xspace
12-17-2005, 05:54 PM
At the end of last season I took posession of a new Fierte TI, fitted w/Dura-Ace wheelset & 10sp (12-27) gears, an FSA compact crank, an FSA K-Pro handlebar, and some other fairly nice accoutrements.
It looks pretty slick but...you know, with the winter months upon us, I've begun to imagine a really tricked out bike to ride for next season; something that I can take to the "next level" which won't look like (groan) EVERY OTHER FIERTE TI OUT THERE.
Here's what I've come up with so far:
1. Replace that boring VDO computer. Real men don't rely on elitist computer chips made out of some nano-molecular material you can't even see to tell them how fast they're going. Real men use a good-old retro speedometer.
2. Let them know I'm coming. Somehow, "OPEN YOUR EYES YOU A**HOLE!" just doesn't seem to cut it when some pony-tailed prick cuts me off in his Prius. Nothing less than a blast from my Sumo-siren will do, unless it's a honk from my screaming skull horn. Better yet, I'm going to put an "ahh-ooh-gah" bulb on too, and serenade them in stereo (but I'll learn to ride with no hands first, okay?)
3. Those Dura-Ace rims sure are boring. Silver skull valve caps say, "I'm a tough guy" really well! "Pink Dice" say, "Who cares what you think?" while "Coneheads" say, "I smoked too much pot and watched too much SNL in the 80's to care." I think I'll accessorize with some snappy spoke beads for a unique road sound as well.
4. Top it all off. Streamers and a basket are more than just fun, they are PRACTICAL! Whatever shall I do if Paris loses her Chihuahua again?
5. I won't forget the missus! Yeah...I know I blew the kid's tuition on my bike, and for our 25th anniversary my wife was really looking forward to diamonds and dinner at Babbo's. That selfish strumpet! Well, I'll make it up to her. I'll just heat up a can of Prego and serve her "Peloton-style" with this special pasta. Then I'll give her these precious jewels as well. I bet I'll be getting PLENTY that night!
As soon as I do all these things I'll post some more pics of my new NEW Fierte!
Can't wait.
Hal
It looks pretty slick but...you know, with the winter months upon us, I've begun to imagine a really tricked out bike to ride for next season; something that I can take to the "next level" which won't look like (groan) EVERY OTHER FIERTE TI OUT THERE.
Here's what I've come up with so far:
1. Replace that boring VDO computer. Real men don't rely on elitist computer chips made out of some nano-molecular material you can't even see to tell them how fast they're going. Real men use a good-old retro speedometer.
2. Let them know I'm coming. Somehow, "OPEN YOUR EYES YOU A**HOLE!" just doesn't seem to cut it when some pony-tailed prick cuts me off in his Prius. Nothing less than a blast from my Sumo-siren will do, unless it's a honk from my screaming skull horn. Better yet, I'm going to put an "ahh-ooh-gah" bulb on too, and serenade them in stereo (but I'll learn to ride with no hands first, okay?)
3. Those Dura-Ace rims sure are boring. Silver skull valve caps say, "I'm a tough guy" really well! "Pink Dice" say, "Who cares what you think?" while "Coneheads" say, "I smoked too much pot and watched too much SNL in the 80's to care." I think I'll accessorize with some snappy spoke beads for a unique road sound as well.
4. Top it all off. Streamers and a basket are more than just fun, they are PRACTICAL! Whatever shall I do if Paris loses her Chihuahua again?
5. I won't forget the missus! Yeah...I know I blew the kid's tuition on my bike, and for our 25th anniversary my wife was really looking forward to diamonds and dinner at Babbo's. That selfish strumpet! Well, I'll make it up to her. I'll just heat up a can of Prego and serve her "Peloton-style" with this special pasta. Then I'll give her these precious jewels as well. I bet I'll be getting PLENTY that night!
As soon as I do all these things I'll post some more pics of my new NEW Fierte!
Can't wait.
Hal