Wrecking, aging, goals.

[Hepmike]

Admittedly a bad time to post/speculate, since I just (yesterday) had a surgical re attachment of 2 of my 3 tricep heads and tendon after tearing off my elbow last week in a pretty bad training crash. So I'm sitting here in pain waiting for the drugs to kick in and thinking out loud...

I'm 47. I've got 3 year old twins to take care of. This type of injury is far from any kind of official "career-ender" (not that I've had one), but I can't help but think this will effect my motivation moving forward.

Is this the sort of 'wake-up call' it takes (or has taken) other folks to slow down and change the dynamic of how/why we ride? Or do we move past things like this and just naturally start slowing down later?
In terms of level of competitiveness I'd say I'm just slightly faster then recreational (Cat 4 working on 3) and view the competition as a benefit to motivate me and improve my fitness- but weighing risks vs benefits I may need to start thinking about things on a more 'adult' level now. And it's bumming me out.

[Black Dog]

Well, it all comes down to why you ride. It is for competitive and fitness reasons or for the pleasure of being on the bike. I know that it is often some of all of the above but, if you love to ride the bike you can still be fit with out the pressures and risks of being competitive. Sort out why you ride and you will be able to make a decision. Is riding the means to and end or the end itself?

[eddief]

age, choice of sport, risk exposure, father, wife, kids. Not sure what you are asking. Sounds like you need to heal up and then evaluate where you are going next. Competition sounds dangerous, but so is riding on a multi use bike path. I'd guess crashing in competition happens way more than on bike paths.

Balancing your passions can be tough. What's your significant other have to say? Never been there, but after having kids seems like a good time to consider being an adult.

[Dead Man]

Everyone has to do their own risk assessment. Getting copies of other peoples' assessments and reviewing them is a great way to help shape your own. Hopefully this synopsis of mine doesn't sound blow-hardy, but it's my genuine assessment:

Upon the realization that my previous passion was no longer appropriate for me, as a sole-provider of a family of 8, I went to aggressive cycling/racing for my thrills. Risk? Well yea there's some risk. There is no reward in this life without risk. The first hard bomb down a wet mountain road, I knew this was the sport for me. Crashing was quite possible- inevitable, even- but a screw up wasn't certain death and/or dismemberment. Bike crashes very rarely result in death or disabling injury, even serious bike crashes. My thrill-to-risk ratio deviated by magnitudes!

I've since crashed a few times. It hurts, and can be very expensive. But it's very unlikely to kill or cripple you, relative to other "risky" endeavors. So MY answer to you is: Shoulda rode faster. You'll ride through it next time.

[OtayBW]

... but I can't help but think this will effect my motivation moving forward.Respectfully disagree. You are likely 'thinking with your tricep' right now, and you'll recover and feel better about all of your activities in due time. You may choose to modify somewhat over time - or not - but either case is OK. Take those pain meds now and call us in the morning....

[soulspinner]

I got out in the 80s cause of boneheads causing crashes that injured me.

[KonaSS]

Strong agree with the prior couple of posts.

Competition isn't for everyone. But if it is something that motivates you, don't ever give it up. Yes, it seems like I have had more setbacks as I have aged, but I don't plan on ever throwing in the towel.

I have felt the way you are feeling. But you have to get over it and use your injury and experience as a motivator, not a de-motivator.

You can get back to the level you were and higher. Your competition is only getting older as well.

There are alot of risks we take in life, and riding bikes is one of them, but nowhere near the top of the list if you really looked at some of them. Worst of all would be to sit on the couch and not be active.

[unterhausen]

I got out in the 80s cause of boneheads causing crashes that injured me.

I always wanted to race again. I don't know how realistic that was because I never really had a lot of motivation to do the things that would make me competitive. But then I saw news of the occasional death and anyone that has raced much at all knows that you are bound to fall occasionally. I just decided it wasn't even a dream any more. I had a bout of bad health a couple of years ago and found out I like riding slowly. About the most dangerous thing I do is ride on gravel, but I can mitigate the risk there for the most part.

