Atypical post by me...

[benitosan1972]

Serious question here... I know alot of people here don't like me because of my odd humor, but I simply don't communicate with alot of people during my life... I turn to the Forum cuz it's easier to ask advice from perfect strangers, and many here are more experienced in life & situations than me, so...

How do/did you deal with the poor/failing health of your parents? My father recently had a stroke, I don't think he'll recover physically from this, it's been a year and he's still bed-bound. My mom is fragile, shrinking and losing her eyesight and shaking alot. I rarely visit them even though I should as a good son, because it depresses me so much to see them on the decline...

How did you deal with your parent's aging/health? I'm not married, I rarely see friends, I mostly keep to myself and ride and think and feel sad... thanks for any responses, and sorry if this subject is too serious and depressing, but my ride today didn't help me to feel better :(

-Bennett

[akelman]

For what it's worth, Bennett, I quite like you. And I can absolutely relate to what you're going through. My dad's health has been failing for years now, and the impact on my mom has been terrible to watch. I'm usually very lucky in that my sister lives near my folks, while I live on the other side of the country, so she deals with more of the day-to-day fallout from their decline than I do. Recently, though, my dad took a serious turn for the worse, so I've tried to get back east to help out more than usual.

Anyway, I don't know what to tell you other than as depressing as watching my parents decline has been -- and it's been really depressing -- I think it's going to be that much harder to see them go. For that reason, I've tried to spend as much time with them as I could, even as that time has become increasingly stressful.

Which brings me to another point: riding my bike helps. A lot. So much so that I make sure I have a bike with me whenever I go to my folks' place. It sounds like the same is true of you, that exercise is an important part of stress management for you. Given that, the only really concrete advice I have for you is to ride your bike as much as you can.

Beyond all of that, please know that there are lots of people going through the same thing you are, and some of those people are here at the forum and will be happy to chat with you about how crappy life can sometimes become. In the meantime, take care of yourself. And if you can find the energy, take care of your family.

[BumbleBeeDave]

You need to reach out for help in your local area, both for your parents and for yourself. The most loving thing you can do for them is to be there, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Are you in a large metro area where there might be local agencies that could render aid? Is there a county or city council on aging? I guarantee you if you are in any kind of metro area there are agencies who will have exactly the info and support that both you and your parents need.

Doing some work on Google and working the phones for someone truly local is going to get you someone to talk with in person.

BBD

[martinrjensen]

I don't really know you but you sound a lot like me so I kind of sympathize with your quandry. No answers here other than to say I am surprised that riding doesn't help your mood because it sure does mine. There are times when I have to take 2, 3 or even 4 or more hours to talk myself into a bike ride because I'm so depressed, but once I am on the bike I always feel better, every time. Just know that you are not alone in your feelings.
I had a similar situation with my mom (never really had a dad) and I wish I talked to her more when I could. hindsight is always 20/20.

[geoffkaplan]

have you considered seeing psychologist? helped me deal with the death of my dad. dr provided thoughtful / constructive guidance. i find cycling meditative - and sometimes i'm forced to face painful mental moments on my bike.

[Louis]

I rarely visit them even though I should as a good son, because it depresses me

I hope this doesn't come off as too harsh, but here goes -

Dude, you got to do what you got to do. Just because something is tough doesn't mean you don't do it, or don't try. They were there for you when you needed help, and you need to be there for them.

Plus, it doesn't have to be depressing. You might not have a cure that will give them the gift of eternal life, but you can help with the little things. And hopefully just being there can help. As difficult as it might be, if you're helping them that should make you feel better about the whole thing, not depressed.

Sickness and aging are tough, but it's all part of life. (Of course, that's easy for me to say from where I sit) I hope you can provide your parents some comfort.

Louis

[jr59]

Well, I'm sure going thru it right now. Both mine have terminal cancer.


How do you deal with it? I wish I could tell you. One day at a time. Each day that I can talk to them is a blessing. Everyday I can tell them I love them is a good day.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with this. None are easy.

What I can tell you is to tell them you love them every day. If you don't, you will wish you had. Spend as much time as you can with them. You will look back when they aren't of this world any more and wish you would have.

I don't know you, nor do I dislike you. Even if I did, I would still give this advice!

