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Dude
04-10-2013, 02:01 PM
So I've worked in the "biz" for many, many years. And there are you standard "made up" products that you teach new hires about just to mess with them (saddle bearings, non-drive side saddle bearings, Rim lube, etc).

A prank I used to play on other shops (we were all friends anyway) would be to call up and ask if they had any bells. Then, I'd say my son is very particular and if they could ring some of the bells into the phone. Ask what color it is. Ask if you they could ring another color bell. See how long you can go. It's fun.

rugbysecondrow
04-10-2013, 02:07 PM
So I've worked in the "biz" for many, many years. And there are you standard "made up" products that you teach new hires about just to mess with them (saddle bearings, non-drive side saddle bearings, Rim lube, etc).

A prank I used to play on other shops (we were all friends anyway) would be to call up and ask if they had any bells. Then, I'd say my son is very particular and if they could ring some of the bells into the phone. Ask what color it is. Ask if you they could ring another color bell. See how long you can go. It's fun.

Awesome.

when I was in the Air Force, we would get these new folks straight from school who knew EVERYTHING, and would tell you about it. We would occasionally send them around the base (obviously calling everybody in advance)in search of 1000' of flight line, a 10,000' ceiling jack and some other stuff one person would send them to another, then another etc. Finally, after about 3-4 hours of walking around, somebody would tell them they had been had.

batman1425
04-10-2013, 02:29 PM
I was at a local shop a couple weeks back to get a freewheel removed. Another patron walks in while I'm waiting for the mechanic who wanted a horn for his commuter bike. He proceeded to honk every horn they had about 40 times each, comparing tones. This whole escapade took him a solid 10 minutes of continuous honking. The look on the shop guys faces were priceless. After the first 10 honks, each one looked like they wanted to take a bat to the guy, but they just smiled and asked if he needed any help. His was response, "no I'm just trying to decided which one".

Priceless.


Edit: The guy did end up buying one.

DerekB
04-10-2013, 05:12 PM
Dude, I really hope you are riding more than ringing our poor local shops' (plural intended) bells!!!!
How are things?

false_Aest
04-10-2013, 05:53 PM
I worked at a Performance for 3 years in HS. Everyone there knew it was a joke. Everything was a joke.

So we'd call the other Performance stores and try to pull **** on them.

One store had a grand opening and was giving away free pumps. We got the girl at the shop to call and ask about the quality of the pump. If it'd pump up car tires, basketballs, etc. Asked the dude to hold it for her. Took 2 minutes of girl-whining to get him to do it. Then she asked if she could return it for store credit if it didn't match her bike.

----

Other things:

Ask to talk to the store manager. Describe how you just purchased a bike and while riding along the stem pulled off and you crashed.

Another P store did that to our manager. I've never seen someone's look so scared.

biker72
04-10-2013, 05:59 PM
Awesome.

when I was in the Air Force, we would get these new folks straight from school who knew EVERYTHING, and would tell you about it. We would occasionally send them around the base (obviously calling everybody in advance)in search of 1000' of flight line, a 10,000' ceiling jack and some other stuff one person would send them to another, then another etc. Finally, after about 3-4 hours of walking around, somebody would tell them they had been had.

In the Navy we had them look for relative bearing oil.....:)

firerescuefin
04-10-2013, 06:04 PM
Awesome.

when I was in the Air Force, we would get these new folks straight from school who knew EVERYTHING, and would tell you about it. We would occasionally send them around the base (obviously calling everybody in advance)in search of 1000' of flight line, a 10,000' ceiling jack and some other stuff one person would send them to another, then another etc. Finally, after about 3-4 hours of walking around, somebody would tell them they had been had.

.....or prop wash :cool: .....we would also send guys outside with IR camera when base ops would announce lightning watch...that was funny to watch...and very hard to keep a straight face when assigning.

toytech
04-10-2013, 06:34 PM
In high school auto shop the standard was to send the newb to the tool room to look for a roll of pipe thread.
At the dealership I work at we send new hires to the office for their turkey voucher :banana:

A1CKot
04-10-2013, 06:50 PM
In the Navy we had them look for relative bearing oil.....:)

We send them to support and have them get us some K9-P. Or the old "go get the key to the jet."

majorpat
04-10-2013, 06:54 PM
Send the new kid to the Sgt Maj and ask for the PRC-E9

gdw
04-10-2013, 07:39 PM
At Ft Bragg we'd send the obnoxious new guys to battalion to ask the Sgt Major for the keys to the drop zone before a jump.

jr59
04-10-2013, 07:47 PM
Ask them for a sock count. Then ask how many left and right socks, because the customers sometimes mismatched them!

pakora
04-10-2013, 07:49 PM
A classic in a kitchen line is to to ask a kid who's never worked in a kitchen for bags of steam for the steam table.

