Training, getting old, and mythological memories

[velotel]

Read an article some time ago about Cipollini and something happening, maybe a crash, during a training ride. I thought what the heck are they writing about, I mean training ride, training for what already, the guy's retired, he's not training, he's just out riding his bike. Okay, so it's Cipollini which means if he's out on his bike the pedal is guaranteed to the metal. Like Moser, on a bike means full throttle, just the way they're wired.

Got to thinking about that another day during a ride. Lots of thoughts ramble through the head during rides. Realized that every damn ride I do is a training ride. And I never race. I just ride. But I'm definitely training. Training to achieve some fitness level that floats out there like lines in a drawing stretching to the horizon, always converging but never meeting.

I'm forever chasing this memory of fitness I had years ago, and never achieving. Maybe my memory is wrong, that the level of form I think I once had is in fact highly exaggerated, the brain polishing up the past with visions of strength that never was, a self-perpetuating psychic myth. Makes things frustrating.

I mean I'm riding more, and more regularly, than I ever have in my life. I ought to be in great form. Instead half the time I feel like I'm crawling up out of a damn hole, the legs heavy, the arms aching. The rest of the time I'm out of the hole, but not by so much, always glancing down to see what cog I'm on only to discover I'm on a bigger one than I thought/hoped. Couple years ago I changed to a 27 for the big cog. Just for emergencies of course. I suspect this year I'll switch to a 29. It won't be an emergency cog either. It'll end up the default cog for climbing, just like the 27 became. And I know damn well that I used to ride the exact same road with 39/52 chainrings and a 12-26 cassette! I rode Alpe d'Huez with that gearing, did it in around 46-47 minutes, something like that, maybe 48. I wasn't a kid then either, over 50, not sure how much over 50. As usual I've forgotten.

Okay, granted, last year I did some fine rides including more big rides than I've ever done in one year. Some of the hardest too. No, not some of the hardest, the hardest. Like Finistre, Galibier, Iseran, Ventoux (3 times in one year in fact!), Sabot, Solude, the magnificent Areches/Roselend/Pre loop, the Arpettaz/Aravis Grand Traverse (did that 3 times too), etc, etc. In other words for me it was a great year, a wonderful way to celebrate having turned 70.

But every single one of those rides hurt like hell. None of them were easy, easy in the sense of being in perfect form and totally exploiting that strength in the climb, surging up the leg-draining ramps and laughing at how good it felt, daring the road to throw it all at me, no problem, the climb was mine. I remember feeling that long ago. Or I hope I'm remembering that and not glossing over holes in the memory banks. No, definitely I can remember that, the glory of riding well.

But no more. At least not for an entire climb. Just moments. Into a tight, steep switchback and taking the inside line just for the hell of it, to know I still can, now and then. Or heading into some long, sustained, steep, dirt and stone ramp and settling in and powering up with laser concentration of line picking and weight balance right to the end, and then heaving to a stop and sagging over the bike unable to move. Believe me, I was thrilled at what I'd pulled off, but there wasn't any fist pumping in the air and moving down the cogs while I accelerated towards the next challenge. No way, I just stood there straddling the top tube afraid I'd fall over if I tried swinging a leg over the saddle. I'd made it, but barely.

The worst is I can't stop. The thing for me about getting old is that finding form is a constant effort but losing form is just a blink of the eyes. Four, five days without riding and I'm going to suffer. Like I'm starting all over again, climbing out of this huge deficit hole. I mean this getting old on a bike business is one hell of a lot of work.

Thankfully there are the downhills. Gravity never lies and doesn't know age from chocolate. Letting go of the brakes is letting go of the years. At least for me. You know how they like to talk about the retirement years being the golden years and there's some picture in the background of an older couple with brilliant white smiles on a golf course in Arizona or somewhere (might be dating myself with that image), well, those aren't my golden years. Mine are dropping off the top, letting go of the brakes, feeling the bike rocketing down the hill that I just busted my butt getting up. Arcing through turns, tucking in tight and feeling the bike accelerate down some short ramp, sitting up for a bit of air brakage while checking out the next bend, floating the brake pads on the rims then diving in, leaned over, the tires carving through. Yes! Just magnificent those burns off the high cols.

