OT. Dog Poop

[Bill Bove]

So I'm walking home from picking up my dinner last night and I meet up with my nabor, an attractive blonde, who was walking her dogs. We start walking together and talking about all kinds of things when one of her dogs does what he was being walked for. She pulls the bag out of her pocket and picks up after him. Should I have been a gentleman and done that for her? What would Emily Post say? Did I blow any chances I may have had?

[William]

So I'm walking home from picking up my dinner last night and I meet up with my nabor, an attractive blonde, who was walking her dogs. We start walking together and talking about all kinds of things when one of her dogs does what he was being walked for. She pulls the bag out of her pocket and picks up after him. Should I have been a gentleman and done that for her? What would Emily Post say? Did I blow any chances I may have had?

You should have taken off your jacket (or shirt) and laid on top of the poop so she could walk over it. Then wipe up what's left. That's what any REAL gentleman would do......unless of course your were wearing a Fat Cat jersey, in which case she's on her own.

Just saying,


William ;)

[BumpyintheBurgh]

Emily Post says "If you really wanted to make a lasting impression on this attractive blonde, you should have bare-handed it, put it in your pocket and casually invited her over for dinner."

[Fixed]

bro i.m.h.o. woman are as strong as you now this ain't the 50's cheers :beer:

[Tailwinds]

Should I have been a gentleman and done that for her?

That would be weird.

[Ginger]

Dude...you did fine. Offering to pick up would just be strange. Casual meeting: Her dog, her dog poop. You didn't have a spare baggie in your pocket anyhow did you? If you did, you'd get placed in the "helpful, but strange" category...with some sort of strange fetish...besides, do you know what to do with it once you pick it up?

She invites you to come walk her dogs with her, then yeah, offer pooper duty when you start out...ask instructions for what to do with it once you've "got it"

Another alternative is when you "casually" run into her walking her dogs again, ask HER what she thinks is proper...it will give you something to talk about and show you as the sensitive, concerned, helpful guy you really are.

[davids]

bro i.m.h.o. woman are as strong as you now this ain't the 50's cheers :beer:
word

[manet]

So I'm walking home from picking up my dinner last night and I meet up with my nabor, an attractive blonde, who was walking her dogs. We start walking together and talking about all kinds of things when one of her dogs does what he was being walked for. She pulls the bag out of her pocket and picks up after him. Should I have been a gentleman and done that for her? What would Emily Post say? Did I blow any chances I may have had?

instant classic

[Kevan]

if she is walking her elephants.

[Ozz]

Her dog....her dog poop.

If she had not picked it up, you should have reminded her to.

[bcm119]

You should have grabbed some and yelled "dog poop fight" and started throwing it. That would have broken the ice a little and showed her how spontaneous you are... women love spontaneity. ;)

[eddief]

Were both you and the blonde out doing the same thing?

I have this image of you out for a walk, bending over and "picking up your dinner."

Sorry.

[Too Tall]

What would Sandy do?

[spiderman]

sometimes i bring a bag with me...
...but i have my dog trained
to go in 'free territory'...
...the wilds of the rural bike trail system
in the tall grass.
i just don't pick it up.
i'm impressed that this woman did
and i'm sure if you picked it up now
it would commit you
until you're an old man.
she might have thought you
very forward and presumptuous
to step in
and tamper in such a 'fecal matter'...

[BumbleBeeDave]

. . . would catch it in the bag before it hit the ground.

BBD

[fiamme red]

I'm reminded of a Far Side cartoon. A man is taking his pet alligator for a walk in the park (don't worry, it's on a leash). A woman is holding a leash with the end in one side of the alligator's mouth, and a poodle's tail sticking out the other side of its mouth, and she screams, "Aaaaa!...That thing has got my Gigi!"; while the man has a big goofy grin on his face as he thinks, "Man, this is such a great way to meet women."

[lnomalley]

good taste dictates that you drop trou and poop as well. if it's love she'll handle your business too.

[Ken Robb]

Depending on your ultimate goal you may have done the right thing. About 3.5 years ago I started dating a lady with 2 Bichon Frises (small fluufy somewhat dog-like creatures). Being little dogs they need frequent walks. I never picked up the poop------then. Come 4/23/06 we will celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary and I get to pick up LOTS of poop now.