I'm not a very religious person and I say this not to force it upon you;

God Bless and I wish you peace in the days to come.
JR

[2LeftCleats]

Try to move the focus from yourself to your failing parents. Sometimes that's difficult if you've not had a close relationship. Many older folks in that situation feel lonely and abandoned and any time you spend will be appreciated. Shifting the visit from the illness to recollections of life events can be more pleasant as well as a learning experience. Sitting with my father before he died gave me insight into his life. It can be enlightening to find parallels in your own. My mother is going through a long process of decline and she's filled with bitterness. Never was pleasant to see her; less so now. But sitting with her teaches me patience and gives me insight into the circumstances of the elderly in my practice.

[veggieburger]

Hermano,

YES - tell them you love them. Spend time with them. Anything you might feel, tell them....in a sense you are fortunate because you have a window to express anything you might be feeling. Consider that a blessing. Even sitting around, holding their hands and being sad is a beautiful thing.

And pray. Miracles do happen. Seen a few myself.

And if you ever find yourself in Ontario and want to go for a bike ride, lemme know.

All the best, VB

[Z3c]

I applaud your candor. The only folks who won't understand are those who have not had any true adversity in their lives-yet. It happens to everyone at some point. Caring for a terminal loved one is very tough; I have done it a few times to include my first wife. You just have to take it one day at a time; truly, as simplistic as that sounds, get through each day. Maybe you could try visiting your parents in small doses. Are they local to you? Siblings in the picture? Try different methods and search for something that works for you; you count too and I think that is a key thing to recognize. Give yourself a stress outlet when you are there; even taking a walk can be an amazing outlet. Hang in there; at times it can be tough taking care of someone but think of what you would want someone to do for you. You can't do anything about their situation but you can help them enjoy the time they have. You will cherish the memories. Honesty/being frank is the key; the situation is not going to change so don't worry about guilt or trying to fix it; just do what you can to add quality.

No rain, no rainbows.. my favorite Hawaiian saying.

[echelon_john]

Suggestion: talk to a home health aide or hospice nurse. Not to get them to help onside with your parents, but rather so you can get a comfort level with the state your parents are in. My parents both passed away from cancer, and the attitude/cheer/care the hospice nurses brought with them when they came through the door were inspiring. They weren't trying to cure my parents; just be a positive, supportive, sometimes distracting presence during their visits. Which, IMO, is what you should be striving for.

You can't always right past wrongs, resolve issues, or have 'aha' moments of mutual understanding with seriously ill/aging parents, but you can take satisfaction out of being there for them, and when they're gone, whatever work/discomfort there was will pale in comparison to the feeling of knowing you did your best to be there for them. And if you can come into it open and with a positive attitude, you may wind up enjoying it more at the time than you think.

Best of luck; it sure ain't easy. Getting old isn't for softies. : )

JC

[dustyrider]

I have to admit when I first registered here, your "humor" as you call it didn't jive with me at all. But as time went on I noticed there is a type of balance to your posts. I generally don't get you, but I think I'm understanding you a little more. The internet creates a filter, and it's hard to make complete sense of words on a screen. I forget this sometimes and it's easy to be dismissive, especially when you've got no skin in the game.

I haven't dealt with the exact issues you're dealing with right now, but I've experienced the loss of loved ones in much the same way throughout my life. I've been to more funerals than I care to remember and most of them occurred in my teen years. I'm the youngest, of the youngest in my family, so by the time I was 20 my grandparents were long gone.
I spent most of my teenage years visiting my grandparents in various stages of decline. Alzheimers, Lou Gehrig's, Cancer, and a Stroke that kept my grandmother locked in a world, I'd consider a living hell, for 10+ years.
There were 5 individuals that I grew up with, and were close to in my own way, who each had their lives taken either by their own hands, or by someone else before I graduated High School.
Recently a few other people left my life, and one of them I was fortunate enough to talk to just before they left. I got to see some semblance of who they were before they quickly declined. I basically saw them slip away right before my eyes in the matter of days. It caught me off guard, cause if there is anything that I was certain of, was that I had it all figured out. I was doing what made me happy and this life was mine for the taking. But, as the saying goes, life has a funny way of teaching you; that you don't have as much control as you think. If you don't take the time to meet life somewhere in the middle you're going to miss a lot, and you won't even know you've missed it till it's lost.

