Facebook divorce

[majorpat]

So the Facebook threads made me realize why I avoided it for so long and why I now want a divorce from it.

So how do I eliminate my accout and retrieve my soul from the "internets"?

Pat (a human being, not a social media entity)

[slidey]

I'm really curious as to why you want to delete your facebook account, more curious as to this general feeling of dislike most people seem to exhibit towards facebook. I, personally, think facebook is brilliant...I check my facebook account for a max of 20mins a day, with 4 or 5 different logins, and it lets me keep in touch with my friends/family world over, on my own terms. You turn off the chatter on a set of people when they're blowing up your timeline and things go back to normalcy in a matter of minutes. I, for example, recently changed my timeline to show me only updates relevant to people I work with, etc just so I wouldn't be getting too much nonsense about chain drops and flat tyres every day, and it works brilliantly. Don't take this as a personal attack or anything...but I've always wanted to know why people in general have this ill-feeling towards facebook?

And to deactivate your account...click on the down arrow on the top right hand corner > Security> Deactivate your account.

[majorpat]

Slidey,
Maybe as an older (41) guy I don't have as many folks to keep up with or a scene to be a part of. Also, I don't feel the need to post about what I am doing, maybe that's just my personality. I created the account a year ago and checked up on some old friends, now I just don't check it out very often, and when I do I am overwhelmed by meaningless posts, people posting about games, jewels, coins and other goofy sh*t that makes the whole thing a hassle.
Full disclosure: I do not own a smartphone, rarely text and have never tweeted, but I do come to this forum often so I am not anti-technology.
Pat

[Ti Designs]

Full disclosure: I'm so far off to one side of the bell curve that this probably isn't worth reading. I am simply not a good representitive of the population we live in. I also don't have a smart phone. I also don't have a cell phone. The only phone I have has a rotary dial, so I don't do much texting. I don't tweet. Even if I could tweet, I wouldn't. Unlike much of the population, I make the assumption that nobody else gives a rat's a$$ about what I'm doing.

I left FaceBook a long time ago. It was when I noticed there's a way you can indicate you like something, but no way of saying "who cares?!?!" with a single click. Everybody sees their own life in a point of view perspective and then relates to the rest of the world based on that - what they're doing counts, who cares what else is going on? I see the same thing in lots of things. If a dozen people are killed half way around the world, but one of them is from this area, that's what they report. Everyone has this distorted view of the world, as if looking into the wrong end of a telescope.

There's a fine balance between having your head burried too deep in the sand and trying to keep track of everything. Given my state of ADD, I clearly ignore too much for the ability to really focus on what I do. In doing that, I'm damn sure I miss things that are of value to me. Not long ago someone pointed me in the direction of Dave Kirk's blog for a piece about bike fitting. I don't read many blogs, but I found myself reading page after page. Had I not been somewhat connected, I would never have found that. On the flip side, I'm always shocked when someone tells me that they liked something I wrote. I try to balance the requests that I write more with the nagging feeling that someone is going to throw rocks at me if I don't shut up and go away.

And then there's the need for people to be "in the know". Everybody needs to know what's going on first. Why do you think people post spoilers during the tour? They knew somethnig first - well, probably not. When Steve Jobs died 47 of my so called FaceBook friends told me about it. No longer on facebook, I have one question - is he still dead?

[alancw3]

i find facebook to be way too intrusive on my privacy and way too much meaningless fluff and all these people requesting to be my friend that i don't even know and don't want to know. some may like it. just not for me. to each his own. i too am going to delete my account. below are the directions i got when googling the subject as posted from facebook. just deactivating your account does not remove it:

http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=224562897555674

[merlincustom1]

Slight thread drift. I agree with Ti, especially about the "homeness" of a lot of reporting. The Olympics are an example. It's global competition, but we're force fed all USA stuff. I would have liked to have seen more equestrian but instead I heard ad nauseum about a judo competitor who was abused by a coach. Same with the 2009 Tour. Phil and Paul spent forever discussing the team standings (who cares?) just because it involved Wonderboy and the Americans. I'm done now. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

[khjr]

A few years ago, one of the twenty-somethings at work with suggested that "Facebook is a way to stay connected to people you don't want to talk to." My immediate response was, "why would one want to be on either side of that relationship?" Obviously it works for a lot of people, but I'm still not on it.