[scrooge]

...She pulls the bag out of her pocket and picks up after him. ...
Every time I think I want a dog I see someone do this and no that its just not for me.
By the way: people who do not pick up after their dogs are pure evil. There's a bike/walking trail near us that always has dog turds all over it. Nasty.

[Ken Robb]

aren't we glad the horse and buggy were replaced by "clean" automobiles. It's all relative.

[Argos]

I think if it's deep in the Tall grass or in some impossible to reach place under a bush, that's fine too. But I always pick up when it's on someone's lawn.

No other situation applies to my dog because he won't go unless it's on dirt or grass, though I did see a lady one out walking a dog you could fit in a shoe-box. It stopped in the road, about 4 feet from the curb, made pellets and walked off. She left it! This is a residential neighborhood. Kids are gonna be playing there. I said stuff to her and she acted first like she didn't hear me and then like I was putting her out.

What a biotch.

[Erik.Lazdins]

This thread would have been a great Seinfeld episode!

Jerry are you reading?

[Ginger]

Spiderman, I'm not sqeemish, and I luv ya, but there is NOTHING WORSE than stepping back off a bike trail (say, to pull your flatted bike out of the path of oncoming riders) and stepping into a pile of Doggy doo. Think about it...mountain bikers wear shoes with deep tread...and cleats. That doo gets into cracks and crevices in the shoes and is a bugger to get out.

I stepped into some in North Carolina that just reeked. We finally stopped in a carwash so the boys could hose down their bikes and I used the power washer on the tread and cleats (and my pedals). Stunk up the WHOLE car wash. People were gagging it smelled so bad...The shoes never recovered. They continued to stink like that until I threw them out.

[Kevan]

mud.

[JohnS]

The plastic tube bags that the local newspapers come in are perfect for that. On COLD winter mornings, the warmth they give out keeps your fingers from freezing. :D

[andy mac]

Spiderman, I'm not sqeemish, and I luv ya, but there is NOTHING WORSE than stepping back off a bike trail (say, to pull your flatted bike out of the path of oncoming riders) and stepping into a pile of Doggy doo. Think about it...mountain bikers wear shoes with deep tread...and cleats. That doo gets into cracks and crevices in the shoes and is a bugger to get out.

I stepped into some in North Carolina that just reeked. We finally stopped in a carwash so the boys could hose down their bikes and I used the power washer on the tread and cleats (and my pedals). Stunk up the WHOLE car wash. People were gagging it smelled so bad...The shoes never recovered. They continued to stink like that until I threw them out.



i'm with you.

you think your sheeet don't stink?

[Bud]

Should I have been a gentleman and done that for her?

That would've been really weird. I agree that you'd have been categorized as "helpful but strange."

[scrooge]

This thread would have been a great Seinfeld episode!

Jerry are you reading?


"Ma-nure: You have your ma--which is good--and "nure"--also good. What's not to like about it?"
Paraphrasing George K.

[JohnS]

Dogs whose owners don't pick up after them deserve better owners.

[EPOJoe]

. . . would catch it in the bag before it hit the ground.

BBD
That's exactly what I do. I have one of those pooper scooper type shovels they sell at the pet store. I slip a plastic grocery bag over the business end of the shovel before a walk, and when one of my two dogs assumes the position, I just slide the shovel under there, and catch the nasty stuff before it hits the ground. Just pull off the bag from the back end, flip it inside out and into the outside trash after the walk. :banana:

[Ken Robb]

and if you're attacked by an alligator you have a weapon.

[spiderman]

Spiderman, I'm not sqeemish, and I luv ya, but there is NOTHING WORSE than stepping back off a bike trail (say, to pull your flatted bike out of the path of oncoming riders) and stepping into a pile of Doggy doo. Think about it...mountain bikers wear shoes with deep tread...and cleats. That doo gets into cracks and crevices in the shoes and is a bugger to get out.

