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Exonerv
05-08-2013, 03:30 PM
As a guy who has been compulsively reading bike ads & classifieds for the past year, I've noticed certain words get used to the point of just being meaningless.

My favorite word to hate of late is "bombproof" especially in regard to wheels, but I've seen folks use it when describing handlebar tape. I mean...c'mon.
Perhaps I need to get out more.

So let's have some fun with it. What words or phrases relating to bikes or cycling cause your eyes to roll back and your head to shake?

Vertically stiff...laterally compliant,

Mike

fatallightning
05-08-2013, 03:32 PM
robust. beefy. burly.

and with regards to race reports, journos seem to needlessly use penultimate ALL THE TIME.

alessandro
05-08-2013, 03:43 PM
Minty.

modernfuturist
05-08-2013, 03:51 PM
"rides like a dream"

Jeff N.
05-08-2013, 04:01 PM
torsional ridgidity is my favorite.

Ardan MacNessa
05-08-2013, 04:04 PM
Loads of charm = Needs a lot of work

New and improved = Opened under a different name and tax number

Reduced price = No one noticed, offered or was interested so back to the top

Completely redesigned = Read the fine print or you'll poke your eye out

Traditional = You're cheap, me too, buy it

Classic = If you like the smell of moth balls and velvet pleats

Minty = Like new, almost ...except for a scratch and a slight dent, and some paint that's faded and tires that won't hold air

9/10 = The only two numbers remembered between meth minty hits

chengher87
05-08-2013, 04:05 PM
"Shaving Grams"

In the long run, how much will 2-5 lbs effect the non-racer? None.

bozman
05-08-2013, 04:08 PM
torsionally stiff, vertically compliant

T.J.
05-08-2013, 04:11 PM
The one that always gets me is " never raced" :rolleyes:

CNY rider
05-08-2013, 04:14 PM
Epic.

Aaron O
05-08-2013, 04:19 PM
Rare! - I've never heard of it and had to use google
One of a kind - one of a kind due to the horrible thing that I did to it which makes it likely worthless to everyone else.
Have to see it! - I can't take decent photos and don't know how photo sharing sights work.
Like new! - left to rot for __years.
It won't last! - I took a marketing class in my freshman year.
Vintage! - old and unwanted.
Hand made! - by a drunken brit or frog during a labor strike.
Some scratches - my wife took a knife to it after she found me with the babysitter.
Upgraded fork - I crashed it and hope you don't notice the headtube.
Makes a great city bike - it's not worth stealing.

BumbleBeeDave
05-08-2013, 04:23 PM
"Old school" . . . Used to be anything more than 30 years old was "old school." Now it seems to be anything older than TEN years! This inevitably includes items I bought in the 90's and sometimes still have in my basement. Make these people stop using this term! It's making me feel old!

"rare" . . . totally and completely degraded. If you trusted eBay, EVERYTHING is rare . . .

BBD

Lanterne Rouge
05-08-2013, 04:25 PM
"It's a fast bike" Er no.......the rider is fast the bike it merely the tool.

Aaron O
05-08-2013, 04:27 PM
My bike shop said it's worth ___! - notice they didn't offer to pay you ___.
Needs a little work - bike has never been cleaned, lubed, etc. It will need to be totally overhauled.
Got this from my ___ as a gift and don't want it - stole it from a young child...and I ate his candy.
Save on gas! - Just got a DUI? Use this for the next year.
Durable! - Heavy and slow.
These sell for ___ on eBay! - one crazy guy has listed it there for the past 3 years without selling it. He only listed it to tell his wife he was getting rid of it without getting rid of it.

Columbus SLX
05-08-2013, 04:32 PM
My favorite is:

"C Record era"

binxnyrwarrsoul
05-08-2013, 04:34 PM
NOS, or close. :rolleyes:

Aaron O
05-08-2013, 04:35 PM
My favorite is:

"C Record era"

I coughed up coffee on this one...that ALWAYS drives me nuts. Well played!

MattTuck
05-08-2013, 04:45 PM
"Old school" . . . Used to be anything more than 30 years old was "old school." Now it seems to be anything older than TEN years! This inevitably includes items I bought in the 90's and sometimes still have in my basement. Make these people stop using this term! It's making me feel old!

"rare" . . . totally and completely degraded. If you trusted eBay, EVERYTHING is rare . . .

