Cycling and Depression- A personal perspective.

[Sandy]

Cycling is exceptionally important to me. It transformed me from a 280-285 pound totally out of shape physical and emotional cripple and loner into a 210 pound in shape, enthusiastic, and very healthy individual. I joined a local bicycle club, did many rides, met Smiley and started riding with him and his local group, started participating very actively in the Serotta forum, met many wonderful cyclists, made some genuinely wonderful and important friendships, and enjoyed the wonderful comerarderie that cycling gives all of us who desire such. But now, all has changed, remarkably so.

Some years back, I started having very substantial energy problems, often feeling very tired, sleepy, and fatigued, so much that my cycling suffered greatly, as did all else in my life. I went to numerous doctors- infectious disease, endocrinologist, psychiatrist, general practicioner, neurologist, cardiologist,... Nothing of any significance was ever found. I was very healthy- resting heart rate in the 40's, low blood pressure, etc.

After finding no physical problems, I was finally diagnosed as having atypical depression. The problem has gotten much worse, especially lately. I was taking two medications for the problem- Paxil and Lamictal, but the Lamictal was determined to be the reason for a problem that I was having relative to balance and steadiness, which very adversely affected my cycling. I no longer take the Lamictal and my steadiness problem on the bike has disappeared, but my lack of energy and fatigue has not.

I lack enthusiasm and energy for doing most anything, except sleeping and eating- Both typical of atypical depression. I had lost 20 ponds on a very controlled and sensible diet, but I have gained that back and am now a very overweight 230 pounds. I have ridden a total of 42 miles in the last 3 weeks and have not ridden at all in the last week. I no longer go the the shelter, that I did previously, to walk dogs. I love cycling and dogs and have basically abandoned both. I am a rather simple person with simple needs. Cycling, dogs, and my family, and friends are all that I really need for genuine happiness.

Unfortunately, I do not presently have the enthusasim to even ride or walk dogs. I seldom participate on the Serotta Forum. I no longer have the inspiration to write my silly Serotta Sandy stories that I enjoyed creating previously.

Love your cycling and whatever is important to you. There are many reasons why it may not last. Fatigue/depression is my reason, but I do plan to overcome it and even one day post a picture of a lean Sandy. In addition, I will show a choice few that they deserve getting their butts dropped on some rides.



Sandy

[atmo]

sandy-issimo
i know everyone here wishes you the best,
and a happy new year as well atmo bro.
e-MENACHEM

[mosca]

Sandy,

I really appreciate your willingness to share these experiences here on the forum, and wish you all the best.

There is a book called Darkness Visible by William Styron in which he talks about his struggle with depression. Not sure if it would be helpful to you but I found it very interesting.

mosca

[mike p]

Sandy,
I know many people who suffer from depression. Dork that I am, I would think, snap out of it, run, bike, be active, don't just sit there and mope. That was before it affected someone very close to me and I became much more aware. It's a hard row to hoe as my old friend would say. There is hope, many people are completely restored and many manage quite well with meds. Don't give up, we'll be praying for you.

Mike

[zeroking17]

The fact that you are terrificly lucid about your situation, coupled with your willingness to be brutally frank to yourself and with us, is a good sign. I've wrestled with similar demons at several points in my life. Sometimes it's painful, very painful, just to keep on keepin on. Just know that you are not alone.

John

[catulle]

I'm very sorry to hear you're having problems and most certainly wish you a speedy recovery. Please note that low blood pressure could make you feel fatigued, sleepy and tired. Also, Paxil might not be the ticket for you. Paxil is great for social anxiety disorders and is also used for depression, but there may be other medications for depression better suited to you. I think it is time to consult with a good psychiatrist.

I'll make use of the occassion to relate an anecdote. Some years ago, my brother started having panic attacks in close environments, at altitude, even when driving in open spaces at times. However, he is an extremely hermetic and private person and would not let anyone know of his problem. But things started getting complicated as he needs to travel to the Orient on business and he couldn't go because of the panic attacks.

To make a long story short, he left very quietly for the US to consult with a renown psychiatrist. When finally meeting with the doctor he poured his heart out for a long time non-stop. After all, he had kept that stuff quiet for a long time. When he finally finished talking, the doctor scraped his throat and asked: Was your father color blind by any chance? Taken aback by the unexpected question my brother said: Yes, why? And the doctor answered while writing a prescription: Oh, don't worry, you just need to take these pills for a few weeks and then switch to these others and you'll be fine.

To this day my brother travels back and forth to China and so on without a hitch. Being a businessman and very wealthy he didn't bother to ask what did his tribulations had to do with our dad being color blind. Oh well, you can't accuse him of intellectual curiosity, of course.

Take care, Sandy.

[Bill Bove]

Sandy, DO NOT GIVE UP. Did you hear me? DO NOT GIVE UP. I have battled depression for the last 20 years, sometimes I think my life is not worth living. It is. I'm currently not on any meds but that can and may change, I take it day by day. Find a doctor you can talk to, it may take some doing but you have to have a good doctor who understands you. I'm a vet, the VA is a great place for this sort of thing.I know that they have helped me a lot. It's a lot of work Sandy but you can get better. You'll have to change the way you think and do some things as well as popping a pill. There is help out there Sandy, find it. It is worth it.

[swoop]

keep up the good fight brotha. and make sure they checked your testosterone!

[jeffg]

You are doing the right thing by telling your story and seeking support.

Know that many people here are invested in your success, even those of us like me who have never met you in person.

Anyone who can inspire such support will never be alone with this issue.

Best,

Jeff

[Dekonick]

I think you need a Hors Categorie. This cures depression - guranteed.

Dek.

Truckie wishes you well! <arf!>

[1centaur]

I would echo the comment on Paxil. A drug that causes weight gain and decreases libido seems to me like a typical modern pharma solution - correlates with one positive outcome enough to get approved and with no horribly negative outcomes to get denied, but lots of little negatives that doctors can brush off in their ivory tower ignorance. Someday the SSRIs will be viewed as ridiculously blunt instruments.

In the meantime, Wellbutrin comes to mind for a change of pace in the antidepressant arsenal, assuming your prescriber concurs (I have seen it work on folks around me several times, and I was the motivator in one case after reading a lot about the options and making some guesses between the lines). Otherwise, the generic advice applies, wrong or right: a bad or more likely pleasantly clueless doctor can lead you astray for a long time, and elements in your environment that seem innocuous may not be and it might not hurt to avoid them. Natural food, low sugar, low interaction with chemicals for a few weeks won't hurt. Listening to your story, it feels like I have heard similar before that get resolved with stunning swiftness when the correct solution is found. Be open to what the solution is - don't play life the same way repeatedly thinking that's all there is. Easy and cheap for me to say, but I had to anyway.