I stepped into some in North Carolina that just reeked. We finally stopped in a carwash so the boys could hose down their bikes and I used the power washer on the tread and cleats (and my pedals). Stunk up the WHOLE car wash. People were gagging it smelled so bad...The shoes never recovered. They continued to stink like that until I threw them out.


i don't adapt to change very easily,
but i'm committed to bagging droppings from now on...
...that's pretty vivid...
and i think i can smell it from here.
my wife will never understand
how/what/why i've changed
...thanks for finding words...

[BumpyintheBurgh]

Last night, my wife and I are at the dinner table. Our 16 year old incontinent, blind and deaf pooch is sitting next to the table. He get into the pooping position, it's too late to get to the door, I quick grab a napkin and slide it on the floor under his rear and catch his load before it hits the floor.
Deposit it outside in a plastic bag, wash my hands and go back to my meal.
It's a ***** getting old for both dogs and people. If we live long enough we begin in diapers and end in diapers, pooping to pooping. He has had a good live. We still love him and always will. My dog Mickey.

[72gmc]

One day while riding I noticed a woman that was very attractive, and also in the act of picking up after her dog. At the time I wondered how weird I was to ogle a woman picking up poop... now I'm not sure if I should be relieved that you did the same thing or not!

[Fixed]

bro my cat that i found as a kitten on a run I was makin, came home in the messenger bag she's all black and sickly she eats and vomits I clean up after her daily .I have had her for a couple of years now I have to feed her small amounts of food at a time . she is right next to me now cheers :beer:

[EPOJoe]

bro my cat that i found as a kitten on a run I was makin, came home in the messenger bag she's all black and sickly she eats and vomits I clean up after her daily .I have had her for a couple of years now I have to feed her small amounts of food at a time . she is right next to me now cheers :beer:
My cat, who coincidentally is also black and was found as a skin and bones stray, does the exact same thing, Fixed. We tried switching around through different types of foods, and have managed to find a few types he can keep down fairly well, but every so often he goes back into his puking routine. Vet says it may be food allergies, but who knows. After eight years, we’ve managed to fatten and healthy him up pretty well.

[darylb]

So I'm walking home from picking up my dinner last night and I meet up with my nabor, an attractive blonde, who was walking her dogs. We start walking together and talking about all kinds of things when one of her dogs does what he was being walked for. She pulls the bag out of her pocket and picks up after him. Should I have been a gentleman and done that for her? What would Emily Post say? Did I blow any chances I may have had?


I think it depends on how hot she is.

And what kind of dog. Size matters.

[Fixed]

My cat, who coincidentally is also black and was found as a skin and bones stray, does the exact same thing, Fixed. We tried switching around through different types of foods, and have managed to find a few types he can keep down fairly well, but every so often he goes back into his puking routine. Vet says it may be food allergies, but who knows. After eight years, we’ve managed to fatten and healthy him up pretty well.
thanks bro she rules the house she stands her ground with our dogs and won't let them in her part of the house .our dogs are pretty nice though.
cheers :beer:

[manet]

.

[toaster]

I've got this all figured out after reading what everybody else has opined and applying my own sensibilities to the matter.

First, you were correct in not picking up the poop. It would have made you somehow weaker in her eyes this early in the game. Just because she picks up poop shouldn't ruin your fantasy of having your way with her later. Dude, forget about it or you will see her in your mind's eye standing there holding dog sh*tt when you're about to do intimate things with her later if your luck holds.

Also, you had your dinner in your hands that you were bringing home. Women would have automatically realized that you don't handle poop and dinner simultaneously.

Guess what, you get to keep your Man Card.

[manet]

reading material:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://web.weeklyworldnews.com/images/wwn/208388/48608.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/science/61485&h=236&w=200&sz=12&tbnid=kDA4yE-4frma-M:&tbnh=104&tbnw=88&hl=en&start=201&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddog%2B%2B%2B%2Bpoop%26start%3D200%26s vnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN

[Louis]

This thread gets my vote as

Non-Bike Related Thread of the Year

[Chad Engle]

poops ANYWHERE other than your yard, please pick it up. That is almost as annoying as letting your dog bark, outside, all night. Not an answer to the original question, but stray poop grenades ruin the out of doors.