BBD

Pretty soon any bike with shift cables will be called 'old school', even if it is brand new.

Exonerv
05-08-2013, 04:47 PM
Less than "x" miles.
My son likes to say, Yeah, but they were all vertical."

TPetsch
05-08-2013, 04:53 PM
Custom.

One of a kind.

All parts were hand chosen.

Harnesses the powers of the sun God Ra to help propel.

false_Aest
05-08-2013, 05:14 PM
aero.

Steve in SLO
05-08-2013, 05:20 PM
Gently used
Less than 500 miles
Small ____s not noticeable when riding
Bought from a fellow forumite
Superficial _____

vav
05-08-2013, 06:05 PM
I wish it was my size...

Exonerv
05-08-2013, 06:18 PM
Oh that is funny...

I wish it was my size...

firerescuefin
05-08-2013, 06:22 PM
aero.

http://forums.thepaceline.net/showpost.php?p=1344128&postcount=1

;)

gavingould
05-08-2013, 06:32 PM
re: BOMBPROOF -

how come I never see bomb shelters made outta 32h 3x Ambrosio Nemesis?

oldpotatoe
05-08-2013, 06:33 PM
robust. beefy. burly.

and with regards to race reports, journos seem to needlessly use penultimate ALL THE TIME.

No, just before their last report.

gavingould
05-08-2013, 06:35 PM
"massively oversized" when referring to any tube.
"sick" anything

ctcyclistbob
05-08-2013, 06:42 PM
I also notice a lot of statements like "less than 100 miles", or some small number.

It's really amazing to me how many people would take the time and/or undergo the expense to build up a frame, or a wheel, ride it less than 100 miles and then take it apart to sell it or a part of it. Generally unbelievable ...

fourflys
05-08-2013, 06:43 PM
'Nago or anything where we just can't seem to type out the whole word...

fourflys
05-08-2013, 06:44 PM
No, just before their last report.

awesome! :banana:

Waldo
05-08-2013, 07:26 PM
tapered head tube

beeatnik
05-08-2013, 07:46 PM
Never dropped
Never ridden in the rain

tuscanyswe
05-08-2013, 07:49 PM
"if this was my size it would be sold allrdy"

plugkev
05-08-2013, 07:49 PM
Cosmetic

retrofit
05-08-2013, 08:00 PM
Just tuned-up

Looks just like this photo (I ripped off from the internet).

Louis
05-08-2013, 08:01 PM
Hipster

Steve in SLO
05-08-2013, 08:40 PM
'Nago or anything where we just can't seem to type out the whole word...

Agreed. POTD!

Louis
05-08-2013, 08:42 PM
Agreed. POTD!

What about Campy?

Exonerv
05-08-2013, 09:45 PM
On a related note...I'm reminded of this video:

http://youtu.be/GMCkuqL9IcM

majorpat
05-08-2013, 10:02 PM
re: BOMBPROOF -

how come I never see bomb shelters made outta 32h 3x Ambrosio Nemesis?

I tell planes where to drop bombs for a living and I can assure you, even 36 spoke old school tubulars are no match for a GBU-12!

Steve in SLO
05-08-2013, 10:05 PM
What about Campy?

For every rule there is an exception. This is no exception.

fourflys
05-08-2013, 10:13 PM
For every rule there is an exception. This is no exception.

most of us can't spell the whole word... (Plus it wouldn't fit into my sig line spelled out) :D

avalonracing
05-08-2013, 10:28 PM
Well, today on the forum classified it is: "Longshot"

vav
05-08-2013, 10:36 PM
Nothing beats ebaumann in the classifieds :p

Well, today on the forum classified it is: "Longshot"

joosttx
05-08-2013, 10:51 PM
First world problems
Credit card tour
Internet
Racism
CONUS
Brifters
Taint paint

Exonerv
05-08-2013, 11:01 PM
Why...yes...yes it is :)

What are the odds?

Well, today on the forum classified it is: "Longshot"

Exonerv
05-08-2013, 11:35 PM
Alright...now that we have some material, let's write an ad and post it over on the classified.


Minty and totally bombproof set of torsionally stiff, vintage, campy wheels pulled off my Nago just this morning. Fresh and sick! Never dropped, never ridden in the rain. Epic, old school C Record era hubs. Aero and never raced! Less than 1 actual mile. I only rolled these across the garage to box them for shipping and man were they fast and smooth as butter. Purchased from a fellow forumite last Thursday, but decided to go another route on my build.