Good luck to the op on recovery. It always seems that it's going to take forever and then things get better.

[Ken Robb]

I think the risk/reward of racing may seem reasonable. As others have said rarely is a crash in a race fatal or crippling. After getting taken out by a car last summer I don't think I will ever want to ride near automotive traffic again. I'm not a racer but if I were I don't know how I could train without sharing roads with cars. I have a couple of fun places to ride my mtn. bikes near my home but I used to ride a couple of miles on the road to reach them. I may have to transport my bike those few miles in my car now. :eek: I'm not yet up to riding off road so this remains to be determined.

[aramis]

I've seen a lot of the recreational type cyclists I've known crash too. My only crash ( broken hip, 4 months off the bike ) was solo while not pushing anything, not in a race. So there still is risk doing regular group rides or even just doing solo rides.

[BumbleBeeDave]

. . . partly because of the danger from pack mentality, but also because I know myself. I'd do a race, not do well, resolve to do better--and before you know it I'm riding to train rather than to have fun.

What kind of "training crash" was this? Were you out solo or in a group? Did being in the group have anything to do with the crash? My point is if you were out by yourself and crashed, that can happen to anybody, and I wouldn't see this as a reason to give up racing.

But it you WERE out with a group, and that situation DID contribute to your crash and injury, then maybe it is indeed time to re-think a bit. Perhaps there's some other aspect of cycling competition that would provide you with the same fitness motivation/reward you get now? Randoneering, maybe?

I'm mid-fifties and am long past the stage of thinking I'm lucky/immortal. Taking a chance on serious injury to win bragging rights, a jersey, or a dozen inner tubes just ain't worth it.

BBD

[shovelhd]

What kind of "training crash" was this? Were you out solo or in a group? Did being in the group have anything to do with the crash? My point is if you were out by yourself and crashed, that can happen to anybody, and I wouldn't see this as a reason to give up racing.

But it you WERE out with a group, and that situation DID contribute to your crash and injury, then maybe it is indeed time to re-think a bit. Perhaps there's some other aspect of cycling competition that would provide you with the same fitness motivation/reward you get now? Randoneering, maybe?

That was my question as well. If this was a weekly worlds or hammerfest, I rarely do those anymore. All ego, no brains, and nothing at stake. They're often a poor excuse for training as they are not consistent enough.

If you still have the urge to race, you should race. It's hard to figure it out when you're healing. Take time away from the bike and don't think about it. Your gut will guide you.

I plan on racing until I'm not competitive anymore. I'm still competitive, so I'm still racing. I could get sick of it, or I could find another competitive sport, but for now I haven't found anything that compares to riding and racing.

Good luck.

[rnhood]

All riding carries risk however, in my opinion group training rides carry less that most other. A rider typically maintains focus and concentration in fast group rides - even moderately fast rides. Also less chance of an motor vehicle being involved with a group. Eventually we all change due to age or other so, if its time then don't look back.

[carpediemracing]

I ride so I can race.

Last summer there were weeks where the only ride I did was the Tues Night Race. I wasn't out there to win (although my teammate sort of forced the issue one week (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGrceE6nZn8)), I just enjoy doing as well as I can with what I have. In 2014 I wasn't fit but I still raced. In other years I'm more fit and can do better.

If you are racing only to motivate yourself then I wouldn't race.

However if you enjoy the idea of pinning on a number, lining up on a start line, and seeing how well you can do, then I'd tell you to keep racing.

You owe it to yourself to do an honest, no-BS assessment of why you fell. Not necessarily the physics of it (my bike slid out, duh, stuff like that) but if you made decisions prior to the fall that might have affected things.

If you have a close friend that rides then you can ask them for an honest no-BS assessment as well. Be prepared not to like what you hear.

[carpediemracing]

I forgot to add. I'm 47. Junior turns 3 in about 6 weeks. I've raced every season since 1983. In 2009 I fractured my pelvis, first broken bone. Although I've entered some RR and TT I basically do all crits. For about 10-15 years I was doing 45-55 crits a year (no midweek crits), now it's more like 20-25 if you count Tues Nights.

