People are interesting (some cycling content)

[1/2 Wheeler]

I attended a 3 day long training session on effective executive communications (bunch touchy feely BS). People were there from all over the country. Of the 23 of us, 4 were active cyclist.

During my conversation with one, when I asked him about his bikes he always answered with exact brand, model and year. I don't recall ever having someone emphasize the production year of their bikes like he did. Made me very aware of how equipment conscious many cyclist are.

Additionally, after telling me every detail of all 3 of his bikes, he never asked me anything about mine.

Not looking for any specific feedback, just found it very interesting.

[jvp]

occasionally I will encounter someone with a cool bike (while riding my cool bike), and will say "cool bike!, what year is it? (or whatever)...and they will tell me all about their bike. And never ask me about mine (which is obviously cooler!)...Happened a few weeks ago, they had a 70s motobecane road bike, I had a 70s zeus.

[MattTuck]

Wow, I guess there are two ways to read it. One, their self worth is psychologically tied up in the things they own, or two, they're just jerks.

The year thing is funny.

If someone ever does that to me, I'll tell them not just the year, but the month and the day on which my frame finished construction and was sent to paint. :rolleyes:


I think US cars made between 1950-1970 should be referred to by their years. and wines that cost more than $500 per bottle.

[gasman]

They are too self-absorbed to think of anyone else. Everyone likes to talk about themselves but not enough people ask others about themselves.

[William]

They are too self-absorbed to think of anyone else. Everyone likes to talk about themselves but not enough people ask others about themselves.

"Enough of me, let's talk about you. So, what do you think of me?":)




William

[gasman]

"Enough of me, let's talk about you. So, what do you think of me?":)




William
I think you're a great guy and would love to ride with you. Even if you went to OSU.

[William]

I think you're a great guy and would love to ride with you. Even if you went to OSU.

Quack!!:p


;););):)


William

[gasman]

Quack!!:p


;););):)


William

So I'm a Duck and a fake doctor :)

[William]

So I'm a Duck and a fake doctor :)

I would ride with you no matter what you are.;)




William

[rwsaunders]

Additionally, after telling me every detail of all 3 of his bikes, he never asked me anything about mine..

He must be in sales...:cool:

[bironi]

I've found over several years cycling that there are a lot of engineer/techie guys that love to talk specifics about bikes continuously. It bores the hell out of me. I prefer some fun on the road and after over a good beer and some other conversation topics.

[charliedid]

"Additionally, after telling me every detail of all 3 of his bikes, he never asked me anything about mine."

He should take the Effective Listening Seminar.

[Fishbike]

I had a networking lunch recently where the other guy never stopped talking. It's is pretty bad when you have finished your lunch and the other guy has not even started. I ordered more rolls just to have something to do. INSUFFERABLE!!!!!! I at least wish he was talking about bikes. . . . . .

[esldude]

I have found such people, even when they stop talking or pause, are only thinking of what they will say about themselves next. They are hardly listening to you at all. If you know that to be the case, you can create some pretty funny conversations for bystanders. One where everyone starts laughing and the self-absorbed talker does not quite know why.

[Steve in SLO]

I agree, in my experience narcissists and boors can be so tiring.

Now where was I? Oh, yes, I have to get back to shining up my 2009 Speedvagen personally fillet brazed by Sacha White and TIGged by Mike Desalvo, whom I met at the last NAHBS after driving up in my 2004 Porsche GT3. Atlas Grey, of course.

[ctcyclistbob]

They are too self-absorbed to think of anyone else. Everyone likes to talk about themselves but not enough people ask others about themselves.

I work with a guy who constantly talks about himself and his family, to the extent that when asked "How are you?", just answers "I'm fine", without ever asking "How are you?".

I have found such people, even when they stop talking or pause, are only thinking of what they will say about themselves next. They are hardly listening to you at all.

Agreed. Some of these people, when the other person speaks will just mindlessly say "Yeah" then launch into the next self-absorbed thought.

[Louis]

I've found over several years cycling that there are a lot of engineer/techie guys that love to talk specifics about bikes continuously.

This is interesting.

Of all my regular riding buddies, nearly all of whom are guys I work with and are engineers, I don't think a single one (including yours truly) takes this approach to bikes. We are technical when it comes to analyzing things and problem-solving, but in general aren't huge bike-techies.

[slidey]

+1

We are technical when it comes to analyzing things and problem-solving, but in general aren't huge bike-techies.

To me, bikes aren't worthwhile enough to invest my mental resources in.

[slidey]

My take on the convo you had is slightly different, and simpler. If you ask me a Q, then I'll give you an answer...but if I don't have a Q nor care for an answer, I won't ask you anything. Maybe the guy you were conversing with was not interested in knowing about your bike. :cool:

[bironi]

This is interesting.

Of all my regular riding buddies, nearly all of whom are guys I work with and are engineers, I don't think a single one (including yours truly) takes this approach to bikes. We are technical when it comes to analyzing things and problem-solving, but in general aren't huge bike-techies.

Well then, let's get together for a nice ride.
Byron

[fogrider]

This is interesting.

Of all my regular riding buddies, nearly all of whom are guys I work with and are engineers, I don't think a single one (including yours truly) takes this approach to bikes. We are technical when it comes to analyzing things and problem-solving, but in general aren't huge bike-techies.

I think we all can appreciate a nice bike, but it's a tool to an end. but yes, it's just rude not to at least pretend to care. and yes, it's kind of strange to state the year.

