OT: please be careful….

[Tony T]

Yesterday I went to a Christmas party. I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails, followed by a few shots...
I still had the sense to know that l was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home.
Sure enough, there was a police road block on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.

[54ny77]

i nominate this as the most asinine post of the year.



Yesterday I went to a Christmas party. I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails, followed by a few shots...
I still had the sense to know that l was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home.
Sure enough, there was a police road block on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.

[MRB]

:)

[gasman]

i nominate this as the most asinine post of the year.

It's an old joke. I laughed even though I've heard it many times it still sucked me in. :rolleyes:

[2wheelwill]

i nominate this as the most asinine post of the year.



I second that


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[dave thompson]

Maybe a little lengua en mejilla?

[gasman]

It's a joke !!!!!!!

[54ny77]

didn't know that. guess i don't get around much.

nonetheless, a stupid joke.

It's an old joke. I laughed even though I've heard it many times it still sucked me in. :rolleyes:

[Tony T]

didn't know that. guess i don't get around much.

nonetheless, a stupid joke.

It's only a stupid joke if it sucked you in :)
(it sucked me in, but I got a laugh out of it)

[Cicli]

Thats funny.

For the rest of you.

[Seramount]

didn't know that. guess i don't get around much.

nonetheless, a stupid joke.

you're such a ray of sunshine...keep up the cheery comments.

[unterhausen]

I laughed.

But take a cab, people.

[fuzzalow]

A joke, from a different time and reflecting a different mentality. The jist being "I was so effed up and HAha I drove a car!". The madcap of a drunk driving a car isn't funny except around other irresponsible drunks.

Sheesh, this is a joke that needed the be delivered by the drunk Dean Martin during the hard-drinkin' Sinatra Rat Pack era, and even then it wasn't funny, it was sad.

In a bike forum with folks that risk getting killed riding a effing bike, perhaps from a drunk man, or drunk bishop, or someone - this is no laughing matter.

This is a stupid joke. I didn't laugh 'cos I knew the punch line that was coming.

[nesteel]

A joke, from a different time and reflecting a different mentality. The jist being "I was so effed up and HAha I drove a car!". The madcap of a drunk driving a car isn't funny except around other irresponsible drunks.

Sheesh, this is a joke that needed the be delivered by the drunk Dean Martin during the hard-drinkin' Sinatra Rat Pack era, and even then it wasn't funny, it was sad.

In a bike forum with folks that risk getting killed riding a effing bike, perhaps from a drunk man, or drunk bishop, or someone - this is no laughing matter.

This is a stupid joke. I didn't laugh 'cos I knew the punch line that was coming.

You sir, need to look at the picture in post 10, and heed the advice.

[regularguy412]

Ok so -- since we're kinda on the subject of bad jokes.........

Local police officer sits in his patrol car parked in an inconspicuous spot near the local bar late at nite.

Several cars and pickups parked neatly in the front of the bar and around the side.

Around 2 AM, the first patron calls it a night and emerges from the front of the bar. He stumbles to his car, fumbles for his keys, and manages to get the door unlocked and he gets inside.

A few brake light blinks later, he manages to start the car.

Puts it in Drive and tries to run over the curb. Puts it in Reverse and, with several lurches, gets it backed out and proceeds, very slowly down the street --- barely on the correct side of the road.

The police officer, seeing all this behavior, flips on the blues and the siren and pulls the driver over and proceeds to give the man a roadside sobriety test.

To the officer's astonishment, the man passes all the tests with flying colors.

Just as the bar patron is about to drive away, the officer asks him, 'Hey, who are you, anyway? I thought for sure you shouldn't be driving.'

The man wryly answers ' Why, officer, I'm the designated drunk'.

By this time, all the OTHER vehicles had managed to drive off the lot in the OTHER direction, unencumbered.

:)

I do not advocate this behavior , BTW.

Mike in AR:beer:

[Tony T]

In the voice of Gilbert Gottfried:

"A man walks into a bar and starts drinking. He gets so drunk he pukes all over his shirt. He goes to the bartender and says "I'm in trouble. I'm not supposed to be drinking, my wife will kill me." The bartender says here's what you do, "Put a $10 bill in your shirt pocket and when you get home tell your wife a drunk guy puked on you and gave you $10 to have it cleaned." The man says great I'll try that...

When he gets home his wife angrily confronts him about the puke on his shirt. He pulls the bill out of his pocket and says "see honey, Im not drunk. Another man puked on my shirt and gave me $10 to have it cleaned." The wife says "but that's a $20 bill." The man pauses then says, "Oh yea I forgot to tell you, he also ****e in my pants"!"