[rugbysecondrow]

Facebook is just a tool, use it how you like or not at all.

I have family and friends (real) located all over the world, so being able to share photos of kids, funny stories, connect and even play games, it seems to shrink the world in many respects.

If it is worthwhile to maintain the connections then Facebook is an easy way to facilitate and organize the connection, but it requires management.

Make it what you will, but dont make it what its not.

Cheers,

[nighthawk]

I deleted all the information off my account before "deactivating" it (which I did a few years ago with zero regrets and no lost touch with any friends or family). I deleted all photos and postings, otherwise FB retains the information and the "rights" to them.

[AngryScientist]

i dont have, and have never had an account, so i really dont even understand fully what facebook is or does. the idea of sharing personal information/pictures etc. really doesnt interest me, as i have other avenues for doing that, which are working fine.

one thing that does interest me about facebook, which again, i admittedly know nothing about, is all of the small businesses that are now on facebook. it seems like that might be a good way to keep track of what some of the smaller companies that i am interested in are up to, but i'm really not curious enough to sign up for an account.

[rugbysecondrow]

i dont have, and have never had an account, so i really dont even understand fully what facebook is or does. the idea of sharing personal information/pictures etc. really doesnt interest me, as i have other avenues for doing that, which are working fine.

one thing that does interest me about facebook, which again, i admittedly know nothing about, is all of the small businesses that are now on facebook. it seems like that might be a good way to keep track of what some of the smaller companies that i am interested in are up to, but i'm really not curious enough to sign up for an account.


Speaking for myself, Facebook consolidates communication, I can speak to as large or as small an audience as I wish and it is all done at the same place, in close proximity and in real or delayed time. it is quick to, easy to track and easy to toggle from one to the other. In addition, if my email inbox (both personal and work) is like yours, I have a crap ton of email management to do. The last thing I want to do when I am working through my work email (which seems to always be borderline full) is have to respond to photos of people kids, email jokes, letter etc. When I choose to get onto Facebook, that is all I am doing at that time, whether 1 min or 10 min, I am following up on personal correspondance. It is a time management tool. Hell, even sitting on the toilet, you can get caught up on Facebook...it is that easy. :)

Facebook is easy, too easy in fact, which is why people complain I think. If you don't manage it at all, then I think it is easy to have "friends" who aren't, to share info you don't want shared etc. In these discussion I have found it interesting when folks complain about their personal info being shared (like cell number) but it is all info you provide, nobody pilfers your files and forces this info to be public. As an aside, when did a phone number become a privacy issue? There used to be a whole book of them back in the day, they even warned you up front calling it the Phone Book. :)

Facebook is an easy target because of its size. Frankly, it was devised for a generation of younger people who wanted to touch base and remain or get connected. Then older people, parents, grandparents and then the rest of the free world climbed on board, but the fact that there might be generational differences in how it is used ought not be ignored.

The business aspect of Facebook is neat. There are so many niche campanies which I might not have ever heard of and I enjoy reading about them, sharing them with others who might have an interest. Frame builder facebook pages, local restaurants, even friends who have started their own small business, it is great to see how they can leverage Facebook and I like being able to choose to participate or not.

This is the key phrase with Facebook, it is all a choice. Period. You choose to add photos, information, updates, make connections, message people etc etc. It is all your choice. There is not one size fits all, you manage it based on your lifestyle

I am not plugging Facebook, I am a fan of it, but I understand part of the choice is choosing not to particpate, which is fine.

[Chance]

I deleted all the information off my account before "deactivating" it (which I did a few years ago with zero regrets and no lost touch with any friends or family). I deleted all photos and postings, otherwise FB retains the information and the "rights" to them.

