What Jerk Said

[e-RICHIE]

http://forums.thepaceline.net/showpost.php?p=152035&postcount=24

[jerk]

here it is again. you kids should all go and should all support mo. this is important. come see the rock show too.....

if you want to see some high-five bass playing and support a great cause check this out:

http://www.bikereg.com/events/register.asp?EventID=2916

HELP SEND MO TO WORLDS!

It all started 2 seasons ago, when Mo Bruno Roy decided to try a cyclo-cross race or two. At the snowy Verge Series season finale that year, she found herself battling for the win in Merrimack, New Hampshire with Olympian Mary McConneloug. ”Hey, you might be kinda good at this 'cross thing,” we all told her.

The next year, Mo got a little more serious. She hired a coach, trained more, planned a set race schedule, and came pretty damn close to winning a master's national championship in the deep mud of Portland, Oregon. She finished 2nd after a tussle with another rider in the last 2 turns. The next day, she squeezed out a 15th place in the elite women¹s race with whatever energy she had left. Clearly, there was progress, and potential for more.

It was a hard thing to live with; that second place. So Mo raised her game again in 2005. She set concrete goals, started training sooner and harder, and had custom bikes provided by Independent Fabrication. Mo showed up at the national championships in Providence, Rhode Island as the top-ranked US rider, with a Verge New England Series title under her belt. She used the Masters race as a warm up, winning with a two minute lead over the next rider, taking the stars and stripes jersey, and avenging her 2nd place from 2004. The following day, Mo showed up and did more damage, tearing off the start to take charge of the race, ripping the field apart and battling to a bronze medal. With that result she earned an invitation to ride in the 2006 Cyclo-Cross World Championships, in Zeddam, The Netherlands, and the confirmation that Mo is truly a world-class cyclo-cross rider.

The thing is, Mo's not a professional cyclist. She's a full-time massage therapist who works not only to pay her normal bills, but to cover all the expenses she incurs for the joy of racing her bike. Because the trip to the World Championships isn't funded by the national cycling federation, Mo's friends, family, and sponsors are coming together to make sure she has the financial resources to take this opportunity as far as her talent will allow her.

Mo's trip will begin when she flies to Belgium on January 12th. She'll race the World Cup in France on January 15th, the World Cup in the Netherlands on January 22nd, and finally, the World Championships in the Netherlands on January 29th. Below are three ways you can help Mo make this trip and achieve her goals:

BENEFIT SHOW

On Thursday, December 29th, at Great Scott in Allston, MA, ”Human Shield“ and ”The Feel Like You Wouldn't Believe“ will be playing a double bill, and donating all the proceeds from the door to Mo's World Championship effort. If you're a Boston-area cyclist, you might recognize Human Shield's front man Craig Gaulzetti as the manager of International Bicycle Center in Brighton, and sponsor of New England's Pro Cycling Team, Team Nerac/Outdoorlights.com. The Feel Like You Wouldn't Believe is an all-bike-dork deal, including Jon Bruno on guitar, Logan Hodson on drums, Matt Roy on sax, keys, and sound effects, and Adam Hodges Myerson on bass.

Tickets are $10 at the door. Great Scott, 1222 Comm Ave in Allston, MA

REDBONES PARTY

On Tuesday evening, January 3rd, the party moves to Redbones in Davis Square, Somerville, for a fundraising dinner, raffle, and celebration of Mo's national championship weekend. Look for great beer and lots of raffle prizes from Mo's sponsors and supporters like Independent Fabrication, Cycle-Smart, and others.

The party starts at 7 pm. Entry is $15 at the door, and includes a trip through the buffet, a pint of Harpoon's IPA, and a raffle ticket.

DONATION PAGE

If you can't make any of the functions but still want to be part of the effort to send Mo to Worlds, BikeReg.com has set up a donations page for her, and is contributing 100% of the service fee back to Mo. Donate now and show Mo some love!

[e-RICHIE]

GIVE THE DOUGH TO MO.

[PeterW]

I just got an e-mail from Adam with the same request.

Thanks to e-ritchie, jerk, and all the others I learn from here, I'm donatin'.

[Hysbrian]

give Mo Dough!!!

[Too Tall]

10-4. GREAT cause. I'll give.

[spiderlake]

I don't see any information on bikereg.com to donate...... can anyone provide a direct link?? thanks!

Darrin

[jerk]

I don't see any information on bikereg.com to donate...... can anyone provide a direct link?? thanks!