[Serotta PETE]

SANDY, we are with you.....anything we can do WE are here. I always have a bed, bike, and ear for a good friend!!! You are a good friend!

PETE

[sc53]

Sandy, to echo Bill B above, do not despair of getting well. I had a very serious encounter with depression in the 80's but the medication I eventually stumbled upon, after 8 doctors, truly helped me and I take it to this day. Yours is an atypical depression so what worked for me may not work for you. There's so much new going on in this area. I hope you see a psych who is up to date on all the current treatment options.
One thing I remember from my dark days was Dr. Grace Gabe's repeated advice to just put myself in the company of friends and/or family, or a pet, whether or not I felt like it or felt like I could do it. She said just the proximity to people I love and who loved me would help change my mood and although it was a transient change it really was true! If you can, drag yourself over to the shelter to walk those dogs. Have a friend accompany you to get you going out of the house and into the car etc. Once you're there, and in the company of the dogs you love, you will feel better, even if it's only for as long as you're there. Over time, these tiny increments of feeling better add up.
I know you know all this. But I wanted to pass Dr. Gabe's words of wisdom on, and promise you that it WILL get better.
Best wishes and prayers! We have missed you.

[Chris]

Sandy,
I'm a psychologist here in Oklahoma. I wouldn't begin to offer you specific suggestions over the internet, but if there is anything at all that I can do to help, send me a pm and I will do anything. Phone calls, referrals, whatever. We are a little family here on this board and anything I can do to help out a family member, I would be happy to.

In general though, something for you and for everyone else on this board who may experience depression one day, I would simply say this. The loss of interest in your activities is obviously one of the classic symptoms of depression. These are the things that made us happy, and when we stop participating in them we become more unhappy and more withdrawn. It becomes a vicious cycle. The less you do, the more depressed you become and the less you do. The problem is that when someone becomes depressed, they think that they will wait until they feel better and then they will start doing those things. It doesn't work that way. It's like waiting until you have the energy to start exercising. My simple piece of public advice is that you must participate in the activities that bring you joy first and then the joy will come. Act as if! Behave the way you want to feel. Obviously it isn't that simple, but it's one of the pieces. The three things that treat depression well are exercise, therapy, and medications. I ask people to work in that order. Break a sweat 4 times a week. If that doesn't help, see a therapist. Then get a referral to someone qualified to provide appropriate medical management of the symptoms. Sandy, it sounds like you are in good hands, but please don't be afraid to ask for more help. It's out there and it can make a difference.

Chris

[rePhil]

Depression is not a fun thing. Be strong, keep believing. Positive thinking and remembering the good days is a good excersize.
You will be in my prayers.

[Big Dan]

Come on Sandy, take the poor bike out for a ride.
Then do the same with the dogs.......... :p

:bike:

[Chief]

Sandy,

I have never had depression nor am I a psychologist, but I was about to offer the same advice that sc53 and Chris provided. It seems to me that recovery from any illness comes with making the first step. You have already taken the first step by acknowledging the problem and making a commitment to overcome it. I know not of what I speak, but if I were in your situation, I think I would try to get out on my bike each day if nothing more than to ride around the block. I would then get my dog and walk him around the block even if it took all of my energy and effort to do so. I would gradually increase the distance. I am reminded of a person that I have seen frequently on my rides. He obviously had suffered extreme trauma to his leg. Nevertheless, he struggled walking in the hot Texas sun while carrying his cane in one hand and an unlit cigar in the other. I know it must be extremely difficult for him, but he was making a real effort to overcome his handicap. I know that he would have liked to use that cane, but he was determined not to. I am sure that if you set your mind to it, you will also be able to do it. Is there a friend or family member who could provide moral support by making a point of meeting you on a regular schedule and getting you out of the house and onto your bike for a ride, even if it is a short one?

I sincerely wish you a speedy recovery.

[Brian Smith]

thanks for contributing.

[alembical]

Sandy,

We have never met, nor even talked, but just wanted to let you know that I hope things improve for you and that I (like many others) have always appreciated your posts, your energy and your humor. I can only imagine how much it has meant to all the dogs and their new owners too.

I don't really have much to add as I fortunately have never had to deal with this personally, but I wish you all the best. Talking to a professional and considering a change of prescriptions seems to make a lot of sense, but others can provide much more help than I can. I think having the sense to post this well thought thread is a great start. Recognizing that you need some help and then being able to call out for it is commendable... especially realizing that depression is unfortunately guaranteed to be plaguing some others of us too.

Thanks, Alembical

[coylifut]

Sandy,

I've always enjoyed your posts and wish you the very best. If I ever make it to your area of the country, maybe we could go walk those dogs together.

TK

[Jeff Weir]

Sandy,

Your point of view and your posts were always appreciated around here.
You should know that we are all with you 100%

Jeff

[goldyjackson]

Not trying to add anything but support with this, but there is a great book that I would recommend for anyone who knows anyone on medication for depression:

"Is it m or is it my meds?" by David Karp

My wife has been on medication for years, and I thought I understood her thought process about medication, but this book really opened my eyes in a number of ways, raising all sorts of important questions and explaining how effective (or not) medications can be. Karp does this by giving voice to many different people who have struggled with depression. It really changed the way I understand this stuff.

Hang in there...


On an unrelated note, this is my first post, but far from my first time looking at this forum. What a great place... I just received Tom P.'s 2001 Legend Ti, and I can't say enough about the experience. You are a great group.

[CNY rider]

Sandy, I've missed your contributions to the board recently. Now I know why you've been largely absent. You can and will get through this. Please stay active with us and try to get a little better each and every day.

[slowgoing]

Sandy –

Hang in there, buddy. Thanks for letting us all know. That was a great thing for you to do. Someone will figure this thing out for you and get you back doing the things that you love to do.

Chris –

You are one smart mofo.

[rpm]

Sandy--

I have nothing to add except my very best wishes--you've been better before and you will be again. I am impressed by the sincerity and thoughtfulness of the responses you've received from the people on the forum. These are good people and their collective feelings will give you strength.

Ron

[CSIRider]

Sandy -

There was a time when I suffered from depression routinely. Then, totally by accident, I stumbled on out door air (oxygen!), sunshine and cardio fitness; this seemed to make it all much better.

I also read comments from the chief of psychology from one of the big, Carnegie Extensive (Harvard, Yale, Duke, UVA, Virginia Commonwealth) think tanks, and he said something like "understanding AND ACTING ON factors that increase both the frequency AND the intensity of depression, actually decreases both.

That was over 20 years ago: needless to say, interval training and proper diet have served me well. (Indisputably, I get tired; but depressed? Never!)

[PBWrench]

Sandy --

Stand

Solid &

Supported &

Surrounded &

Strengthened &

Secure

in the knowledge that your friends and family will always be there for you. One step at a time into a brighter New Year.