What I've taken from my experiences, and really only been able to put into practice this year, is what I'd like to share with you; there will never be a better time than there is right now. That may sound like a load of BS given your circumstances, but honestly, as you read these words start living in the moment.
Make time to spend with your parents now, no matter how painful it is, once they are gone it's too late. And this is just human's selfish nature talking, if you want to think beyond yourself, it's easy to see that you should be there with them.
My grandmother could only utter the same five words for 10 years, but when she held your hand and looked into your eyes there was a range of emotions there, there was a sense of being. One of the hardest things I have ever done was to endure those visits. In the end, after there could be no more visits, I know those times meant as much to her, as they still do to me, I just wish I had the sense to understand all of this then.

Biking is a great way to escape, but sometimes what we really need to do is accept.

"And in the end, the love that you take, is equal to the love you make"
Beatles

[Viper]

Intro speech about letting go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwMdO3HK_ws

"The shadow behind your eyes" is the looming death, seen in his father's eyes...and the ending, "Talk to eachother":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uXitB-FfOQ

Straight forward:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BK_RGNs8s6w&feature=fvsr

:takeofftheoakleysandlookatyourfolkscauseurmomandd adlovetheirkidsandweallneedhelpsometimes:

[slidey]

You got one life, no more, no less...do the right thing. You already know what's right...that's the easy part, now it's time to do it.

No time like the present and the best advice is the advice you give someone else. Dang, having said that I know i'm going to be burning the midnight oil :eek:

[eddief]

1. all the physical stuff your parents are going through
2. all the emotional stuff your parents are going through
3. the spector of leaving the planet
4. all of your emotions
5. all of your lack of experience being in this situation ever before

It does not get any bigger than this for us mortal human beings. The fact that you are open to putting this out on web would suggest you are courageous and have real concerns for how to handle a huge situation.

You can gut it out based on comments we make...or seek the help of a trained professional social worker, psychologist, or a religious person if that makes sense for you and your belief system.

I can almost guarantee if you can find a professional you can share this stuff with, you will be really glad on the other side. Otherwise you will feeling your way in the dark and why do that? These are potentially some of the most poignant moments in your life and in the life of your parents, most of us are not trained/equipped to deal with it in a good way.

[firerescuefin]

First off...you've been a good addition to the forum...and I like the majority of your posts.

My mom died last year...dad's health sucks...and I ride my bike more for the mental release/clear thoughts than the physical, and I love the physical aspect of riding. If I wasn't married w/ kids, I would be a cycling hermit (kind of like cat lady, but w/ bikes).

Anyhow, all that to say, I can certainly relate to where you're at. I don't have any magic advice other than choose the path of least regret. You can't get days back...ever.

take care,

Geoff

[benitosan1972]

Thanks to all for the kind, supportive, and realistic words.
I guess I wasn't really looking for an answer, I know that age
and death are a part of life, and I've dealt with death before, but
I was never close to my parents, and it feels odd to be close to them
now so late in their lives, but they brought me here, raised me, fed me,
sheltered me, loved me, and... heck, one or both of them gave me the gene
to be a good hillclimber and long-distance cyclist, lol... I'll just visit them as I can, and show them that I love and value them for all that they've done for me.

Thanks for listening, and understanding... now should I talk about Rapha, SRAM, or carbon to lighten things up? :banana:

You guys (and gals) are really great people here, and I'll try to post more words about that (and less about dentists & money) in the future, cheers!

[monkeybanana86]

That's heavy. I recently flew to Arizona to see my dad whom I hadn't seen in over fourteen years (I didn't get to speak to him as he was under heavy meds). So I can for sure relate to that feeling of dread. Whatever you choose to do I wish you the best man.

[bart998]

My mom and stepdad lived 400 miles away. When he died, I realized my mom was developing dementia. I moved her close to me so I could keep an eye on her. My mom died 4 years later, but I am so glad for the time I could spend with her. Even though her condition got progressively worse, I spent as much time with her as I could, cooking for her when she was no longer able and taking her to appointments. We eventually put her in a care facility were she passed away. The toll on me, at times, was high both financially and emotionally. I didn't realize the impression I made on my daughters who were evidently watching my every move and wrote me lovely letters afterward.

So, yes. Spend as much time with your parents as you can, while you can. You, and your whole family will benefit.

[slidey]

Sure, as long as it's monocoque...ah yeah...I started it all over again

See what I did there? ;)
carbon to lighten things up? :banana:

[cmg]

so many of us spend much of the time avoiding pain but you are suppose to feel saddness, anger and to a degree depression. the emotions, it's what keeps us human. Don't avoid it. The 5 minute conversation maybe the uplifting part of their day. my mom is currently in hospice and my sister is the caregiver so any relief i can give her is a blessing. make the effort, you'll feel good about yourself. allow yourself to feel the pain. it will help.