Don’t have one and never have. And you touched on the reason why. Privacy. If any of my private/personal information can be controlled or manipulated by others it makes me uneasy. And not just at FB as a company, but recipients too. That’s also one of the reasons my personal pictures don’t appear on this forum. Once posted you can lose control too easily.

When it comes to companies that give me something for free while we all know they will use our information to make money like FB must, something must be going on behind the scenes that we probably wouldn't like if we knew. Just don’t trust companies that much. It’s not like they will share details of how they will monetize our information.

[oldpotatoe]

i dont have, and have never had an account, so i really dont even understand fully what facebook is or does. the idea of sharing personal information/pictures etc. really doesnt interest me, as i have other avenues for doing that, which are working fine.

one thing that does interest me about facebook, which again, i admittedly know nothing about, is all of the small businesses that are now on facebook. it seems like that might be a good way to keep track of what some of the smaller companies that i am interested in are up to, but i'm really not curious enough to sign up for an account.

Facebook and Twitter are a great tool for my biz. My employee is my social network person. I am not on it personally nor will I be.

My lying, thieving ex biz partner was addicted to it and along with stealing daily, sat at his desk on it for 4-5 hours per day...but he was/is a scumball virus.

[wallymann]

i'm guessing you've never completed a mortgage application? lots of very personal data there, the banks own it and freely distribute it to others. in that case, your data has already been monetized.

i'm personally not worried about "losing control" over pictures i post on the forum of my bikes or bike-parts -- it's not like they're State Secrets or the Keys to the Kingdom, so posting pics on the forum are a non-issue. but if a license-plate# does appear in any, i try to obfuscate that info.

that said, i agree wholeheartedly that FB, google, banks, and everyone else that can...even the US Gubment...are doing things with your data that you would not be happy about.

Don’t have one and never have. And you touched on the reason why. Privacy. If any of my private/personal information can be controlled or manipulated by others it makes me uneasy. And not just at FB as a company, but recipients too. That’s also one of the reasons my personal pictures don’t appear on this forum. Once posted you can lose control too easily.

When it comes to companies that give me something for free while we all know they will use our information to make money like FB must, something must be going on behind the scenes that we probably wouldn't like if we knew. Just don’t trust companies that much. It’s not like they will share details of how they will monetize our information.

[rugbysecondrow]

i'm guessing you've never completed a mortgage application? lots of very personal data there, the banks own it and freely distribute it to others. in that case, your data has already been monetized.

i'm personally not worried about "losing control" over pictures i post on the forum of my bikes or bike-parts -- it's not like they're State Secrets or the Keys to the Kingdom, so posting pics on the forum are a non-issue. but if a license-plate# does appear in any, i try to obfuscate that info.that said, i agree wholeheartedly that FB, google, banks, and everyone else that can...even the US Gubment...are doing things with your data that you would not be happy about.

I have seen people do this and I thought about doing it for a car I listed on CL this week for sale, but I didn't quite understand why. Untold numbers of people can see my plate everysingle day, why does it matter if it is in a photo? I ask this with the best intent as I really don't know.

Thanks

paul

[firerescuefin]

Facebook...like it. use it. couple folks on here are friends.

don't get the hate. not for everyone.

[AngryScientist]

I have seen people do this and I thought about doing it for a car I listed on CL this week for sale, but I didn't quite understand why. Untold numbers of people can see my plate everysingle day, why does it matter if it is in a photo? I ask this with the best intent as I really don't know.

Thanks

paul

i am very curious about this too. always wondered why people do that?

i do suppose, theoretically, if you pose some pictures of your beautiful bike, and i wanted to steal it, i could derive your home address from your plate number, come to your house, break into your garage and take your bike, but that's kind of a stretch...