But that said, damn how I'd love to just once more feel that joy exploding out from the legs as they flat crush the climb. Just once. Which I guess is what ultimately I'm training for, one more glorious climb of pure power, just one more time feeling the dragons in the legs stretch and spread their wings and drive me up the mountain with a fierce intensity that makes me laugh while I move down one more cog. Won't happen of course, not at my age, but I'm still crazy enough to keep reaching anyway. I mean sure as hell there's nothing to lose. Actually that's not true, there's everything to lose because the day I stop reaching is the day they shut down the lights, with no curtain call for a last hooray.

A few arbitrary pics from the past

[numbskull]

You need a perspective adjustment.
Haven't you had any friends die yet?

[paredown]

Best advice I got when complaining about the slow acquisition of fitness and the unflattering comparisons to my "glory" days--"You don't want to go back and be 'that guy' again."

I try to take pleasure in just being out on my bike. I've no computer, I've stopped trying to set personal bests--I just try to get out and ride as hard as my body will let me without beating myself up.

And, although it feels painfully slow to what I could do when I was young and fast, some perspective is necessary. I happened to go up my one hill up into Harriman with a younger rider, who said to me at the top--"That's the fastest I've climbed that hill' (and I thought we were dragging).

And the alternatives are worse.

[oldpotatoe]

Well, Hank, as a guy who is chasing your age..'you can get thinner and richer but you can't get younger'...

IMHO, gotta look forward, not backward, and don't give up a nice day, and not ride, cuz not that many left. Even if it's a 'bike path bounce around', I get on the bike and turn the pedals.

The object of the ride is the ride, any ride, anywhere. My goals are to 'ride lots', don't care if it's slow, but if it gets too hard, either physically or mentally, I'll do something else. BUT don't let it get too hard mentally by 'wishing for the good old days', the good days are in front of you.

IMHO, of course.

[livingminimal]

Well, Hank, as a guy who is chasing your age..'you can get thinner and richer but you can't get younger'...

IMHO, gotta look forward, not backward, and don't give up a nice day, and not ride, cuz not that many left. Even if it's a 'bike path bounce around', I get on the bike and turn the pedals.

The object of the ride is the ride, any ride, anywhere. My goals are to 'ride lots', don't care if it's slow, but if it gets too hard, either physically or mentally, I'll do something else. BUT don't let it get too hard mentally by 'wishing for the good old days', the good days are in front of you.

IMHO, of course.

hear hear!

[AngryScientist]

getting old sucks, but the alternative isn't very attractive either!

too many americans work until they die, or make it a year or so into retirement after having lived a sedentary life and wind up in the old nursing home. you're living the dream Hank!!

[tv_vt]

I hear ya, Hank. Once was climbing gaps in Vermont in a 42-24 or even a 42-21. Now it's 34-28 or worse.

I know this is blasphemous, but man, a 2 week course of steroids (like prednisone) sure makes you feel good. Was put on that for a nasty run-in with poison ivy a few years back, and the riding sure got stronger. And the recovery time went way down - next day, good to go.

I am glad you're out there pushing the envelope, cuz a lot of us are riding in your shadow, age-wise. To see you doing what you're doing at 70+ is really encouraging to us 10 years younger.

Where in France are you based, btw?

[weisan]

Velo pal, have you tried Viagra?

[shovelhd]

Well, Hank, as a guy who is chasing your age..'you can get thinner and richer but you can't get younger'...

IMHO, gotta look forward, not backward, and don't give up a nice day, and not ride, cuz not that many left. Even if it's a 'bike path bounce around', I get on the bike and turn the pedals.

The object of the ride is the ride, any ride, anywhere. My goals are to 'ride lots', don't care if it's slow, but if it gets too hard, either physically or mentally, I'll do something else. BUT don't let it get too hard mentally by 'wishing for the good old days', the good days are in front of you.

IMHO, of course.

Beautifully put, OP.

[Ken Robb]

I'll be 73 in a couple of weeks and have learned from experience that if I push myself for max muscular effort I will surely be sore tomorrow and there is a very good chance the pain will last longer than a few days. I think my muscle strength has decreased quite a bit slower than my connective tissue's ability to transmit it.

at 6'1 feet tall and as much as 215 pounds I was never a good climber but I did it because I LOVED flying on the descents. After getting really banged up in my Ducati incident July 2014 my willingness to take more than MINIMAL risks riding has gone away and riding where cars can hit me is too scary to be fun. I feel so frustrated riding the brakes down what used to be my favorite hills but: my surgeons told me that my repaired back and shoulder shouldn't be more fragile than before the wreck but if I do it again the pieces of bone now held together with ti plates and screws will probably shatter into pieces too small to fix very well.