Darrin

it's right there at the top of the post. here it is again:

http://www.bikereg.com/events/register.asp?EventID=2916

jerk

[spiderlake]

Thanks! I thought that was just a link to the information about the benefit concert at Redbones. Just made a donation and best of luck to Mo!!

it's right there at the top of the post. here it is again:

http://www.bikereg.com/events/register.asp?EventID=2916

jerk

[jerk]

Thanks! I thought that was just a link to the information about the benefit concert at Redbones. Just made a donation and best of luck to Mo!!

oh, by the way the benefit dinner is at redbones...the benefit concert is at great scott in beautiful downtown allston.....

jerk

[spiderlake]

no worries, herr jerk - my new year's resolution is to learn how to read! Thanks again for letting the forum know about this great opportunity for Mo!

oh, by the way the benefit dinner is at redbones...the benefit concert is at great scott in beautiful downtown allston.....

jerk

[Tailwinds]

Great idea -- I'm all for MO! :banana:

[shinomaster]

Does Mo have a twin sister? I saw Mo out here in Portland but didn't ask her..I'm shy.
Six years ago I used to TA ceramics wheel working at the MAss College Of ARt in Boston. One of the students was skinny girl that looked just like Mo--nose ring and all. She knew I was into bikes. She said her twin sister raced cross. That was one of the first times I heard of anyone racing cross in Boston.
I'm wondering if Mo was the girl I knew...or her sister. Do they both race? Or am I dillusional?
Anyway if it was the girl I knew...I just wanted to say congrats and a friendly west coast "right on"..

[Roy E. Munson]

Does Mo have a twin sister?

Yes, she does

[e-RICHIE]

Does Mo have a twin sister?

Yes, she does


***?
http://www.fiveguysnamedmoe.com/

[shinomaster]

WHich one went to art school?

[e-RICHIE]

WHich one went to art school?

second from right - looks like ron jeremy.
http://www.fiveguysnamedmoe.com/

[shinomaster]

the Twin I knew was pretty cute....not a fat bald poro star...
The story Doesn't make sense...The wonder twin has been racing for more than two years then...

[MartyE]

http://www.threestooges.com/bios/images/photo_body_mhoward.jpg

[e-RICHIE]

so - are many folks here bellying up to the bar?

[DfCas]

so - are many folks here bellying up to the bar?


Do I need to register on Bike reg,and can I then use Paypal?

Thanks,dan

[e-RICHIE]

Do I need to register on Bike reg,and can I then use Paypal?

Thanks,dan


yeah - then you can also enter 'cross races like
me and roy munson do. this thread makes me
wonder if there are five guys like roy.

[jerk]

yeah - then you can also enter 'cross races like
me and roy munson do. this thread makes me
wonder if there are five guys like roy.

no...

the jerk has it on good authority there are only a couple of guys like roy.

jerk

[e-RICHIE]

no...

the jerk has it on good authority there are only a couple of guys like roy.

jerk


jaw - meet floor.
i thought munson was part of a "the boys from brazil"
gig left over from the 1950s. i'm thoroughly disappointed.

[Roy E. Munson]

Come on, let's hit the Human Shield show! I'll bring my four brothers, Roy, Roy, Roy, and Roy.

[DfCas]

yeah - then you can also enter 'cross races like
me and roy munson do. this thread makes me
wonder if there are five guys like roy.


I registered,but I only see Credit Card options.Am I missing it?I wanna use PayPal.

dan

[e-RICHIE]

I registered,but I only see Credit Card options.Am I missing it?I wanna use PayPal.

dan


you can't on bike reg.
email adam@cycle-smart.com
and tell him you wanna give.
mebbe he'll have a seperate gig
for that.

[e-RICHIE]

Come on, let's hit the Human Shield show! I'll bring my four brothers, Roy, Roy, Roy, and Roy.

will they cover any "fabulous stains" hits?

[MRB]

Moe Town!!

Moe Power to them, the look happy.

The Moe the merrier?

The Moe the Marry Her?

One Moe for the Road?

Help me now.

[e-RICHIE]

Help me now.


stay in school.

