I am so tried of being like a drunk man

[Fixed]

I stagger when I walk, I am slow to find the right words . Even thoriugh I am strong and flexible .in yoga I can't stand on one leg for anything no matter how hard I try . Despite a decade of shotokan karate when I was a kid.
I went to the y to go swim on my tethered swimming device that i have to use
To keep from getting dizzy .
I am sitting on the deck warming up , the maintance guys come in with leaf blowers
The sound gave me a terrible headache that almost made me vomit .
One good thing today the audio plug in the mx5 I am driving works with my iPad so I can listen to soothing music while I try to drive the three miles down back streets to the y.
I miss riding my bike nothing can take it's place .i try to tell myself be thankful for what you have ..
Sorry for the rant
Cheers

[Aaron O]

I stagger when I walk, I am slow to find the right words . Even thoriugh I am strong and flexible .in yoga I can't stand on one leg for anything no matter how hard I try . Despite a decade of shotokan karate when I was a kid.
I went to the y to go swim on my tethered swimming device that i have to use
To keep from getting dizzy .
I am sitting on the deck warming up , the maintance guys come in with leaf blowers
The sound gave me a terrible headache that almost made me vomit .
One good thing today the audio plug in the mx5 I am driving works with my iPad so I can listen to soothing music while I try to drive the three miles down back streets to the y.
I miss riding my bike nothing can take it's place .i try to tell myself be thankful for what you have ..
Sorry for the rant
Cheers

I don't understand what you're going through, but I support you. I wish you the best. I'm thinking about you. Probably not real helpful, but I'll think about you while riding, poorly, after work today.

[MattTuck]

Hang in there. I know it must be hard.

[AngryScientist]

hang in there fixed. your posts are always enlightening. keep up the good fight, i sincerely hope there is some light at the end of whatever tunnel you are in, i wish you the best in that endeavor. cheers.

[Ray]

I feel for you Fixed buddy. I remember how much you loved riding - your enthusiasm for the activity came through loud and clear in your posts. I'm very sorry for what you're going through although I don't know specifically what it is. I've seen you reference TBI at some point and I know that can be anywhere from sort of bad to very very bad and I don't know what happened or where you are, but I wish you the very best in dealing with it. I hope your injury didn't happen on the bike? In any case, all we can do during difficult times is persevere so hang in there.

I'm not riding as much as I used to but that's by choice - your inability to ride sounds like its anything BUT a choice and I just wish you the best. My hopes and thoughts are with you...

-Ray

[rpm]

Oh man, I feel for you. Last winter I had a sudden attack of vertigo which led to surgery to remove a cluster of malformed blood vessels from my cerebellum. Afterwards, I went to an inpatient rehab facility with double vision and the inability to walk a straight line. I had to have somebody with me every time I got up to walk, even if it was only to the bathroom. Nobody was making any promises about how much better I would get, but after a month of outpatient balance therapy I was back to normal. Every night I give thanks for having been able to ride my bike that day, and I mean it even if the ride was windy and wet. I know how frustrated you must feel and I hope that things eventually click in your brain and you can get your balance again.

[jr59]

Hang tough there guy.

I think I can speak for 99% of this forum and we all want the best for you.
Keep the faith that you will get better. Never give up trying!

[Steve in SLO]

You're doing it right, Butch.
You have been finding important negatives lately, but keep at it and you will find some new and fulfilling pursuits to fill the void.
Reminds me of the song "If you can't be with the one you love.."
Stills:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH3ruuml-R4
CSNY at Wembley:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbAXnGx-jsk&feature=related

[Wilkinson4]

I feel so bad that you are going through this... I think we all look forward to you posts, especially the one where you tell us you are back on the bike.

Eventually it will be better.

mIKE

[tuxbailey]

take care.

[Fixed]

I feel so bad that you are going through this... I think we all look forward to you posts, especially the one where you tell us you are back on the bike.

Eventually it will be better.

mIKE
That is the thing . ,I am kind of a downer around here like the guy at the bike shop all busted up hanging out ..bad for bussiness ..IMHO evey time I post it is from what I used to do .just a fading memory . I hope I can come back as an active rider someday .
I will stop by from time to time to say hi ,I consider the forum members my friends
Cheers :)

[christian]

Butch, have you considered a tadpole trike, like a Greenspeed?

http://www.greenspeed.com.au/x5.html

Maybe not this week, or this month, or this year, even. But some time! As I've said before, I have a close family member who suffered a TBI about 5 years ago. If there's anything I can do to help, feel free to PM.

[rugbysecondrow]

Sorry to hear. Did you ever look into the paddle board or kayak? maybe something like that would be good for you.

Regardless, keep up the good spirits. I appreciate you.

[learningtoride]

.

[William]

Hang in there Butch. Fight the fight and remember, we're all here for you man. Good thoughts, mojo, and prayers your way.