I've seen dishwashers asked to do inventory, finish in 5 minutes, and then get asked, "hey great since you did that so fast can you do ice now?" and point to the ice machine. I watched one guy on his first day stand there staring into the ice machine for a couple of minutes wondering how it could possibly be done. Line guys all straight-faced working. Only broken up by the manager walking by who without a word knew exactly what was happening.

bikinchris
04-10-2013, 08:29 PM
At the dealership we worked at we woudl send the new parts runner to EVERY parts store in town looking for the lower radiator hose for a 1968 Karman Ghia. All of the parts stores were used to it, so they kept a straight face.
Muffler bearings were also popular. At least they learned where every parts store in town was after the first day.

ctcyclistbob
04-10-2013, 08:34 PM
Some I've heard of over the years:

Industrial: "Go find a bucket of steam"
Baseball : "Go get the keys to the batters box"
Medical: "Bring me the neck tourniquet"
Medical: "Go get the Otis elevator" (related to an instrument called an elevator)

eippo1
04-10-2013, 09:36 PM
Also fun when ur a camp counselor is to wake kids up and ask them where the keys to the van are. Actually tried that in my wife and never failed to get a hilarious result

msl819
04-10-2013, 11:07 PM
Some I've heard of over the years:

Industrial: "Go find a bucket of steam"
Baseball : "Go get the keys to the batters box"
Medical: "Bring me the neck tourniquet"
Medical: "Go get the Otis elevator" (related to an instrument called an elevator)

Baseball: Go to the shed and find a box of curve balls

In high school we used to tell girls they needed to go have their cars looked at because they needed their muffler bearing replaced or they needed more brake light fluid because their brake lights weren't bright enough.

oldpotatoe
04-11-2013, 07:44 AM
So I've worked in the "biz" for many, many years. And there are you standard "made up" products that you teach new hires about just to mess with them (saddle bearings, non-drive side saddle bearings, Rim lube, etc).

A prank I used to play on other shops (we were all friends anyway) would be to call up and ask if they had any bells. Then, I'd say my son is very particular and if they could ring some of the bells into the phone. Ask what color it is. Ask if you they could ring another color bell. See how long you can go. It's fun.

A real laugh riot, particularly for those of us who are real busy.

rugbysecondrow
04-11-2013, 08:02 AM
A real laugh riot, particularly for those of us who are real busy.

Old P, you might be crossing over from Retro Grouch to just Grouch. Who can't take time out of thier day for a laugh or to enjoy a good joke? :help:

My wife is a prankster and when she first started with her company, she and her friends would pull jokes on one another. One of the funniest was when she set her friends email notification "ding" to the orgamsm/restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally. Volume turned up, knobs taken off the speakers, then coworkers all just started shooting this person emails. I suspect you would get in trouble for that today, but funny as hell then.

One of my favs was when a cooworker was out of the office on sick leave (stomach issues) we removed his chair and bolted a toilet down in front of his computer for when he returned.


Good Times

oldpotatoe
04-11-2013, 08:06 AM
Old P, you might be crossing over from Retro Grouch to just Grouch. Who can't take time out of thier day for a laugh or to enjoy a good joke? :help:

My wife is a prankster and when she first started with her company, she and her friends would pull jokes on one another. One of the funniest was when she set her friends email notification "ding" to the orgamsm/restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally. Volume turned up, knobs taken off the speakers, then coworkers all just started shooting this person emails. I suspect you would get in trouble for that today, but funny as hell then.

One of my favs was when a cooworker was out of the office on sick leave (stomach issues) we removed his chair and bolted a toilet down in front of his computer for when he returned.