[1/2 Wheeler]

My take on the convo you had is slightly different, and simpler. If you ask me a Q, then I'll give you an answer...but if I don't have a Q nor care for an answer, I won't ask you anything. Maybe the guy you were conversing with was not interested in knowing about your bike. :cool:

So, you are saying that he was not interested in my bikes and that is why he didn't ask about them. Very good point.

[1/2 Wheeler]

..., it's just rude not to at least pretend to care...

In principle I agree and that is probably why I noticed. However, as it turned out, he really was a very nice, but rather strange, guy.

And yes, he was an Engineer.

[Gummee]

Funny thing... bike production years. New enough and no one cares. Its only when things get older that years start to have meaning again. My main road bike is a Y2K Quattro Assi. Only mention that 'cause I think its fun to point out that the bike that's helping me kick yer arse is going on 13 years old.

You DO NOT need the latest and greatest to go fast.

M

[handsomerob]

He must be in sales...:cool:

Likely not... Or at least not good at it anyway.

A good salesman knows it is far better to listen than talk.

Tell me why you like your bike? What would you change about your current bike?

[BumbleBeeDave]

. . . are baffling. On one hand is the guy who never stops talking about himself and never asks about you. On the other extreme is someone with whom you have to keep asking question to keep the conversation going. Otherwise there would be no conversation.

I have more trouble with the latter. I've become very aware as I've gotten older that I myself can be the former, so I've made real efforts to change my behavior. When I run into someone who gives one word answers it's difficult to get a conversation going without talking about my experiences because for the most part they are my only frame of reference. I'd love to hear about what interests them if they would only tell me what it is.

BBD

[Louis]

I'm hardly a psychoanalyst, but IMO what it comes down to, regardless of what end of the spectrum best describes you, is being self-aware, and aware of the people around you.

For example, we all know folks who just babble on and on about something you couldn't care less about. You send all sorts of body-language and verbal hints saying "OK, I've had enough of this conversation" but they just keep going. I always ask myself "Don't these people understand what they're doing? Don't they pick up the social cues telling them that you're bored to tears?"

If you aren't able to step back and see your behavior in some objective way, if you're not even aware of what's going on in your own little world, well, interesting things will happen.

[slidey]

Yeah, I think so. If i'm at a conference and I meet up with another cyclist and the above situation ensues, I can definitely picture myself as the guy you are describing - polite enough to answer your Q, that's all. If however, you were to ask me about something pertinent to the subject matter of the conference, say what's new in this area and what do you think about it, etc then we'd be having a back-forth convo going, to the point that each of us makes sense and aren't just yanking stuff out of one's derriere.

In short, location and timing have a lot to do with it!

So, you are saying that he was not interested in my bikes and that is why he didn't ask about them. Very good point.

[1/2 Wheeler]

Yeah, I think so. If i'm at a conference and I meet up with another cyclist and the above situation ensues, I can definitely picture myself as the guy you are describing - polite enough to answer your Q, that's all. If however, you were to ask me about something pertinent to the subject matter of the conference, say what's new in this area and what do you think about it, etc then we'd be having a back-forth convo going, to the point that each of us makes sense and aren't just yanking stuff out of one's derriere.

In short, location and timing have a lot to do with it!

My initial reply (http://forums.thepaceline.net/showpost.php?p=1257810&postcount=22)to you is a tactic taught in the class I took. The teacher referred to it as "paraphrasing" while I would call it parroting.

He suggested paraphrasing whatever was said to you back to the other person.

While it seems absolutely ridiculous to me, I have been doing it mostly for fun and it is surprising how well received it is.

The professor suggested that we use it during "conflict" or when dealing with people that might have low self confidence. Apparently it makes them feel that you were really listening and that their opinion matters.

The only thing is that since the people think you care what they have to say, they talk even more.

[h2oxtc]

I am an engineer ... I like my bike because the color is blue.

[monkeybanana86]

i am an engineer ... I like my bike because the color is blue.

lol

[d_douglas]

I rode with this dude for a few years who logged LOTS of miles as a recreational cyclist (over 10000 per year) and was a very competent cyclist in every way. I rode a ti Serotta and he rode an old beaten Cannondale CAAD3 or something with 9spd Ultegra.

He made a point of being disinterested in my bike (surely as a nod to my insecurity in knowing that he triples my mileage on a crappy bike) and then decided to go for his 'dream' bike and got a Colnago C50. He suddenly was interested in describing every detail of the bike, ever mm of adjustment etc. and it was interesting to see this change. It did not, however, reduce his ability to log many many miles on two wheels, which did impress me.

I had my first child at about the same time that he got his C50 and my cycling has diminished ever since due to family committments. Frustrating, but such is life. He and I rarely rode together afterwards because, as a childless person, he did not get it, and furthermore, he tended to ridicule me for having these crazy tastes in bikes when I couldn't 'use' them the way he did.

What I really learned from this was that some people are pricks. He was one of them, and I wondered why I spent a few years wasting time with him when I could've been enjoying the scenery by myself :)

THE END!

[shovelhd]

Similar, but different. After a race, I run across guys who want to go over every little detail of the race we just finished. Somehow they are able to replay every moment like their brain is a camcorder. I can't do that. It takes me hours, often 24-36 hours, to fully absorb what happened in any particular race. When I'm racing, I am totally focused on every little thing, gathering data, adjusting to the plan, making decisions, and executing. It's mentally exhausting. I guess I'm just wired differently. So my end of these conversations are often "Yeah".

FWIW I am an engineer.

[SPOKE]

Don't get me started......:)