[FlashUNC]

I'll agree with others. Give it some time.

I had a nasty crash few years back. Docs had to rebuild my elbow basically from scratch. Was off the bike a long time with PT and healing.

I changed some things -- I'm a bigger brake dragger on descents, I avoid the hammerfest cookie rides -- but by and large the love is still there. The benefits far outweigh the possible downsides.

If you're competitive and love to race, give it time and ease back in. Maybe be more selective about the rides and races you do. But you can find a balance that meets all those obligations at home and the fun on the road, I think.

[Ti Designs]

Let's ignore the racing/crashing/injury topic for a while and look at the alternative. Are you going to be happy at a lower fitness level? I don't race, I don't really care to. After 15 years of racing, there isn't a lot left in it for me. I love to ride, being at my fitness level means never having to make excuses or questioning my ability. That's what allows me to do the crazy things I do.

Do not go gently into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Print it on your stem if you must. Getting old sucks, admitting it sucks more.

Just my opinion...

[Frankwurst]

Getting old is great. The alternative sucks.:beer:

[Daveyk]

I've raced every season since 1983.


I don't know you but seriously doubt this is the year you stop. Don't let your current, temporary situation lead to hasty thoughts. Get well soon.

[spiderman]

My surgeon and I both speculate
That the blunt trauma I sustained
Winter bike riding on New Year's Day 2011
Resulted in a diverticular access
That needed emergency surgery
The following July.

I still ride and not timidly...
But it's different.
Last weekend I was very content to come in 8th
On the fat tire race rather than have the bike flawlessly tuned
And hammering on the front.
I rode around 150 miles this week
Down from the 250 average I used to maintain.
Instead of an aggressive solo fifty miler
I had a nice recovery ride
Of about 12 with the dog by my side:)

[aramis]

I forgot to add. I'm 47. Junior turns 3 in about 6 weeks. I've raced every season since 1983. In 2009 I fractured my pelvis, first broken bone. Although I've entered some RR and TT I basically do all crits. For about 10-15 years I was doing 45-55 crits a year (no midweek crits), now it's more like 20-25 if you count Tues Nights.

thats a lot of racing. Maybe take some time off train super hard and come back strong to upgrade?

Don't listen to me though, I just started racing, but I don't know if I could keep at it that many years without a break or changing it up a little.

[Tandem Rider]

I'll jump in here, I've been racing and riding since 1974. I've broken a few bones here and there, had my share of road rash, etc. I've also had a couple of close calls where I was unconscious, not cycling. I came to the realization/rationalization that when your time is up it's up. I'm not going to stop living just because because of "maybe" or "might", nor am I going to sit around watching someone else live a full life, I'm joining in.

[carpediemracing]

warning: long post ahead

I don't know you but seriously doubt this is the year you stop. Don't let your current, temporary situation lead to hasty thoughts. Get well soon.

I'm not the one thinking of stopping! My bad crash was 2009. I spent a lot of time (in a wheelchair and in bed) thinking about things, bought my (first) custom Tsunami Bikes frame, all new HED wheels (1 race set, 2 training sets), joined a new club with a friend, and upgraded for the first time to Cat 2 at the end of 2010.

thats a lot of racing. Maybe take some time off train super hard and come back strong to upgrade?

Don't listen to me though, I just started racing, but I don't know if I could keep at it that many years without a break or changing it up a little.

I think you might have thought I was the OP as well, or in a similar position.

However, I've stayed fresh racing for most/all of those years. I've never wanted to quit racing per se. I've had a number of years where I didn't want to promote races (I've promoted races since 1994, mainly the Bethel Spring Series), but I always, always, always wanted to race.

A big part of it is understanding my limits or managing expectations. I se a lot of riders quit when they hit their developmental plateau mainly because of a combination of genetics (most important), time, and focus. The rider can't accept that they're close to their genetic limits (or sometimes time limits etc) and they stop.

Others also stop because they can't handle racing in a field, have a crash, and stop because they don't understand what happened in the crash. Without understanding why a crash happened (and potentially how to prevent it) it's very easy to become so neurotic about crashing that racing becomes impossible.