[vaxn8r]

Sandy, just a thought, but have you consulted with a sleep specialist or participated in a sleep study? You may think you are sleeping but you may not be. If you lack restful sleep it could explain the entire chain of events you are going through. Lots of things can cause fragmented sleep such as apnea, and several movement disorders. Some people are literally awakened hundreds of times a night, never getting into the deeper phases of sleep, yet always sleepy. They feel all they do is sleep.

If you haven't done so I strongly suggest you check it out.

[dbrk]

You know, Sandy, that "courage" means literally to engage the heart, and that you have done with real integrity, honesty, and candor. With your heart engaged, your mind open to healing, and friends---human and canine!!!--- to support you, I know you will emerge an ever greater soul. It is difficult to imagine that you could become more compassionate or more gentle in character but in that way you have always set a standard we only approximate.

Take the opinions of doctors and healers and use your experience to judge the results of their prescriptions. Know that you have amongst your Serotta pals the respect and affection that comes naturally from the privilege of knowing you.

Write, ride, sing, walk, and keep our humble company : we miss when you are quiet. Take care!

dbrk

[gasman]

Sandy-
I have little to add to some very intelligent posts.

Depression is a huge problem in this country and the treatment of exercise, therapy and meds is still the best. Get thee to a good shrink and a good therapist. The psychiatrist can find a med that will work for you and a therapist (psychologist,MSW,other) can be someone for you to talk to in addition to the psychiatrist. Exercise even if it is a short walk.

I miss your posts and your gentle sense of humor.

Good luck-you are surrounded by friends here, even though you haven't met most of them.

Dave

[weisan]

http://alicehui.com/serotta/sandy_pal/ride.jpg

http://alicehui.com/serotta/sandy_pal/walk.jpg

http://alicehui.com/serotta/sandy_pal/serotta_family.jpg

[djg]

Sandy

I may have nothing to add to what you've already heard. Not all patients have equally good results across classes of antidepressants, and not all patients have equally good results within classes of antidepressants. If you are not responding adequately to your drug therapy, you should discuss that fact with your physician. If your doctor--a psychiatrist, I suppose, although it's none of my business--is unresponsive to your continued troubles, it may be time to consider a new doctor. I have no easy answers here, nor any special expertise, but I wish you well in the new year. I hope that you're able to find some equilibrium--happiness, if possible--and that you are able find enjoyment in the things, activities, and people most meaningful to you.

Dan

[Samster]

there's no easy solution based on what i know (which may be 'not much'). all options sound like tradeoffs at best, and many cures seem worse than the affliction. i hope you find your way to light.

all my best thoughts to you,

[amper]

keep up the good fight brotha. and make sure they checked your testosterone!

Sandy,

Get your Total Testosterone and your Free Testosterone checked! I’m a type II diabetic with excellent control but with very low energy levels and depression. Tests came back that my testosterone is on the very low end of normal. Been on testosterone therapy (Androgel) for a couple of weeks, and I feel so balanced. Make sure your blood work is ok. Good luck.

[Ginger]

Sandy my friend,

Many here with more knowhow than myself have given you very good advice. While you're visiting your doc and getting your script adjusted and talking to people, you still need to get out and walk those dogs!

I have a little strategy for you that worked for me when I was on antidepressants 10 years while recovering from a severe closed head injury. I really didn't care what I did or what I didn't do...but this worked to get me moving again. Create a company, and make whatever it is you used to like to do your "job."
So basically, you make an appointment with yourself each day to do the thing you enjoy. For me it had to be first thing in the morning, otherwise the day would fade into the "not doing it" and I'd get down on myself...
Make a point to keep your job by keeping that appointment with yourself and your canine customers at the shelter:


Sandy's Selective Shelter Setter Sitting!


Give Gloria and yourself a hug for me.
Positive thoughts,
Mary Ann

[DRZRM]

It's wierd how we get to know each other in this community...for most of us really without getting to know each other. I am so sorry to hear about what's going on with you.

I personally have never suffered from depression, but my partner, a woman who I love with all my heart, constantly suffers with her depression (and we have a house filled with bikes and dogs). Sometimes it's in control, sometimes not. Though nothing "works" for everyone, and giving advice to someone you've never met over the internet seems almost...I don't know, like giving someone advice to someone you've never met over the internet on how to deal with their depression, can't think a more rediculous example. That said, she has had more long term progress through a very agressive meds doctor, who is willing to try new meds, combine meds, work them in in various doses and at various times in the day. Between timing smaller doses throughout the day, and balancing different meds, she recoved a huge amount of her energy after a long period of barely being able to get out of bed. It didn't fix everything, I'm not sure there is such a thing, but having a meds doc who is willing to find the right fit can be the difference between staying on SSRIs, and not progressing to TCAs or other meds that have much more serious side effects.

Sorry to go on so long, good luck with everything. PM me if you'd like to be put in touch with her meds doc.

ZRM

[ShortRider]

Sandy,

I feel for you. I suffered from terrible depression about six years ago, when I could not get out of bed, or do anything but the bare minimum to survive. It got so bad I thought life was no longer worth living.

I saw a psychiatrist, and he did put me on medication. I was on medication for about three months, but I think the thing that really turned things around for me was that I started working out. My thought process was something like, "OK, if I'm sitting around moping at home, why not mope outside?" I took one step at a time. Out the door, walk to the end of the street, then maybe cross the street to the park... Just one step at a time.

I started running and walking outside. Then it went on to include lifting weights, and biking. I think the weight lifting really did a lot for me, for some reason, I started getting obsessed about lifting heavier and heavier weights and that took my mind off how miserable I was. After a few months of this (doing something active everyday), I was able to get off the medication, but I stepped up the work outs and I am happy to say that I did not look back after that. Now, everytime I feel down, I go out and do something.

Recently, I did get down in the dumps for no reason, so I now play racquetball every day. It has made me feel better almost immediately.

I have no idea if this would help you at all, but I just want you to know that you are definitely NOT alone. You will overcome this just like you have done it before. Just take it one step at a time, moment by moment, day by day.

[shinomaster]

YOU, (specifically) the individual, are one of the only reasons I came to enjoy this wacky ridiculous place, and made me want to come back each day many years ago. You have the biggest heart, and some of the best wit and charm and personality of any lunatic I have never met...and I will meet you one happy day!
I don't send mugs to just anyone...just ask Russ and Flydhest OOps sorry Avispa...
I know how you feel sometimes. Many a lovely day I would rather sit on my *** on my leather lounge chair and drink beer and eat chips and get fat and flatulate a foul reek while watching Starwars. And somedays I suppose I do...Sometimes that is just fine..Everyone needs a break from cycling sometimes, and life too..
Take a vacation! Life can be pretty mundane. Think about what makes you happy, and what doesn't. Maybe you can make a little change here and there? We *** clowns will be here when you feel better, and you surely will. I need a vacation too...I'll be in Boston in November if all goes well to help me lil' mum.

