Redneck 101

[William]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I seem to be getting more redneck cat calls so far this season than I have in many years. Normally I let it slide but...

Case in point:
Saturday turned out to be a beautiful day for a nice long early season ride. After a morning of working around the house an playing with my children, I was really looking forward to a good 50+ mile ride to unwind and enjoy the weather. I finally got out on the road around 1:30, with the sun out and the temps up in the 50's I let out a nice ahhhhh as I clipped in and started off. Not even 3 miles up the road I have a beat up car load of redneck-in-training teens come up behind and pass me real close, one of them yells something out the window which frankly I couldn't quite make out....but I don't think was real flattering. Now I still hadn't burned off all the stress and other crap yet, and I've had a number of similar incidents happen recently so when I saw them stop at a stop sign up ahead and waiting for traffic to clear before they could turn, I got a big shi* eating grin on my face and sped up.
I rode right up next to the passenger window (which was half open), stood up, and leaned down with my face right in it and said in an overly loud voice "HOW YOU DOING!!!!??" This startled the crap out of the kid who obviously didn't expect me to be right up with them so quickly. He started to answer; "f-fine", but before he even finished I started laughing real loud & maniacally;" AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA......They're now all staring at me with their eyes wide open thinking get away from this guy, at which point they had an opening and made their right hand turn. All continuing to watch me like; "MY GAWD, The guys a Psycho". To which I started laughing even louder as they pulled away; AHHH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA -HA-HA!!!!
I got to tell you I laughed my a$$ off for the next 5 miles. I really needed that. The rest of my ride was just a down right joy.

The moral of my story?

Rednecks are afraid of psychos.


William ;)

[Kevin]

I just show them a naked picture of Sandy. :bike:

Kevin

[BumbleBeeDave]

. . . Unfortunately, unless you were somehow showing them the picture of Sandy WITHOUT making them look at YOU at the same time, we cannot fully evaluate the efficacy of your claim that it was Sandy they were reacting to. ;)

Have a nice daaaay.

BWAAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

BBDave

[Too Tall]

Keepin' the peace in your wood of the necks I see ;)
So how was the ride?

[Kevin]

. . . Unfortunately, unless you were somehow showing them the picture of Sandy WITHOUT making them look at YOU at the same time, we cannot fully evaluate the efficacy of your claim that it was Sandy they were reacting to. ;)

Have a nice daaaay.

BWAAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

BBDave

Either way, it works. :beer:

Kevin

[William]

Keepin' the peace in your wood of the necks I see ;)
So how was the ride?

Eye Robinhood, eye. It were Beautious. :beer:


William ;)

[loctite]

http://www.redneck.org/pix/johndeer.jpg

[Idris Icabod]

So far this January I have had a bottle of Budweiser throw at me but I also suspect that the rednecks in my area are becoming more cosmopolitan because I have also had two (yes 2) glasses of red wine (including wine glass) thrown at me, on the same day. Quite a surprising missile, especially at 7.30 AM on my commute to work! Top that!

[chrisroph]

Its nice when you can actually catch them. Last time that happened for me, I let fly with a generous squirt out of my water bottle. The passenger jumped out of his seat and the driver ws cracking up. That was just before I turned right off the road I was on and disappeared onto a bike path not to be seen again.

[bcm119]

Great story William.

But aren't they called "Swamp Yankees" in those parts?

[William]

Great story William.

But aren't they called "Swamp Yankees" in those parts?

True. On the forum I just started using a generic term known by all. I started a Swamp Yankee/Redneck thread quite a while back though. ;)


William

[toaster]

We call 'em rednecks they think we're fairies.

How's any of this helping matters?

[bcm119]

We call 'em rednecks they think we're fairies.

How's any of this helping matters?

Its not, but slang terminology is intrinsically funny and always worth mentioning imho. Back to chain lubes and seat posts now...

[Catulle]

I usually ride by two buildings being built one next to the other where you find construction workers hauling sacks of cement by the side of the road. A few months ago, I was riding and fixing the volume of my Stones-only iPod thingy with both hands off the bars. One of the workers saw me and yelled: Go old man, go (well actually he said: Vaya viejo, vaya..!!).

Ever since, whenever I ride past them they wave and say pretty much the same thing. The first time around, when I got home I told my wife about the incident and she wouldn't stop laughing. She found it hilarious that I hadn't liked the part of having been called viejo.

Times change. Duhhh..!! The workers I guess find it somewhat amusing to see me riding my spiffy bike, white hair on my head and all, but I certainly didn't find it amusing the first time I was called viejo out loud. Now, though, I think this occurrence is helping me realize that I've just reached the mountain stages of my Tour. And when the workers yell, I just smile and wave back. :beer:

[William]

http://www.redneck.org/pix/johndeer.jpg

So is this what would have happened if I had crossed my old FJ-40 with a Deere 670? :cool: I would have done it long ago had I known! ;)


William

[shaq-d]

AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA......They're now all staring at me with their eyes wide open thinking get away from this guy, at which point they had an opening and made their right hand turn. All continuing to watch me like; "MY GAWD, The guys a Psycho". To which I started laughing even louder as they pulled away; AHHH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA -HA-HA!!!!
I got to tell you I laughed my a$$ off for the next 5 miles. I really needed that. The rest of my ride was just a down right joy.


lol, totally hilarious. laughed out loud here.

sd

[nobrakes]

The best story that I can contribute here is happened to me 2 years ago, I was riding with my team in a "high redneck" area, when I spotted what looked like a gun on the side of the road. We stopped, and I went back to investigate. It was a gun, but not a real gun. It was one of the bb guns that look like a big pistol, this one looked like a Luger, about 18" long. I picked it up to dispose of properly, and put it in my back jersey pocket, and rode off to catch up to my group.
Riding at the back of the group with a big, ol' gun handle sticking out of my back pocket was having an effect on the usual beater 4X4 pickups and backwards-baseball cap wearing sub-adults who would usually on this stretch of road be buzzing by us too close, shouting obsenities, or throwing stuff at us from their vehicles. Instead, these guys where flying by us on the opposite side of the road, trying to put as much distance between themselves and that "armed and dangerous" bicycle riding freak (me).
I don't recommend cycling with a gun, but in this instance, it certainly kept us free from harrassment...at least until the rednecks went home to get their own guns. I wouldn't want to see confrontations escalate to this. Better to put up with a few curses, then have a bead drawn on me.

[Ahneida Ride]

I perfer the Corvette Story.

Some Dufus cut off Uncle William. Uncle William caught up to him.
Uncle William stared him down thru the vette's T top.

[William]

I perfer the Corvette Story.

Some Dufus cut off Uncle William. Uncle William caught up to him.
Uncle William stared him down thru the vette's T top.

It was raining spittle and foam. Hey, he should have had the tops on. :confused:


William ;)