So I will no longer accept the risks that used to seem worth the thrills that were so much fun. I kind of realized before the wreck that I should have become more cautious in my riding, skiing, and other activities but I was still rationalizing with "so far-so good". :rolleyes:

I don't want to be a wet-blanket but my experience with real versus theoretical incapacity and pain has changed my attitude forever about risk/reward evaluations. Jeez, I have become an Old Fart. But I can still dress myself so I guess I am lucky because for 5 weeks I couldn't.

[TronnyJenkins]

As a younger guy, I love seeing the guys your age out there on group rides. I also love the conversations. Just keep going out and crushing it!

Beautiful pictures by the way. Someday I'll ride Alpe d'Huez :cool:

Much respect.
Aaron

[Ralph]

While most of you don't wish to live in Florida.......I feel fortunate to have good health at 74 and live in a climate where I can exercise outdoors year around in a fitness oriented community. And with flat to rolling hills around where I live, and some short 15% climbs not far away....riding here is much easier than where most of you live. So I can still get in 100-150 miles per week at my age .....and can usually sit on the back of a relatively fast pack....even if I don't go to the front much...we have pack riding around here....they think they are in the TDF or something....even the old dudes. When I take my bike to the mountains....it's much harder for me....and if weather was iffy (or cold).....would probably just pass on riding that day.

So I have huge admiration for anyone near my age who still rides in the Alps. BTW...being thin really helps....and it takes a lot of self control to maintain a lean body when you're our age. Kudo's for that also.

[stien]

Great post and I'll add my unsolicited 2c: are you resting enough? If you always feel tired, you may be overtrained.

[David Tollefson]

I remember racing on a 54/42, with an 11-21 8-speed cogset. In the hills of western Washington. Occasionally, for something REALLY mountainous, I'd go with a 23 in back...

While I don't have any desire to put myself through the transformation it took to get me there, I do occasionally look at my current 50/34 with an 11-28 10-speed and sigh.

[Gummee]

I remember when a 24 was a HUGE cog riding around Blacksburg, VA (remember that stage of the Tour Du Pont where LA won? Yeah. Those hills)

Now? I *think* I may be able to get up em more or less intact on a 28t or 32t big cog!

I've always been allergic to hills tho. Give me the banking of the velodrome any day!

M

[TronnyJenkins]

Great post and I'll add my unsolicited 2c: are you resting enough? If you always feel tired, you may be overtrained.

I'm not quite 30 and if I don't let me heart rest, this very much applies!

[stansarch]

The best thing about this upcoming "generation" or whatever you want to call it, optimistically, is there is so much experience and history out there right now still at the top of their game - irregardless of how different one feels at the present ;) There's many conditions (including personal) that make bike riding at any level a major accomplishment in of itself when many people cannot even get off their couch without being out of breathe.
The youths really admire that and enjoy what it takes to get better in the sport, and how to continue the sport long into adulthood. But like many other things, the challenges makes it worthwhile because they always evolve, and it's something admiring when I can go out there and see many still make it look so easy. We all know it's not! The thrill of wind on the face or at the back is something many can relate to, and wouldn't give up.

[fiamme red]

I used to climb certain mountains in a 42/25 that I now need a 30/23 for. I don't enjoy a good climb any less because I'm slower. I'm building a bike with a 28/30 low gear, and I'll have no qualms about using it when the climbs get very steep.

[Bostic]

In the early 90's when I was in my 20's I would ride all the very steep hills in San Francisco in a 42x23 low on my Trek 2100 7 speed. I had to tack up almost all of them. When I switched to a 39 I still had to tack, just not as sharp an angle. Some hills I could not get up as there wasn't room to tack on the sidewalk and simply too much traffic on the street. I would have been much happier back then with with a 34 inner ring and 11-28 cassette. Or a good shifting triple. I certainly was happier when I bought a Marin Pine Mountain mountain bike with a 24x28 low gear and showed those hills who was boss.