[EDS]

Slidey,
Maybe as an older (41) guy I don't have as many folks to keep up with or a scene to be a part of. Also, I don't feel the need to post about what I am doing, maybe that's just my personality. I created the account a year ago and checked up on some old friends, now I just don't check it out very often, and when I do I am overwhelmed by meaningless posts, people posting about games, jewels, coins and other goofy sh*t that makes the whole thing a hassle.
Full disclosure: I do not own a smartphone, rarely text and have never tweeted, but I do come to this forum often so I am not anti-technology.
Pat

Isn't your denunciation of facebook here, on a bike forum, the kind of meaningless post that has in fact soured your relationship with facebook?

I wholeheartedly agree in not giving a toot about what people are having for dinner, etc. At the same time, do a bunch of bike fanatics care if a middle age dude (hey, I am only a few years younger so lump me in with that demographic), who admitedly is not big on social media, wants a divorce from facebook? Not an attack, just a question.

The way I view facebook is like a virtual party. If you go to a real party, chances are there are close friends there who you would converse with in person or on the phone regularly, but there are others who you see around town or at functions who you are friendly with and enjoy talking to, but may not see regularly otherwise. I enjoy spending 15 minutes with someone like that, catching up, sharing stories, etc. On facebook I can do that virtually - which is nice because I think our generation, more than previous ones, tend to move around alot (people move away from their hometown, take jobs where available, etc.) so you don't necessarily get to see them anymore at the Johnson's annual holiday party. Obviously catching up virtually is not as good as a face-to-face, but it is still great to see that Bill got the promotion he was looking for, or the new bike, or the baby daughter he and his wife so desperately hoped for. Sure, to get to those nice stories you have to dig through the weeds (if Tom posts one more picture of his motorcycle I will defriend him!), but that takes 10 seconds.

[tuxbailey]

It just a handy tool to get news feed that I might have otherwise not get. I don't post much but pictures of my daughter so my family (grandparents, uncles, cousins) in the west coast can access them easily. They also do the same so we can keep a heartbeat of what is going with their lives in general.

As rugby said, it is what you make it to be, you can have an account with minimum info about yourself.

[Chance]

i'm guessing you've never completed a mortgage application? lots of very personal data there, the banks own it and freely distribute it to others. in that case, your data has already been monetized.


Of course, and it doesn’t make me very happy either. Hate that Bank of America shares my personal information with seemingly everyone and there is really no way to stop them. Have tried. Unfortunately it’s a necessary evil that is essentially unavoidable to live in today’s world. Others don’t see it as an issue and that’s find for them. In my case it feels bad enough to have to do it when there are no other (viable) choices like when getting a mortgage, but volunteering information when it’s not necessary is low on my priority list.

Have been thinking for years that too much personal information shared with doctors’ offices was even riskier because it’s even more fragmented and too unprotected. Now we see that some identity thieves are getting jobs in medical field with main intent to write down key information to steal IDs. Like we didn’t see it coming. No hi-tech hacking needed, just a pencil and paper.

[slidey]

hahaha...i hear you on this. If you ever decide to activate fb, you've to spend a few days trying to make it as you want it...that's exactly what I like about fb. It's got a ton of junk on it, by virtue of all those games, etc but you can turn off every game so it never shows or sends requests to you, turn off specific people, turn off specific kinds of posts, etc...so, yes it does require a few days to gauge what you like and what you don't and to make the requisite changes to get a more sane mix of posts on your fb. Also, yes...I'm much younger than you are...but I primarily use fb to stay connected to my friends/family, and my research colleagues world over who I get to meet just at a couple of conferences, etc. It's informal, and it helps be that ice-breaker when you meet someone after a long hiatus.

Slidey,
Maybe as an older (41) guy I don't have as many folks to keep up with or a scene to be a part of. Also, I don't feel the need to post about what I am doing, maybe that's just my personality. I created the account a year ago and checked up on some old friends, now I just don't check it out very often, and when I do I am overwhelmed by meaningless posts, people posting about games, jewels, coins and other goofy sh*t that makes the whole thing a hassle.
Full disclosure: I do not own a smartphone, rarely text and have never tweeted, but I do come to this forum often so I am not anti-technology.
Pat

[Chance]

i'm personally not worried about "losing control" over pictures i post on the forum of my bikes or bike-parts -- it's not like they're State Secrets or the Keys to the Kingdom, so posting pics on the forum are a non-issue. but if a license-plate# does appear in any, i try to obfuscate that info.



