Do you tell your SO about near misses?

[tuxbailey]

We all have close encounters with potential disasters. Do you tell your SO about it or keep quiet?

[oldpotatoe]

We all have close encounters with potential disasters. Do you tell your SO about it or keep quiet?

No...got hit in 2002, no reason to talk about near misses...had 2 yesterday, unusual..right hook and a truck coming out of a driveway.

[lemondsteel]

Police told my S.O. about the worst one. Pain on my face was always enough to let her know about the others!

[redir]

I don't either. If she asks me if there was a crash at my race or training rides then I'll tell her but otherwise no.

[rugbysecondrow]

We all have close encounters with potential disasters. Do you tell your SO about it or keep quiet?

Nope.

[rwsaunders]

I am obligated do my best for her and the kids in terms of safe riding technique, proper maintenance and using safety gear...helmet, lights, medical ID, etc. I haven't been able to find a reason to share the sketchy experiences with her.

[Len J]

No.

Wife is already stressed about me riding...why add fuel.

Len

[tumbler]

Nope. Only tell her about the good times.

[bcroslin]

I always say I'm not going to but then I end up slipping and mentioning stuff in conversation. I should keep my big yap shut.

[tuxbailey]

Yeah, just confirmed what I thought about it. I had a near miss on a relatively safe situation (car didn't stop when I was in a cross street in a bike path.) I thought about sharing it through FB but decided to not broadcast so my wife wouldn't worry about it. Like others said , no need to add stress and just do what I can to be safe.

[SpokeValley]

Not usually...but she rides too so I may not get her stories either.

We chalk up the "close ones" to experience.

[palincss]

We all have close encounters with potential disasters. Do you tell your SO about it or keep quiet?

What purpose would it serve to do so, do you think?

If your SO told you about close encounters with potential disasters, what would be your reaction? What do you think would be the expectation for action on your part?

[fuzzalow]

No. Never. Got hit in 2014 w/broken collarbone. That one I couldn't keep quiet about.

Mrs. fuzz doesn't ride. So what looks safe is often counterintuitive so there's no point in to talk about any of it anyway.

On a road bike in mostly normal roads, there should be few incidents that cannot be anticipated. But some still do and if they are actually new renditions of driver-danger, they get logged in to mental database. Getting hit from behind however is very difficult to anticipate and avoid on the open road. JRA can still get a rider sideswiped or buzzcut on an open road.

On a Brompton riding throughout Manhattan, there should be few incidents that cannot be anticipated. City gridlock and traffic flow is easier to ride with because there is much less random element in getting hit from behind. The pattern looks chaotic but is not really so because the density of the pattern means it takes time to drastically change. Which means that unless the rider makes a mistake in reading the flow, the entire traffic picture can be assessed, is visible and is therefore less random. But density raises the incidence probability so it might be a wash compared to the open road.

In truth, I prefer the danger profile in riding in Manhattan to the risk of some driver-imbecile sneaking up on me from behind on the open road - modern cars not heavily on-throttle are pretty quiet and you will not hear them coming until you get hit. In Manhattan, you should always see them coming because any traffic a rider has to worry about is not more than 50 meters away which a rider should have picked up on.

[William]

No.

Wife is already stressed about me riding...why add fuel.

Len

Ditto.

I don't mention close calls or light mishaps. She already worries enough with all the texting and cell phone yapping drivers on the road.

Though, I did get outed at the Ramble when I mentioned my knee getting ganked up in a light spill to some of the guys...it innocently got back to her and I got an ear full. :o











William

[stansarch]

I try not to, but on the other hand - I hear every near miss from her.

[Climb01742]

No. I know she worries. She knows I love riding. Silence is our truce.

[Ray]

No. I know she worries. She knows I love riding. Silence is our truce.
^^^THIS

I've mentioned long after the specific incidents that I've had near misses, but I save the details. I've also told her that of the handful of near misses I've had over the years, almost all of them were my fault and I ride much more carefully these days, all of which is true...

-Ray

[zap]

Only if it's interesting...............so the vast majority of the time no.

[deechee]

no. I remember my ex being super mad when I got hit by a car, and instead of calling her, I asked a friend to pick me up... (I was in shock, bike was trashed.)

[Cicli]

I cant tell here about the Misses I get near. I would never hear the end of it. :bike:

[mg2ride]

Never.

Maybe I 'll start posting about them all here. Maybe the Admins should consider a "Doom and Gloom" sub forum.

[eippo1]

Ditto.

I don't mention close calls or light mishaps. She already worries enough with all the texting and cell phone yapping drivers on the road.


William

She has gotten enough of the real calls that she doesn't need to hear about the close calls. Although one of the best ones that I tried to keep secret was when I got sideswiped by a bus in the Charles St rotary. Rode the rest of the way home, quickly changed, hopped in the car and drove to pick her up. She noticed that the seat of the car and my shorts had changed to a much darker color. Turned out it was good that she noticed since she had to pick out the gravel and then make me some custom underwear out of Tagamet every day for a week. :help:

[Veloo]

No.
There's enough crap on the news. No need to add to the fear mongering or hysteria.

