R.I.P. Mr. Squirrel

[bart998]

On this mornings ride I'm afraid I did him in. I was descending a minor hill at about 35 mph when Mr. Squirrel decided to cross from my left. I moved right (as far as I could) and yelled to scare/warn him. He kept coming and impact seemed inevitable. At the last moment I swerved left to pass behind him... but he stopped. The thud was audible and rattled me out of the saddle. I went back but he had crawled off into the bushes as a slight blood trail testified. (Taps plays).

[Seramount]

RIP...?

more like Rot in Hell you little, brain-damaged rodent.

we are currently experiencing a bumper crop of furry kamikazes...dodging them is a full-time effort.

that whole head-fake, false-start, scamper directly into my line thing is getting old...

just stop where you are, I'll steer around you...sabe' what I'm sayin'...?

[batman1425]

Be thankful he didn't make it in between one of your spokes and lock a wheel.

[DarkStar]

Deal with squirrels and groundhogs on my daily ride through a national park. Witnessed a girl roller-blading taken out by a groundhog running into her blades.

[Don49]

Not to worry, that wasn't our Mr. Squirrel.
Our Mr. Squirrel is too damm fast to get run over.
He'll be by shortly, I hope.

[Matthew]

I had one make it through my front wheel once while mountain biking. Radially laced spokes may have helped? Kept right on running as if nothing happened. Crazy

[clyde the point]

Tree Rats.

[Burnette]

On this mornings ride I'm afraid I did him in. I was descending a minor hill at about 35 mph when Mr. Squirrel decided to cross from my left. I moved right (as far as I could) and yelled to scare/warn him. He kept coming and impact seemed inevitable. At the last moment I swerved left to pass behind him... but he stopped. The thud was audible and rattled me out of the saddle. I went back but he had crawled off into the bushes as a slight blood trail testified. (Taps plays).

Isn't there a guy in this board that goes by squirrel, or he always posts with something about squirrels and nuts? I read you title and thought that guy died! Glad to see it's a light hearted thread.

My squirrel story is about Freeman Road. It's a long, steep road, starts at 6%, then 8, kicks up to 11% quickly and grinds you till it hits 15%. After that it's a long 8% to the main road.

Two years ago that hill had me by the throat. I was kicking the bike left and right and giving it all I had and was barely moving. To the side of the road I saw a squirrel in the woods. I was going so slow I could watch him saunter to the white line and stand up on his hind legs. He looked me dead in the eye and I felt judged. He wasn't afraid, he actually seemed amused at my suffering. I hated that squirrel.

[cadence90]

Isn't there a guy in this board that goes by squirrel, or he always posts with something about squirrels and nuts? I read you title and thought that guy died!
Maybe read post #5, just 3 posts up?
.

[Burnette]

Maybe read post #5, just 3 posts up?
.

If you read my post I thought the guy died before I opened the thread. I did read the whole thread after reading the title. That's where I discovered it was a squirrel death thread.

But thanks for the snark dude.

[Mr. Squirrel]

Not to worry, that wasn't our Mr. Squirrel.
Our Mr. Squirrel is too damm fast to get run over.
He'll be by shortly, I hope.



it was not me. squirrels can jump vertically five feet, and can leap between objects that are over ten feet apart. given that we are less than 1/10th the size of people, if you could do this, you would be a superhero who could literally jump onto five story buildings and clear buses and trucks in a single bound. and that is not nuts! nuk nuk nuk!

mr. squirrel

[cadence90]

it was not me. squirrels can jump vertically five feet, and can leap between objects that are over ten feet apart. given that we are less than 1/10th the size of people, if you could do this, you would be a superhero who could literally jump onto five story buildings and clear buses and trucks in a single bound. and that is not nuts! nuk nuk nuk!

mr. squirrel


Good to hear from you and that all is well.
Still, so sad to hear of your relative loss.

;)
.

[OtayBW]

^^ Yeah, but they're not always too smart....

[Louis]

On this mornings ride I'm afraid I did him in. I was descending a minor hill at about 35 mph when Mr. Squirrel decided to cross from my left. I moved right (as far as I could) and yelled to scare/warn him. He kept coming and impact seemed inevitable. At the last moment I swerved left to pass behind him... but he stopped. The thud was audible and rattled me out of the saddle. I went back but he had crawled off into the bushes as a slight blood trail testified. (Taps plays).