Much love,

Silly, sarcastic, slow, spelling impared, sleepy sad, Serotta Shino

P.S. Phoenix the dork dog says hi!!!! :banana: :banana: :banana:

[bironi]

I too miss your posts. Do find a way to do the things you love. There is a way. I hope that I may ride with you down the road, down the road.

Byron :)

[Len J]

I've fought depression for 35 years............It is part of who I am. Thankfully the downs are not quite as deep or long.....partly because I have learned to recognize my warning signs early.

Lots of good advice in this thread, I'll be somewhat redundant, but , for me, I have found that when I start into the downward spiral of depression, one of the "Navigation points" that lets me know where I am headed is that I start to withdrawl from those I care most about and the things that I most enjoy doing. If I have the strength (any many times I don't) to fight the withdrawl urge and instead immerse myself in the people & things I love, gradually I find the joy again.......it's like a movement from a black & white world to one that is filled with vibrant colors.

You have, with this post, inspired me with the clarity with which you see where you are........it's a very significant first step......good for you.

Know that while I can't go thru it for you, I am clearly there with you.......don't be afraid to reach out if there is anything I can do.

Hang in there friend.

Len

[Marco]

Blessings of Health; may you have a refuah shlama: a complete and total healing .

Invest yourself in your local community and make sure that you have this kind of group to hang with in the "real" world.

[ti_boi]

Good post....so much that could be said, only that I empathize. Try to take your time on days when you are underwater. Breathe. Settle into routines. Avoid stress. I am not a therapist, but I do care.

Sometimes toughness is difficult when 'You' are the one that needs it the most. I know. My self-discipline stinks. Potential talents that I have worked for years to build languish while empty pursuits take hours.

My once pristine body has faded into a blob that would have repelled me at one time and made me want to hang myself from the nearest rafter....yet something else happened. I just turned 40.

I made it! When I was a kid I put myself into any and every dangerous position that I could find. I lost my best friend at 15...my fault. I lost what little confidence I had. I felt completely unworthy to even walk the planet. Depression was my calling card.

My 'failures' presented themselves with every report card. High IQ and low achievement. The future looked bleak. It was. I argued my way through my teens. Wasted good time. Was a complete loser. I hated life. Loved my dog. Loved music. Walked alone most of the time. My exile though was simply a test. And in my opinion life is full of them. Eventually if you keep a modicum of faith and try...continually try....you can achieve something. You said it yourself. Cycling transformed you. Well Sandy, I think you need to climb back up on that bike. I'll join you.

Screw fear. Yeah, cars scare me. So do plane rides...but the payoff is too great. We can't forget that. Leave your worries and self loathing behind Sandy. Get back on the bike. Now. I'll be the big dude over your left shoulder...the one you dropped on that last hill ;)

[Tom]

What people said about talking to your doc about what is working and what is not working is really right. I have several close siblings that are treated for depression. Some of them are fine unless circumstances push them that way and others it makes no difference what happens, they need treatment. One has to realize that depression is not a way of thinking, it's that our brain is built a certain way and that's how it works. You do need to find the right combination of medicine that will restore the chemical balance and allow you to have the energy and enjoyment of life again. I was surprised to read the posts that talked about testosterone but that's really not that odd. It's all a chemical balance and if something's out of balance it can throw the whole thing out of whack.

I guess what I'm saying is that you really are a smart person because even though you're caught in it you are able to look at it very clearly and that's why you are going to be able to tell your doc what your doc needs to know.

[William]

Sandy,

There isn't much more I can add here. You've been given some great advice by some very knowledgeable people as well as folks who have had similar Issues. Just know that we are all thinking of you and pulling for you every minute of the day. You are one of the people that makes this place so special. I've had the pleasure of meeting you in person and hope to get together with you again at another gathering in the near future.


Stay strong and do what you need to do. Rhea Basset sends you a big, wet, sloppy, Basset kiss <XOXOX>!!!

BaaWoo!!!
BaaWoo!!!



William

[Ray]

Sandy,

No advice to add - it's all been said waaaay better than I could say it. EXCEPT - if you don't feel like suiting up and taking a big bike ride and worrying about getting faster, just get yourself a funky old hybrid or mountain bike, put a basket on it, and ride to the store for something every day. Just anything to get out in the world. Or do it on foot. Just TRY TRY TRY to keep moving however you can.

But mainly I just want to add one more voice to let you know you're missed, we're thinking about you, we're pulling for you. Millie (cockapoo) and I miss you here - yeah, she reads the forum every day looking for your posts. You've taken a first key step toward recovery. PLEASE keep at it! Then we'll see you soon.

-Ray

[keno]

sorry to hear of your travails. It must have been in the air as I posted a thread yesterday I think that you, in particular, may appreciate. I have sent you a PM with some other thoughts. I hope you take a look.

Best for better times in the new year,

keno

[znfdl]

Sandy:

Wishing you the best and hope you overcome the depression battle. I have been battling depression for the last 20 years and understand what you are going through. If you are looking for a person to do an easy weekend ride, drop me a PM and we will see what we can do.

Stuart

[Johnnyg]

Sandy I have never met you but feel I know you through all your wonderful posts on this forum. As Lance would say, "live strong" and know we are all with you want to see you through this tough battle. Please try to get on your bike as much as possible and know we all love you! JohnnyG

[93legendti]

Sandy, I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling 100%.

Phillip Maffetone talks about the connection between diet and depression. I can fax you some of his writings on the topic if you are interested.

Sandy, feel better. Do something nice for yourself today.

[steelisreal]

For the past seven years I have been participating in a weekly meeting of group called Recovery, Inc. http://www.recovery-inc.org/ The organization is worldwide and the website shows meeting locations. There is probably one in your area.

[OldDog]

Sandy,

Funny this post comes up, as just a few days ago I was lurking here and thought "I wonder where that Sandy dude got to". You are a staple to this forum, your wit and gentle demeaner makes this a pleasurable place to come to. I and many others miss your presence. You recognize your issue and are taking steps to deal with it. By opening your heart to us, I would think you are almost where you need to be. Pack a tuna sandwich and go for a long ride, secure in the knowledge your extended family here deeply cares for you and your well being. Take care, be well and God bless.

OD

[Johny]

Sandy,

It's time to get two MeiVici's for Kevan and you. We love you.

John

[zap]

Sandy, Zip and I hope you get your spunk back soon.

As you know, physical activity can do wonders for the body and mind. Sometimes one has to put forth the extra mental effort to get out and just do something. The change of season might be what you need to get back into cycling or some other physical activity. Change in cycling venue and effort level might help. I have this mtb that you could use and I can show you some easy, sweet trails and hang with the deer. Also, the C&O tow path has some neat places to watch Heron's fish and watch Bald Eagles swoop down and catch prey.