[cat6]

On August 20, 1979, Terrell made his pitching debut for the Royals in the ninth inning against the New York Yankees at Royals Stadium, and retired the Yankees on three pitches; the Yankees were ahead 16–4 at the time and Terrell hurled on an emergency basis

[slowgoing]

If you start spending more time with them, your shock will wear off and you will appreciate them better for how they are now instead of concentrating on how different they are from last time.

[MattTuck]

Everything said is accurate, we each have our own road to walk down, and we each have our own way of walking down it.

I won't say what I would or would not do, because that wouldn't be helpful to you.

But I will give you a bit of my feeling about riding a bike, and that is to pedal with purpose. Whether that purpose is fitness, commuting, stress relief, relaxation, perspective.... it doesn't matter. As long as you pedal with purpose, your cycling will be a positive impact on your life.

When someone starts riding to escape something, riding becomes no better than turning to alcohol or drugs, or any other behavior that lets that person forget about stuff. It doesn't solve anything, it doesn't make you stronger, it doesn't help you face the truth any better, the same feelings of guilt, shame and hopelessness come back once you stop pedaling.

I think we've all ridden to escape something, and in the short term it works OK. But it does not solve anything. You're a hell of a cyclist, I see the achievements on strava. I think that if you attacked your problems with the same energy and tenacity that you attack a climb with, you'd be in a better place.

[rugbysecondrow]

For what it's worth, Bennett, I quite like you. .

Agreed.

I will add that for me, my heart will often follow my effort. If there is something I don't want to do or is hard to do, the more I put into doing that the more I care and want to do that.

I have heard plenty of people regret not spending time with people who were dieing, I have never heard the opposite said.

[54ny77]

Dealing with ill parents is tough, I am going through it now on two opposite coasts. Both have cancer, both are battling it through treatments that are best described as hell on earth.

But no matter how hard the logistics or emotional side is for me, they have it worse. You need to be strong for them. It's that simple.

Anyway, that's my $0.02...

Good luck to you & your family.

p.s. I've found cycling during it all to be a respite and good stress reliever.

[sc53]

Bennett, it seems so many of my friends and colleagues are going through similar scenarios at this time, and the plight of these elderly relatives, theirs and my own, is in my thoughts a lot at this time as well. My own parents have died, but I still have one very elderly uncle, a lifelong bachelor, who just turned 93 and is mentally strong but physically unable to even lift his legs without assistance. He spends his day in his recliner, mostly blind, just sitting, perhaps dozing. The thought of this just causes me such sorrow and anxiety and I put off, put off, put off visiting him for months, but finally packed my car and my dogs and made the 12-hour drive to Kentucky in May to visit him for his 93rd birthday. I laughed with him, talked with him, talked to my brother while in the same room with him, ate meals and even napped in an adjoining recliner with him. I also left the house for a few hours each day to traipse the bluffs over the river, the fields at the farm, and the Civil War battlefield in town with my dogs, places I have known and walked since childhood, and returned to tell him what I'd seen, what the dogs had done, what pond they found to swim in, and how I'd looked for arrowheads and minie balls like he used to do when he was mobile and able-bodied and walking the same fields and bluffs. All the anxiety I felt before my visit melted away, and I enjoyed my time with him, not even thinking how it could be the last time I'll see him until I was in the car a few days later, driving away. He looked forward to my visit, and I know he remembers it fondly now, as I do. I didn't do much for him, because he has two full-time caregivers, but I am so glad I went. If he survives another year, I'll return for his 94th birthday.
As others have said, you will do what is right for you. The fear and depression caused by the decline of our elderly loved ones are real, but not a reason to avoid them. Do as much as you can, when you can. They will treasure whatever time you can spend with them, even if it's just a phone call once a week.
Best wishes to you and your parents.

[akelman]

I have heard plenty of people regret not spending time with people who were dieing, I have never heard the opposite said.

I have no regrets about ignoring Kim Jong-il while he was on his deathbed.

[sc53]

Now that made me laugh! More than the quips about monocoques.

[beeatnik]

A great quality of this forum is that a guy whose internet persona projects less than ideal interpersonal traits can gain genuine quality advice from strangers who could easily dismiss a human side which is at times obfuscated.

