Availability To Ride

[kgrooney]

Hello All,

For those who read my post the other day regarding my attempts to regain my fitness since the birth of my second child, ( I now have a one and two year old ), know I've been busting my butt on the stationary trainer three times a week and getting out weather permitting since November.

Last night I was told by the boss ( wife ) that it's too difficult for her to prepare dinner, clean up afterward, etc, etc, while I'm out riding or on the trainer. In all honesty, my week day rides since the kids were born is @ one hour. Usually on the weekends @ two hours. The weekends are not the problem, the week days are.

Anyone in my position? I'm sick thinking I may need to reduce my ride time to weekends only. Spending no more than five hours a week, currently, on the bike is not much to ask for in my opinion.

Any one?

[Serpico]

sell the kids

[Ray]

sell the kids
That's clearly the BEST option, but alternatively, could you hit the trainer after the kids are asleep so you don't burden her too much? Or find some other time to ride outdoors that works better with her schedule? If you help out with the dinnertime chores, that should earn you plenty of points to ride, no? If not, maybe it's not really about the timing...

-Ray

[mikemets]

I usually get up at 5:15 during the summer to commute to work. Gets miles in, and the family doesn't feel it one bit.

[93legendti]

I hear ya. I have a very easy going spouse and mostly my riding time gets cut by self-imposed guilt. So I ride in the morning, during the day or after our daughter goes to sleep. I take our daughter often in the Burley and that helps. I also get a baby sitter when necessary to help my wife, if I am out late during the week. I do the dishes everynight--but after everyone is in bed--so that helps. If you look at your day carefully, you can find more time to ride. Oh yes, everytime I get a new bike, I buy my wife something expensive--I can't tell you how far that goes!

[theprep]

I have 4 boys close in age (oldest 7, youngest 3). You can do it, but you have to let your wife have her time too. Lets say you want to ride 8 hours a week. Let your wife take Saturday morning off from the kids and chores.

Encourage her to meet a friend for coffee or shopping during the week, or workout while you take care of the house. She will be much more receptive to you disappearing on Sunday for a 3 hour ride.

Women are Better than men and much less selfish. My wife only needs about 4-5 hours to negate my weekly average of 8-10 hours of riding. What ever you do, don't argue about it, you will NEVER win.

good luck,
Joe

[Ozz]

start rides at 4:30 or so......get home before family wakes up.

That's what I do.

Luckily, I am a morning person...although a caffeine addiction helps.

I feel your pain. I have a 5 year old and a 18 month old, and a wife that is NOT a morning person and is allergic to caffeine!

It gets better, but not much.

BTW - I recommend a Light & Motion ARC HID

[davids]

Two kids under 3? Good luck, my friend!

Just a couple vague memories from those distant days (our daughter's 12):

My wife and I each chose one "thing" that we were going to keep doing after our baby arrived. All the time we used to spend watching movies, going for leasurely walks, etc... The baby ate that up. For a good long while, our "me time" was very limited, and the fact that each of us got to save one treasured activity from our childless days helped the two of us negotiate a lot of stressful days.

My first words of advice for anyone about to become a parent are, "Unlike so many other things in life, parenthood is hardest at first, and gets easier and easier over time." (While I may need to revise this now that adolescence is upon us, I think it's essentially true.) I remember when leaving my daughter in the house to take a bag of garbage outside was cause for anxiety. Now, I'll leave her alone for 2 hour rides, knowing she's responsible enough to feed herself and stay out of danger...

And as far as your wife's complaints - You've got to be able to negotiate some kind of division of labor that feels equitable to both of you. Keep us posted!

[Ray]

My first words of advice for anyone about to become a parent are, "Unlike so many other things in life, parenthood is hardest at first, and gets easier and easier over time." (While I may need to revise this now that adolescence is upon us, I think it's essentially true.)
Ha! Give it a couple of years. We have two girls, 15 months apart. When they were little, we were exhausted ALL the time - I didn't ride then, but if I had I'd have had to give it up. Then there were a bunch of really really sweet years, from about 4 to 11 or 12. They think you're cool enough to hang with the lord hisownself, they're nice, funny, inquisitive - very few bad memories from those days. But once puberty really hits, LOOK OUT! They're no longer your kids - their heads start spinning around on their necks, the eyes bug out, the face turns splotchy, the voices get weird, they don't talk to you, etc, etc, etc. Actually, it's not THAT bad, except sometimes it is. Mine are 18 and just about to turn 17 now and the older one has regained most of her sanity - the younger one is only showing the most preliminary signs of doing the same. But now they both drive so we just worry a lot. Yeah, my wife and I have a lot more time to do our own things now, but that doesn't make it easier, just less physically exhausting.

It's the best job in the world, if you survive it.

-Ray

[GregL]

I was told by the boss ( wife ) that it's too difficult for her to prepare dinner, clean up afterward, etc, etc, while I'm out riding or on the trainer.

Listen to your wife, she's right. Before you think I'm too critical, I learned this lesson the hard way... A few suggestions:

(1) Be realistic. With the new reality of a growing family, you won't always be able to ride when you want to. Spend time with your family first. What do you want it to say on your tombstone, "Devoted Husband and Father" or "Very Fit Recreational Cyclist"? Invariably, the more time I devote to my wife and daughter, the more times my wife encourages me to go for a ride. Your wife will appreciate the devotion to your family and (hopefully) reward you with some time just for you. In my household, that means I can usually attend the local Wednesday night hammer session and a race or two each month in the summer.

