View Full Version : If you're feeling contentious, argumentative, disputatious, quarrelsome...
akelman
05-10-2012, 12:56 PM
...then this is the thread for you. Seriously, as a service to the forum, I've decided that I'll argue with anyone who needs to get some bile out of their system. My hope is that this will keep other threads relatively civil.
Let's start. I believe the following things to be 100% true.* Shimano, SRAM, and Campy all underperform the competition**; only people who race should be allowed to call themselves cyclists; Rapha is worth every penny; buying American is for suckers; clinchers and tubulars are both worse than worthless***; hand-built frames are a complete waste of money; carbon is dangerous, steel is antiquated, aluminum breaks after less than a week of use, and titanium is a myth cooked up by George Soros to manipulate international currency markets; every time a road bike is outfitted with disc brakes, an angel's wings are ripped from its back; you're a triathlete? seriously?; Ben Bernanke is a better American than George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Ronald Reagan combined; Serotta's website is awesome; and your mother smells like the string cheese I found under my five-year-old's car seat the other day.
Okay, bring it! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y)
* And if you disagree with me, it's because you're a bad person.
** Serious cyclists make their own components, you loser.
*** You don't know of any other option? It sucks to be you, dude.
akelman
05-10-2012, 12:56 PM
Whatever you're about to say isn't true. I read a study one time.
Louis
05-10-2012, 12:59 PM
Ari, are you doing this on your spare time?
akelman
05-10-2012, 01:00 PM
Ari, are you doing this on your spare time?
What business is it of yours, jerk?
William
05-10-2012, 01:00 PM
Whatever you're about to say isn't true. .
Is too.
William;)
akelman
05-10-2012, 01:01 PM
Is too.
No, it's not.
MattTuck
05-10-2012, 01:02 PM
My favorite caption.
http://www.infiniteunknown.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wealth-trickle-down.jpg
I agree with the rest though, tubeless is the way to go. ;)
Nooch
05-10-2012, 01:02 PM
well you smell like string cheese.
William
05-10-2012, 01:03 PM
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
akelman
05-10-2012, 01:03 PM
tubeless is the way to go.
That's absurd.
akelman
05-10-2012, 01:04 PM
Yes, it is.
Is not.
Bud_E
05-10-2012, 01:04 PM
No, it's not.
That's not argument. It's mere contradiction.
William
05-10-2012, 01:04 PM
Is not.
Most certainly is.
Black Dog
05-10-2012, 01:04 PM
Is too.
William;)
Is not!
akelman
05-10-2012, 01:05 PM
You people aren't worth my time. I'm going back to work.
William
05-10-2012, 01:05 PM
That's not argument. It's mere contradiction.
A man walks into an office.
Man: (Michael Palin) Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.
Receptionist: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
Man: No, this is my first time.
Receptionist: I see. Well, do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
Man: Well, what would be the cost?
Receptionist: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
Man: Well, I think it's probably best if I start with the one and then see how it goes from there, okay?
Receptionist: Fine. I'll see who's free at the moment.
(Pause)
Receptionist: Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory. Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
Man: Thank you. (Walks down the hall. Opens door.)
Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that...
Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!
Man: What?
A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!
A: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!
M: Oh! Oh I see!
A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.
M: Oh...Sorry...
A: Not at all!
A: (under his breath) stupid git.
(The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.)
Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Man:(John Cleese) I've told you once.
Man: No you haven't!
Other Man: Yes I have.
M: When?
O: Just now.
M: No you didn't!
O: Yes I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I'm telling you, I did!
M: You did not!
O: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
O: Just the five minutes. Thank you.
O: Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not!
O: Now let's get one thing quite clear: I most definitely told you!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument!
(pause)
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
(pause)
M: It's just contradiction!
O: No it isn't!
M: It IS!
O: It is NOT!
M: You just contradicted me!
O: No I didn't!
M: You DID!
O: No no no!
M: You did just then!
O: Nonsense!
M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
(pause)
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is!
(pause)
M: I came here for a good argument!
O: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
O: Well! it CAN be!
M: No it can't!
M: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!
M: Yes but it isn't just saying 'no it isn't'.
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
O: It is NOT!
M: It is!
O: Not at all!
M: It is!
(The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.)
O: Thank you, that's it.
M: (stunned) What?
O: That's it. Good morning.
M: But I was just getting interested!
O: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes just now!!
O: I'm afraid it was.
M: (leading on) No it wasn't.....
O: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
M: WHAT??