[velodadi]

Sandy,

I went through the same thing you are presently struggling with. I had to "experiment" with three different drug therapies before I overcame that listless fatigued feeling. I was in denial on the whole depression thing until I found out my 3 siblings were dealing with the same issue (I am the oldest of 4).

You are truly on the right track with your cycling, your dogs, and your family. Cycling provides the "endorphins" therapy. A dog ( like my dog "Puck") is a priceless companion who provides empathy. And a patient loving family will get you through anything.

And, we are here- you CAN beat this! Cycling provides a metaphor for the journey you are on, with the thrills, the hills, the hard days and the great days. It is your "Tour."

T

[Frog Hair]

One of my dearest friends has been fighting similar circumstances for about 5 years now. His is deemed an imbalance of ceretonen (sp). He simply could not turn off his rage or intensity valve. If things did not go perfect, it was rough. The highs and the lows were brutal. Unfortunately he did not subscribe much to exercise. He is "naturally" fit, or was. Always at around 145lbs, built like a runner and could generally do what he wanted physically (long hikes, etc. but NEVER trained or intentionally "worked out.") In the last 5 years of treatment they have given him so many variations of rat poison (he kept developing an imunity to each drug) that it has dulled him to a constant slurred speach and he tips the scales at around 230lbs now.
He is just now starting to experiment with exercise and outdoor activity as a solution. Building up his walking regimine and more than any of the dope they have given him, this seems to be helping him find some balance, loose some weight and find some stability. Don't underestimate the bodies power to heal by exercise. Ride, walk, just move. And keep your friends close by!

[sspielman]

Your posts here have been missed. As you can see, you will find alot of support within the cycling community. I have noticed for years how many cyclists battle depression. I believe maybe they gravitate toward the activity because it is such good therapy for it for a number of reasons.

[Serpico]

...

As you know, physical activity can do wonders for the body and mind. Sometimes one has to put forth the extra mental effort to get out and just do something. The change of season might be what you need to get back into cycling or some other physical activity. Change in cycling venue and effort level might help.

...

yup, the bike does so much for my attitude, energy level, sleep quality, etc.

whenever I'm stressed out at work it usually means I didn't ride the night before, rather than something actually at work.

get better Sandy, go outside, exercise (even walking will do wonders) and stay in touch with your serotta pals. everyone is rooting for you, this place isn't the same since you've cut back your posts.

-Jason

[bcm119]

Sandman-
I was also wondering where you've been. In addition to all the other good advice here, I'll mention one more thing. I know I sometimes get depressed by "routine". Something about doing the same things, seeing the same people, even riding my bike in the same place everyday can depress me. You should do some traveling- like real world traveling, not a caribbean vacation- and see how it affects your perspective. Make a big change, turn over a new leaf, etc. You might come home and see your suburban maryland routine in a new light.

Good luck Sandy, we all hope you return to your silly sandy self soon.

[Skrawny]

I, too, have missed your posts.
It is obvious you are well loved on this site.
Thank you for reaching out to us. As you know, this community has a variety of learned and intelligent people who would lend you a hand at a moments notice.
It is a tough time you are going thorough. Hang in there and know we are here for you.

-s

[bostondrunk]

sandy, you can hang with the drunk and drink some beers anytime :beer:
We'll get Will's Rhea Basset all tanked up and go party. :D
hang in there big guy.

[BumbleBeeDave]

I just found this thread and wish I had found it much earlier. You are a very special person to so many of us and my heart aches for you.

Here are a few suggestions that hopefully will help . . .

Don't be afraid to keep seeking out different medical opinions. You may think you've already seen every doctor there is, but I assure you that you have not. Do some research on the Internet or elsewhere and look for the foremost authorities in your area on atypical depression and TALK TO THEM.

Seek out any depression support groups in your area and JOIN ONE.

While it may be really hard to force yourself to exercise, remember that exercise itself releases chemicals in your body that are antidepressants.

Get an exercise partner! Someone who you can rely on to come banging on your door and not let you welsh out of getting out and doing it! I have talked to many people at my gym who have found this to be the secret to reliably getting out and exercising. For many people it's much easier to motivate yourself when you know someone is counting on you to be there for them and if you don't show they'll be left there waiting.

As far as the fatigue . . . Have you checked with your doctor about sleep apnea, as vaxn8r suggests? You can have it without even knowing it . . .

Also don't discount the possibility of an allergic reaction to something in your life--a substance in your home, etc. With me it turned out I've developed an allergy to either the perfume or the dye in laundry detergent. I have to use hypoallergenic detergent or else I get an awful rash.

As Bill says, DON'T GIVE UP! You can lick this! We love you!

BBD

[crf]

Sandy, thanks for this posting; I know it took some courage.

I've also been undermined by depression and tiredness (which is the cause and which is the effect?) for well over ten years. Meds have helped, but there seems to be a honeymoon phase with each, so that aftewards their effects tend to plateau (or decrease) and you either need to step up the dose or switch to something else. But in general meds can be very helpful. Much like some of the other commenters, the exact cause of my problems hasn't been puzzled out by the doctors (both conventional and alternative have been on the case). I definitely think that the (polluted) environment is a major cause of society's health issues -- I really don't think we're just a more hypersensitive generation than what's come before. But I'd be curious if Hippocrates (et.al.) wrote of similar, undetermined maladies eons ago.

I've been far worse than you with the bike recently, but I hope to improve things with some degree of regimented exercise (tasks are always unattractive, even if upside far outweighs the drawbacks). I've decided to take up Yoga so that the exercise is part and parcel of something more important. A palliative of sorts.

40 beats a minute, eh? Well, you definitely have a *strong* heart!

[cpg]

Sandy,

Thank you for sharing this. I have someone very dear to me that suffers with depression. For her, just knowing people love her makes a difference. Sandy, I'm sure you're loved dearly by your family and friends. Lean on them. They want to help but don't always know how. As others have said, check into the whole sleep apnea (spelling?) thing. It's very common in men that are 20+ pounds overweight. A lack of sleep really makes things harder. Good luck. You will make it through this journey.

Curt

[Ken Robb]

I get into that I'm tired so I won't ride/I'm tired because I didn't ride syndrome too. I try to follow one of Grant Petersen's suggestions of going out for no more than a 15-20 minute ride in regular clothes once in awhile. That avoids the feeling that getting dressed up and going for a "real" ride is too much trouble and making yourself quit when you are still fresh and eager for more will make you want to ride more soon.

Obviously this is a simplistic potential solution to only part of your situation but it can't hurt and it's free.

Stay in touch with your pals.

[Ottrott]

Sandy,

You have made many of us laugh - think - and enjoy life a little more - all because you've shared of yourself.