I'd like to believe that the squirrel was only somewhat injured, and made it home safely. Just as the OP started this thread Mr. Squirrel was probably telling his friends "I swear to you, those bicycles are totally unpredictable. I managed to slam on the brakes and come to a full stop, but what did the bicycle to at the very last second? He swerved right at me and ran over my tail. It's as if he was purposely trying to kill me. I tell you, those bicycles are crazy!"

[cadence90]

^^ Yeah, but they're not always too smart....
Well, clearly you are anti-DASA (Deferred Action for Squirrel Arrivals)!

:banana:
.

[Mr. Squirrel]

I'd like to believe that the squirrel was only somewhat injured, and made it home safely. Just as the OP started this thread Mr. Squirrel was probably telling his friends "I swear to you, those bicycles are totally unpredictable. I managed to slam on the brakes and come to a full stop, but what did the bicycle to at the very last second? He swerved right at me and ran over my tail. It's as if he was purposely trying to kill me. I tell you, those bicycles are crazy!"

dear mr louis,

i nut you!

mr. squirrel

[Louis]

Well, clearly you are anti-DASA (Deferred Action for Squirrel Arrivals)!

:banana:
.


No squirrel political discussions allowed !!!

[cadence90]

No squirrel political discussions allowed !!!

Sqwirlz haz politicks? :confused:
.

[cmg]

man, there are some really gruesome photos of bike caused squirrel death. :)

[Veloo]

Umm.... I need to know where you found this.

man, there are some really gruesome photos of bike caused squirrel death. :)

[clyde the point]

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1377/977159315_f9c1780944.jpg

[rwsaunders]

I went through a canister of .177 rounds this Winter thinning my local squirrel herd...I didn't want to see them starve. With Spring somewhat here, now there is this orange, mangy one scampering through the yard that needs to meet his maker.

[Louis]

Sqwirlz haz politicks? :confused:
.

DASA is quite controversial on squirrel fora that allow political discussions.

[joosttx]

As Carrie Bradshaw said, "A squirrel is just a rat in a cuter outfit".
I hit one descending at about 30 miles per hour. I am lucky that I was not killed too.

[simplemind]

I hit one descending at about 30 miles per hour. I am lucky that I was not killed too.

Exactly, and the OP as well! And just today, I almost rear ended a car in front of me as she slammed on her brakes to avoid...yes, a squirrel darting across the road in front of her! :eek: Arrgh!

[cadence90]

DASA is quite controversial on squirrel fora that allow political discussions.

I truly did not know that. Thanks very much for the info.

In that case I will of course forever hold my peace here re: bringing up any DASA issues. I wouldn't want the squirrels to get upset and veto the Paceline Forum and/or take "more drastic" measures and/or, squirrel-gawd forbid, for Mr. Squirrel himself to somehow become caught in any fora-fora crossfire. :no:


:)
.

[dougdye]

this wins the thread of the year! hilarious comments!

[miksibis]

This one became wedged between fork and downtube causing 1 rider to suffer a detached bicep and another with 2 broken arms.

[Mr. Pink]

I'd be more concerned if his friend moose was right behind him.

[Mr. Squirrel]

showing my cousins who died valiantly is not nice.

mr. squirrel

[Mr. Squirrel]

nuk nuk nuk!

mr. squirrel

[William]

Go away bad rodent, GO AWAY!!!:butt:





:)
William

[cloudguy]

showing my cousins who died valiantly is not nice.

mr. squirrel

Here is a more uplifting story that suggests there may be hope for the OP's unfortunate victim.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/karamel-squirrel-prosthetic-wheels_us_5ac519e4e4b09ef3b243058d

[OtayBW]

Now behave yourself Mr. Squirrel, or we will turn you into Varmint Empanada....

[joev]

A similar story with me the other day but with a rabbit. I was flying in the dark on my morning ride at about 30 mph (slight downhill)...500+ lumen light a blastin'... when out of the corner of my left eye I saw a rabbit running right towards my path. Wouldn't you think he be running away?

I'd like to say time started to slow down as I deftly "bunny hopped" the little bugger. No, but what happened was surreal. In that spit second, I couldn't react at all and rode right over him only hearing what I can only describe as two quick sounds of someone crinkling one of those old styrofoam milk cartons.:eek:

As quick as I first glimpsed him, it was over without so much a feeling of the slighted bump in the road.

I didn't stop nor look back.

[Tony T]

No Mr. Squirrel Thread is complete without:

https://www.americangrit.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/maxresdefault-2-1263x560.jpg

[93KgBike]

This thread needs to link to the woman getting KO'd by a kangaroo, or the guy getting hammered by a gazelle. Squirrels, kangaroos and gazelle seem to be the Axis powers of biking.