O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
M: But that was never five minutes just now!
Oh Come on!
Oh this is...
This is ridiculous!
O: I told you... I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.
O: Thank you.
M: (clears throat) Well...
O: Well WHAT?
M: That was never five minutes just now.
O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: Well I just paid!
O: No you didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I don't want to argue about it!
O: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
M: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!
O: No you haven't!
M: Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid.
O: Not necessarily. I *could* be arguing in my spare time.
M: I've had enough of this!
O: No you haven't.
M: Oh shut up!
(Man leaves the office)
Nooch
05-10-2012, 01:06 PM
http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/a86/f43/125/resized/defiant-peewee-meme-generator-i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i-65f907.jpg
akelman
05-10-2012, 01:07 PM
A man walks into an office.
You didn't even click the link in the OP. I'm hurt.*
* Passive-aggressive arguments are still arguments.
It's about damn time someone else finally figured out the real story to Titanium....
William
05-10-2012, 01:09 PM
You didn't even click the link in the OP. I'm hurt.*
* Passive-aggressive arguments are still arguments.
Did too.
:)
rugbysecondrow
05-10-2012, 01:14 PM
You missed one.
OT posts are AWESOME and they need to stay in the GD area. No separate section.
FlashUNC
05-10-2012, 01:26 PM
I think your Campy parts hoarding is out of control. Never mind I've been a regular beneficiary of it.
Viper
05-10-2012, 01:42 PM
I want someone to start a, "If You Are on Facebook and Post, 'Tomorrow is my Birthday' and the next day post, 'Thank You For All the Birthday Wishes' only so you can accumulate 89 'Likes', then you are a DB-Thread.
CAMPY!!!
:banana:
67-59
05-10-2012, 01:45 PM
Ari - I agree with everything you said, and everything you are about to say....
tannhauser
05-10-2012, 01:46 PM
You are the right person to start this!
akelman
05-10-2012, 01:49 PM
I think your Campy parts hoarding is out of control. Never mind I've been a regular beneficiary of it.
That's nonsense.
Ari - I agree with everything you said, and everything you are about to say....
What complete crap.
You are the right person to start this!
I'm outraged.
67-59
05-10-2012, 01:54 PM
What complete crap.
Absolutely what I mean!
Mr. Squirrel
05-10-2012, 01:55 PM
mr. ari likes nuts.
mr. squirrel
tuxbailey
05-10-2012, 02:04 PM
Come'on, everyone knows that the Chinese make the best bikes in the world :banana:
:banana:
:banana:
:banana:
fiamme red
05-10-2012, 02:12 PM
Go Yankees!
:banana: :) :cool: :help: ;) :hello: :p :bike:
Peter B
05-10-2012, 02:58 PM
What business is it of yours, jerk?
Listen here you jerk, there's only one jerk and he told me your stem's too short.:bike:
Ahneida Ride
05-10-2012, 02:58 PM
What is the worst thing a sadist can to do a masochist?
absolutely nothing .... :p
FlashUNC
05-10-2012, 03:30 PM
If you have a shed dedicated to Campy parts, its a problem.
I recommend we all have an intervention, and relieve you of those hard-to-find parts.
akelman
05-10-2012, 03:45 PM
your stem's too short
There's no reason to get personal.
akelman
05-10-2012, 03:46 PM
If you have a shed dedicated to Campy parts, its... ...a sign of good character.
I fixed that for you. You're welcome.
What sort of a whack ball hoarder would keep a while shed full of outdated, obsolete old bike parts around??
thinpin
05-10-2012, 03:58 PM
To think I've wasted a good 5 minutes of my day reading this horsedung.
learningtoride
05-10-2012, 04:38 PM
....
laupsi
05-10-2012, 04:55 PM
My favorite caption.
http://www.infiniteunknown.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wealth-trickle-down.jpg
I agree with the rest though, tubeless is the way to go. ;)
I am sorry, but this is hilarious! :hello:
Elefantino
05-10-2012, 06:50 PM
Give me ONE GOOD REASON why anyone should ride a carbon bike.
Frankwurst
05-10-2012, 06:54 PM
Give me ONE GOOD REASON why anyone should ride a carbon bike.
Because they don't know any better.:beer:
54ny77
05-10-2012, 08:21 PM
because they already own one. :p
Give me ONE GOOD REASON why anyone should ride a carbon bike.
laupsi
05-10-2012, 08:33 PM
Give me ONE GOOD REASON why anyone should ride a carbon bike.
because everyone else is riding them.