Ah, the nature of the internet.

I also have an ill, elderly parent and the words above bring unexpected comfort.

[William]

People with more experience than me have weighed in with wonderful heart felt advice. All that I can add is that I've never felt any negative vibes in your posts that I've read and I would ride with you anytime.:)



Wishing you the best,
William

[slidey]

We're all in the same boat...it's just a matter of time when we all go through the same phases.

Mind over matter and a willingness to act upon it, that's all.

A great quality of this forum is that a guy whose internet persona projects less than ideal interpersonal traits can gain genuine quality advice from strangers who could easily dismiss a human side which is at times obfuscated.

Ah, the nature of the internet.

I also have an ill, elderly parent and the words above bring unexpected comfort.

[Fixed]

What you feel now is not as bad as when they are gone
We hate to see are parents who held us in their arms , loved and protected us sick weak and in pain . the helplessness is painful to us .as I close in on the latter years I truly hope my son does not have to go through that experience .

The only thing you can do is love them it probably makes their day to see you
You are still that eight year old in their eyes
As they say keep a stiff upper lip at least around them it might upset them to see you upset ..
I think you have more friends than you realize
Cheers

[67-59]

Late to the thread and haven't read all the posts, so I apologize if I mischaracterize the general tone, but here goes:

Lots of people seem to be recommending putting your parents first, and making the time to see them now as your first priority. I disagree. If you are depressed and reclusive, I'd suggest seeking professional help (psychiatrist and/or psychologist) to focus first on YOURSELF. Helping yourself to feel better will then help clarify your feelings toward your parents, and allow you to make more rational, and hopefully helpful, choices.

I say this from very painful personal experience. I had never had (diagnosed) mental health issues until the past year, when I suddenly began having panic attacks, lost my temper a lot more than usual, experienced a myriad of physical symptoms that turned out to be nothing, and eventually started feeling depressed. After eliminating likely physical causes of my condition, my docs suggested seeing a mental health professional. At first, I balked - "I'm not crazy." But when the depression got so bad I couldn't effectively function, I gave in.

Long story short, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression, and a combination of meds and cognitive-behavioral therapy has made a world of difference. I still have a ways to go, but my current outlook is far better than it was a few months ago.

Now the reason for my recommendation to put yourself first: When I first started seeing my therapist, most of my concerns were feelings of guilt...that I was letting my wife and kids down. Her clear advice: Focus on getting yourself better first, or you will never be able to get back to being the husband and father that you once were, and want to be again. So I followed her advice and went through my recommended treatment -- which often meant ignoring those around me to meditate, record my feelings, and expose myself to stress-inducing situations. It has been a long road (several months), but my wife and kids all see and appreciate the progress. And I am totally convinced that if I had continued to focus on them without first fixing me, I'd still be back in the dumpster I was in several months ago.

Just my $0.02, and the opinion (in my case) of a psychiatrist and psychologist at an internationally-renouned medical center...who I feel saved my life.

[Climb01742]

both of my parents died suddenly in separate accidents. i was not able to say good bye to either one. and i spent their last years putting off saying a great deal of stuff because it would have been uncomfortable for all of us and because i thought there would always be time.

i was far from a perfect son. hell, they were far from perfect parents. but we all got close to a decent place toward the ends of their lives. we didn't, however, get there, not really there. i wish i'd gotten off my @ss and said many things. i think it was more my, the child's, responsibility to walk that extra mile.

now, there isn't a day i don't wish i could talk to my folks, be with them, help them. i was too selfish, too consumed in my own life and crap, too afraid of the awkwardness i was sure would result from us talking.

i missed my chance. dude, don't miss yours.

[Viper]

Some amazing, sincere stories here and within the few sentences or parapraphs shared, there is a lot said.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtVAJEAWnlU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_arrcEArLY

:thumbsup:

[Wayne77]

FWIW, I always thought your commentary was fun/unique/helpful/etc. I like odd humor! Maybe I missed something (there have been periods where I haven't participated here as much), but I'm surprised to hear about any perceptions of dislike. Anyway, I automatically assume everyone here knows a lot more about cycling, and is funnier and more clever than I am, so what do I know...Whether that sentiment comes across in my posting activity is another story :)

I'm going to go on on a tangent here, before addressing the main content of your post: Our online "personas" are never a complete representation of our real-life personas. We join these communities, find some online "way of being" we are comfortable with, that seems cool or unique or whatever, and once we've established that persona for ourselves in the community, people often assume that's how we are in reality and it's usually not worth it to convince people we only know as avatars otherwise. Ironically, it's equally challenging (if not more so) for someone with 10,000 posts to change their own course defined by some identity they've long since established for themselves in the community (as the curmudgeon, luddite, ornery ex-euro pro, enlightened zen master, cryptic inside-talker, etc etc). Perhaps that may explain multiple IDs for the same person? Waaay OT I know...