[donevwil]

I don't tell my wife simply because I want to forget it ever happened as quickly as possible. My wife, however, rides more than I and loves telling me about her close calls and then showing the video off her Fly6, Ugh !

[velomonkey]

Sometimes, but not always.

A near miss, to me, serves as a reminder that you don't know when, why or how, but death is coming to us all - so regroup up and live your life. Every. freaking. day.

Lost my dad when I was 9 years old, it's a reminder every day, near misses are just big reminders.

[Lewis Moon]

No. I know she worries. She knows I love riding. Silence is our truce.
Exactly.

[pdmtong]

my wife doesn't live her life on a couch. she understands the things I (and she) enjoy involve managed risk. plus, she can ride. loves dirt more than road and has a C5/C6 fusion as a reminder to tone it down.

she isn't thinking...oh, his good fortune is running out. or, if I am an hour late, why I haven't called.

the handful of near misses don't phase her. I let her know. Plus she commutes by bike 3x a week and has her share of "incidents"
If I/we meet our demise, we had a great life. we understands we both try not to put ourself in harms way.

the fact is a near miss is a near miss. yea, it could have been bad but waddya gonna do? not go out anymore? you are still here but with a reminder not to lazily shoot that intersection or stay on your side of the dashed line when the remoteness of the road lulls you.

I have had three serious windsurf incidents, one involved me paddling from the middle of the golden gate for a few hours attempting to make shore before the ebb tide flushed me outside, and the other two where had I not been rescued, I would be dead.

the first, catastrophic equipment failure off shore in Aruba. there I am treading water for 20 minutes when the only boat in the vicinity happens by. I get picked up else I am floating towards Venezuela. We eventually dock, now I walk an hour around the beach to where my wife is reading under a palm tree. she looks up at me and says huh what are you doing here. I recount the story, she says glad you are alive, we go to dinner. it's not that she doesn't care, she just isn't one to perseverate or project.

the other, my mast breaks on a huge day (35-45mph wind) on the bay.
finally get rescued after both county and coast guard boat and choppers come out. make it home very late. big hug, all well. of course my mother-in-law reads about it in the newspaper and is calling the next day...

[weisan]

It depends.

pdm pal, thanks for sharing. You got a great partner there, I mean, both of you.

[ghcs]

she doesn't want to know, I'm sure.

One time in the early 90's she was riding public transit and her co-worker said something like "look at that bike courier! How dangerous is that! Cutting in & out of traffic, riding faster than the cars..."
Her response: "Yeah, that's my husband."

[tuxbailey]

she doesn't want to know, i'm sure.

One time in the early 90's she was riding public transit and her co-worker said something like "look at that bike courier! How dangerous is that! Cutting in & out of traffic, riding faster than the cars..."
her response: "yeah, that's my husband."

lol.

[batman1425]

I used to but don't any more. She's an ER Doc and gets it bad enough when she gets a call that a cyclist is on route after a MVA and is pacing back and fourth praying that I don't get wheeled through the door of her shop.

[Formulasaab]

I didn't used to, but since she's started riding with me I will use them as teaching moments. Like "Last time I rolled through this intersection this car turned just as..." and so on.

She's a worrywart by nature, and perhaps I'm being selfish, but it is more important to me that she stay safe through my experiences, if possible, than to spare her any undue worry.

[dbh]

Nope, otherwise she'd never let me ride again.

[guido]

no. I know she worries. She knows i love riding. Silence is our truce.

+1

[AJosiahK]

not usually unless it happened within a few hours of seeing her, or it was more than a usual idiotic driver move.

Ive been commuting in and out of big cities for years so I think my senses help avoid these kinds of events.

safe riding folks!

[Joel]

Nope.

Rare Exception - if it is really funny and there was a very low chance of getting hurt.

[Repack Rider]

I quit road riding other than errands because of a near miss from a high speed pace line going the other way. One of the dudes going the other way at close to 30mph brushed my jersey sleeve. Road bike went on the ceiling hook, where it stayed undisturbed for four years until earlier this year when I had to get a distance a little farther than I cared to ride the town bike.

My road philosophy is simple. The driver doesn't see you. But if he did, he would try to kill you.

You can kill yourself mountain biking, but in 40 years of it I have survived every ride. Trees do not kill you without your help.

Back when I was moving pianos for a living, I would get dinged up on occasion. I would force myself not to limp or show pain in front of the wife. I only told her about a part that hurt after it stopped hurting, because she would get all worried and stuff. In 25 years I never missed a day from injury, but there were a few days I didn't exactly skip through.

Sometimes she would see a big bruise and ask me how I got it, but it was always hard to narrow down which of many robust events left the mark.