[EPOJoe]

Had a neighbor here who had a dog with a spinal injury, so the pooch had to ambulate in one of those two wheeled carts that supported his back end. Every night, they’d walk the dog, and due to the cart, he couldn’t really wander off the sidewalk. Every morning there’d be a fresh trail of feces running straight down the middle of the sidewalk. Since they never picked it up, and everyone felt too self conscious to chastise the owner of the paralyzed dog, until the dog’s recent death, we had sidewalks paved with poop here. Never had to worry about stepping in it though. Just stay off the sidewalk and you were okay.

[BumbleBeeDave]

<<That's exactly what I do. I have one of those pooper scooper type shovels they sell at the pet store. I slip a plastic grocery bag over the business end of the shovel before a walk, and when one of my two dogs assumes the position, I just slide the shovel under there, and catch the nasty stuff before it hits the ground. Just pull off the bag from the back end, flip it inside out and into the outside trash after the walk.>>

That's really talented! But I think the real question here is if you can do that for Sandy while we're riding at Smiley's in May . . . ;) :rolleyes: :eek:

BBD

[EPOJoe]

<<That's exactly what I do. I have one of those pooper scooper type shovels they sell at the pet store. I slip a plastic grocery bag over the business end of the shovel before a walk, and when one of my two dogs assumes the position, I just slide the shovel under there, and catch the nasty stuff before it hits the ground. Just pull off the bag from the back end, flip it inside out and into the outside trash after the walk.>>

That's really talented! But I think the real question here is if you can do that for Sandy while we're riding at Smiley's in May . . . ;) :rolleyes: :eek:

BBD
I’ll take a pass on catching for Sandy, Dave, but I’ll give it a try with any game attractive blonde females who’d like to volunteer. :D

[LJohnny]

So instead of starting a new thread.....

I have a repeating offender neighbour that doesn't pick after.
What do you guys do or would do? My guess this happens early in the morning. I am super busy before the day in the mornings so i don't think i can sort of catch him/her red handed.

This obviously gets me going. Not only disrespectful, but not kind from a public health POV.
.....

[Louis]

Tell them that you don't appreciate the "gifts" being left by their dog.

[thirdgenbird]

So instead of starting a new thread.....

I have a repeating offender neighbour that doesn't pick after.
What do you guys do or would do? My guess this happens early in the morning. I am super busy before the day in the mornings so i don't think i can sort of catch him/her red handed.

This obviously gets me going. Not only disrespectful, but not kind from a public health POV.
.....

Follow behind them, pick it up in a bag, and then say "hey you dropped this".

The second they turn around to look, toss it to them underhanded, not in a mean manner, but forceful enough that they have to work at it not hitting them. Sorta like you would if a friend dropped his keys.

[thwart]

Funny to see we've gone from a phonetic spelling of neighbor to the proper English spelling… :cool:

Some (not me of course…) might move the stuff over to the yard of the owner.

[Louis]

You could use a funnelator...

Some (not me of course…) might move the stuff over to the yard of the owner.

http://www.concordmonitor.com/csp/mediapool/sites/dt.common.streams.StreamServer.cls?STREAMOID=bLM6o Bpz6CqYJUuBnMcjZs$daE2N3K4ZzOUsqbU5sYsO$j1nPCp3aWh xv6N02h84WCsjLu883Ygn4B49Lvm9bPe2QeMKQdVeZmXF$9l$4 uCZ8QDXhaHEp3rvzXRJFdy0KqPHLoMevcTLo3h8xh70Y6N_U_C ryOsw6FTOdKL_jpQ-&CONTENTTYPE=image/jpeg

[LJohnny]

The thing is that I've been trying to catch him/her for a while. Video camera would be the solution.

Good excuse to get the shimano bike cam... :-)

.....

[MattTuck]

I believe this is the story the founder of dropcam uses. Dog was pooping in his parents' yard, and no good solution existed so he invented Dropcam.

There are a number of ways you can figure out who it is, if you don't want to use the camera approach.

Put radioactive dust down in your grass, and then use a geiger-counter to trace the footsteps back to their home. Do the same but use paint instead...

Set up a motion detector hooked up to an air horn.

Hire a private investigator.

In the meantime, I'd collect all the deposits and use this time to think up the best revenge possible.

[flydhest]

funny blast from the past. I just happen to be wearing a Fat Cat Bicycles t-shirt today.