I have had bouts of depression - and think many here have given some great advice - get outside - go through the motions if you have to - keep up the training - hope you'll feel better soon.

Know that you're not alone - that there are others who know a bit of what you're going through - and what you learn about getting through this will help you help others.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

[CarbonCycles]

Finally acknowledged how much of an positive influence you are to this forum. I recall your first posts from the "original" Serotta forum before the trolls took over. :fight: Talk about really dating ourselves here ah? ;)

I'm really sorry to hear that you're fighting with this cripling disease that I also have first hand knowledge of. If it weren't for cycling, I probably wouldn't be here today in all honesty. I went through a very dark time in my life where nothing mattered except the idea of dying, and unfortunately for me, I had no support network around me. Then one day, I had a guy from work introduce me to this strange thing called road biking which I immediately dismissed for sissy guys riding around in spandex unlike the macho rugged mountain bikers. Needless to say, I bought my first Fuji aluminum POS and road that thing until the frame started to fail from fatigue. I still recall the days when the only mantra running through my head was "breathe and one more pedal stroke".

Through cycling I found a great network of friends, a natural way for me to unwind after a stressful event and the ability to enjoy the things given to us. Even today I find that cycling is saving my life. As I've alluded to in previous posts, I was in a pretty bad cycling accident where I damaged my hip/SI-joint to the point where after a year I can walk but with some pain. As one of my forms of therapy, my therapist and I have found that cycling is a great way for me to strengthen and recover my motion even though I may be the slowest and uncoordinated "Fred" on the road.

Basically Sandy, what I'm trying to say is that I think that I understand where you are coming from and just remember to BREATHE and keep putting one pedal in front of the other! If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask.

Rob

[m_moses]

Hi Sandy,
You don't know me but I've been a regular reader here for about three years and feel like I know you. (I know, I know . . . being a lurker is kind of weird.)

Your post is a classic example of why I keep coming back. There is so much useful (and well, some not so useful) information shared in this community. Yeah, lots of cr*p about bikes but other things, important things that many of us struggle with also. I appreciate your many contributions and Godspeed on a full recovery.

[LONE RIDER]

Hang in there Sandy. I went through a life changing event that threw me into a depression that took me 8 years to climb out of. I am convinced now that the initial event altered my body chemistry so drastically that my body could not, by its natural self, correct. Unfortunately I took the macho “I don’t need help” approach and tried to will myself to better psychological health. Like you, the things I clinged onto were my dog, Tyler, and biking. Getting through the day sometimes was only so I could feed and play with Tyler, I owed him that. Biking was more difficult but I had this one truth: I never ended a ride wishing I had never started. I was always in a better mood but it was still hard to get motivated to get out there.

I don’t think the feelings and emotions you go through in a depression can be adequately explained to someone that has never been there. To those people – you want to help but “just snap out of it” doesn’t do it. Life becomes colorless, flat, nothing brings you joy, you do not look forward to anything including all of the things that used to bring you such joy and knowing this makes the pain greater. It is a dark place.

Eventually I came to this conclusion: our bodies are incredibly complicated chemical factories and people that are “happy” do not have some fantastic power to will themselves this way, nor do they possess such a strong constitution and psychological health that they can overcome any obstacle thrown in their way. They just have the chemistry that allows them to experience happiness. So to me, happiness and all that goes with it is a chemical event. Once I got my thick head around this idea I decided to seek medical help so I could have the same chemical composition as my happy acquaintances. I am now taking Lexapro and have interests and desires and anticipate the future. I lost eight prime years of my life, ages 40 to 48; I was incredibly weak to have allowed this to happen but I gain strength knowing I got my life back.

It can be better; please keep trying different meds until you find the one right for you.

[Bud_E]

Hi Sandy,
You don't know me but I've been a regular reader here for about three years and feel like I know you. (I know, I know . . . being a lurker is kind of weird.)

Your post is a classic example of why I keep coming back. There is so much useful (and well, some not so useful) information shared in this community. Yeah, lots of cr*p about bikes but other things, important things that many of us struggle with also. I appreciate your many contributions and Godspeed on a full recovery.

+1 over here. Many better days are ahead.

[amg]

Hang in there, Sandy, you've got to fight this thing! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Antonio

[molly22]

hi sandy,

i moved to texas far from my beloved yankee roots. it was a very hard time for me. i stopped riding. i stopped running. i wouldn't walk the dogs because it was too hot or something. i finally started seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist who prescibed meds and even if i don't necessarily feel better right now, i have hope.

we are all unique, but my symtoms are similar to yours.

i finally rode my bike today and it was nice to be back out. i didn't go far and i didn't go fast, but i did go. that was a good thing for me. a walk around the block can help.

for now, maybe a joke will be a momentary distraction. and it's not even a very good joke and it's old, but it has a parrot and a dog.


DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to
go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under
the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail
you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you.
But,
whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I
REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he
discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just
as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman
go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant
yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain
himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

[Rapid Tourist]

Sandy, please know that your are very much cared about and that many, many people are hoping you resolve your health issues. We should go for a ride sometime soon. I'll pm you.

[GoJavs]

Sandy - by now I guess you can tell you are not alone. Most of us I believe have faced episodes of depression. For me, when I get down, I try to break my routine. Take a left instead of the right. Take a different route to work. Take a day for yourself and go do something for yourself. Heck, it could be as simple as a haircut, some clothes, a couple of new CDs, a stroll thru your old college campus. Who knows?

Take the break. You've earned it.

Hang the bike for a couple of days. The bike doesn't make the man. The man makes the man. :)

[catulle]

Now that we are telling jokes, I had a good friend who used to be my hunting partner, and he used to get the blues every so often. One day, after a good day of wingshooting, we were drinking beer on the sidewalk of a tiny and dusty town in Ecuador, and totally out of the context of the conversation we were having he said: You know, I've come to the conclusion that if I won the lottery my blues would be gone forever. And we both rolled with laughter for a long time.

Oh, well... just saying, atmo. :beer:

[GoJavs]

By the way....if a couple of days break doesn't do it, try a few more days or a few more things. I wish I could keep track of how many times I switched the hand that I wear my watch.... :)

I just came back from my first trip ever to the Pacific Northwest. It was business but I had the luxury to go spend 20 minutes with esteemed forum member Sacha White...that was a lot of fun and it completely made me forget that the biggest target customer on that trip basically blew us off!!! :crap:

[Sandy]

The Serotta Forum is genuinely special. I had refrained initially from even starting this thread, and was not really seeking a bunch of responses. But true to the inner character of the group that frequents this special place, the overwhelming kindness, compassion, sharing, and sensitivity, flowed in its normal caring manner. I genuinely appreciate the simply wonderful thoughts, suggestions, and personal experiences posted in this thread.