I understood my limitations long before powermeters existed. My best 40k TT was a 1:03:30, my fastest ever TT was a 25.5 mph 7 mile effort. In hills I get dropped by M50+ women who don't race but who are fit cyclists (M50+ is a polite way of saying "a 53 year old woman"). I did a 10k mile year early in my life and DNF 44 races or some stupid number that year. I accepted my position as a weaker rider who could sprint and worked with that.

A newer racer asked me why I don't lose a bit more weight and do more RR. I asked him why he didn't lift more and make his 1000w peak a 1500w or 1800w peak. He said that was a bit ridiculous and then realized that he was asking me the same thing, albeit in a different manner. I pointed out that even if I was close to 0% body fat my w/kg number would still be in the 3.6 w/kg range - at ZERO percent body fat, 40+ lbs lighter than I am now. The reality is that I won't be a 4 or 5 w/kg rider, ever. Heck, even if I doped I wouldn't get very far. I understand and accept that. That other racer, it took him a few weeks to assimilate what I said, to accept that it's not realistic for me to be even 4-5 % body fat (he used to be an elite athlete in a different sport - ironically he used to look like a sprinter but raced his bike weighing 60-70 lbs less than he used to weigh) and my FTP is so poor that even a 50% increase (talk about a lot of doping!) would only put me in middling Cat 2 territory.

Another aspect is my Zen approach to a season, if you will. After about 5-10 years of racing I got much more casual about writing off a season. I have an idea of how I'll go for the year based on March and April and if it's not that great then so be it, it's not a big deal. I don't think it's worth it to train like mad to have a good August or whatever. I try to have fun with the racing, do what I can, and think about a better year in the future. In 2014 I barely trained and I had fun until I had 3 DNFs in a row in August. This year I'm almost as light as I was in 2010 and I have a lot of hours (for me) in Dec and Jan. I have no idea what my season will be like but I'll find out in March.

I try to set realistic goals for myself. My last major goal thought was in 2010, when I simply wanted to see how I did. In 2011 I told myself no serious racing until 2017 when my racing age would be M50+, so I essentially wrote off 6 seasons immediately (because we wanted to start a family and I figured only when our kid went to kindergarten would I be able to train a bit). This year I hope to do okay, and if my first races go okay then I'll think about specific target races in the summer.

One thing is my racing has gone up and down naturally with life events and I never really fought these ups and downs. When I was single/dating but otherwise not committed (no kids, no marriage, etc, although I did own a bike shop) I was racing tons, training tons, etc. All my money went into bikes. There were years where things were tougher outside of cycling, like when my mom was sick and then passed on 3 years later. I started that period, 2000-2003, weighing about 155-160. I spent all my free time with my mom (my parents were living overseas when she was diagnosed so she moved in with me for 2+ years - I brought her to all her appointments etc for a while). Toward the end we had round the clock bedside time with her, taking shifts sitting next to her and talking or whatever, and I really didn't think about the bike much. When my mom died I was 215 lbs or so and rode maybe once every 3 weeks, still managing to place here and there (Cat 3 Crit Champ 2002) even though I had to size up my bike (to a size M Giant) so my legs wouldn't hit my gut as hard. I was so fat I didn't recognize myself in a picture from that era.

I promised my mom to win the Bethel Spring Series and the Cat 3 Crit Championships just before she lost awareness of her surroundings. After she died I trained hard again, driven to do well. It took a couple years to win Bethel (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkgmQWyipQo) (two seasons), another year passed before I got the Cat 3 Crit gold medal (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiMfxE14yaQ), but I did it.

I've gotten burnt out on training so I don't do structured training. The last time I did intervals with any regularity was probably 1990 or something, in school. Nowadays most of my attempts at intervals blow up after 20 or 30 seconds. I JRA when I train, do whatever I feel like, I motivate thinking about racing. I train only so I can race.

Over the years I've lost a solid 20% of my top end speed in a sprint. For a few years I've struggled to sprint well against the 3s but I can hold my own with the M45s. I'm starting to accept that and am starting to do more M45 races.