Steve in SLO
05-10-2012, 09:00 PM
You people aren't worth my time. I'm going back to work.
Dont you walk away from me! (said in best shrill voice)
rounder
05-10-2012, 09:06 PM
Being busy is a good thing.
akelman
05-10-2012, 10:02 PM
Being busy is a good thing.
It depends what one is busy doing, doesn't it?
Bob Loblaw
05-11-2012, 07:55 AM
Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a "what's the best component group" thread.
:beer:
BL
nighthawk
05-11-2012, 09:23 PM
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-fart001.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
binxnyrwarrsoul
05-12-2012, 08:06 AM
Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a "what's the best component group" thread.
:beer:
BL
Campy.
soulspinner
05-13-2012, 03:59 AM
My favorite caption.
http://www.infiniteunknown.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wealth-trickle-down.jpg
I agree with the rest though, tubeless is the way to go. ;)
:hello::hello::hello:
akelman
04-30-2013, 10:11 PM
This thread needs bumping. Who wants to fight?
Louis
04-30-2013, 10:34 PM
Not I. I'm not feeling the least bit contentious today.
akelman
04-30-2013, 10:38 PM
Then what good are you? None! None good!
Louis
04-30-2013, 10:44 PM
I refuse to be drawn into this by your childish behavior. How can someone who likes Campy as much as you be taken seriously?
zmudshark
04-30-2013, 10:52 PM
He started it!
akelman
04-30-2013, 11:12 PM
Not true!
toytech
04-30-2013, 11:15 PM
Grant Peterson is right, and I fart in your general directions.
Carbon bikes are weird looking too :bike:
DerekB
04-30-2013, 11:16 PM
Go to bed!
With no supper!
Louis
04-30-2013, 11:16 PM
Admit it Ari, you're the guy who shipped Tai the Masi without any protection.
Peter B
04-30-2013, 11:42 PM
This thread needs bumping. Who wants to fight?
Says who?
SpokeValley
04-30-2013, 11:43 PM
Go and boil your bottoms, you empty-headed, animal food trough wipers. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.
esldude
04-30-2013, 11:47 PM
This thread needs bumping. Who wants to fight?
Inspired by another thread, and owning one of the beasts, I proclaim recumbents are simply, purely and completely superior to diamond frame bikes. All this other stuff is just a scam to keep cyclists riding the wrong kind of bike.
Of course SRAM, Campy, and Shimano are all inferior to the competition. They are installed on ridiculous second rate diamond frames.
Further in the spirit of full disclosure, I will say my recumbent has full SRAM components which I would never use on any bike I own.
There take that!
Louis
04-30-2013, 11:54 PM
I proclaim recumbents are simply, purely and completely superior to diamond frame bikes.
Are recumbents even considered bikes?
How about tricycles? Here's a good starter:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSjPaieoho9syvvZNMBkzs09N9jlfWkC _gS-bPCApScUV5WpS-m6g
Wow, Ari. I'm really sorry the head tube on the Legend Ti was too short for you. I didn't realize it would incite such rage; it is just a bike!
esldude
04-30-2013, 11:59 PM
Are recumbents even considered bikes?
How about tricycles? Here's a good starter:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSjPaieoho9syvvZNMBkzs09N9jlfWkC _gS-bPCApScUV5WpS-m6g
Are recumbents bikes? Yes they work on two longitudinal wheels. They just work in a manner superior to diamond frames or uprights. Tricycles, being supported by three wheels are trikes, not bikes. Though one can have recumbent trikes as well as recumbent bikes.
Louis
05-01-2013, 12:00 AM
Wow, Ari. I'm really sorry the head tube on the Legend Ti was too short for you. I didn't realize it would incite such rage; it is just a bike!
Don't worry about him - he's already moved on to pursuing that trike pictured above. Easy come, easy go.
shovelhd
05-01-2013, 06:24 AM
Go Yankees!
Yankees suck
earlfoss
05-01-2013, 06:41 AM
Up yours to all of you.
DreaminJohn
05-01-2013, 09:33 AM
Sloping top tubes look stupid.
christian
05-01-2013, 09:46 AM
All this, and not a mention of FRNs. Disappointing.
FlashUNC
05-01-2013, 09:52 AM
All you jerks need a trip to the Argument Clinic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y):
Mark McM
05-01-2013, 09:59 AM
Are recumbents even considered bikes?