[jerk]

will they cover any "fabulous stains" hits?

every mother freakin' last one!

imho bro,
jerk

[Rover-Rich]

Good luck to Mo! I gave and I don't even know her! :banana:

[Fixed]

bro I gave cos the jerk and e- RICHIE asked that is good enough
i.m.h.o. cheers happy holidays :beer:

[Dr. Doofus]

every mother freakin' last one!

imho bro,
jerk


they could go somewhere

if they dropped the front man

[Fixed]

bro that concert idea is cool i.m.h.o., lots of riders? I hope it sells out cheers :beer:

[jerk]

thanks bro....should be fun.

jerk

[jerk]

they could go somewhere

if they dropped the front man


dude-

they're not going anywhere. check out thess reviews: (mediocre boston bar band my ***!)

review 1
Oh my but nothing compares to Human Shield. Human Shield sets up with a crappy little keyboard on a monitor, a guitarist in tight leopard skin-print pants with an undersized wife-beater, and a singer that looks like Houdini's flamboyantly gay cousin. During the first "song," which is mostly just noise that seemingly has no beginning, structure, or end, the drummer hurls his floor tom off the stage. When it is given back to him, it is ejected again immediately. During the second song, or movement in noise, the singer drops his shiny blue pants to reveal what nature gave him. The vocals here sound like dying dogs in heat. This band gives bad taste a bad name and it offends me that these clowns actually own instruments. The drummer decides that the remaining part of his drum kit has not taken enough abuse and throws the rest of it off the stage and proceeds to get in a fight with security before he is thrown out. Human Shield, thankfully, is shut down and told to get out after a seven-minute set. The rest of the band claims victory yelling about how "awesome" that was. Live it up, rock stars, you won't be playing in this city much longer. And don't worry, no one will remember you. (Richie Hoss)

review 2
The Room Where The Baby Died is a Human Shield side project of sorts, and they seem positively conventional after all that. I mean, two guitars, bass, and a drummer? With singing, no less. Not a lot of singing, to be sure. Mostly, one of the guitarists gives us high-pitched, incomprehensible screams while the other loudly reads the list of prizes offered as they scroll across the Golden Tee machine across the room. I'm guessing this wasn't rehearsed. All this over a tight, interesting rhythm section and richly distorted guitars. Then, just when I'm starting to feel like they've done this already, one guitarist starts to sing in a light, clear falsetto, and even plays a few genuinely pretty chords. It adds just the right contrast to keep it interesting. I wish they'd play longer. (Steve Gisselbrecht)

review 3
Human Shield takes the stage, dressed in overalls, Las Vegas visors, and boxer briefs. It's mostly noise-rock, but clean, and the drums and bass sound great; the band members are very good at playing off each other with competing, complimentary rhythms and guitar riffs. Yeah, no clear beginning or ending to a song, and you can't hear the singer, but this ain't exactly sing-along-with-your-favorite-tune stuff. Yet somehow it all coheres, with the guitarists providing sporadic spontaneous melodies, the drum and bass keeping everything rocking. At one point the leaping singer sets a bike on fire, and anyone who's been to a Human Shield show thinks, "Yeah, this is when they get thrown out." But the booker quickly gets them to behave. Maybe they just like O'Brien's. Very politely they quickly get off the stage, as the sound problems have bumped everything back forty-five minutes.

review 4
I heard that these guys sometimes set up outside a club and play on the sidewalk while the more civilized bands play inside. And that they were banned from somewhere for setting themselves on fire. So I was ready for anything, or so I thought.

The show's running late because the band refuses to go on until after the Patriots game is over. The Pats win---not that anyone in this crowd gives a ****---and Human Shield's singer starts off with a rant about football, making fun of the "pigskin" sport as being another version of "Smear the Queer." On stage are one guitarist/ singer, one bass player, and not one, not two, but THREE drummers. The drummers on stage face each other and share a kick and tom while each has a mess of cymbals. The third drummer's on the floor in front of the stage. Drummer dudes make a thunderous racket worthy of the guitar and bass cacophony going down between them. It reminds me of The Melvins, if they were smoking pot that's not quite as good as what they're used to. They do a version of "Raspberry Beret" that's nothing like the original, a song called "Show Me on the Doll Where He Touched You," and "High Five," during which the singer jumps down off stage and high fives everyone in the room, including the bartenders and the doorman. Unfortunately this was after he took "guitar wank" to a whole new level by pulling down his pants and playing the instrument (yes, the string side!) with his penis. This doesn't sound much different than when he plays it conventionally. The verse to follow is predictable enough: "Oh, that really hurt/ Oh that really hurt!" So if you're really drunk or just in the mood for something different... (Laura Markley

review 5
Human Shield is certainly weird and different, and even arty in a deep way, but it's not really perfect for this environment. Or maybe it is; maybe what this crowd of non-dancing art connoisseurs really needs right now is to be screamed at ("Is it good to be an art fag?!?") and body-checked by a shirtless man with abundant back hair and a microphone. (I discover that, while it might be totally rock 'n' roll to have your drink spilled all over you by the singer when it's beer, it's much less so if it's orange soda.) With all this crazed screaming and floor-clearing, it takes me a while to notice that the rhythm section is really good. Dual drummers set up a powerful beat, and the bassist (who starts out playing in oven mitts, for which two thumbs up) is fast and intricate and great. The guitars are a weird, noisy stew over the top.