The power of the goodness and kindness of this forum certainly seems to be helping. I went out and rode 18 miles in my neighborhood and plan to ride again tomorrow. I even started a diet (again) and will try to project some reasonable goals.

I am almost embarrassed by the attention that this thread has received. I am very much aware that my problems with fatigue/depression are almost insignificant compared to how some people suffer from this illness.

Bless you all! Really! If I can ever be of help to any of you, please ask.



Sandy

[Skrawny]

:beer:
-s

[shinomaster]

We love you because you have the very best of hearts. IMHO. :beer:

[soulspinner]

Lost my bro(only sibling) to depression(read suicide) in 1989. It runs in my family. Just yesterday it was beautiful in upstate N.Y. and I felt like doing nothing. Got myself on the bike by telling myself I didnt need to ride far. I ended up having a great ride. Take little babysteps(ala Bob) and pat yourself on the bike, I mean back, every time you do anything positive. Keep telling yourself you will feel better again. Get through the dark tunnel and into a brighter place, you can do it ... pm me if you want anytime but tell me you are doing so through the forum as I dont check frequently.

[39cross]

Sandy, to paraphrase Lucy Van Pelt in a Charlie Brown Christmas, the fact that you have sought help from this group means you're not too far gone. :-)

I love reading your posts. Hang in there, have fun riding. Lot of love in this forum for you. Things will turn around for the better.

[BumbleBeeDave]

It doesn't matter how far you ride or how fast. It only matters that you DO ride and so start riding down the road to recovery.

We love you and care about you.

BBD

[Ginger]

Sandy,
I'm glad to hear that you got out on your bike, and I look forward to hearing your next ride report as well!

Mary Ann

[weisan]

I went out and rode 18 miles in my neighborhood and plan to ride again tomorrow.

That's FUN-tastic! Keep at it, Sandy-pal.

[champlemon]

Sandy...

You have conquered the worst part already... you've moved on from denial... I should know... I spent a lifetime in denial and on the last big episode, it almost cost me my marriage. You also have an amazing level of awareness about your depression, which will help you in the long run. Even before my denial periods I went through long periods of being unaware. I just thought that this was the way I was and everybody else was wrong, while I was an angry SOB, in addition to not caring about anything or anybody.

By taking this "skeleton" out of the closet, you have taken some of the power away from it. Now, you just got to be vigilant. Sharing it with us was an amazing thing to do. When I shared it with my community, I felt such freedom, because it was no longer a dark little secret. Plus, without knowing it helped some of the people around me to figure out that they also needed help.

Medication has definitely worked for me, at least to get rid of the worst symptoms. When things get bad, I go see my psychologist and vent out. It always helps put things in perspective, because depression distorts reality. Exercise also helps, although lately I've been struggling with weight gain and lack of energy. For me, it's turned out to be a chronic condition, which I always have to fight.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, as I go through my own daily struggles.

Take care,

Frank Gonzalez

[beungood]

Sandy like we say on the job, UNA STAMUS, We stand as one.

[Graeme]

As a frequent lurker I have been more than once totally overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness compassion and generosity of the community here, never more so than in this thread. I have been following the replies since your first post Sandy and was tempted to contribute on more than one occassion but being the good lurker I am have let the moment pass.

This morning I learnt that a good sailing buddy took his life over the weekend having suffered quietly within himself over the years with depression leaving loving family and friends to despair over how we could have supported him had he been able to reach out for us.

Re-reading these posts in light of todays news has given me new humility.

Sandy, your courage in allowing us into your world is inspiring. You will never be alone while you have this community to support you.

[soulspinner]

Having lost one so dearly the same way I hope you take care of yourself now. So very very sorry...

[Kevin]

Sandy,

Even though we have never met, I know that you are a very special person. I have a very close family member who suffers from anxiety/depression. In her case it is a chemical imbalance and her medication levels are frequently adjusted. So if you are not seeing any improvement, keep in touch with your doctors and let them know what is going on. You may discover that you need a medication adjustment. If there is anythng I can do, let me know. :beer:

Kevin

[Kevan]

I feel horrible; this is the first time I’ve seen this thread. Business travel last week, without access to a computer, kept me in the dark. Anyway, seeing as how we’ve been so... umm, well, intimate… I should have known and, well, been there sooner to offer you my support and encouragement.

In fact, I have noticed the lapse in our posting spars and I really do miss them (I hope others do too.). I suppose I just figured you had grown tired of our innuendos and wanted to move on to new topics. Maybe it was... you found BBD more attractive than me. I didn’t know and I didn’t want to press if you wanted to move on.

What a miserable monster depression is. Those of us free from it can’t totally appreciate its gravity, but we are becoming more aware. I have a good friend who has bouts of despair and all I can do is send her an email hoping that some stupid little joke sent her way will bring some sunshine to her moments of virtual gloom. It’s horrible that even the simple wonders of life, like a bike ride, have to be mared for any individual, and I feel for you who suffer this condition.

Please! Please! Please! Come back. I promise that I won’t tattle to the others if you go chasing virgins in the woods again. Alright, alright! I’ll even tolerate it, if you insist, your calling me...

Your,

Sweet pea

(This isn’t going to be easy for me.)

[BumbleBeeDave]

. . . there's enough of him for BOTH of us! :rolleyes:

BBD

[Ginger]

Not for long Dave, he started his diet. Soon he'll be

Svelte Serotta Sandy!

[dekindy]

In 1987 at age 29 I had my first problem with depression. I picked a psychologist out of the telephone book. He worked out of his home and did a great job of having me analyze my thoughts and determine what was causing me to feel the way that I did. In a couple of months I was feeling great and did a lot more reading on cognitive reasoning. I had the best 4 years of my life and was virtually depression and anxiety free.

In 1991 I had another episode and was diagnosed with major, recurrent depression. The final straw was when I quit riding my bike and exercising. I was hospitalized for 10 days. No amount of cognitive reasoning or therapy helped at all. It was physical. It was also determined that sleep aggravated my depression which explained why I felt better at the end of the day. If my wife left town I would be staying up until 2:00 in the morning because that was when i felt the best. I was more depressed on Mondays because I had taken naps on the weekend.

It took medication to snap me out of it and I continue medication to prevent another episode. My doctor says that will my history I am highly likely to have future episodes if I don't take medication.

It took several years for me to start feeling good again. There is no explaining it. In 1995 when our son was born and suffered from seizures and autism and I was under the most stress in my life, for about six months I could tell every morning that I felt better than the day before. God's grace is the only explanation that I have.

Today I no longer think about depression or feel that it will be a factor in my life because I am doing so well. The biggest comfort was knowing that suicide was a long term solution to a short term problem. Once I knew what was wrong and that the episodes would go away with the passage of time, it was much easier to get through them. I did not want to die, but I also did not want to live if I was going to feel that way for the rest of my life.

