stevep
06-25-2006, 07:41 AM
Atmo suspected of using artificial stimulants to expedite frame building…
“ all I know …” notes well respected cycling analyst and critic obtuse is that 2 weeks ago I called him and asked how long it would take to build a frame…and his answer was…maybe by the year 2025 I can build you a fork… yesterday I get a call back that says…”what size? What color? You can pick it up in an hour and a half…come on down… it made me suspicious, that’s all…”
Close associate and well known racer frystthnu adds…” not to cast suspicion on my friend atmo…but he told me that I could come by and wait and he would build a frame for me to take home right away…like in forty five minutes…my last frame was scheduled when I was 4 years old based on my fathers height, projected future diet and dna analysis of my grandparents… and I got it last week…it’s a 63cm frame and I am 5’9”..( my great, great grandfather was 6’9” so it kinda skewed the results ) but I think the analysis was spot on…and the paint is so perfect…”
Atmo replies…” I have adhered to the framebuilders guild rules of recreational drugs only and never tested positive for stimulants other than coffee and the continuous use of beer and wine before, during and after the manufacture of these framesets…”
When asked how the wait list could have been reduced to under 2 hours from 5 years…atmo offered…” before last Tuesday I never realized how much faster you could work if you lit the torch with a match as opposed to warm the tubes by holding them under your arms..while it is true that they do gradually warm up that way…but it is very slow..particularly when it comes to the bb…which is a real heat sink…I’m now knocking of 95 frames a week…an easy 8 hours work a day… the rest of the time I drive around Chester in my Cadillac Escalade honking the horn at tourists…and yelling at those idiot cyclists who cut in and out of traffic...”
This increased production has nothing to do with my continued use of steroids, hgh, amphetamines, epo or testosterone…these are to increase my performance when racing but not when building frames… but their use has recently dropped since I have hired Tom Officer to subcontract the actual pedaling… preferring to be in management than actual labor… ”
Reported by the Serotta committee for Truth
“ all I know …” notes well respected cycling analyst and critic obtuse is that 2 weeks ago I called him and asked how long it would take to build a frame…and his answer was…maybe by the year 2025 I can build you a fork… yesterday I get a call back that says…”what size? What color? You can pick it up in an hour and a half…come on down… it made me suspicious, that’s all…”
Close associate and well known racer frystthnu adds…” not to cast suspicion on my friend atmo…but he told me that I could come by and wait and he would build a frame for me to take home right away…like in forty five minutes…my last frame was scheduled when I was 4 years old based on my fathers height, projected future diet and dna analysis of my grandparents… and I got it last week…it’s a 63cm frame and I am 5’9”..( my great, great grandfather was 6’9” so it kinda skewed the results ) but I think the analysis was spot on…and the paint is so perfect…”
Atmo replies…” I have adhered to the framebuilders guild rules of recreational drugs only and never tested positive for stimulants other than coffee and the continuous use of beer and wine before, during and after the manufacture of these framesets…”
When asked how the wait list could have been reduced to under 2 hours from 5 years…atmo offered…” before last Tuesday I never realized how much faster you could work if you lit the torch with a match as opposed to warm the tubes by holding them under your arms..while it is true that they do gradually warm up that way…but it is very slow..particularly when it comes to the bb…which is a real heat sink…I’m now knocking of 95 frames a week…an easy 8 hours work a day… the rest of the time I drive around Chester in my Cadillac Escalade honking the horn at tourists…and yelling at those idiot cyclists who cut in and out of traffic...”
This increased production has nothing to do with my continued use of steroids, hgh, amphetamines, epo or testosterone…these are to increase my performance when racing but not when building frames… but their use has recently dropped since I have hired Tom Officer to subcontract the actual pedaling… preferring to be in management than actual labor… ”
Reported by the Serotta committee for Truth