Time waits for no one. I cherished that time as well as the last decade and the current present. It is a bit eerie to see classmates that have passed unfortunately still show up in the chat listing in my Facebook feed, always to be offline.

[Anarchist]

The OP hits it on the head. I remember fondly the days of my youth, and relative youth, when I felt fluid on the bike. Day after day, no matter the distance. I felt fluid and I felt strong.

My distances are less now and it rare I have those days where I feel "in it" and fluid and supple. More days than not now it is a struggle. I hate getting older.

[Waldo]

Someone on this forum signs his posts with: "The older I get the faster I used to be." Applies to me and most of the people here. Of course there's also a "Younger Next Year" series of books. Their advice boils down to exercise-six-times-a-week-and-don't-eat-crap. At 53, I don't have the discipline to do either.

[merlinmurph]

Man, can I relate.

I turn 62 in another month, and like others, have seen significant changes in my gearing. This year's story is that I never took my 29 cog off. For the last few years, I'd start out in the spring with the 29 cog, and replace it with the 26 after a few months. Never happened.

My rides have changed significantly in the last 10 years. I don't beat the crap out of myself like I used to. Instead, I just go out and enjoy my ride. If I'm out there, I'm enjoying myself, and that's all I'm looking for. My cross bike has really added a lot to my rides with its 1:1 gearing and 40mm tires - it's a blast.

One thing that does gnaw at me a bit is that there are (and will be) some rides that I will not be able to do simply because of age and physical limitations. It's a tough thing to accept. To that, I say to you younger guys, do it while you can.

Enjoy your ride,
Murph

[rpm]

As someone who will be 70 this summer, I certainly experience the aches of age and the loss of horsepower. But I have to remind myself that at the age of 49 I was lying in a hospital with just hours to live from a progressive liver disease. I was saved by a liver transplant. At the time in 1995, the longest-living liver transplant survivor in my state was 14 years out and was in very bad shape. He died that year.

I never expected to be here in 2016, let alone be able to ride, travel, and enjoy my grandchildren. Growing old is a gift, and to be old and active is an even greater gift, which many people never get to experience. Of course, I kvetch about my pains and groan when I can't keep up with someone I "should" be able to pass, but I try to counteract those feelings with a dose of gratitude.

[jimcav]

Reminded me in a bittersweet way of my dad, who passed not that long ago and never got over the loss of ability in his competitive running after an accident (riding a bike for some cross training). I am nearing 50, but when I take the time to do it properly I can get in nearly the shape i was in my mid-20s. I just have to be much more careful. As others have said, the key i think is recovery, but not sustained time off. I have failed miserably at that last point because I have had 2 serious injuries requiring surgery in that last 4 years, but in between got into incredible shape. my mistake as alluded to in the OP post, was going too hard too often--to the metal as OP said of Cippo. Getting back into shape is horrible and I run the risk of overdoing it, which ends in worse setbacks.

I lamented my time in the Pacific Northwest as i felt it limited my cycling, but I found when i moved to san diego and could ride long/hard every day, I tended to--I was either trying to get to work on time, or if i saw someone, tried to catch them, if someone joined into my route to work, i would push to drop them. Like doing a tempo run every day: i just got worn out rather than really improving. In the PNW, the rain made me do shorter rides, slower rides, and then on the clear days i would either go hard or long or both. that regimen actually made me pretty fast--when i moved here in 2008 I was surprised I could hang with the fast swamis ride, cruised up Mt Palomar. By summer of 2009, a year later, I'd ridden more than ever, but was far slower on flats or hills. As i added trying to qualify for boston on it got even worse.

riding to ride is just fine, but in terms of developing or maintaining peak form, it doesn't work, you end up with junk miles and worse performance

[Mr. Pink]

Thanks for this.

