OT: Bici Vanitati

[Freddy Merckx]

I lust over the feeling of unity and acceptance with a bicycle. A machine built to my specifications that simply disappears under my conscious. It's geometries and proportions set to a position that focuses my attention solely on the output and form of my body. A machine that's beauty doesn't snatch my attention away from the nature around me, yet holds an aethetic I can be proud of.

I look at my ever evolving bike stable many times a day, and wonder why I haven't found that. Back when I first started cycling this feeling was abundant and easy. Now it feels like I'm searching for a high I used to get, but my knowledge fueled tolerance won't let me reach it.

I've jumped across many spectrums of cycling trying to find that nirvana. Without boasting I can confidently say that I have explored cycling in many of its depths, and don't speak from a novice perspective. This makes the want and need for that mechanical connection even stronger.

My hopes, I suppose, are to see if any of you similar minded folks have experienced this. How that input will effect my struggle I'm unsure.

But, as a doomed group bound for future mechanical torment perhaps there will be some reprieve to our mutual understanding.

I might be done with cycling at this point. The capital my second hand stable will generate is possibly more valuable than the experiences they produce, and the physical/mental space they demand.

[Steve in SLO]

When you started off cycling, it was a probably a simple, liberating experience with fairly low expectations of yourself and your bike.
As your experience and knowledge base have grown, you expect more of both. Those incremental goals/ expectations/desires become harder to achieve when you go deep into the rabbit hole, which is where it sounds like you are.
I followed a similar path, although my mental anguish sounds much less involved than yours (I don't anguish much). My solution was to unplug from the cycle computer, ride more alone, pay less attention to what bike/tires/air pressure I am riding, ride only when I want to, ditch the obcessive guilt, and and enjoy the ride. I also find that I am riding my simple, vintage steeds much more than I was a few years ago.
Good luck in your journey.

[mhespenheide]

Pick one bike. The one that speaks to you. The one that resonates. Not the ones that you think you should like, or the ones that a magazine or website or instagram account told you that you should like, or even the ones that your riding buddies like.

Pick one bike.

Put the others aside. In storage, if possible.

Take that one bike to a mechanic you trust, and get it dialed. No lingering minor issues; dialed. Get a nice-enough set of tires, but don't worry about whether they're Vittoria or Conti's or something else. Grab some spare tubes. Put away the Garmin, turn off strava, put your phone on airplane mode.


Now go ride. Long rides if you have time, short rides if that's all the time you have, don't ride if you're burned out. Just ride. Ride your favorite routes, and try some new ones if possible. Drive halfway out a common loop and take a different turn; explore. Stop worrying about the bike, or about finding the last nth bit to get a build dialed. Keep your chain lubed, check the tires, and after that just ride.

Keep riding for a couple of months. Take time off from Paceline, if that helps. Just ride.

[mhespenheide]

As an aside, one of my other hobbies is photography.

There's a big difference between being a photographer and collecting cameras and lenses, but that difference is not always obvious when you're hanging out online.

But, to continue this analogy: the more I'm out photographing, the less I obsess over my camera gear.


I think we can all shoot ourselves in the foot chasing new bikes and obsessing over new wheels, the latest drivetrains, and whatnot. When I owned a house with a full-size basement and had some excess income and discovered the Paceline classifieds and craigslist, my stable ballooned to seven road bikes, two cross bikes, and two mountain bikes. But soon, all of them had one or two things wrong with them. So I spent far too much time working on all of those bikes, and not enough time riding. Compound that with the inability (obviously) to ride while at work... while it is possible to read Paceline, bikerumor, redkiteprayer, The Radavist, etc. while at work... and I spent far more time obsessing over bikes than riding them. As I've downsized to three road bikes, one mountain bike, and one town bike, I'm riding more. And enjoying it more. But now that I've built up a new frame that's close to my other bike (but not quite), I'm having to tweak it and obsess over it. Hopefully, I can get it dialed soon. And get down to riding it.

[paredown]

As an aside, one of my other hobbies is photography.

There's a big difference between being a photographer and collecting cameras and lenses, but that difference is not always obvious when you're hanging out online.

But, to continue this analogy: the more I'm out photographing, the less I obsess over my camera gear.


I think we can all shoot ourselves in the foot chasing new bikes and obsessing over new wheels, the latest drivetrains, and whatnot. When I owned a house with a full-size basement and had some excess income and discovered the Paceline classifieds and craigslist, my stable ballooned to seven road bikes, two cross bikes, and two mountain bikes. But soon, all of them had one or two things wrong with them. So I spent far too much time working on all of those bikes, and not enough time riding. Compound that with the inability (obviously) to ride while at work... while it is possible to read Paceline, bikerumor, redkiteprayer, The Radavist, etc. while at work... and I spent far more time obsessing over bikes than riding them. As I've downsized to three road bikes, one mountain bike, and one town bike, I'm riding more. And enjoying it more. But now that I've built up a new frame that's close to my other bike (but not quite), I'm having to tweak it and obsess over it. Hopefully, I can get it dialed soon. And get down to riding it.

Apt analogy--there is the same payoff in photography as in cycling when you get the right gear (to a point). And I think both pursuits appeal to the detail oriented, technical side of our nature--a kind of mastery is the goal.

I remember an article from way, way back when I was still trying to produce consistent and pleasing results with a camera--'Your first 1000 pictures' and the advice was similar to 'go ride'--it was 'go take pictures--a lot of them'. Back when film was expensive, this seemed wasteful somehow, but I made a stab at it. And it kind of unblocked me.

So, yeah, all the advice so far is spot on. If you can't get rolling locally, I'd recommend going on a supported tour somewhere. It really is the equivalent of the '1000 pictures'--get up every day and ride. There's a simplicity to it that clears the mind...