Good Times

whatever..retail does that to you. Labor of 'like' for sure.

charliedid
04-11-2013, 08:12 AM
So I've worked in the "biz" for many, many years. And there are you standard "made up" products that you teach new hires about just to mess with them (saddle bearings, non-drive side saddle bearings, Rim lube, etc).

A prank I used to play on other shops (we were all friends anyway) would be to call up and ask if they had any bells. Then, I'd say my son is very particular and if they could ring some of the bells into the phone. Ask what color it is. Ask if you they could ring another color bell. See how long you can go. It's fun.

Yep

We had a high school kid convinced that we used both Presta and Schrader air. He'd be filling a tire or fixing it and someone would walk past and say "don't forget to use the Presta air hose."

Another kid was told that our shop was so green that the cardboard recycling went directly to the plant that made the paper for our paychecks and we needed to write the shop name on each bike box before recycling.

Great stuff.

Red bells sound best.

charliedid
04-11-2013, 08:13 AM
A real laugh riot, particularly for those of us who are real busy.

No wonder you don't have employees.

oldpotatoe
04-11-2013, 08:15 AM
No wonder you don't have employees.

I do have employees.

charliedid
04-11-2013, 08:22 AM
I do have employees.

I know, I suspect they don't turn over very often and are not in high school...

All good.

oldpotatoe
04-11-2013, 08:25 AM
I know, I suspect they don't turn over very often and are not in high school...

All good.

Nope they are all old and grumpy like me...

firerescuefin
04-11-2013, 08:25 AM
A real laugh riot, particularly for those of us who are real busy.

I know you didn't play any shenanigans on the new pilots/flightcrews in the Navy:rolleyes:

The OPs take was in jest (I believe)

charliedid
04-11-2013, 08:26 AM
Nope they are all old and grumpy like me...

Perfecto!

Ken Robb
04-11-2013, 10:53 AM
The new kids at Boy Scout Camp got sent down to the boat house for 10' of shore line. Most of them were too smart to ask for a left-handed monkey wrench.

rugbysecondrow
04-11-2013, 11:52 AM
I saw this from a friend this morning and thought of this thread. He works in a Building and Zoning office:

"I play jokes on my staff all the time. Sometimes they are pretty good like...due to budget cuts we have to cut your hours in half or the mayor is really upsest with you for x,y,z...kinda jokes. They got me good today and told me they accidentally demolished the wrong house. Totally believed them and almost flipped the f@ out. First time they've gotten me. Well played staff."

Paybacks are a MF

Nooch
04-11-2013, 11:56 AM
When I first started working at my previous job (payroll), I got back from lunch and found a sticky note on my desk:

"Call Mr. Lyon for Payroll - (718) 367-1010"

The number was for the Bronx Zoo.

jet sanchez
04-11-2013, 02:44 PM
Mashed potatoes in a cupcake wrapper look very close to a vanilla cupcake, especially if you add a cherry and a some chocolate sauce. Working in a kitchen, we would make a half dozen of bite sized ones and tell the new hire that no one had ever been able to eat six in under a minute ;)

cdn_bacon
04-11-2013, 02:54 PM
But there was a local shop that I used to detest because unless you were purchasing a 5000+ bike, the staff always had something else to do.

Got my revenge though. They had a sale on 2 year old SPECIALIZED RD PRO shoes..

So I went in to give them my money for the pair, which did not end up fitting. So..... I tried on the next size up. Which did fit and were a 2013 model that were stuffed in the pile of sale shoes.

muuuuuuch nicer.


Sorry they had to sell it to me for the sale price.:cool:

rugbysecondrow
04-11-2013, 02:54 PM
Mashed potatoes in a cupcake wrapper look very close to a vanilla cupcake, especially if you add a cherry and a some chocolate sauce. Working in a kitchen, we would make a half dozen of bite sized ones and tell the new hire that no one had ever been able to eat six in under a minute ;)

I just spit water up on myself...that is hilarious.

gaucho753
04-12-2013, 04:54 AM
When my wife (then girlfriend) and I first got out of college, we both worked in random temp jobs for a couple months while looking for more permanent jobs. One assignment sent her to a bathroom showroom doing clerical/reception work. She's been there a couple days when I decided to prank call her. I called and disguised my voice and said "My toilets keep getting clogged. This toilet you sold me isn't cutting it. I need a toilet with a bigger hole at the bottom. Do you have any models that can handle really big craps?" I couldn't believe she didn't recognize me, and so I went on like this until she finally said she'd have to go talk to her manager, which I knew she didn't want to do. I still get a kick out of that one.

veloduffer
04-12-2013, 06:43 AM
When I was in school, I worked at restaurant and we pulled pranks on the newb dishwashers. One time we had two of them squishing grapes with their bare feet in a pot because we ran out of cooking wine. Of course, we had them wash their feet first. Another time during a heavy rainstorm at night, we sent a couple with flashlight and pitchfork to look for potatoes in the woods. When they couldn't find any, we would send them back out to look harder.