(2) Ride early -- I'm on the trainer at 5:30 AM this time of year. In the warmer months, or while on family vacations, I ride at the crack of dawn. Sure, it would be more pleasant to sleep in, but family trounces cycling any day of the week. Besides, riding early is usually very peaceful and often beautiful. Think sunrise over the Atlantic while taking your first strokes on the pedals.

(3) Ride late -- when my daughter was a baby, she was often tucked in by 7:45 PM. After a few household chores, I was on the trainer by 8:30 PM for a good hour's workout.

(4) The trainer will be your friend. Sometimes it's the only riding you will get when family commitments come hot and heavy. If you are focused on staying in good cycling shape, you can stay surprisingly fit using the trainer. Focus on quality over quantity. That fitness will help you enjoy those days when you can get out for a good ride.

It WILL get better. My daughter is now 6. She hikes, swims, skis, and rides with my wife and me. My wife gets to golf (her sporting passion) twice a week and I get to indulge in riding/racing to a similar extent. And my little girl thinks that it's normal to be involved in sports and excercise!

Regards,
Greg

[dirtdigger88]

my rides are in the am- EARLY AM- its not that I like it- but that how I fit in my rides along with my family life-

the wife and kid both get up around 8am- what I do before hand in 100% my time-

you should do the same-

oh- and I just read your post again- one hour a day during the week- thats plenty- 2 hours on the weekends- again- thats plenty

you need to worry about QUALITY riding time-

think about it- lets say you can ride 3 times monday thru friday and hour each- average 15 mph- then 2 hours on sat. and sun. again at 15 mph avg. now you have ridden ABOUT 105 miles that week- now do that all year long- you are over 5000 miles- want more- add an extra day during the week- thats worth another 780 miles a year

are you telling me you cant get in shape with that- thats enough time to train and be competitive as a Cat 4 and maybe be bitting at the heels of the 3's if you maximize you efforts-

Jason

[Kevan]

Short of getting up early before the family awakes, or commuting to and from work, your riding schedule is likely to be catch-as-catch-can. You can try to schedule free times with your spouse, but life gets in the way and you best be prepared for regular disappointments. Only when the kids have reached an age of independence will the two of you have time to address your own needs and wants. Or will you?

I will warn you that despite it getting easier you will have a greater responsibility in fashioning your son(s) or daughter(s) into the people you want taking care of you when you become a doddering ol’ fool. I’m kidding! No, I’m not!

That’s what I face, an internal tug-of-war, but at least the good side is winning. As it should be, I would rather give my 15-year-old son my time than take it for myself, gaining the ability to storm up any hillside. I can’t say it’s an easy gesture, it isn’t. I do still get out with the guys, but I’m off the back on the climbs. So be it.

The good thing is he has a super road bike of his own now and he looks forward to riding it. He thinks I’m crazy to be out in the cold weather and I’m not about to step on one of his skateboards, so there is time for each of us to do our own thang, but somewhere we find time for each other.

[Fixed]

bro if you were like this before you got married then that 's what she got i.m.h.o. ride in the a.m. ,ride to work. ride to the store, just ride when ever you can bro .: family is the only thing better than my bike but all my friends bike cheersl :beer:

[davids]

...once puberty really hits, LOOK OUT! They're no longer your kids - their heads start spinning around on their necks, the eyes bug out, the face turns splotchy, the voices get weird, they don't talk to you, etc, etc, etc. Actually, it's not THAT bad, except sometimes it is...

It's the best job in the world, if you survive it.

-Ray
My wife is convinced that our kid's gonna be different.

She was nearly in tears when I got home yesterday, having ended up screaming at our daughter over problems with her bookcase.

Her bookcase.

My wife never loses her temper. Seriously.

I think it's begun.

[Too Tall]

Alot of the folks I coach are time challenged. It is a struggle to maintain a job, family and friends AND your health. It seems health would come first so you can attend to the really important things like family, friends etc. So...consider yourself a caregiver and job one is your happiness and health m'kay? Now. Find some ways to get the hrs. of alone time you need. Starts with a plan. Suppose you need 10 hrs. / week to maintain a basic fitness. Get creative and negotiate from your plan and involve your family 100%. Give and take. You can set long term "pay backs" to family for their flexibility?

If you are lucky enough to have a job you can commute to, it is a done deal even if you have to drive part way get out and ride.

Thoughts?

[Ray]

My wife is convinced that our kid's gonna be different.

She was nearly in tears when I got home yesterday, having ended up screaming at our daughter over problems with her bookcase.

Her bookcase.

My wife never loses her temper. Seriously.

I think it's begun.
Oh yeah. Its ON!!!!

Seriously, I thought I'd dodged a bullet when I made it to 40 and didn't feel old. Then the teenage daughter business started a couple years later and I got real old real fast. Talk about being FORCED to come to terms with being a grown-up. Teenage girls and mothers - ooooooohhhhh, makes me shudder just thinking about it. I hope you're good at mediating between irrational crazy people.

Have fun,

-Ray

[SManning]

As an expecting mother, it was really nice to read everyone's input and suggestions as to how you balance riding and family life, especially with a little one. Any viewpoints from the female side of things? I'm expecting in May and have really wondered how I'll balance motherhood, my husband and riding my bike. My hope is to return to racing by next year.

Thanks to everyone for putting this into perspective. I'll most definitely remember all of the adivce once the baby arrives and I'm ready to ride again.

Thank God, I'm a morning person....

Sarah