OT Mixed Feelings

[Len J]

As some of you may remember, I posted several months ago about my son getting his second DUI and my feelings about it and what i was going to do.

I had decided to let him deal with the consequences as an adult (He is 24) and not bail him out.

Well, today was the date of the trial. The prosecutor has the reputation of being a real Hard a@@. My son has been visibly worried as the trial approached and had become resigned to his fate. Prior to the trial, the judge, the Prosecutor, the defense attorney and the 2 cops had a private conference......My son was left to ponder........

The verdict was a reduced sentence of reckless driving, 1 year probation and a small fine. Apparently, according to the defense attorney, the 2 cops came out on my son's behalf based on the way he has behaved both the night of the incident and in investigative conversations since. They believed that he was taking responsibility for his own actions, was not "blaming the messengers" and all in all they were impressed with the maturity and seriousness with which he seemed to be approaching the whole thing....the hard a@@ prosecutor agreed wholeheartedly.

My son seems to have gotten the message....I want to believe that, but frankly, am sceptical that dodging consequences is in his own best interests. He and I had a real heart to heart after the verdict and, like I said, he seems to have got it......I pray that this "scare" is permanent.

Len

[Spectrum Bob]

Len,
Good news – I hope and pray he stays sober one day at a time and that the experience helps your relationship with each other soar to new heights.
Bob.

[Len J]

Len,
Good news – I hope and pray he stays sober one day at a time and that the experience helps your relationship with each other soar to new heights.
Bob.

I know you're there...thanks, it means much.

Len

[OldDog]

Len - sounds like you got a good boy there. We all screw up once in a while, some of us more than once, but we learn from our mistakes. A monthly trip to the probation officer for a year will sink in soon enough. I'm sure he realizes a 3rd time and his goose is cooked. That thought should be enough to keep him on the straight and narrow. My boy is now 29 and went through the drinking thing, lasted more than his college years. One DUI set him straight, as the second one will send him the klink for a minimum of 90 days. He still drinks, but responsibly, i.e. with family and friends over pizza and not parking his mouth under the tap.

It's tough being a dad, eh?

Take care.

[Len J]

It's tough being a dad, eh?

Take care.

Kids are God's revenge.......at least in my case.

Thanks

Len

[Ray]

Kids are God's revenge.......at least in my case.

Thanks

Len

Len,

I'm glad it seems good in the short run and hope, along with you, that he learns from it for the long haul. As for kids being revenge, maybe he's just been trying to live up to your sig line?

-Ray

[OldDog]

Kids are God's revenge.......at least in my case.

Thanks

Len



Them little angels...

[rePhil]

Len,

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I ask myself what is the right thing(s) to do in cases like this. You are a good dad.
We have one that has had his fair warnings. Seems like nothing we say is right.I hope he comes to his senses, and quick.

[93legendti]

As some of you may remember, I posted several months ago about my son getting his second DUI and my feelings about it and what i was going to do.

I had decided to let him deal with the consequences as an adult (He is 24) and not bail him out.

Well, today was the date of the trial. The prosecutor has the reputation of being a real Hard a@@. My son has been visibly worried as the trial approached and had become resigned to his fate. Prior to the trial, the judge, the Prosecutor, the defense attorney and the 2 cops had a private conference......My son was left to ponder........

The verdict was a reduced sentence of reckless driving, 1 year probation and a small fine. Apparently, according to the defense attorney, the 2 cops came out on my son's behalf based on the way he has behaved both the night of the incident and in investigative conversations since. They believed that he was taking responsibility for his own actions, was not "blaming the messengers" and all in all they were impressed with the maturity and seriousness with which he seemed to be approaching the whole thing....the hard a@@ prosecutor agreed wholeheartedly.

My son seems to have gotten the message....I want to believe that, but frankly, am sceptical that dodging consequences is in his own best interests. He and I had a real heart to heart after the verdict and, like I said, he seems to have got it......I pray that this "scare" is permanent.

Len

Show him this article:

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2006603160592.

I still remember the day this happened, my wife was in her car with our then 2 year old. At first they announced on the radio that a mother and young child had been killed--and I couldn't get thru to my wife's cell immediately....

[Len J]

Show him this article:

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2006603160592.

I still remember the day this happened, my wife was in her car with our then 2 year old. At first they announced on the radio that a mother and young child had been killed--and I couldn't get thru to my wife's cell immediately....


My biggest fear is that he dies in a wreck.
My second is that he hurts someone else.

I took him out with a friend of mine who is a state cop, on a Friday Night ride around. We were first on the scene of 2 wrecks caused by Driving under the influence. In both cases there were fatalities. He went along on the family notifications. I think it hit him hard.

But, you can lead a horse to water, you can't make him drink.

Len

[Hysbrian]

why there are not harsher punishments for DUIs

[Fixed]

bro people can change no one was worse than me when i was young but i never had a car . cheers :beer:

[Dave B]

My biggest fear is that he dies in a wreck.
My second is that he hurts someone else.

I took him out with a friend of mine who is a state cop, on a Friday Night ride around. We were first on the scene of 2 wrecks caused by Driving under the influence. In both cases there were fatalities. He went along on the family notifications. I think it hit him hard.

But, you can lead a horse to water, you can't make him drink.

Len



The night before I turned 16 my mom took me to the ER and we sat there all night and watched people come in that had been injured and/or killed in DUI wrecks.

She never said a word to me that night. When it was midnight she looked at me and told me she loved me. We went home and I have never, and I mean never driven after having a single drop of alcohol.

I am a teacher and I see kids miss and get points everyday!

Never give up on a child no matter how old they are.

Good dads help their kids celebrate the triumphs, but great dads are also there to scoop them up when they fall down.


Keep the faith brother!

[BumbleBeeDave]

If you truly believe he did take responsibility for his actions that night and did the right thing, then tell him and give him as much positive reinforcement as possible on that score. But also make sure he knows that he will definitely not get as good a deal if it ever happens again. There's not much more you can do.

BBD

[Fixed]

amen bro

[Climb01742]

i saw a neat thing on the news last night. it was about putting cameras in cars to record what happens out the front windshield and what happens in the car. some cities are requiring them now in cabs, and some commercial bus companies are putting them in their buses. and some parents are installing them in their cars when their teenagers first get their licences.

one bus company exec said they reduced traffic accidents 60% after putting the cameras in their buses. fascinating, eh? people drive stupidly, at least in part, because they think no one will ever know how stupidly they drive.

here's an idea: after your first DUI, you must install one of these cameras in your car for, what?, a year? there will be visual evidence of your behavior. like having your mom in the front seat with you all the time. bet that would help, eh? ;)

[Kevin]

Len,

Best of luck in a dificult situation.

Kevin

[William]

Len,

As someone who has been close to that before, you're doing your best and that's all you can do. Ultimately the decision must must be his. If he is ready to change, he will. If not, you've done your best.

Hang in there, we're all with you.


William

[Mikej]

Good news he didn't kill anybody....What a crock of cr@p.......DUI is unacceptable. Sorry, if somebody you knew was killed by one you would know.

[gary135r]

Kids are God's revenge.......at least in my case.

Thanks

Len

that's why we like spoiling the Grandkids. Our revenge. :D

[gary135r]

Good news he didn't kill anybody....What a crock of cr@p.......DUI is unacceptable. Sorry, if somebody you knew was killed by one you would know.
I am not religious but, "he who has not sinned throw the first stone".
We all a regret the pain that drunk driving brings, but a man thankful that his son was able to not get in serious trouble, not harm anyone, and learn a lesson is not to be railed against. imho