Also if you worked a doubleshift, you were fed dinner. Occasionally the chef would bread and sauté some cardboard and pass it off as veal that was a bit dry. Many kids never had veal before. We let them get half way through it before we gave them real food.

We used to have a duck that was de-boned as an entree. One night the cook tied a duck bone carcass to a waitresses car grill. Later in the evening she was chased down by the police because a couple saw her car and thought she had hit and run somebody. The next day, we found out Hell hath no fury than a pranked woman.

Dave B
04-12-2013, 07:12 AM
I teach 105 6th grade boys and girls every day for my job.


There isn't a day that goes by I don't try to pull something on them.

I have developed military level straight face skills so they beleive everyhtng I tell them.

I am also Irish so my story telling is legen...wait for it...dary!

mnoble485
04-12-2013, 07:42 AM
In the construction trades it is common to send the new guy to get "bubble oil" for the level because it seemed to be sticking or a "stud stretcher" so we could save on lumber.

Mike

oldpotatoe
04-12-2013, 08:23 AM
I know you didn't play any shenanigans on the new pilots/flightcrews in the Navy:rolleyes:

The OPs take was in jest (I believe)

The best were when we were 'crossing the line'..going across the equator.
Shellbacks(been across before, were initiated), and polly-wogs. Had great fun with Wogs..like dressing a guy up in full flight gear, have him sit next to a head(toilet for you civilians), flush it every 10 minutes and report to the bridge the direction of the water..to report that it changed directions as we went into the southern hemisphere.

Much more fun w/o women onboard..the 'take a salt water shower on deck after getting disgusting in all the old food/trash/muck', initiation left when women came onboard. Too much sensitivity, glad I retired when I did(1993).

But once that was over, when flying..all biz, regardless of how many traps one had.

ClutchCargo
04-12-2013, 11:55 AM
This piece was published in the NY Times eleven years ago. I heard the author tell this story on an NPR "The Moth" episode that was aired on "This American Life". Pranks and practical jokes are intertwined in the fabric of baseball. And, despite being a Sox fan, I have a newfound respect for Don Mattingly!


BackTalk; A Batboy Learned the Ropes By Stretching a Little
By MATTHEW McGOUGH

The first pitch of the Yankees' 1992 season occurred halfway through 11th-grade math class. My high school principal said I could play hooky for the day. Batboys were expected at the Stadium three hours before game time.

Sitting in the Stadium bleachers the previous September, I'd wondered how the kid down the third base line had ended up in pinstripes. A series of letters to Yankee executives produced an interview with Nick Priore, the Yankee clubhouse manager at the time. Nick told me to come back opening day. I learned later that I was the first batboy in years to be hired without a ''connection.''

I walked into the clubhouse the morning of opening day dressed in a blue blazer and tie, carrying my book bag. It was a zoo. There must have been at least a hundred people in the clubhouse, a room about 80 feet long and 50 feet wide, thinly carpeted and ringed by open-faced lockers.

Dozens of reporters rushed around the room with camera crews. Carpenters, electricians and painters hurriedly put final touches on the clubhouse. An entourage from Mayor Dinkins's office milled around, mixing with uniformed cops and security men in dark suits. And weaving through the mob, in various states of dress, were the ballplayers, most of whom I recognized from TV but had ever seen only across rows and rows of stadium seats.

In the corner locker twice the size of any other sat Don Mattingly, Yankee captain. Donnie Baseball. The guy pictured in midswing on my bedroom wall. I swung my book bag off my shoulder, bumping a cameraman and drawing a midinterview scowl. I thought I'd better go find Nick.