This was the Nutmeg State Games from 2014 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkLKxv7fqhs), same course as the above link from 2006. I missed the break (teammate and former M35 Canadian Cross champ in it - he won), I missed the chase (Frank McCormack, ex-pro, driving it), but I could handle the field sprint. This was the first Saturday of June. On the same course against the 3s I got something like 20th in the field sprint, and I was so far behind the winners I didn't even see what team they raced for.

In terms of training for the above race I actually did very little, due to life stuff. I rode 50 min in the week of June prior to the race. 8 hours in all of May. 7 hours in all of April. I knew I didn't have much training in my legs so I did what I could. I suffered here and there, I took joy every time I could make an effort without shelling myself, and getting to the field sprint was an unexpected bonus. Winning it was an absolute shock.

[numbskull]

To the OP, read CDR's post. Twice.

At 47 with young children, riding or racing can be a tool to help you find, challenge, and accept your limitations. Those are life lessons that will make you a better parent and your children better and happier people. If that is important to you, get back on your bike. If beating others is the goal, move on.

[shovelhd]

To the OP, read CDR's post. Twice.

At 47 with young children, riding or racing can be a tool to help you find, challenge, and accept your limitations. Those are life lessons that will make you a better parent and your children better and happier people. If that is important to you, get back on your bike. If beating others is the goal, move on.

Do you have a problem with winning?

[berserk87]

I'm 46 and quit mass-start racing in 2004 after a crash in a race that left me with an open dislocation of my left elbow. I never figured out who or what caused the crash - 35mph on a downhill that curved into a left turn. I was behind it and had no options. Ambulance ride, surgery and hospital stay.

Having something to train for keeps me motivated and fit. My compromise is that I started doing time trials. I do as many as I reasonably can each year. I used to hate them but have grown to enjoy them.

I am not a great TT'er for a 40k but for shorter distances I am more competitive.

There is also cyclocross racing - but I really stink at it. I mean like dirty diapers in a dumpster in August stinky.

I have 3 kids and have to be at work on Mondays. I have no room for the risk of crit and road racing anymore. I entered my bike racing career with a limited number of lives, orthopedically speaking, due to injuries from football and weightlifting. Cycling is something I love and don't want to lose it.

[Wilkinson4]

I am 47 too and I have had two broken collarbones in the past 2 seasons. The first crash was really bad since I was concussed. I got on the trainer the week after and after about 3 weeks I was chomping at the bit to get back out. I lost 8 pounds leading up to it and did a lot of intervals on the trainer.
Once I got back out I had no fear. I had no endurance but I had a blast with my new found power:)

The second crash I jumped back on the trainer again, my job really started to eat a lot of my time and my goals and motivation shifted. There were times I had to drag myself out. I didn't want to crash, I avoided group rides. I didn't diet at all, I didn't work on my form, technique, or do intervals. It has been harder coming back. But, I just can't see my life without riding. And to ride the way I like I have to get miles in and train.

There are many things that motivate us and make us the riders we are. And I would expect them to change over time. Just like our life experiences change us who we are over time as well.

Compete, health, fitness, to eat whatever you want within reason:-) Give it a few weeks, don't let your triceps speak for you.

And if you want to get back out take the opportunity to get better now. In your riding and life. You can be a parent, rider and adult all at the same time:banana:

mIKE

[guido]

Tom McGuane wrote something interesting about breaking horses that I have always found applicable: “By your late thirties the ground has begun to grow hard. It grows harder and harder until the day that it admits you.” Pavement starts even harder and gets worse...

Keep the rubber side down folks!

[numbskull]

Do you have a problem with winning?

Nope, but by age 47 you shouldn't need winning to maintain your self esteem. There are WAY more important measures in the world for that, particularly if you have children.

Using others to push and test yourself is fine and if you win fairly while doing it, well good for you. If you don't win doing it, well good for you just the same.

I do think, however, that the best people I've known focus on trying to beat their own weaknesses rather than some one else's. For them, an achievement is measured against their own expectation rather than another's defeat.

