Serpico
07-20-2006, 04:09 PM
The chief export of Floyd Landis is Pain.
Floyd Landis grinds coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Floyd Landis lives in San Diego.
While urinating, Floyd Landis is easily capable of welding titanium.
The latest edition of Webster's Dictionary defines "victim" as "one who has encountered Floyd Landis".
Floyd Landis doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
It takes Floyd Landis 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Floyd Landis has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Floyd Landis once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills--they made him blink.
Floyd Landis played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When Floyd Landis sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Floyd Landis has never had to pay taxes--ever.
Floyd Landis can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Police label anyone attacking Floyd Landis as a Code 45-11, a suicide.
Contrary to popular belief, France is not a democracy, it is a Floydtatorship.
Floyd Landis recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Floyd Landis pajamas.
Floyd Landis once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
When Floyd Landis does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Floyd Landis does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
The Sherman tank was originaly called the Landis tank until Floyd decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him.
Floyd Landis does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
There is no such thing as global warming. Floyd Landis was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Floyd Landis brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
Floyd Landis doesn't play the lottery--it doesn't have enough balls.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Floyd Landis.
They once made a Floyd Landis toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take sh't from anybody.
Add your own
Floyd Landis grinds coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Floyd Landis lives in San Diego.
While urinating, Floyd Landis is easily capable of welding titanium.
The latest edition of Webster's Dictionary defines "victim" as "one who has encountered Floyd Landis".
Floyd Landis doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
It takes Floyd Landis 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Floyd Landis has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Floyd Landis once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills--they made him blink.
Floyd Landis played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When Floyd Landis sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Floyd Landis has never had to pay taxes--ever.
Floyd Landis can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Police label anyone attacking Floyd Landis as a Code 45-11, a suicide.
Contrary to popular belief, France is not a democracy, it is a Floydtatorship.
Floyd Landis recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Floyd Landis pajamas.
Floyd Landis once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
When Floyd Landis does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Floyd Landis does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
The Sherman tank was originaly called the Landis tank until Floyd decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him.
Floyd Landis does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
There is no such thing as global warming. Floyd Landis was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Floyd Landis brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
Floyd Landis doesn't play the lottery--it doesn't have enough balls.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Floyd Landis.
They once made a Floyd Landis toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take sh't from anybody.
Add your own