[Don49]

Squirrels, kangaroos and gazelle seem to be the Axis powers of biking.Badgers! Somebody report back if you've run over a badger and how that turned out.

[fiamme red]

Badgers! Somebody report back if you've run over a badger and how that turned out.I once nearly hit a raccoon at night in Central Park.

[William]

Badgers! Somebody report back if you've run over a badger and how that turned out.



You DON'T hit the Badger, the Badger HITS you!!!




William

[cadence90]

You DON'T hit the Badger, the Badger HITS you!!!




William
Why do people ALWAYS post the fake version of that photo, and NEVER the real one? :confused:

William, as a mod you should really feel at least doubly ashamed for perpetuating the false myth like that and for completely disregarding/dishonoring Mssr. Squirrel's own very prominent role in passionately leading the protest during "l'affaire Hinault à La Ciotat : blaireau contre écureuil!". Some people...sheesh.... :rolleyes:







http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r654/traghetter/Badger_01_zpspzdckdiu.jpg (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/traghetter/media/Badger_01_zpspzdckdiu.jpg.html)

http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r654/traghetter/Badger_03_zpslsul3axf.jpg (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/traghetter/media/Badger_03_zpslsul3axf.jpg.html)
.

[William]

Since we are talking full disclosure here, the original image also caught the Lucky Charms Leprechaun in action. Tour organizers didn’t want it known that he was promising gold at the end of the Tour and enticing young cyclists with performance enhancing marshmallows. The Badger wasn’t happy about the whole affair…







William

[cadence90]

Since we are talking full disclosure here, the original image also caught the Lucky Charms Leprechaun in action. Tour organizers didn’t want it known that he was promising gold at the end of the Tour and enticing young cyclists with performance enhancing marshmallows. The Badger wasn’t happy about the whole affair…

William

Ha ha ha, so good! The resemblance is uncanny.

https://forums.thepaceline.net/images/icons/icon14.gif
.

[SpokeValley]

We need more threads like this. Hilarious! :banana:

[biker72]

..

[cadence90]

Well, wow: it turns out that we have all been fed lies! about this image for years and years and years. After a bit more digging around in the archives, it has come out that the truth is of course far different from that which we have always been told in the lbs's, coffee shops, papers, magazines, WCP videos, etc....

The real story goes that, back in the day, Mr. Squirrel spent some of his considerable "political capital" to have any and all recognizable aspects of his and his rabble's involvement in this famous mêlée completely excised from all photos...except this one that the censors missed*. This was clearly, imho and atmo too, an obviously cheap and sordid attempt to make the entire l'affaire appear to be solely a confrontation between "le gang Hinault", as Mr. Squirrel called them, and the La Ciotat dockworkers, as everybody called them, and thus make the entire world think that the squirrels were completely innocent and therefore free of any responsibility! Not so, not so at all, it seems....

NBC is running an exclusive story on it all this Sunday evening, as part of their Paris-Roubaix wrap-up show. I can't wait!


*(Apparently Laurent Fignon found this photo in some Nice bar one dark and stormy night when he was looking for his glasses...subsequently gave it to his barber...from whom Geraldo Rivera acquired it. Do not ask me how.)

N.B.: I can't really tell if that is Mme. Squirrel on the far lower left, torching Bernard Hinault's derrière, and Mlle. Squirrel on the far lower right, torching the La Ciotat dockworker's derrière, or vice versa. Please forgive me, but you must admit that the family features are all extremely, eerily similar....

http://i1360.photobucket.com/albums/r654/traghetter/blaireau%20contre%20cureuil_02_zpsqnbeqaoh.jpg (http://s1360.photobucket.com/user/traghetter/media/blaireau%20contre%20cureuil_02_zpsqnbeqaoh.jpg.htm l)
.

[adub]

Be thankful he didn't make it in between one of your spokes and lock a wheel.

I'm no structural engineer but I doubt a squirrel carcass in a spoke would cause a locked wheel. More likely a beheading.

[MikeD]

Squirrels... Got them running across my path often. I don't even try to veer out of the way. Haven't hit one yet (knock on wood). Hear them squeak when it's close. I like to call them sh*tters.

[GOTHBROOKS]

I'm no structural engineer but I doubt a squirrel carcass in a spoke would cause a locked wheel. More likely a beheading.
https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/6/76039319_f5e81e4f93_z.jpg

[batman1425]

^This. Can be a very bad thing for both animal and rider.