In the meantime, I thought you might like this....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmhKq7lNUPs&feature=related






William

[firerescuefin]

+1

Without your input the forum would be missing one of its major goals-
the community-
you are still a cyclist even if for now you cant ride-
dont take "US" away from yourself-
then for sure youll feel even farther from the saddle!
We are here whenever you want to "rant" or cry or scream or laugh-
because we are part of an extention of family-
and we will not want you only if youre in best form-
youre a huge additive to this forum fixed- and I hope that you will let us continue to travel with you during these frustrations!
xoxox

Cycling is so much a part of me and is my hiding spot when I need a place to breathe, think, not think, smile, dream, etc...so I understand being bummed to not have it as an option right now. I went for 2.5 years at me point unable to ride, so I get it. I echo the sentiments above. Get well Fixed:)

[jimcav]

And I've seen guys improve years out from injury. I of course have no true, clear understanding of your journey. I was sidelined from real riding for almost 8 months, but was able to do super low resistance spin bike stuff after surgery. Not even close, but there are the sweaty girls to offset the torture (or perhaps that is a different torture)

PT is hard, frustrating--hard to make it a game in my head where i want to keep playing. I've had to do the balance-on-one-foot thing for an ankle blow out and my hip--I still stink at it, but I have gone from almost unable (like 2 seconds) to >30, so now it is doing it with eyes closed

Anyway, I am very hopeful for you. I still can't run, but cling to the hope I will again--it is very spiritual for me to run. I try to enjoy walks. I hope you can find ways to do enjoy what you can do, until you can do what you want!

jim

[jr59]

Butch, have you considered a tadpole trike, like a Greenspeed?

http://www.greenspeed.com.au/x5.html

Maybe not this week, or this month, or this year, even. But some time! As I've said before, I have a close family member who suffered a TBI about 5 years ago. If there's anything I can do to help, feel free to PM.

Maybe something like this?

[biker72]

Fixed, I've never had a brain injury so I have no idea what you must be going through. My time off the bike due to illness/injury can be measured in weeks.

Never give up hope. You're a great asset to this forum and I do enjoy your posts.....:)

Maybe you could share some of your bike messenger stories.:cool:

[phcollard]

Hang in there Butch. One day you'll get back on your bike. I really enjoy your posts too so please keep on writing. I'll think of you during my next ride as well!

Cheers buddy :)

[spiderman]

That is the thing . ,I am kind of a downer around here like the guy at the bike shop all busted up hanging out ..bad for bussiness ..IMHO evey time I post it is from what I used to do .just a fading memory . I hope I can come back as an active rider someday .
I will stop by from time to time to say hi ,I consider the forum members my friends
Cheers :)

Fixed -- you are the opposite of a downer...
Honesty is a rare commodity these days.
don't leave your lifeline
Hang on my friend
Hang on!
You're going to make it...

[Elefantino]

Butch: It will get better. Believe in the power of healing, and the power of time. The former is easier to deal with than the latter; I know. You are in all our thoughts and for goodness sake keep posting. You bring everything to the table.

[SpokeValley]

Hang in there, Bro. I can't begin to understand but my prayers are with you.

Just an fyi, I just helped my long time biking buddy who was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, the 7 months to a year to live type, (with resulting balance and double vision issues) to buy a recumbent trike.

I went out with him for a test ride (I'd never been on a 'bent of any kind) and I have to admit it was kind of fun...in a go-kart kind of way. The shop owner (a too cool guy; sells nothing but 'bents, so he's heard a lot of stories from physically challenged folks of all stripes) let him keep it for a week to try and he wound up buying it.

The other day he told me that he felt like he had been liberated. He told me he's been riding almost every day, too. His wife (also a ride buddy) told me that since he got the bike, his entire attitude had changed from 'waiting to die' to 'pushing to live'.

We still share a beer after rides, too. :beer:

If that hasn't been suggested, might be worth a test ride.

[chuckroast]

Fixed, thinking about you man and I am confident you will be better. In the meantime, stick around and have virtual beers with all your pals here.

[Fixed]

Thank you my friends I will still stop by but not everyday all day like I have been
In the past , I have learned a lot from being here and I treasure the friends I have made here ..what can I say to all of you But thank you for your kindness and fellowship ,
Cheers

[echelon_john]

Hey Fixed,
Just so you know, I never once thought you were a downer; quite the opposite--I've always found you full of positive thoughts and words. I value your being here, and hope you'll stay around. We all need some help to get through our darker days, and there are plenty of folks here who are happy to lend an ear or a hand, me included.

Thanks for being here.
John

[merlincustom1]

Thinking about you, Fixed. Time will become your friend.

[bcm119]

I hope you'll stick around, Fixed. I enjoy your input here and across the hall.

[jghall]

Count me in with the others Butch. Thoughts and prayers. Easy for me to say, but stay strong, stay positive.

You have been such a valuable person to this little community. Made a lot of friends along the way too. Would be a shame to not have you around.

[Steve in SLO]

While I respect your decision to post less, I will miss your presence. Hug your wife and Penny more. It will help.
Cheers to your attitude and spirit.

[rounder]

Hang in there fixed . Keep posting. Your's are inspirational.

Getting old is a bitch. I nevre used to have accidents. Last year crashed while going down a big hill and watched the tire peel off the rim from a flat. Should have stopped immediately, but was sort of fascinated watching it happen. Two weeks ago, wrecked my hand while working in the basement (broken bone, hand's in a splint), but it is getting better. Anyway, keep the faith.

[67-59]

Fixed,

Whether you're able to ride or not, your posts here are valued. I can't imagine what you're going through, but every day I hope you make some progress toward getting back on the bike.

Hope you stick around. This place wouldn't be the same without you.

John

[fourflys]

Get well my friend...

[junkfood]

I always enjoy your posts Fixed. I wish you the best and hope to keep seeing you around here.

Jake

[spamjoshua]

I wonder, or don't recall...

Did you serve in the military? I ask, as the VA may know more about treating/helping post-concussive symptoms than anyone else right now, and it is my hope they can help you.

Best of luck,
Joshua