I am in Colorado (your former home, right?), spending my second year of "retirement" doing the ski bum thing for a few months. Well, just had the best knee guy here, which is pretty damn good, extract about a cup of nasty yellow liquid from my right knee Saturday morning, and look me in the eyes and tell me bumps are history for me, because I'm working with half a meniscus from my operation in April. But, surprising to me, said I could ski. Went to a physical therapist today for day one, and she said, hey, sure you can ski, but, we have to sort of strip you down and build you back up again, because your legs are so mismatched, and, basically, I've been doing it all wrong for so long, and we're in no second chance territory now. Anyway, point is, I have been slapped in the face with my mortality at age 63. No longer is it going to be reckless and crazy. I have to now concentrate on doing things right and asking myself twice if certain things are possible, but, hey, I can still ski, and, bike. I keep on telling myself, hell, first world problem, if there isn't one. Or, as a good ski/bike buddy said last week, hey, you ain't living in Syria. Knowwhatimean? You're right, though. Keep it going. Don't stop. It's all still such a gas, living in the mountains, going up, and down.

Awesome pix. You rock.

[bcroslin]

I ride with a few fast guys in their 60's and they're my freaking heros. I'll be 45 in a few weeks and I'm in the best shape of my life but I know this is it. It definitely freaks me out but what can you do? I ride my bike, I live life, I'm surrounded by people I love. Doesn't get much better than that.

[Dead Man]

Jeez, you guys..

That's it. I'm not growing up.

http://cdn.instructables.com/FGT/7R3E/G3KYAYBQ/FGT7R3EG3KYAYBQ.LARGE.jpg

[TronnyJenkins]

Hahaha. Or else...
https://ericlukepeterson.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/hook.jpeg

[numbskull]

As someone who will be 70 this summer, I certainly experience the aches of age and the loss of horsepower. But I have to remind myself that at the age of 49 I was lying in a hospital with just hours to live from a progressive liver disease. I was saved by a liver transplant. At the time in 1995, the longest-living liver transplant survivor in my state was 14 years out and was in very bad shape. He died that year.

I never expected to be here in 2016, let alone be able to ride, travel, and enjoy my grandchildren. Growing old is a gift, and to be old and active is an even greater gift, which many people never get to experience. Of course, I kvetch about my pains and groan when I can't keep up with someone I "should" be able to pass, but I try to counteract those feelings with a dose of gratitude.

Thanks for this post.

[Ken Robb]

Thanks for this.

I am in Colorado (your former home, right?), spending my second year of "retirement" doing the ski bum thing for a few months. Well, just had the best knee guy here, which is pretty damn good, extract about a cup of nasty yellow liquid from my right knee Saturday morning, and look me in the eyes and tell me bumps are history for me, because I'm working with half a meniscus from my operation in April. But, surprising to me, said I could ski. Went to a physical therapist today for day one, and she said, hey, sure you can ski, but, we have to sort of strip you down and build you back up again, because your legs are so mismatched, and, basically, I've been doing it all wrong for so long, and we're in no second chance territory now. Anyway, point is, I have been slapped in the face with my mortality at age 63. No longer is it going to be reckless and crazy. I have to now concentrate on doing things right and asking myself twice if certain things are possible, but, hey, I can still ski, and, bike. I keep on telling myself, hell, first world problem, if there isn't one. Or, as a good ski/bike buddy said last week, hey, you ain't living in Syria. Knowwhatimean? You're right, though. Keep it going. Don't stop. It's all still such a gas, living in the mountains, going up, and down.

Awesome pix. You rock.
Yep. I played a few sports but tennis was my favorite and the one I played the most. When I tore my first meniscus I thought it was a fluke trauma. After surgery re-hab PT I played tennis for the first time in 6 months and TORE the OTHER one! Surgery, re-hab and back on the courts in 3 months and having fun. But then I looked around the club at guys older than me who kept playing after knee surgeries and realized they could barely walk. My surgeon is an old pal from college days and one of my tennis buddies. I told him I was suspecting that knee problems might be inevitable. He said "OH, yeah. A guy your size/age who plays on hard courts is going to need me every few years to trim up on-going wear/tear."

Since I still enjoyed cycling, skiing, WALKING, and other activities I gave up tennis. I still miss it but my knees are still ok.

[merlinmurph]

As someone who will be 70 this summer, I certainly experience the aches of age and the loss of horsepower. But I have to remind myself that at the age of 49 I was lying in a hospital with just hours to live from a progressive liver disease. I was saved by a liver transplant. At the time in 1995, the longest-living liver transplant survivor in my state was 14 years out and was in very bad shape. He died that year.