Also, I do not advocate this behavior :)

[mbrtool]

Tony T,

This stuff is not a joke; not sure where you're coming from.

Ray

[fuzzalow]

You sir, need to look at the picture in post 10, and heed the advice.

Water seeks its own level.

[stephenmarklay]

I didn’t read your original post carefully. I glossed over the important parts and when I read the follow up I was thinking it was a bit rude.

Funny joke anyway.

[Gummee]

I'm pretty sure none of us here would actually *DO* what these jokes are advocating, which makes em even more funny.

Onya for making a shop rat's evening

M

[dustyrider]

So the past, present and future walk into a bar...it was tense moment. :)

[Willy]

If this is a joke - it 's not close to being funny.

If it is not a joke - you need your head examined and this should not be posted on this forum or anywhere else!

[gasman]

I'm not sure why people find these jokes so offensive. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents and basically had to raise myself from age 12. Al-anon has been a huge help to me over the years. I've also seen the terrible effects of alcohol in my professional life in medicine and in volunteering for the homeless.

Life is worth laughing at, even if they are dumb jokes.

[beeatnik]

Mods, delete this P O S thread. Sanks! :)

Fuzz, I like your common sense style.

[oldpotatoe]

Must be winter and the stress from Xmas is showing. Geeez Loueezzz, it's a joke on a bike forum. Not designs of heart lung machines..yikes.

[Tony T]

If this is a joke - it 's not close to being funny.

If it is not a joke - you need your head examined and this should not be posted on this forum or anywhere else!

You're considering that this actually occurred?
Is this a joke? :)
Lighten up, and if you do go to a holiday party and have a drink, don't drive. Better yet stay home, a party is for fun and jokes.

[Tony T]

Horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "So. Why the long face?"

(Note: this is a joke, it didn't actually happen :))

[Tony T]

A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.

"Hey mister! Nice pants!" it says.

He looks around, doesn’t see anything, and quickly shrugs it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip and hears the voice again.

“Hey mister! Sweet shoes!”

Again, he looks around, sees nothing but a bartender who is busy attending to other customers. Shaking his head, he sips once more.

“Hey mister! Cool shirt!”

He puts down his drink, frustrated at this phantom voice, and signals to the bartender, who comes over.

“Hey barkeep,” he begins, “what is that high-pitched voice I keep hearing?”

“Oh, those are the peanuts,” he replies. “They’re complimentary.”

[soulspinner]

I'm not sure why people find these jokes so offensive. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents and basically had to raise myself from age 12. Al-anon has been a huge help to me over the years. I've also seen the terrible effects of alcohol in my professional life in medicine and in volunteering for the homeless.

Life is worth laughing at, even if they are dumb jokes.

Cause we have or may be popped by a drunk?

[Tony T]

A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar...or maybe a hotel. Or possibly a church.

[fuzzalow]

C'mon. Knock it off already with the "lighten up". It is a way to turn it back to an audience a joke that is tone deaf to everyone but the guy who made the joke.

Whatever. I think the OP joke is an anachronism. I am lightened up about it, but that doesn't' take change that the joke is stupid.

If you think it funny, just accept it as funny for you.

For others what the joke makes fun of is no longer funny because this kind of behaviour in no longer viewed as fun 'n games in a victimless environment. That threat adds a harsh edge of consequence and kills the joke.

[beeatnik]

Irony: Tony T gets taken out by a drunk driver on Xmas Eve.

How's that for Cosmic Humor?

[Tony T]

Irony: Tony T gets taken out by a drunk driver on Xmas Eve.


So, if you're at a party tonight and someone there tells this joke, you would tell that person that it would be ironic if he were hit by a drunk on his way home and died?

[fuzzalow]

Irony: Tony T gets taken out by a drunk driver on Xmas Eve.

or

Wait, is that a joke?

He just said what I said. In a way I wouldn't think to say it.

The style quotient in this place is expansive and diverse.

[Cicli]

Irony: Tony T gets taken out by a drunk driver on Xmas Eve.

How's that for Cosmic Humor?

Yeah, thats big of you. Really? A joke takes us down this road.
Personal attacks are where I draw the line. Wishing death on someone is where you make it to the ignore list. Welcome.

[AngryScientist]

Hey!

A little civility here please.

it's the holiday season - try and be jolly eh?