[LJohnny]

Or take blood samples and do molecular bio analysis. That would be the 100% accurate. :screwy:

.....

[CunegoFan]

In the meantime, I'd collect all the deposits and use this time to think up the best revenge possible.

A friend of mine was in a situation like this. The offending neighbor had a swimming pool...

[BumbleBeeDave]

Yeah.

;)

[Louis]

http://www.survivinggrady.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/caddyshack2.jpg

[Netdewt]

So I'm walking home from picking up my dinner last night and I meet up with my nabor, an attractive blonde, who was walking her dogs. We start walking together and talking about all kinds of things when one of her dogs does what he was being walked for. She pulls the bag out of her pocket and picks up after him. Should I have been a gentleman and done that for her? What would Emily Post say? Did I blow any chances I may have had?

Did it ever work out with the blonde?

[Birddog]

Paper sack on fire with the evidence contained therein on the offenders doorstep. Don't forget to ring the bell.

[mcteague]

This has got to be the strangest question ever asked on this forum. Somehow I missed it way back when first posted. That it has come back to life is equally odd. I clean up after my own dogs but it would NEVER occur to me to offer to pick up another person's dog droppings regardless of how attractive they were.

Tim

[oldpotatoe]

So I'm walking home from picking up my dinner last night and I meet up with my nabor, an attractive blonde, who was walking her dogs. We start walking together and talking about all kinds of things when one of her dogs does what he was being walked for. She pulls the bag out of her pocket and picks up after him. Should I have been a gentleman and done that for her? What would Emily Post say? Did I blow any chances I may have had?

yer kidding, right? this is the 21st century last time I checked..let her pick up after her own dog...

Emily Post has cats...they are civilized enough to poop on their own, in their own place, just like you and she does.

[shovelhd]

···

[eippo1]

The thing is that I've been trying to catch him/her for a while. Video camera would be the solution.

Good excuse to get the shimano bike cam... :-)

.....

Video camera would work, but what are you gonna do with it? I guess you could have a neighborhood viewing :P

You could ask for a city ordinance sign (most have laws in place and will put up a sign near parks etc.) or put out your own if it's on your lawn.

[Saint Vitus]

yer kidding, right? this is the 21st century last time I checked..let her pick up after her own dog...

Emily Post has cats...they are civilized enough to poop on their own, in their own place, just like you and she does.

Except the ones roaming around outside, they use your child's sandbox or your squarefoot garden...

[Saint Vitus]

Did it ever work out with the blonde?

Must have and possibly very well, he hasn't been on the forum in 5 years...

[BirkWinn]

You should of put some on a stick and chased her around saying "DOO DOO I'm going to put DOO DOO on you"

If she didn't find that amusing then she's stuck up and selfish and you don't want her in your life

[msl819]

You should of put some on a stick and chased her around saying "DOO DOO I'm going to put DOO DOO on you"

If she didn't find that amusing then she's stuck up and selfish and you don't want her in your life

This is as amusing as anything I have read all day... thanks! DOO DOO I'm going to put DOO DOO on you - classic!

[LJohnny]

Video camera would work, but what are you gonna do with it? I guess you could have a neighborhood viewing :P

You could ask for a city ordinance sign (most have laws in place and will put up a sign near parks etc.) or put out your own if it's on your lawn.

Well the idea is that I haven't actually identified the culprit. There are several dog owners in the area (5+) that walk their dogs around. Having the incident on film would be a way to say: "Hey, I have you on film not picking up after your dog." And it can be shown to the health dept as evidence. Otherwise how could you prove it to anyone? Even if you see it in person, it would be one person's word against the other's....

[ColonelJLloyd]

Well the idea is that I haven't actually identified the culprit. There are several dog owners in the area (5+) that walk their dogs around. Having the incident on film would be a way to say: "Hey, I have you on film not picking up after your dog." And it can be shown to the health dept as evidence. Otherwise how could you prove it to anyone? Even if you see it in person, it would be one person's word against the other's....

Just last week I was mowing my lawn and had stopped to empty the grass catcher. A guy was walking by with his little dog and I said "hi" in a neighborly way, not twenty feet from the guy. I had a feeling so I walked to where he and his dog crossed the street from my property to find his dog's turds right where my wife walks around her car from buckling up our daughter every morning.