I never expected to be here in 2016, let alone be able to ride, travel, and enjoy my grandchildren. Growing old is a gift, and to be old and active is an even greater gift, which many people never get to experience. Of course, I kvetch about my pains and groan when I can't keep up with someone I "should" be able to pass, but I try to counteract those feelings with a dose of gratitude.

Holy crap! That certainly puts things into perspective and definitely a great way to look at things. Thanks for filling us in.

My dad has a similar story. He had pancreatic cancer in '92. Yes. you read that right - pancreatic cancer. As in, the cancer that <5% survive. He's still kicking today at almost 90.

Enjoy your ride, no matter how slow it is,
Murph

[OldDog]

Sigh....to be able to ride again, without excruciating foot pain. I drop back to this forum time and again to live through you guys. Great post. Great pics.

[54ny77]

"old" is relative.

i often ride with a few guys in their 50s/60's who could shell most guys half their age from pretty much any racing category, save for top tier 2's/1's.

they, however, take pity on me when i join them in their riding....on their recovery days, of course!

[BobO]

Best advice I got when complaining about the slow acquisition of fitness and the unflattering comparisons to my "glory" days--"You don't want to go back and be 'that guy' again."

I try to take pleasure in just being out on my bike. I've no computer, I've stopped trying to set personal bests--I just try to get out and ride as hard as my body will let me without beating myself up.

When I was in my youth I had some fairly lofty goals as a middle distance runner. I may have even had the talent to do something about it, maybe not. But, regardless, my entire life revolved around it, everything I did was in support of that goal. Then I got hurt, at 21, doc said I needed a new hip. My dream was over. I fell into a pretty dark place and spent the better part of a decade making bad decisions. Met my wife, straightened myself out, with a lot of help. Anyway, that's how a pretty darn fit kid turned into a forty something overweight couch potato who chewed tobacco and drank too much.

About two and a half years ago I got the bright idea that I wanted to ride a century. Pulled out the old Univega, tuned it up and wheezed my way through a twenty minute ride. Last year I discovered something about myself, while I enjoy doing rides for time and improving on my performance, that isn't why I do it now. I do it, because I like how it feels to propel myself down the road. It's not the destination, its the journey.

[redir]

I remember when a 24 was a HUGE cog riding around Blacksburg, VA (remember that stage of the Tour Du Pont where LA won? Yeah. Those hills)

Now? I *think* I may be able to get up em more or less intact on a 28t or 32t big cog!

I've always been allergic to hills tho. Give me the banking of the velodrome any day!

M

The back side of Mountain Lake. That's where the elder Greg Lemond passed the torch off to the younger arrogant Lance Armstrong.

Well Velotel at least you are still chasing that form, that's about all you can ask for. Most people just give up.

[Mr. Pink]

Yep. I played a few sports but tennis was my favorite and the one I played the most. When I tore my first meniscus I thought it was a fluke trauma. After surgery re-hab PT I played tennis for the first time in 6 months and TORE the OTHER one! Surgery, re-hab and back on the courts in 3 months and having fun. But then I looked around the club at guys older than me who kept playing after knee surgeries and realized they could barely walk. My surgeon is an old pal from college days and one of my tennis buddies. I told him I was suspecting that knee problems might be inevitable. He said "OH, yeah. A guy your size/age who plays on hard courts is going to need me every few years to trim up on-going wear/tear."

Since I still enjoyed cycling, skiing, WALKING, and other activities I gave up tennis. I still miss it but my knees are still ok.


Yeah. That's the big one right now. I'm walking fine, my knee guy loves that I bike, and life, other than some skiing pain, is good. So, what would a sensible person (hi, Mom!) say? Don't ski, duh. It's a tough call. I friggin love it. Today was beautiful at 12,000 ft..

[rpm]

My dad has a similar story. He had pancreatic cancer in '92. Yes. you read that right - pancreatic cancer. As in, the cancer that <5% survive. He's still kicking today at almost 90.

Enjoy your ride, no matter how slow it is,
Murph

Congratulations to your dad! Here's hoping you picked up some of his resilient genes. Good genetics and plain luck are part of resilience, but I'm absolutely convinced that riding my bike regardless of the medical stuff I was going through has been a big part of why I'm still going. Of course, life is too short and fragile to ride bad bikes--I ride Strongs and Serottas!