I found him in the players' lounge, slicing cold cuts. His black hair was combed back and run through with grease. Clenched in his teeth was a soggy cigar. White athletic socks were hiked up to his knees above high-tops that appeared thoroughly worked over with shoe polish. ''What do you want me to do, Nick?'' I asked.

''Stay the hell out of the way,'' he answered without looking up. Two players walked over a second later: Nick, I can't find my spring training bag; old man, I need Nike batting gloves, I can't wear Adidas; Nicky, you have four AA batteries?

I must have looked as lost as I felt. I felt a tap on my shoulder and was suddenly face to face with the man himself. He had his hand extended toward me.

''Hey, I'm Don Mattingly,'' he said. ''You going to be working with us this year?''

I hadn't thought about my new job in these terms: working with the Yankees, in common pursuit of a common goal.

''Uh, I know who you are, Mr. Mattingly,'' I said, stuttering. ''I'm Matt, the new batboy.''

''Nice to meet you, Matt,'' he said with a firm handshake. ''Listen,'' he told me, as if I could have done anything else. ''I've got a job for you. I just unpacked my bats from spring training. I don't know if it was the humidity in Florida or the altitude of the flight or what, but they're all coming up short. I need you to get me a bat stretcher.''

I nodded, trying to project competence. Get a bat stretcher.

I located Nick digging through a trunk of underwear. ''Nick,'' I told him, ''I need a bat stretcher for Don Mattingly.'' I'd barely gotten the words out before Nick hit me with a barrage of expletives. Spittle hit my cheek. I'd never heard such a tirade before, not even in the movies. I scurried away, and confided in Nick's assistant. ''Don Mattingly asked me to get him a bat stretcher,'' I said, ''and Nick, uh, told me not to bother him.''

He put his hand on my shoulder and smiled. ''Try Tartabull, Matty,'' he said.

Danny Tartabull, the Yankees' power-hitting right fielder, was getting dressed on the other side of the clubhouse. He kicked at some baseball spikes at the foot of his locker before turning to face me. ''It's Matt?'' he asked. ''I was using it earlier, Matt, but I must have left it in the manager's office.'' I thanked him and checked my watch. Time was short, and I felt a heavy burden of responsibility. First pitch wasn't more than an hour or two away, and 60,000 fans were coming to see Don Mattingly lead the Yankees against the Red Sox. I didn't need anyone to explain to me that he wouldn't be able to do much against Roger Clemens with a shrunken piece of wood. Mattingly had asked me to help him, and I couldn't fathom what it might mean to let him down.

Buck Showalter sat behind the manager's desk, surrounded by a half-dozen reporters. I waited patiently until the conversation fell silent. ''I'm, uh, really sorry to interrupt, Mr. Showalter,'' I began. All eyes turned toward me. ''I'm Matt, the new batboy. Don Mattingly needs a bat stretcher because his bats shrunk on the way up from Fort Lauderdale, and Danny Tartabull had it before but, uh, he says he left it in here this morning.'' Showalter scanned the floor at the feet of the beat writers, and peered under his desk. ''In here? It's possible,'' he mused aloud. ''But do you need a right-handed or a left-handed one?''

Everyone knew Mattingly was one of the best left-handed hitters in baseball. ''Left-handed,'' I answered confidently.

''Well, Tartabull's isn't going to do Mattingly any good then, is it?'' he said. ''You better try down at the Red Sox clubhouse.'' I grinned weakly and excused myself from the room.

I found the Red Sox equipment manager right away, and recounted what I'd been through that morning. Given the traditional enmity between the two teams, I was relieved that he seemed willing to help. He checked his watch. ''You don't have much time,'' he said. ''We didn't bring a bat stretcher with us, but we could use one, too.'' He dug into his pocket and produced a $20 bill. ''Go up to 161st and buy two, a left-handed one for Mattingly and a right-handed one for us.''

By the time I got up to street level, the fans had begun to descend en masse on the Stadium. It took me 10 minutes to fight the human tide and make it to 161st and River Avenue. At the door of Stan's Sporting Goods, a thought crossed my mind. For someone about to pick two up at the store, I didn't even know what a bat stretcher looked like. I'd played baseball my whole life, but before that morning, I was pretty sure, I'd never even heard of a bat stretcher.