How about tricycles? Here's a good starter:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSjPaieoho9syvvZNMBkzs09N9jlfWkC _gS-bPCApScUV5WpS-m6g
That's not a tricycle, that's a tadpole! Are you trying to start a fight?
Joachim
05-01-2013, 10:04 AM
The weather is getting better and some members are still acting like 3 year old's. This place is not the same anymore.
HenryA
05-01-2013, 10:07 AM
the weather is getting better and some members are still acting like 3 year old's. This place is not the same anymore.
no its not!
akelman
05-01-2013, 10:08 AM
All you jerks need a trip to the Argument Clinic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y):
Somebody didn't read the OP. Jerkwad!
Ardan MacNessa
05-01-2013, 10:24 AM
Does yelling "on your left" signify to move to your left, and left of what?
How is it that Nuovo Record is superceded by Super Record when nuovo means just that - new?
As a teenager, great sex and peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches afterwards seemed to make everyone happy, how come the food choices are so complicated when you grow older and is more important than the sex?
Everything is cutting edge
Why something as simple as riding a bicycle becomes so complicated in a conversation?
What is the true meaning of "seat's not level?"
It's not that I agree with what you're saying, but I believe you believe what you believe -is what I'm agreeing with.
Define fast?
If everyone doped, wouldn't it be a competition based on pharmaceuticals? Why not a "Tour d'Pill?"
FlashUNC
05-01-2013, 10:24 AM
Somebody didn't read the OP. Jerkwad!
Yes I did!
Joachim
05-01-2013, 10:41 AM
Somebody didn't read the OP. Jerkwad!
Akelman gives bad deals and hoards silver Campy only to scratch them up and resell at inflated prices on here....there!!!
FlashUNC
05-15-2013, 10:19 AM
This needs a bump all you jerks. (I say this with all requisite love and affection. Except for Ari. He sucks.)
http://cr4.globalspec.com/PostImages/201207/Meme_CC_9AD60648-F1ED-EF6D-10C980DE92998F84.png
shovelhd
05-15-2013, 11:08 AM
Eff you.
Wayne77
05-15-2013, 01:12 PM
Strava is ghey.
Anything or anyone having to do with Strava is ghey.
Therefore my post is ghey.
biker72
05-15-2013, 01:33 PM
.Titanium is a myth cooked up by George Soros to manipulate international currency markets.
I really liked this one. I needed a good laugh today....:D
sparky33
05-15-2013, 01:54 PM
I really liked this one. I needed a good laugh today....:D
Real men ride bamboo bikes.
Ari should be banned. Or atleast forced to pay for data storage for all of these multi-page threads he's starting.
akelman
05-15-2013, 06:00 PM
You call that argumentative? You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
MadRocketSci
05-15-2013, 06:14 PM
framebuilders are douchebags like the rest of us....
flydhest
05-15-2013, 09:00 PM
This thread has moved me to draft a paen to the community that is the Paceline. These arguments do no one any good. I am saddened and somewhat hurt that it continues.
Moreover, as a moderator, I will lock the thread (only to reopen it later to say something else).
<<too soon, too soon>>
shovelhd
05-16-2013, 07:27 AM
Moreover, as a moderator, I will lock the thread (only to reopen it later to say something else)
reported
54ny77
05-16-2013, 07:45 AM
One day I walked into an LBS, and a short while later walked out with a bike. Right off the rack.
William
05-16-2013, 07:53 AM
One day I walked into an LBS, and a short while later walked out with a bike. Right off the rack.
And I'll bet your stem was too short, your saddle is nose down, and your brifters are mounted so high they look like joysticks!!!:p
;););):)
William
FlashUNC
05-16-2013, 07:56 AM
One day I walked into an LBS, and a short while later walked out with a bike. Right off the rack.
How were you able to ride it without crippling, indescribable pain from every joint imaginable?
Surely you needed a seven hour fit session with lasers and computers simply to show how to get on the thing.
charliedid
05-16-2013, 08:04 AM
One day I walked into an LBS, and a short while later walked out with a bike. Right off the rack.
No you didn't.
William
05-16-2013, 08:07 AM
No you didn't.
That's a contradiction.:no:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y
William
54ny77
05-16-2013, 08:11 AM
why, it's bradley wiggins!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MXp2rYg5xf0/UFJM6NCFLEI/AAAAAAAAHho/iGWOGcM7TOw/s1600/michael-palin.jpg
charliedid
05-16-2013, 08:14 AM
That's a contradiction.:no:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y
William
Right, well sorry this was my first time.
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