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View Full Version : OT: I'm not sure which is the stupider way to be hurt


Louis
09-24-2013, 07:25 PM
Is this a great country, or what?!!!

Burleson, Lions Receiver, Is Injured in Car Accident
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Detroit Lions receiver Nate Burleson broke his arm in a single-car accident early Tuesday after he reached over to keep two pizza boxes from falling off the front passenger seat, the police said.

Burleson’s car hit a center median wall on a highway in suburban Detroit and he was hospitalized. Michigan State Police Lt. Mike Shaw said there were no indications that alcohol was a cause of the crash at 2:25 a.m.

By Sam Gardner, FOXSports.com

According to TMZ, Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Jacoby Jones was hurt early Monday morning when a stripper named Sweet Pea smashed a giant champagne bottle over his head during a brawl on a party bus.

I know, I know, it sounds outrageous. But according to the gossip site, the story is legit — and becomes more believable when you consider the company Jones was with. Per TMZ, this is how it went down:

It happened after a night of partying in Washington D.C. celebrating Bryant McKinnie’s birthday.

Sources at the scene tell us … at about 3 AM, as people were leaving Opera Ultra Lounge, people on the bus began fighting. In addition to teammates, we’re told at least one stripper was on board.

One eyewitness tells us he saw a bottle being swung at Jacoby Jones — it connected with his head and hurt him. We’re told an ambulance was called “for a bleeding male” but he was not taken to the hospital.

Our sources say a stripper named Sweet Pea is the one who hit Jacoby with a gigantic Ace of Spades bottle and this may have triggered the brawl. We’re told the bottle smashed over his head and he was “bleeding everywhere.”

We’re told Jacoby’s friends tried to retaliate against Sweet Pea but Bryant McKinnie tried to stop him, and a fight broke out between the friend and Bryant.

rounder
09-24-2013, 08:01 PM
Shows how athletic they are to be able to avoid all of the minefields in the road and still win games. On the other hand, how come those guys make so much money and tix are so expensive.

gone
09-24-2013, 08:05 PM
Seriously. You can't make this $hit up!

MattTuck
09-24-2013, 08:15 PM
Glad I don't have those guys on my fantasy team.


Let's keep in mind that Greg Lemond was shot in a hunting accident. If one of these guys got shot in a hunting accident, I'm sure we'd be talking about how dumb they were. Moral of the story is that accidents DO happen. But you'll probably avoid a lot of them if you don't drive and/or party with strippers after midnight.

Benny Profane
09-24-2013, 08:29 PM
"gigantic Ace of Spades." heh.

gone
09-24-2013, 08:36 PM
Moral of the story is that accidents DO happen.

Well, yeah. But "hit over the head with a champagne bottle by a stripper" is a few standard deviations from the mean as far as accidents go.

And probably a lot more fun than a hunting accident :D

rwsaunders
09-24-2013, 08:42 PM
If you recall, McKinnie was involved in the "Love Boat" scandal when he played with the Vikings. Maybe Sweet Pea was on the boat too...

vqdriver
09-24-2013, 08:55 PM
story #2 is the dumber way to get hurt.

because #1 is sacrifice for pizza. there's nothing dumb about that.
whatsoever.

GT2R
09-24-2013, 09:08 PM
Who drives to get a pizza at 2 in the morning?

tiretrax
09-24-2013, 10:44 PM
Who drives to get a pizza at 2 in the morning?

A drunk on his way home. Ask the Dallas Cowboys.

learningtoride
09-25-2013, 01:06 AM
...

Benny Profane
09-25-2013, 06:36 AM
Humiliating? I don't know. I'm guessing the grandkids and nephews would think he's a little cooler than the other uncle who goes on and on about how he sold the most insurance.

Tom
09-25-2013, 07:06 AM
I've got 5 dollars that says when he gets home his WAG is gonna hit him with something heavier and made out of cast metal. That's some funny stuff.

druptight
09-25-2013, 07:33 AM
... a bottle of cheesey champagne"
lol sweet pea lmao- classic!

At least it probably wasn't cheesy champagne. If I'm not mistaken the magnums of Armand de Brignac (have a giant ace of spades on them) are like $1000 at stores. At a club I'm sure they're probably $2500 or more. I mean, if you have to get smashed over the head with a magnum bottle, might as well be the good stuff.

dnades
09-25-2013, 08:41 AM
good thing the bottle was open and empty. full and sealed, it would've probably killed him.

binxnyrwarrsoul
09-25-2013, 09:03 AM
"...........after he reached over to keep two pizza boxes from falling off the front passenger seat."

Sounds like a story crafted by his lawyer(s).

learningtoride
09-25-2013, 10:01 AM
...