You disagree?

[shovelhd]

Nope, but by age 47 you shouldn't need winning to maintain your self esteem. There are WAY more important measures in the world for that, particularly if you have children.

Using others to push and test yourself is fine and if you win fairly while doing it, well good for you. If you don't win doing it, well good for you just the same.

I do think, however, that the best people I've known focus on trying to beat their own weaknesses rather than some one else's. For them, an achievement is measured against their own expectation rather than another's defeat.

You disagree?

Your logic is sorta circular. I completely disagree with your first sentence. I completely agree with your second sentence. I don't know where you're going with your third sentence. Defeating others by focusing on their weaknesses is part of competition. It's how you win.

[mecse]

Admittedly a bad time to post/speculate, since I just (yesterday) had a surgical re attachment of 2 of my 3 tricep heads and tendon after tearing off my elbow last week in a pretty bad training crash. So I'm sitting here in pain waiting for the drugs to kick in and thinking out loud...

I'm 47. I've got 3 year old twins to take care of. This type of injury is far from any kind of official "career-ender" (not that I've had one), but I can't help but think this will effect my motivation moving forward.

Is this the sort of 'wake-up call' it takes (or has taken) other folks to slow down and change the dynamic of how/why we ride? Or do we move past things like this and just naturally start slowing down later?
In terms of level of competitiveness I'd say I'm just slightly faster then recreational (Cat 4 working on 3) and view the competition as a benefit to motivate me and improve my fitness- but weighing risks vs benefits I may need to start thinking about things on a more 'adult' level now. And it's bumming me out.

I can totally understand you being bummed out. I'm not at your stage of life, but frankly, I can totally get it. Good to have your priorities in check - you should be pretty proud of thinking of them.

I don't have kids yet. I thought of priorities a while back too when I saw a 70something man get in his wetsuit and go swim a mile across a bay with his 30something daughter. Made me think.

[Joel]

A slightly different perspective for what little is it is worth.

I took my "lumps" at a much earlier age. Twice hit by cars, two bad crashes in my 20's.

Focus on grad school, climbing the corp ladder, raising a family. Stopped racing. Never stopped riding.

Focus change from outward aiming goals (winning races) to inward goals (miles, time, weight - whatever).

Going on age 55. Still riding. Personal challenges included things as diverse riding Alps, mountain biking in Vietnam and getting my old butt on a track properly.

Always a the next challenge yes.

Racing.

Not any more.

Still enjoying it.

Absolutely.

Just one guy's thoughts...

[beeatnik]

Joel, I like your style.

[Chris]

Your logic is sorta circular. I completely disagree with your first sentence. I completely agree with your second sentence. I don't know where you're going with your third sentence. Defeating others by focusing on their weaknesses is part of competition. It's how you win.

Are you saying that a person's self-esteem should be based on whether they are faster than others on a bicycle?

[shovelhd]

Are you saying that a person's self-esteem should be based on whether they are faster than others on a bicycle?

Did I mention anything about self esteem? Ask the other guy who did.

[Chris]

Did I mention anything about self esteem? Ask the other guy who did.

You said you "completely" disagreed with his first sentence which was 'Nope, but by age 47 you shouldn't need winning to maintain your self esteem.'

[shovelhd]

You said you "completely" disagreed with his first sentence which was 'Nope, but by age 47 you shouldn't need winning to maintain your self esteem.'

That wasn't the entire quote, and I disagree a lot more with the second part, but I'll play.

I don't need winning to maintain my self esteem. But maintaining my self esteem is not why I race to win. It's the premise, not the particulars.

[Chris]

That wasn't the entire quote, and I disagree a lot more with the second part, but I'll play.

I don't need winning to maintain my self esteem. But maintaining my self esteem is not why I race to win. It's the premise, not the particulars.

I'm not arguing with you. Just clarifying. you wrote "first sentence." I quoted the first sentence. Glad I was wrong.

[numbskull]

Defeating others by focusing on their weaknesses is part of competition. It's how you win.

You think? Sounds to me as if you've confused dominance with winning.