If there were bat stretchers to be bought and sold in the sporting goods stores around Yankee Stadium, there could be only one outcome worse than failing to produce one for Don Mattingly in his time of need: rolling back into the clubhouse and telling him, an hour before first pitch, that I was too smart for his line about stretching shrunken bats -- and being wrong.

What if I was wrong? I'd be ostracized at school. I'd be back in the bleachers, permanently. I wasn't sure which prospect was worse. I mulled it over during three full laps around the Stadium before I worked up enough courage to walk back into the clubhouse empty-handed to confront the ballplayers. The room erupted in laughter. Mattingly smirked at me from his corner locker. I tried to smirk back, trying hard to let them know that, yeah, you got me, but that's cool, I can be cool.

The rest of the day flew by. During the national anthem, I stood on the top step of the dugout, right between Frank Howard and Clete Boyer, first base and third base coaches. Joe DiMaggio threw out the first pitch and brushed me coming back through the dugout. Hitting third and using one of his spring training bats, Mattingly went 3 for 4 off Clemens, and the Yankees won my first game in pinstripes.

It's hard to say exactly what changed for me on opening day. I went home that night to the same parents and curfew and chores, to the same bunk bed that I shared with my little brother. I still had homework to do. I was no older, no more self-assured, and not really any wiser for having unwittingly stumbled through Mattingly's pregame game.

But I no longer felt like the fan I'd been before. I'd seen things that no one else I knew was wise to, and I knew I'd see more, as close to the action as if I'd been named to the Yankee roster itself.

Black Dog
04-12-2013, 11:35 PM
But there was a local shop that I used to detest because unless you were purchasing a 5000+ bike, the staff always had something else to do.

Got my revenge though. They had a sale on 2 year old SPECIALIZED RD PRO shoes..

So I went in to give them my money for the pair, which did not end up fitting. So..... I tried on the next size up. Which did fit and were a 2013 model that were stuffed in the pile of sale shoes.

muuuuuuch nicer.


Sorry they had to sell it to me for the sale price.:cool:

Hmmmm...La Bicicletta? :)

CaptStash
04-13-2013, 03:03 AM
Cleaning up my basement shop the other day I came across a cargo pump bearing I had squirreled away. Imagine a bearing ring with a hole about six inches in diameter, ball bearings about 3/4" dia., and weighing twenty-five pounds. I dragged it home from the ship thinking I would make a nice television turntable with it. Ok so it was a while ago, back when we had a CRT TV.

Anyway, I knew exactly what to do with it. I had to drop by my favorite shop to get a crown race put on a fork, so I threw the monster bearing in my backpack and headed out. As my buddy was installing the race, I mentioned how I had ordered a bottom bracket bearing online and I thought maybe I screwed up and wasn't sure it was correct, would he mind looking?

The look on his face when I hauled that beast out and thumped it on the counter was priceless. Good times.

CaptStash....

cash05458
04-13-2013, 07:59 AM
via work pranks...I am a mailman...offices usually have a substitute for regular carriers and days off ect and those subs will work at other offices when not needed at the home office ect...we had a girl...well, middle age woman working in our office named Karen...very nice but abit gullible...she hadn't been there for a few days so when she came in and was ready to go out on the street with her mail I said "hey, where is the high five?" holding my hand up..."you didn't hear the latest bs memo from management? We are now required to highfive and say go-ooo postal! before we head out onto the street "

No, she says...so I tell her that management came up with this idea to build team spirit...each time a carrier now leaves for the day's route they must go around the office and give everyone a high five...really she asks...yep, you know these idiots...so she half heartedly raises her hand...and I say, oh come on Karen, if we are going to do this put a lil feeling into it...hell, give it a try...so she gives me a good one and a great goooo postal and then proceeds to go around the building doing the same with the clerks and postmaster ect...everyone just stares at her wondering what the hell she is doing...

so she does this for 4 or 5 days in our office and then has to go to another office up the road for a few days...so I call ahead and talk to the head carrier up there and explain the situation...to make sure she is doing it up there...she is, and with a bit of gusto as well I hear...I let this go on for a few weeks in a few different offices til she circles back to ours and I break the news to her...new memo from higher ups...we are now forbidden to do the high five and go postal...management thinks it is bad for business and isnt cost productive ect...I think I only told her that I had cooked the whole thing up few years later...