Agree that it’s not state secret stuff. However, if someone wanted to cause you harm, the more information you post the more vulnerable you become. People post pictures of themselves, their wife, kids, house, and so on all the time. Makes it pretty easy for anyone to find them. And when they then state they are going to be out of town on vacation to go cycling for a week, it’s almost like an invitation for some unscrupulous guy to drop in for an unwelcomed visit. Granted it doesn’t happen often but it pays to be a little paranoid.

[slidey]

Yeah, i'm on the same side wondering what the privacy fuss is all about. I just go by the policy that whatever is private info to me, will always remain private...which, means it won't be "shared" with any social media and then made "private". Treat private info as you would your bank account details, simple.

i am very curious about this too. always wondered why people do that?

i do suppose, theoretically, if you pose some pictures of your beautiful bike, and i wanted to steal it, i could derive your home address from your plate number, come to your house, break into your garage and take your bike, but that's kind of a stretch...


I can't recall when this privacy thing became such an issue...but I guess it had to do with e-mail ID's being sold, etc. But, that doesn't really bother me as firms have been doing this for ages, necessitating the need for spam filters...The only semi-logical explanation I can come up with is that fb has acquired as many corporate detractors due to their success in the social media world, and now these detractors have successfully blown leaking this e-mail(/age/sex/name) kind of a deal to a wider perimeter bordering with identity theft. Makes no sense to me, but if someone can explain it to me better, I'd like that.

[Aaron O]

I'm a 38 year old guy much like the OP - I have a few good friends that I keep in touch with, I have my wife and family and that's what I need and want. I don't really need a social network of people I don't care about from high school, I rarely post or update and I rarely check other postings.

I still find Facebook useful for a few reasons - it reminds me about birthdays, it makes event planning and contacting people you aren't close with easy and having it ends other people asking why I'm not on it. Is facebook vital to my daily life? No...but it doesn't negatively impact it either...it's a tool with some use.

[CaliFly]

Facebook is just as much a community as this cycling board. Some things work differently, but the intent is the same...for the users, anyway. It's just another tool. Use it or don't. But if you use it, understand how it works.

And privacy is a fallacy unless you live by yourself in the woods and only pay cash.

[rice rocket]

I deleted my account because I didn't agree with their business practices. I use Google+ instead now. Smaller, less commercial feel to it, and less "I SCORED 2,323,234,234 POINTS ON BEJEWELED!!!!!". Google has been able to strike the balance of being commercial vs. usability.

Anyways, deleting your account requires you to not login for 2 weeks for a full deletion. The option is hidden somewhere in the FAQs, because they obviously don't want you deleting yourself.

Edit, here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=delete_account

[tannhauser]

i dont have, and have never had an account, so i really dont even understand fully what facebook is or does. the idea of sharing personal information/pictures etc. really doesnt interest me, as i have other avenues for doing that, which are working fine.
\

You may have other avenues, but FB casts the widest net over grammas and parents.

Personally I don't understand why people felt compelled to put work history, birth date, etc. into it. That's not FB coercing you for your data, that's you willfully giving it to it.

Just make some false numbers up; once you input the correct ones you are beholden to them.

[GRAVELBIKE]

Recommended reading:
http://theweek.com/article/index/203025/facebooks-outrageous-privacy-policy-by-the-numbers

Even if you delete your facebook account, you should still consider installing anti-tracking plugins such as Ghostery or Do Not Track Plus.

[Ray]

I'm a 38 year old guy much like the OP - I have a few good friends that I keep in touch with, I have my wife and family and that's what I need and want. I don't really need a social network of people I don't care about from high school, I rarely post or update and I rarely check other postings.