I'd suggest that improving yourself by focusing on your own weaknesses is how you win.

The other's are only a means to encourage and measure your progress. You both win by competing.

As for dominance, it is a very immature and insecure person who needs victory over others to prove his own worth. The race is internal, not external. Lots of people never realize that.

[shovelhd]

Wow. Sweeping generalizations much? Just what is your agenda?

[numbskull]

I don't need winning to maintain my self esteem. But maintaining my self esteem is not why I race to win. It's the premise, not the particulars.

Nothing wrong with this. Everybody races to win. It is those who race to defeat others that have a problem. But that is their business, not mine.

[aramis]

You think? Sounds to me as if you've confused dominance with winning.

I'd suggest that improving yourself by focusing on your own weaknesses is how you win.

The other's are only a means to encourage and measure your progress. You both win by competing.

As for dominance, it is a very immature and insecure person who needs victory over others to prove his own worth. The race is internal, not external. Lots of people never realize that.


Sounds like the words of a loser. (Just kidding!!!!! It is a joke. I just picture Ricky bobby saying that)


Anyway I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to and striving to win. To win you have to beat whoever shows up that day.

[numbskull]

Sounds like the words of a loser..

EXACTLY. Success and happiness in life is far more about dealing with your losses than savoring your wins. Bike races are small time stuff. Raising children (marriage, job, community) is not. If bike racing makes you a better person do it. If not, move on. Is that so hard to understand?

[carpediemracing]

I agree that improving oneself is a good thing, whether it results in a win or not. I constantly strive to do the best I can with what I have when I line up at a race.

I agree that defeating others is a bit different than winning for oneself. I've finished races where I sprinted unexpectedly well relative to the others, meaning I did a normal sprint but the guys I was worried about didn't produce similar sprints. In some of those situations I've reveled in the fact that I defeated the others, I think because I had conceded defeat before the sprint.

I also agree that you have to consider other racers' weaknesses if you're actually trying to do well in a race. For example if I go into a race hoping to get a top 6 place, I'm going to go for a field sprint. Historically I do well in sprints, I've never made it in a legit break to the finish (I get shelled), and I know I can sprint better than a lot of otherwise-stronger racers.

So literally the only way I can beat them is to beat them in a sprint. In that sense I have to take into account their weaknesses when I think about my strategy. To not do that would be self-defeating. For me, trying to solo away from a 25-27 mph field with my 22-23 mph sustainable speed (after a fast enough jump to get a gap) is illogical at best.

I try to win particular races; others I go for training or to work on particular efforts or to help teammates or various other permutations of those things. I fail to win virtually all the time (32 years x May, June, July, August, September) but it's still part of the game when I line up at the start. For me the first few laps are sort of comedic as I mentally start tossing all the cards that I thought I might be able to play but realize I can't.

"Break? No freakin' way. Gotta kill that fantasy when I'm on the trainer." Toss.
"Maybe the field stays together? Wow, look at those 10 guys ride away from the field." Toss.
"I think I'm good enough to hang near the front. Okay, need to ease up because I'm redlined." Toss.

Repeat until I have two cards left.
"Hang on."
"Wait until the sprint."

I've placed pretty well in races where I've found myself with just those two cards.

I won a field sprint with Shovel's help. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRJrWJ09Mwc) He had no reason to help other than he knew that I'd enjoy a good sprint and a leadout makes a sprint a bit more enjoyable. It's the teamwork even if it's by riders who belong to different teams. My teammate won the race, okay, but I went into the race thinking I would literally last 10 minutes or so. Shovel knew this, encouraged me to see how it went, and lent a hand when the field got to sprint. He could have easily gone for the sprint himself but didn't.

Reverse view of the sprint, i.e. from the line. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opy_kecxZAI) SOC's wife took the video. Shovel's leadout was enough that I really didn't have to dig hard to win the sprint.