I'll include both Shimano/Sram & Campy free hubs, so these are your size and, yes they are already sold. The penultimate long shot deal of a lifetime! Just tuned up and ready to go.

Will ship only in CONUS. (Note: small cosmetic burr in brake track, not noticeable when riding)

What'd I miss? :) Needs a title...

plugkev
05-08-2013, 11:45 PM
Only thing missing ...

Oh might need that ...

DRZRM
05-08-2013, 11:45 PM
Never ridden in the rain

That's the one I was waiting for. It's just sort of sad, and who cares? That's why I prefer to buy used ti, so what if it got wet.

joosttx
05-08-2013, 11:53 PM
I have not heard "minty" before but I have to say that maybe the worst of all.

Exonerv
05-08-2013, 11:56 PM
Minty and totally bombproof set of torsionally stiff, vintage, campy wheels pulled off my Nago just this morning. Fresh and sick! Never dropped, never ridden in the rain. Epic, old school C Record era hubs. Aero and never raced! Less than 1 actual mile. I only rolled these across the garage to box them for shipping and man were they fast and smooth as butter. Purchased from a fellow forumite last Thursday, but decided to go another route on my build.

I'll include both Shimano/Sram & Campy free hubs, so these are your size and, yes they are already sold. The penultimate long shot deal of a lifetime! Just tuned up and ready to go.

Will ship only in CONUS. (Note: small cosmetic burr in brake track, not noticeable when riding)

Originally Posted by eBAUMANN
Oh might need that ...

enr1co
05-09-2013, 01:41 AM
These two descriptions seem common in mt bikes ads:

"Climbs like a scalded cat"

or "Climbs like monkey with its balls on fire"

learningtoride
05-09-2013, 02:58 AM
:

beeatnik
05-09-2013, 03:58 AM
wocka wocka wocka

binxnyrwarrsoul
05-09-2013, 07:29 AM
"I only rolled these across the garage to box them for shipping and man were they fast and smooth as butter."

POTD.

avalonracing
05-09-2013, 08:50 AM
Alright...now that we have some material, let's write an ad and post it over on the classified.


Minty and totally bombproof set of torsionally stiff, vintage, campy wheels pulled off my Nago just this morning. Fresh and sick! Never dropped, never ridden in the rain. Epic, old school C Record era hubs. Aero and never raced! Less than 1 actual mile. I only rolled these across the garage to box them for shipping and man were they fast and smooth as butter. Purchased from a fellow forumite last Thursday, but decided to go another route on my build.

I'll include both Shimano/Sram & Campy free hubs, so these are your size and, yes they are already sold. The penultimate long shot deal of a lifetime! Just tuned up and ready to go.

Will ship only in CONUS. (Note: small cosmetic burr in brake track, not noticeable when riding)



Hell, maybe those words work because I'm ready to buy these imaginary wheels!

DoubleButted
05-09-2013, 09:23 AM
Not a phrase per se, but I love it when they show a picture of the cycle computer odometer as proof of the mileage. :rolleyes:

54ny77
05-09-2013, 09:36 AM
"Feeler."

Kinda reminds me of this:

http://www.thedoctorstv.com/files/Image/1100/1100%20gallery/prostate%20exam.jpg

avalonracing
05-09-2013, 10:10 AM
That guy is enjoying that procedure WAY TOO MUCH!

fiamme red
05-09-2013, 10:30 AM
My favorite word to hate of late is "bombproof" especially in regard to wheels, but I've seen folks use it when describing handlebar tape. I mean...c'mon."So you say these wheels you're selling are bombproof?"
"Yep."
"Great, they'd be perfect for me then. I'm doing a bike tour of Syria this year."

fourflys
05-09-2013, 12:05 PM
the one that always gets me is "conus"


maybe that's just more a military term... BUT- being back in Alaska it's a pretty relevant term if you're buying or selling something... unless you use USPS flat rate, then it doesn't matter... put it this way, it cost me $400 to ship a fat bike to Kodiak from MN... AND it took about 3 weeks!

but I can see it sounding facetious to those that have never lived outside the lower 48... and I can't wait to get back down either! ;)

Black Dog
05-09-2013, 12:09 PM
Gently used
Less than 500 miles
Small ____s not noticeable when riding
Bought from a fellow forumite
Superficial _____

In ads in Canada everything is less than 500 km (no joke). I guess we ride less before we sell!

jr59
05-09-2013, 12:36 PM
Alright...now that we have some material, let's write an ad and post it over on the classified.