I still find Facebook useful for a few reasons - it reminds me about birthdays, it makes event planning and contacting people you aren't close with easy and having it ends other people asking why I'm not on it. Is facebook vital to my daily life? No...but it doesn't negatively impact it either...it's a tool with some use.

This sounds a lot like me, except I've got about 15 years on you. I don't spend time on Facebook. I have an account and I check it maybe once a week, sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less. I actually post something to it maybe once every month or two - usually photos after getting back from a trip or family get-together or something. I do not let people know when I eat or brush my teeth or fart or share political stuff or advice that I happen to agree with. I have friends and family and I regulate what I see. I have some friends who share waaaaaaaay more information than I want and I generally allow "only important" information from them to get through. I have a brother who posts TONS of political articles and links and I've put him on the same status. And that reduces what I see from these people to a trickle. And if I still find it totally useless, I just un-subscribe from those people and just click on their links when or if I want to see what they've been up to. My close family members have no filters on their stuff and that's how I keep up with a lot of what's going on in their lives that I might not otherwise hear about.

So I manage it and don't let it become a pain in my ass. But I find it pretty useful on occasion. I actually got re-connected with some pretty close college friends I'd totally lost touch with over the years and it was nice to catch up with some of them, share some old photos from when we were in school together and see what their lives looked like today. I don't communicate with these people regularly and have most of them largely turned off on Facebook, but its nice to maintain some minimal form of contact.

As for privacy, if you use the convenient parts of the internet, to do online banking, to buy stuff, to do damn near anything, your information is OUT there. That particular water is well past the bridge and it's not coming back. Unless you're a total online recluse who hasn't heard about the internet yet, that battle is over. Now its just down to managing the details as well as we can.

I don't let facebook dominate my life - its just one more useful way to stay in touch to whatever level I feel like. For some its a whole lot more - that's fine as long as I don't have to see all of the crap that comes along, and I don't.

-Ray

[Jaq]

Facebook is just a tool, use it how you like or not at all.

I have family and friends (real) located all over the world, so being able to share photos of kids, funny stories, connect and even play games, it seems to shrink the world in many respects.

If it is worthwhile to maintain the connections then Facebook is an easy way to facilitate and organize the connection, but it requires management.

Make it what you will, but dont make it what its not.

Cheers,

+1. I get on FB about once a week. It's a thing to glance at occasionally and see what's happening with a few folks.

I will say this, I just had a high school reunion last year, and FB definitely helped get the word out and so on. There were quite a few people that showed up who wouldn't have otherwise. And that was very nice.

[thashicray]

FB was a great tool for me a couple years ago as our 20 year high school reunion used FB to distribute communication. As the group distribution grew so did my list of friends. I remember vividly now how funny it was reuniting with an old classmate and the conversation started off as, "I saw in facebook you now work for...." or "I saw on facebook, you have twins." For good or bad it really killed the reunion experience. Instead of mingling with others for an extended amount of time, in the back of my head I found myself trying to extend conversation without referring to a post or picture I saw. However, it also helped me “dodge” certain people because they had already exposed so much of their life on FB I ignored them all together…yeah I know, my loss.

[malcolm]

Never had an account and probably never will. I don't think the problem is inherently with facebook. I see the attraction with sharing photos info with friends and family. I also see folks consumed with facebook and post every time they pass gass, however this isn't a facebook problem it's just indicative of some of the extremes of the information/electronic age. If you allow it to be so you can almost live in a virtual world and have no need for face to face interactions. We were at a restaurant the other night and four high school/20 something girls were at a table all head down texting away in the entire time we were there I don't think I saw them interact. Facebook is just the medium, peoples use of it is the problem

[Peter B]

<snip>

If you allow it to be so you can almost live in a virtual world and have no need for face to face interactions. We were at a restaurant the other night and four high school/20 something girls were at a table all head down texting away in the entire time we were there I don't think I saw them interact.

They were having a perfectly normal digital dinner conversation together. :)