So props to you for taking the effort to look for feedback on issues that rise above all this, issues that many can identifty here. Life is full of pain. We can all identify with that. It has nothing to do with how you're perceived in an online community. Posts like this tend to bring out the real side of people. I think most of us, in spite of any spats that occur over what are really quite trivial issues, feel or have felt this kind of pain.

FWIW, I do realize not everyone has shoehorned themselves into some online identity here, perhaps that's most ideal. There are certainly many whose genuine way of being comes through even in their online activity. Regardless, I for one enjoy the fun unique identities, the curmudgeons, the cynics, the ornery ex euro pros :rolleyes:, the goofs, etc etc. They add color. Every forum has them. It keeps things interesting and adds a certain level of entertainment value. What's key is to take everything at face value, take nothing personal, and assume that there are good decent people behind the avatars.

Back on Topic:

Ok, so most of that was wildly of topic, but I can say I feel your pain. Visiting people during their declining moments is not fun. It's wrenching. But they need it as you will some day. There's nothing more difficult than seeing someone, a shadow of their normal selves, struggle to breathe, talk, open their eyes..been there a few times in the last few years. It's natural - we want to remember those people how they were, not what we see happening to them. I don't think we can appreciate how much it means to someone in that kind of pain, when someone they love or have loved comes for a visit. At that point it's about them, not us. Everything about us is set aside at that point. When the dust settles though, I think those moments (ugly as they might have seemed at the time) slowly become some of the most powerful, touching, and sustaining experiences and memories we will ever have. That wisdom and experience is priceless; it's your reward for sticking it out with those people who may outwardly wish you didn't have to see them like that, but inwardly beg and cry out for someone to be at their side.

Not really surprised to hear that a bike ride doesn't help... A sign of real depression sometimes is that you start to loose interest even in things you're passionate about. Maybe part of this is examining the source of the depression. Some of that is certainly the declining condition of your parents. But could some of that be due to the inner conflicts around how much you are visiting them? I wouldn't be surprised if a post-visit ride after you got some of that off your chest would be incredibly healing, if not one of the best rides you've every done...maybe gives you some time to digest the experience, come to terms with things, prepare yourself for the next one, etc. There is depression that occurs because our actions are not in accordance with what we know to be right (we can do something about this, but until we do, it's difficult to be happy about anything) and there is also depression that relates to circumstances beyond our control (declining health of loved ones, tragedies, etc). I think an activity like cycling would be the perfect balm for the later, but not a whole lot can be done to address the former until you face it head on..

**I do agree with 67-59 about taking care of 'you' as well. I guess it depends on how much time you have. But good advice that there are conditions that, left unresolved, could make it impossible to really be there for your loved ones when they need you most. I'll spare you the details, but I can speak from personal experience here as well.

Will we ever see our loved ones who have passed again? We all have our different beliefs here, but being there with someone when the line between life and death is a very blurry one has made many a skeptic of the belief that everything stops when the heart does... Hopefully I am not being too forward in saying that, and sincerely do not wish to offend anyone or broach any taboo subjects.

-Just my very unqualified 2 cents...

All the Best,

Wayne

Serious question here... I know alot of people here don't like me because of my odd humor, but I simply don't communicate with alot of people during my life... I turn to the Forum cuz it's easier to ask advice from perfect strangers, and many here are more experienced in life & situations than me, so...

How do/did you deal with the poor/failing health of your parents? My father recently had a stroke, I don't think he'll recover physically from this, it's been a year and he's still bed-bound. My mom is fragile, shrinking and losing her eyesight and shaking alot. I rarely visit them even though I should as a good son, because it depresses me so much to see them on the decline...

How did you deal with your parent's aging/health? I'm not married, I rarely see friends, I mostly keep to myself and ride and think and feel sad... thanks for any responses, and sorry if this subject is too serious and depressing, but my ride today didn't help me to feel better :(

-Bennett