Minty and totally bombproof set of torsionally stiff, vintage, campy wheels pulled off my Nago just this morning. Fresh and sick! Never dropped, never ridden in the rain. Epic, old school C Record era hubs. Aero and never raced! Less than 1 actual mile. I only rolled these across the garage to box them for shipping and man were they fast and smooth as butter. Purchased from a fellow forumite last Thursday, but decided to go another route on my build.

I'll include both Shimano/Sram & Campy free hubs, so these are your size and, yes they are already sold. The penultimate long shot deal of a lifetime! Just tuned up and ready to go.

Will ship only in CONUS. (Note: small cosmetic burr in brake track, not noticeable when riding)

What'd I miss? :) Needs a title...

Price? Got any pics?

fourflys
05-09-2013, 12:39 PM
http://www.treasurenet.com/forums/attachments/cleaning-preservation/435760d1332433644-how-do-i-clean-wheat-pennies-useless_without_pics_2.gif.jpg

azrider
05-09-2013, 12:44 PM
"Moving to 'sponsored' frame"....wheels...........shoes.................brifter s

c'mon

eippo1
05-09-2013, 12:57 PM
This thread is priceless and the fake ad is great. Most of us who do sales in the shop where I part-time dropped the phrase "bombproof" from our lexicon after the marathon.

I can't believe "grouppo" hasn't been mentioned yet. Another one is Spesh. There are also fun things that come from customers like, "I'd like to look at a Trek Specialized..." or "I want a bike but I don't race or anything" (while looking at a Globe Daily with a basket) or "how will this bike make me faster" or "I don't care what you say, I want my only bike be a Cervelo P5 for group rides with my friends"

mktng
05-09-2013, 01:05 PM
guy bought it for $500
now trying to flip for $1500

excuse.

I had thought it was a 56-57 but it's a 53.

http://www.pinkbike.com/buysell/1322772/

I think this one takes the cake .

sucks because I bought another bike off the original owner of this marinoni. The couple wanted the bike to goto a new good home where it can be used and loved. They specified that they wanted to avoid selling it to a flipper..... then this guy comes around

forgot to mention.
Original ad from original owner stated in title and ad that this was a 53cm

enr1co
05-09-2013, 01:56 PM
How about overused ad responses:

"If only this was a ___ cm, this would be mine!" ;)

chengher87
05-09-2013, 02:44 PM
guy bought it for $500
now trying to flip for $1500

excuse.

I had thought it was a 56-57 but it's a 53.

http://www.pinkbike.com/buysell/1322772/

I think this one takes the cake .

sucks because I bought another bike off the original owner of this marinoni. The couple wanted the bike to goto a new good home where it can be used and loved. They specified that they wanted to avoid selling it to a flipper..... then this guy comes around

forgot to mention.
Original ad from original owner stated in title and ad that this was a 53cm

If he doesn't get the price he wants?! He's gonna keep a bike that is too small for him? This is a similar listing:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Colnago-Classic-Road-Bike-Great-Condition-/290912600064?pt=US_Bicycles_Frames&hash=item43bbbe0000

He says he might just start riding again....I usually never buy from people who say that they could pull the sale at any moment.

bluesea
05-09-2013, 02:47 PM
How about overused ad responses:

"If only this was a ___ cm, this would be mine!" ;)





^ I resemble that wishfulness!

mistermo
07-25-2013, 03:55 PM
epic.
+1000

josephr
07-25-2013, 04:02 PM
I tell planes where to drop bombs for a living and I can assure you, even 36 spoke old school tubulars are no match for a GBU-12!

pictures???
Joe

A.Danger
07-25-2013, 04:56 PM
"Spins like butter" and "immaculate".

MadRocketSci
07-25-2013, 07:04 PM
I'm sure I will regret selling this

cc700
07-25-2013, 07:28 PM
"I don't want to sell but I'm _________"

Even I do this.


When I see it done I just substitute "an ******le" for whatever lame excuse they state.

liray
07-25-2013, 07:38 PM
These "breaks" are in great condition.
I want to "sale" my bike.

oldpotatoe
07-26-2013, 08:09 AM
'Boat anchor'..never, ever have seen a bicycle be used as a 'boat anchor'..