You are at a critical time. Try therapy and medication until you get better. Doing something with your hands is the absolute best therapy. They do basket weaving because it works! That activity is very soothing and those sessions helped me a lot when I was in the hospital.

Best of luck and hang in there!

[andy mac]

sure fire cure for depression - reach for the riser stem, shimano gear and black socks.

woof woof,

:beer:

andy.

[stevep]

sandy,
you should take a road trip...and visit some of the wonderful friends from this group.
hang in there, this too will pass.

[ClutchCargo]

I hope the support of this forum and all your friends has helped. I have no personal experiences with the problems that you mentioned and you have received much good advice from the folks on this forum, but I want to say how much I've enjoyed your good natured and kind posts and to express "best wishes" to you. Remember the good friends you have here and at home. I think you did right by mentioning your issues; seek appropriate treatment and allow your friends to help you along the way. You'll be back to your old good self before you know it. (Use your dog of the week for inspiration: "happy, alert, energetic" :) )


All the best.


Ride on!

[JonnyComeLately]

Hang in there, Sandy. We're pulling for you.

[MartyE]

Sandy,

I worked in the Psych doing ER assesments for 10+ years and alot of what you
are describing sounds like a few cases where the cause was mytrial valve prolapse. I'm not saying that this is what's the root of what you're going through
but its something to think about and maybe discuss with your doctors.
All I can say is hang in there and know that you've got alot of support here.

Marty

[ti_boi]

Sandy,

I worked in the Psych doing ER assesments for 10+ years and alot of what you
are describing sounds like a few cases where the cause was mytrial valve prolapse. I'm not saying that this is what's the root of what you're going through
but its something to think about and maybe discuss with your doctors.
All I can say is hang in there and know that you've got alot of support here.

Marty


The hero of Confederacy of Dunces had some problems with his 'valve'....perhaps..... ;)

[Sandy]

It's been 3 months since I have been on my bike or have done any exercise. I used to "live" here on the Serotta forum, but I find myself visiting it much less often. I no longer look at myself as being a cyclist, at least for now.

Just wanted to drop by and tell you all that I miss this place and miss sharing rides with you.

Enjoy SAFE cycling this year! Hope to be joining you soon!


Sandy

[Kevin]

Sandy,

Hang in there. Your spirit continues through this forum. If there is anything I can do, drop me a note.

Kevin

[djg]

Sandy

It's a beautiful day. Blue skies and sunshine. Pump up the tires and ride down the block. Wear sneaks if you want. Feel the thing roll a bit and feel the sun on your face and see how it goes.

All the best in any case.

[Serpico]

.
click here (http://www.funpic.hu/en.gallery.php?id=4&s=dd&p=1)
.

[Steelhead]

I can relate - and I know from personal experience that if you will make yourself, and I mean MAKE YOURSELF pull on those shorts, helmet and shoes and go ride that bike. I promise it will help, even if it is just around the block a few times. And don't drink. Send me a PM if you want to talk to someone. :)

[FierteTi52]

Sandy,
Great that you are still checking in on the forum. Now with spring arriving, it's the perfect time to get out on the bike. Think back at what biking did for your well being in the past and give it another shot. Sounds to me as you have many friends in your area to ride with, so get out and do it.
Good luck,
Jeff

[mjb266]

Riding around town is where it's at. No bike shorts, jerseys, shoes, etc. Just hop on and go for a capuccino, hot chocolate, etc. The plants and the animals are coming out for spring and each one is starting over again. Sounds like you are in a similar spot and I agree that after a while off I don't feel like a cyclist. What I do like is starting over with destination rides. Early season rides should always have a destination be it a bike shop, a coffee shop, a book store, or a buddy's house. If you have a mountain bike jump on that..if not just don't forget to put on a pants clip or to tuck your pants cuff into your sock to keep them away from the chainring.

Good luck and if you want the coffee's on me. I'll even arrange for four fourmites to meet you there.

[Serotta PETE]

Sandy, I want to ride with you no matter what the distance or speed. Miss your company and friendship..........

PETE

It's been 3 months since I have been on my bike or have done any exercise. I used to "live" here on the Serotta forum, but I find myself visiting it much less often. I no longer look at myself as being a cyclist, at least for now.

Just wanted to drop by and tell you all that I miss this place and miss sharing rides with you.

Enjoy SAFE cycling this year! Hope to be joining you soon!


Sandy

[dbrk]

Sandy, I want to ride with you no matter what the distance or speed. Miss your company and friendship..........

PETE

I'm with you guys. Let's ride, talk dogs and friendship, and carry on the conversation in each other's company. Sandypal, good luck and check in with your pal Douglas soon, you never need a reason. Sorely Missed Sandy.

dbrk

[Ray]

You have a couple of really really nice high performance bikes that just beg to be ridden hard. And aren't really terribly at home NOT riding hard. But you don't need to be riding hard right now. You just need to start riding, as everyone is telling you. So go spend $400 on a cheap hybrid with a sit up and beg position and a rack. And start going out in the morning for a newspaper, loaf of bread, quart of milk, cuppa joe, whatever. Go easy - make it a point not to go more than 10 miles per hour unless your going downhill. Stop to talk to neighbors you see on the street. Wear your street clothes. Or pajamas for that matter. Don't make a big deal of it - just do it. All of this would feel vaguely stupid on an Ottrot, so get something designed for this kind of riding. The rest will follow, including harder rides on the Ottrot when you feel like it. But you gotta take the first small steps before you're gonna want to get back on the fancy bikes and start playing 'cyclist' again. You've heard it all before. Just start doing it.

And keep stopping by the forum. I'm a slug these days too, but hanging out here keeps reminding me how much I need and want to ride.

-Ray

[lemondsteel]

hi Sandy!

I also suffer from depression. I have had communication from time to time with Keno about it and he knows of my bout with blood clots in the lungs that should have killed me. I am fortunate. In the las 18 months I have had my gall bladdrer removed, hernia repaired, tumors from my hand removed, shingles of the eye and then the blood clots. I think back and realized I had been depressed for maybe 20 years and it really started after being a victim of hit and run while on the bike. The sever depression started after the blood clots. It took some time to self diagnose but I eventually went to the doc and and explained my moods and lack of drive. I then set down with my family and explained to them what I was going through and how I had denial of the condition. I went to my boss and co-workers and told them. I was put on Lexapro and found that after about 3 weeks I didn't feel as though I was falling into the deep hole each day. My aggression was controlled and I generally feel pretty good. I often talk to anyone about it if the subject comes up. I found the best medicine for me was to be totally open to everyone about my depression and taking medication. I want the world to know that it can happen to anyone at any time. I was lucky that my release was my exercise and the bike. I don't know if the medication will be lon term or temporary. I do know that talking about it and exercise helps me a great deal. I wish you luck and feel free to PM anytime. Joe S