review 6
Things didn't go so well the last time I saw Human Shield, which ended with them being forcibly removed from a club in Somerville back in November. Everyone deserves a second chance, though. Tonight, Human Shield seems to be on better behavior and with better stuff than they had during my last visit. Human Shield announces that tonight is the finals for their lead singer auditions, which is going to be held live in front of an audience. Well, it would have been if there was an audience here. Unabashed, Shield launches into a noise-laden set that consists of about a handful of songs. The first song actually shows some promise and has a definite groove to it. There might not be a lot of structure to these, ahem, songs but it seems like the band members are listening more to what everyone else is doing now rather than just trying to create noise on their own for the sake of making noise. Through three different singers, Human Shield eventually ends up doing their usual schtick, which is being notorious for being notorious with noise.



hmm. so you should go to this show. it's for a good cause.

jerk

[Fixed]

bro how did it go? I hope well cheers :beer:

[shinomaster]

did you say hi to her twin sister for me?

[jerk]

it was great. alot of money was raised. i think slightly more was spent at the bar by a combination of munson and the jerk. thanks to all who are helping out with this thing.

jerk

[e-RICHIE]

it was great. alot of money was raised. i think slightly more was spent at the bar by a combination of munson and the jerk. thanks to all who are helping out with this thing.

jerk

and fstrthnu?

[jerk]

and fstrthnu?


fstrthnu was putting back the diet shirley temples like the rockstar he is.

jerk

[e-RICHIE]

fstrthnu was putting back the diet shirley temples like the rockstar he is.

jerk


my man.

[Dr. Doofus]

yo jerk

get doof that demo, bro

(you won't get the doof's cause he destroyed what was left two years after his last gig...sorry...)

[spiderlake]

I'm pasting a couple of updates I received about Mo's journey in Europe.

Update 1:

Hi everybody - I’ve just received a list from BikeReg with email addresses of all those who have helped to support Mo’s trip to Europe. Thanks! I sent this update out last week and thought you might like to be up on Mo’s latest exploits, with more to come.

Enjoy and thanks again for your support!

-Matt

First off, thanks to you, (our friends, family supporters and sponsors) we have had a very successful fundraising campaign, and Mo has headed off to Europe to represent the US in the 2006 Cyclocross World Championships.

Needless to say, the support has been overwhelming. From a season highlight video from our friends at the Southern Maine Cycling club, and support from regional clubs include the Hampton Velo Club and the North Hampton Cycling Club, riders from across the region have banded together to send one of their own across the pond. We have even received a contribution from our good friends in Australia! Just before the New Year We, had a great night of “music” at Great Scott in Allston, with all of the proceeds going to support Mo. Also, our friends at Redbones generously donated their space and lots of good food (with beer provided by Harpoon!), to hold a great night celebrating Mo’s monumental 2005 season, with raffles provided by her great sponsors, emceeing from Richard Fries, interviews with New England cycling’s who’s who, and a 2005 video recap provided by moi.

So, back to more pressing issues:

In this Sunday’s Boston Globe Northwest Edition (presumably in the Northwest Weekly section), we hope to see an article on Mo and her exploits leading up to her trip to ‘Cross Worlds. We don’t quite know what to expect, but hopefully it’ll be cool. I spoke with the reporter too; hoping I won’t come off sounding like too much of a goof. If you can’t get your hands on the paper, you should be able to find the article somewhere in here later today.

Also, by the time you are rolling out of bed, Mo may already be lined up at the start of her first truly international race experience. After leaving on Thursday, Mo arrived in Brussels, Belgium to join Canadian team member Stacey Spencer, her husband and 1.5 year old baby. Together, the troupe headed down to Liévin, France to pre-ride the course for Sunday’s World Cup race. Today, Mo will be bumping shoulders (quite literally) with the best ‘cross talent the world has to offer. After taking a 4 week stint off the racing circuit, Mo is keeping her expectations to a modest top-twenty finish.

I managed to track down Mo on Saturday evening, chatting briefly with her on the hotel lobby phone. They’re staying at the French equivalent of a Motel 6, for €30 a night… so you can imagine that it’s not the kind of place with a bidet or a mint on the pillow. She said the course is dusty and dry with lots of climbing. Oh, and she said it looked like it would be a lot of fun. It was sunny all day Saturday and the forecast looks about the same today. So keep your fingers crossed.