I yelled "Hey!" and got the guy's attention. He stopped and lowered his head like a coward. I said, "Did your dog just **** in my yard!?" He knew it was about to get weird.

He walked towards the turd and I said, "Do you even have a bag?". He shook his head shamefully. I mean, what an asshole. He had no intention of ever picking up after his dog. He asked me if he could kick it into the street. My blood was about to boil and I told him he was going to stand right there and I'd get a bag from the house if we had one. I watched this jerk pick it up and told him to take that bag to his own house and if I saw him put it in a neighbor's trash he would regret it. He's lucky I didn't make him pick up the **** with his teeth. Demeaning a guy older than my father is not how I like to spend my time, but this guy deserved it.

[rePhil]

Slight thread drift....does anyone know the whereabouts of the original poster, Bill Bove?
He use to be a regular here and if I remember correctly opened a bike shop in Florida, documenting his progress.

[LJohnny]

Believe me, it makes my blood boil too. I would take the same approach as you just did. Isn't this type of behavior the ultimate "I don't give a damn about you" message?
Just last week I was mowing my lawn and had stopped to empty the grass catcher. A guy was walking by with his little dog and I said "hi" in a neighborly way, not twenty feet from the guy. I had a feeling so I walked to where he and his dog crossed the street from my property to find his dog's turds right where my wife walks around her car from buckling up our daughter every morning.

I yelled "Hey!" and got the guy's attention. He stopped and lowered his head like a coward. I said, "Did your dog just **** in my yard!?" He knew it was about to get weird.

He walked towards the turd and I said, "Do you even have a bag?". He shook his head shamefully. I mean, what an asshole. He had no intention of ever picking up after his dog. He asked me if he could kick it into the street. My blood was about to boil and I told him he was going to stand right there and I'd get a bag from the house if we had one. I watched this jerk pick it up and told him to take that bag to his own house and if I saw him put it in a neighbor's trash he would regret it. He's lucky I didn't make him pick up the **** with his teeth. Demeaning a guy older than my father is not how I like to spend my time, but this guy deserved it.

[fiamme red]

Slight thread drift....does anyone know the whereabouts of the original poster, Bill Bove?
He use to be a regular here and if I remember correctly opened a bike shop in Florida, documenting his progress.He used to own Fat Cat Bicycles in Lake Worth, now called Relentless Bicycles: http://relentlessbicycles.com/theshop/

[choricoff]

So instead of starting a new thread.....

I have a repeating offender neighbour that doesn't pick after.
What do you guys do or would do? My guess this happens early in the morning. I am super busy before the day in the mornings so i don't think i can sort of catch him/her red handed.

This obviously gets me going. Not only disrespectful, but not kind from a public health POV.
.....

I read a funny suggestion for this on Reddit a while ago. (http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t6vti/i_bacon_greased_up_some_dog_turds_to_solve_a/) The solution was to pour some bacon grease on the poo so that the next time the dog comes by, it gobbles it up and hopefully pukes it up on its owner's floor.

I'm not sure I would do this unless there was a way to ensure that the offending dog eats the bacon feces since I'd feel bad if a different dog with a more responsible owner became the victim.

[11.4]

Hmmm. Resuscitates an eight-year-old thread? Extends it to ... fifteen????? ... pages? And brings Ginger out of the closet? At first I thought it was really time to call the FBI about this bunch. Then I realized it wasn't about dog poop at all. It was about an attractive blonde neighbor.

I guess I was slow, and I even read all fifteen pages, looking for the meaning of life. Or the meaning of poop. Keep at it, boys.

[Johnnyg]

So I'm walking home from picking up my dinner last night and I meet up with my nabor, an attractive blonde, who was walking her dogs. We start walking together and talking about all kinds of things when one of her dogs does what he was being walked for. She pulls the bag out of her pocket and picks up after him. Should I have been a gentleman and done that for her? What would Emily Post say? Did I blow any chances I may have had?

You should have pooped also and had her pick it up.

[William]

I'm just glad no monkeys were involved!

http://viralgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/2-Monkey-Riding-a-Bike.gif






William