Shovel also worked the Cat 5 clinics at the Bethel Spring Series (http://bethelspringseries.com/clinic/2013-clinic-info), for free, screwing up his day (he lives a few hours away and he needed to be at the venue at 7:45 or so, and his races started at 11 something), for 7 weeks a year for three years. I comp'ed his team his entry, not him, so he effectively got nothing for being an instructor (at least the other instructors would have normally paid their own entry). The payback? All the great comments I got about him as an instructor from Cat 5s (and later 4s and even 3s as they upgraded) about how helpful he was in showing them some good tips and tricks for racing. I trusted him to run the clinic if I couldn't do it. He's about as giving a racer as a racer can be.

[numbskull]

I promised my mom to win the Bethel Spring Series and the Cat 3 Crit Championships just before she lost awareness of her surroundings. After she died I trained hard again, driven to do well. It took a couple years to win Bethel (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkgmQWyipQo) (two seasons), another year passed before I got the Cat 3 Crit gold medal (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiMfxE14yaQ), but I did it..

CDR, this is what I am talking about. Winning those races had nothing to do with wanting to beat other people. It had everything to do with overcoming the loss of your mother. Outsmarting others to do it is just part of the process, much less part of the reward.

Likewise, Shovelhead leading you out has nothing to do with overcoming others, it has everything to do helping someone else.

Competition can bring out the best and worst in people. If we choose to compete it is worth considering what it brings out in us. That point, I think, is central to the issue posed by the OP.

[Uncle Jam's Army]

I just turned 48 last month. I did a lot of racing in the 80's, starting racing again in 2011, stopped because my new job didn't let me train during the week and weekend mileage simply wasn't enough to stay fit.

Started racing again in 2013, had my season cut short by a crash in training (I ran into a pylon in a construction zone) causing a back injury. Started training again in the Fall once my back healed, and did a lot of races early season and started to feel really good about my form (even got my first top 10 since the 80's) when in late April/early May I suffered a knee injury due to overdoing it in my training schedule.

Shortly before and after my knee injury, I saw some nasty crashes in the Masters age group I race in by very experienced riders. My friend had one particularly bad crash, breaking his hip and his pelvis. Caused me to think long and hard why I race at my age (I have a wife and two boys).

I guess it comes down to I like riding . . . a lot. And I like to be able to feel like I can power up a small hill, rather than just suffer up it, bob and weave up it. That makes me feel great, invigorated, much better than struggling up it when I'm out of shape. I started up training again in October, after my knee healed up, and I've been doing this Saturday hammerfest ride since November. Every week I'm getting stronger and seeing improvement, and it makes me feel great. Next Saturday I want to see how much more I can improve from yesterday's effort. Might even do my first race of the year on Sunday.

I've never been very good at the racing part of it, very rarely jumping up and getting a good result. But its the racing part of cycling (and training for racing) that allows me to experience that certain exercise induced euphoria that feels so great to me. Don't get me wrong, I love doing rides where its all about JRA and enjoying the scenery, and do those, too, on occasion. But if I only did those enjoy the scenery rides, I have no doubt I would slip out of shape, gain weight, and feel miserable. Nor are there other sports I could do that I like to stay fit. My bad back makes running and certain other sports impossible.

I know there is a crash waiting for me down the road and, unlike the crashes I had when I was a younger man, recovering from them now at 48 is much harder for me. However, I accept that risk in order to get what I need out of racing. I try to minimize that risk as much as possible by riding smart and safe, keeping my front wheel out of bad situations, and always try to have an exit available when in a pack. But there is no denying the risk is always there.

My buddy who broke his hip and pelvis started doing the Saturday hammerfest ride again at about the same time I returned in November. I told him I had a lot of respect for him because it takes a lot to get up off the ground after a fall like that and come back to do it again. I would not have thought any less of him if he didn't come back after that fall. He was in a wheelchair for a long time and missed a lot of work, causing financial issues at home. That's enough to make anyone think long and hard before pinning a number on again.

To the OP, I wish you a speedy recovery, and I hope your self-exploration about why you ride/race gives you the answers you are searching. I apologize for the lengthy, rambling post.

[shovelhd]

Great post UJA. Good luck this season.

[Uncle Jam's Army]

Thanks shovelhd! A great season to you as well.