Following the race in Liévin, Mo will head back with Stacey and her family to Belgium, where they have rented a small house in Arendonk, just north of Antwerp. Mo will spend the next few days trying to be a professional athlete (sleep ‘til 10, ride for a few hours, eat, nap, email at the local library, listen to her iPod, eat some more, go bed by 10, repeat) before heading to Hoogerheide, the Netherlands for the next World Cup.

Communication is a bit inconvenient for Mo over there, so I’ll do my best to keep you informed of her latest adventures. If you are looking for the latest race results, your best bet is to go to www.cyclingnews.com and look for Cross – World Cup #9, Liévin, France (or something similar).

-Matt

Update 2:

Hi all-

Mo is now one week into her 18 day trip… and with one World Cup under her belt, she’s ready to hit the dirt/mud/pavement for more ‘cross action.

After a one month hiatus from the racing scene, Mo gave her system quite a shock by lining up in her first World Cup race ever in Liévin, France. But before I continue, here’s a little background on what exactly these races are; while the World Championships are essentially the equivalent to an Olympic event, where team members represent the country for which they hold a racing license, the World Cup is a 10-race series that begins in October and ends this coming weekend. While wearing the colors of their trade teams and sponsors, racers vie for overall classification by earning points based on placement. The two World Cups in the weekends prior to the World Champions are a great opportunity for racers to pit themselves against the world’s best, so that when the big day comes, they know who to watch out for and who to follow.

So, now that we’re on the same page, back to Liévin. The goal for last Sunday’s race was to simply get back into the racing frame of mind and to get the plane out of her legs. The course was mostly dry, not the cow-flap filled sea-of-mud she’d expected. Mo described the course as very much a like a typical New England ‘cross course, with lots and lots of climbing. The race began with a bang, when the jittery bunch caused a first-lap pileup. Mo was able to avoid the crash but was forced to dismount and run with her bike for quite a distance. She made up some ground but ultimately her legs couldn’t give it any more gas. She finished 28th on the day, one spot back from the only woman to beat Lyne Bessette in North America, Canadian Wendy Simms. In Mo’s guarded assessment, she was “not disappointed.” She did say though that she wished there was a race on the next day… chomping at the bit to give it another go.

To give you an idea of what back-to-back days of racing can do for some people, look no further than Sunday’s Elite Men’s second place finisher, Francis Mourey. In the previous days’ race, having just finished an extended reprieve from racing and his own block of travel, Mourey was lapped by his fellow competitors, finishing an entire lap behind the winner. Now, I hesitate to suggest that were Mo to have back-to-back days of racing she would have posted similar results, but the fact of the matter is… she’s licking her chops and having a blast.

Back in Arendonk, Belgium, Mo has been living the life. They are staying in a cozy A-frame cottage; complete with wood stove. She describes Arendonk as a quaint hamlet, full of perfect country roads and brick houses. Bikes are everywhere and everyone rides bikes. Mo warns of one danger: chocolate and waffles lurk around every corner!

The popularity of ‘cross in Belgium is huge. There are two reality TV shows about Cyclocross in the main-stream media. One show follows a team of kids from Zimbabwe as they try to make a name for themselves in the world of professional cycling. Turns out that on the whole, they are pretty terrible at racing but they’ve been elevated to super-celebrity status. The local community has welcomed Mo and Stacey with open arms. The locals have shown them great riding, both on and off road, and they are lining up in droves to help them out at the races. A trio of locals accompanied them to Liévin last weekend, a Belgian grandma amongst them, who doled out, in obscene portions, warm apple dessert following the race.

On Saturday, Mo is hoping to squeeze in an extra day of racing before the World Cup in Hoogerheide. I don’t know the details yet but there’s a smaller race in Zonnebeke, Belgium that they might try to hit. Afterwards, they head to Hoogerheide and to the end of Mo’s peaceful stay with Stacey. Following the race, Mo will return with the US team to a house they all cram into in Izegem, Belgium. Junior, Espoirs, Elite Men and Elite Women under a single roof. The laundry situation alone is enough to send a shudder down our collective spines.

That’s it for now. I’ll keep you posted on the latest. Mo says hi and that she is really happy to be there.

Thanks for reading.

[Too Tall]

For anyone who gave some dough to Mo:
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/01/15/easing_the_journey_for_a_rough_rider/

Excellent write ups from her pal Matt Roy are coming thru as well. Thanks guys, this is a good cause.