime and more.

I feel your pain.

[Rapid Tourist]

All the best to you and your family. I'm thinking of you.

[mgm777]

Kevin - Your story is gut wrenching. My condolences to you and your family. I just went through the same thing two months ago with my 11 year old shepherd. I have two little ones at home still, a 6 and a 5 year old. It was devastating. Know that the cloud of sadness will eventually lift. Going through this, made me realize that our time with every living being in our lives is very finite. I don't take a single day for granted anymore.

[Skrawny]

My condolences.
A very sad time for your family, and an important part of growing up for your children.
-s

[Sandy]

The devotion and love shared by Brooke and her family makes the loss so difficult to all. Clearly, she lived in a dog's paradise with your family. She was undoubtedly a most fortunate dog to have shared her time with your family and likewise the family was genuinely blessed by such a loving soul.

It is often exceptionally difficult to know that it is time to let go, but your family made the right decision when it did.

You will have wonderful memories of the love that existed at your home. Best to you, your wife, and your daughters.


Sandy

[morty]

Kevin,

I cried when I read your post. I too had to put my beloved dog down two years ago when he fell very ill with cancer. He was jut three months shy of turning 14, and he was like my child and best friend. He got me through the tough days of a painful divorce and kept me company when I was alone and feeling pretty low. Putting him down was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, even though it was the right thing. I will always miss him.

It's never easy having to play God--that's what makes us compassionate human beings. You weep for your children knowing how heartbroken they feel at the loss of Brooke; you weep for yourself for the heavy heart you bear in having to put her down. Brooke taught your children many a life's lessons, one being the natural progression of life and its end, and you offered her release from pain and suffering in a final act of kindness.

Brooke will live on in your memories and in time, when the wound has had a chance to heal, you will be able to open your heart and love again. Your children are lucky to have a dad like you.

Suzanne

[sc53]

Kevin and family, I too have tears in my eyes as I read your post and the replies. Losing a beloved pet is almost too hard to bear, but you and your family will slowly heal and your memories of Brooke will bring laughter not tears. You had 14 yrs of joy with her and you and the kids will have a wonderful time reminiscing about her antics and shenanigans once your hearts are less heavy. I have lost 4 dogs as an adult and I still miss and reminisce about them all! Your family will be closer and more compassionate to each other when this hard time passes.

[1centaur]

I guess you have much of the forum shedding tears with you, myself included.

My wife is tougher than I am about these things. I have told her I would not buy a dog and enjoy the years of happiness we would give each other if I had to be the one to take that final step. She takes it for me each time and in so doing grants me the unalloyed joy of having great dogs as my friends and companions. You have taken on that role for your family. Well but sadly done.

You and your children will have dogs and happiness again, soon I hope. They say time heals wounds, but I say dogs heal them better.

[H.Frank Beshear]

When it came time for Fearless my 20 year old Kitty who had lain on my lap while I recovered from chemo, Shannon (at age 9) and Debbie took her to the vet. Fearless had slept in the crook of Shannons arm for years. Shannon wanted to be part of the process. She painted a head stone for her and we buried in the corner woods where the wild kitties live. Darn old cat used to sneak out when we brought in groceries I'd go looking for her and usually found her in the middle of a fight. She usually gave much better than she got. I still miss her, darned old cat. Hang in Kevin, the kids will recover faster than we do. Frank

[72gmc]

thank you for your words, kevin.

our corgi died in the emergency clinic just last night. i logged on so that i might think about anything but that... then i read your post. i am very sorry for you and your family. and i am glad there are people like you out there for dogs like brooke. i think daphne would have liked you all.

[dave thompson]

I've had dogs all of my life and I've said my goodbyes to many of them. It never gets any easier.

The joy will return as you contemplate, look for and choose that new perfect pup that will occupy your lives. Brooke will always be remembered fondly by your family, but the new dog, while not replacing Brooke, will add to the love your family has to offer.

[Elefantino]

Kevin

I echo: Sounds like your kids have a special dad, and their dad has special kids.

All the best.

[Kevin]

Thank you for all of the kind responses. The weekend went better than I feared. We kept the kids busy with dance classes, pumpkin picking and spending time with their assorted cousins. So while there were a few moments of sadness, the weekend went pretty well. Thanks again, writing that post was very therapeutic.

Kevin

[petitelilpettit]

I'm sorry for your loss, Kevin. I too have had a loss with a 16 year old lab who was put down without me knowing 2 days before my birthday. She had many physical problems, but my dad gave Tabitha to my mom for their first-year anniversary as a pup, and I grew up with her. I found about her when I got home from school and my sister was sitting in my dad's lap and crying. When I asked what's wrong and they told me that they put Tabitha down, I didn't come out of my room for a few hours. I am sorry about your family's loss, but I know that you will be able to move on with life, while continuing to remember Brooke for who she was.

