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bags27
03-05-2004, 07:46 PM
Alone on a long ride with lots of puddles and a grey sky, I got to thinking today of what I'd like to be doing in ten years. My fantasy ran from accomplishment to futuristic gear. Hope you have some good thoughts, too.

I'd be 64 (would she still need me, would she still feed me?), now training for my third consecutive successful Paris-Brest-Paris. I'd be in even better shape, after all that weight training, pilates, and slow-burn base-building. And I'd be set mentally, having finally figured out how do be less perfectionistic about my work (teaching and writing).

I'd still be riding my Peter Weigle brevet bike, pretty much decked out with the same fenders and NOS Shimano 36-speed STI, but I've ditched that Schmidt dynohub in favor of a single Cateye laser guided night sensor that runs for a 100 hrs. on a single neutron battery. And when I wanted to feel fast, I'd still be riding the Spectrum Superlight, recently repainted, and now with Honda automatic shifting. All my tires, of course, are 100% flat resistant. Saddles are still Brooks B-17. Revue helmets (http://www.i-m-a-world.com/index.htm) are now legal in the U.S. and are under 240 grams, so no more Third Eye and many, many fewer accidents. Sunglasses finally fit so that I don't have to push them back up my nose every 5 miles. I'm still wearing mainly wool, including that great retro Armstrong/Postal jersey, celebrating his 11th straight TdF win. I'm laughing about the fight on the Serotta forum about whether their new multi-alloy frame is worth $47,000 (most say it is), and my own seven year wait for a Richard Sachs lugged frame is finally about to be over. People are beginning to realize how bad Bicycling Magazine is, and are threatening to cancel their subscriptions. Grant Petersen is in a snit about all this new stuff; dbrk is busy restoring a 2002 Trek 5200, claiming it's the best frame ever; and dnovo has just completed his purchase of every bike in his size ever produced in Italy.

Okay, so I am pissed off that Dubya's twin daughters have just been elected co-Presidents of the U.S and that Dick Cheney (despite being on life support) is vice president again. But I'm still thinking that being out there, biking with no where else I have to go or be is just about the most wonderful feeling in the world (although it does seem that I'm stopping to pee a lot more frequently).

BumbleBeeDave
03-05-2004, 09:17 PM
. . . finally attained my goal of achieving relativistic speed while descending Petersburgh Pass, so while it will seem that only three hours has passed on my ride, in actuality 3427 years will have passed for the rest of the world. Gay marriage will have become the norm, and this will have reduced world population by 97%, since the only way for humans to reproduce will be cloning. All those incredible artificial diamond tarmac roads, with no expansion joints or potholes, will be completely empty save for myself and other cyclists, since the rest of the world has begun to use the new belt-mounted matter teleporters.

Of course, I will be the most popular rider in the peloton, since after all, I am riding a frame that’s almost 3500 years old! Not only that, but it bears the mark of the legendary Pharaoh Benpedals-alot Al-Serotta, whose mummified remains are on display at the ancient temple of Al-Serotta in nearby Share-Toga. The temple itself is a a sight to behold, constructed entirely of titanium and carbon fiber, and covered with thousands of lines of hieroglyphics--all composed of mysterious small smiling faces. Even after years of work, their true meaning defies archeologists. Some are happy, some are sad. Some self-described “experts” claim that one resembles a dancing banana. But all that has been deciphered so far is the word “Ottrott,” carved over and over again on the strange woven tubes that litter the site.

BBDave . . . reporting from the future! But I have to go now--there must be a straight woman left SOMEWHERE out there!