Pettit

[William]

Kevin,

I went through the same thing a few years ago and I understand your pain and tears. As difficult as it was, you made the right choice and handled the situation like a great father and companion. It gets a little easier with time but you never forget all the great times your furry friend was able to create and share with you and your family.


Sincerely,
William

[wooly]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I went through this earlier this year when we had to put my Great Dane to sleep. It was much harder than I anticipated. I, too, had kids to console not realizing that I was going to have to console myslef as well. On the bright side, you had many great years with Brooke!

[Serotta PETE]

Kevin, sorry to hear of the sadness and loss in your family.

I went thru this twice while my daughters were growing up. All of us have fond memories of both Teddy and Jessie, who were part of life during those years.

It never gets easy BUT - just always remember all the great times that were shared.

We now have crazy Bailey and Logan.. (Bailey is waiting for SANDY to come back with bagels).

They add to our lives, while never taking the place of their older family that has past, in GREAT ways.

Hang in there.........PETE

[RABikes2]

Kevin, I'm sorry about the loss of your beautiful Brooke. I hope you and your family are feeling a little better this week. Remember all the wonderful memories with her as she's wagging her tail and watching over all of you.
Warm regards,
RA

[Kevin]

I just love this place. I have never "met" a greater group of people. Thank you for all of the kind words.

Kevin

[gasman]

We had to put down the best dog we ever had this last Jan. It hurts and is hard on everyone. I'm sorry to hear about your loss-it gets easier over time but it alwyas hurts. We finally got another dog, well puppy, the other day. He will fill the "dog" place in our hearts and home but he will never replace the dog we lost. It is just different.

[Bob Hill]

My heart goes out to you and your family Kevin... As others have said, time will help you to get past the grief and dwell on the happier memories. The pain will come to the surface at times, but from my experience in having lost three wonderful dogs in the past three years, it serves to remind us how blessed we were by their company during their short time on this earth.

I do hope that you take solice in the fact that you were there for her at the end. As gut wrenching as that must have been, that was a wonderful gift to give to Brooke and your family. Unlike us, dogs live in the moment. Brooke felt loved up to her last breath - and love from their owners is all that any dog wants.

[ti_boi]

I just wanted to say that your post was very touching. I hope everybody there is doing OK. Whew. Pets are a really something aren't they? We invest a lot in their well-being and they serve as the ideal model of availability and dedication to a simple idea....companionship. While my steps have slowed significantly while I walk with my two boys...12 and 13...I cannot help but to be grateful for having met them. We marked so much time together and spent hours and hours just 'being'. It is time that I will never get back, but would never want to change. There is something amazing about getting to know an animal over time. They truly know you and still look lovingly into your eyes and want to be as close to you as possible. One day, who knows when I will have to explain to my little girl...now almost 3...where one or both of the little old men has gone off to. I dread that day, because it will mark an end and a beginning. Because we are blessed with awareness that our days are numbered, we need to appreciate every moment. Yesterday I walked a few extra blocks to the fenced fields where the guys can run without leashes. I luxuriated in the fall colors and wondered how many more winters I would have my best friends by my side. I know the loss hurts. I got these guys a year after my first terrier died at 17. He was with me when I was 10 years-old until I was 27. In my mind there is no better way to spend your days than with a loyal dog by your side. Be well.

[Climb01742]

last october we had to put sammy, our 16 year old cocker, to sleep. a year has made the pain and loss slightly better. but i still think of him, and miss him, almost every day. he was the kindest, gentlest soul -- human or otherwise -- i've ever met. i try to live up to his example. that is something good that has come from his passing. kevin, my thoughts are with you and your family. the coin, of which love and sadness are the two sides, is the thinnest coin ever minted. hang in there, pal.

[SLOrider]

Kevin you and your family will move on but it will take a while. My kids were 4-6 when we had to put our dog of 15 years down. It also had been close to a year of watching a active happy dog deteriorate with lots of medication, seizure activity weight loss, visual and hearing loss and then a stroke. Our entire family was in tears and the kids had a really hard time during this progression.

At the end when that day with the vet came we were all a wreck. For the next year my youngest would often be seen in the yard by herself throwing the ball up into the air and telling us she is throwing it for her dog but upset because it keeps coming back. Every night included a prayer for Bert at dinner and at bedtime. I think that this year may be the first that we will not have to hang his stocking for Christmas.

The point of this story is to say that you guys while hurt for a long time. But as with all other things it will get easier with time and your kids will have learned a real lesson in life that they will take with them always.