Separated from wife

[rodcad]

Living in a small 1 bedroom apartment, sleeping on the floor, but things could always be worse!!! Good news is I'm riding lots more :) Garage will be available in a few weeks thank goodness.

[Louis]

Things are much simpler, this way, aren't they? :)

[rodcad]

Now let's see, after I buy a bed, should I order a Kirk or an Ellis or a ............actually given the wait times, I guess I should order something now! Dang, hate when this happens.

[Ti Designs]

I ride over 10K miles/year, but I've never found cycling to replace personal relationships. Hope you always love riding, but somehow that just doesn't look like a full life.

[Louis]

I've never found cycling to replace personal relationships.

"Man's best friend" solves that problem. ;)

[bargainguy]

But not from your bikes!

Don

[rodcad]

I ride over 10K miles/year, but I've never found cycling to replace personal relationships. Hope you always love riding, but somehow that just doesn't look like a full life.

Yea, the bikes wont keep me warm at night, but after what I've been thru, I wont be rushing into a new relationship for a while.

[Louis]

Of course Ed is right, but sometimes it helps to back off and keep thing basic for a while. Let your head and life settle down.

[Marz]

After my break up, my children and cycling helped me hold it together. In a better place now.

You'll get there too, just keep going, don't give up. All the best.

[cat6]

I think hanging the bikes on the towels might be overkill! I have the same rack, no issues scraping paint. Pick up some adhesive backed foam rubber to put on the plastic hangers if you're overly concerned.

I'd buy a bed before another bike, a good nights rest will help you ride better. I've always found the best way to sleep on an air mattress was with a bottle of whiskey.

Good luck.

[dave thompson]

I think hanging the bikes on the towels might be overkill! I have the same rack, no issues scraping paint. Pick up some adhesive backed foam rubber to put on the plastic hangers if you're overly concerned.

I'd buy a bed before another bike, a good nights rest will help you ride better. I've always found the best way to sleep on an air mattress was with a bottle of Tequila.

Good luck.

There, fixed it for you!

[cat6]

Dave, that works for me as well!

:beer:

[maunahaole]

Dave can help you find a nice tequila. It will not be Jose Cuervo, unless he is recommending something for washing parts.

[Viper]

Yea, the bikes wont keep me warm at night, but after what I've been thru, I wont be rushing into a new relationship for a while.

Good luck dude, hang in there, ride and enjoy life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ich5IlYm3PY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxC-Hzcy7pc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DuMaf9G0Wo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM8qhbATePo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEBq9kN8UzE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IPZ23bbM24

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpQI5hXC7Gk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw9XyEhPD3M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NVPKUoqtIU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tZaIDo_ULk

Bonus:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lesRVU1RgNg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4CR3GoB3YY&feature=fvsr

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD28025Q4eM&feature=fvst

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUTf5qvS0Lo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMz0NSXHbFI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMJR85btvtk&feature=related

:beer:

[Ti Designs]

Yea, the bikes wont keep me warm at night, but after what I've been thru, I wont be rushing into a new relationship for a while.

Been there. Got a divorce for my 40th birthday (I'm hard to buy gifts for...). I found that being angry made me train harder, and while ripping other people's legs off was entertaining, I had lost my love for cycling. The only good advice I have is to look forward, not back. Dave offers much better advice than I do here.

[khjr]

I've never found cycling to replace personal relationships.

Not even BAD relationships? :-)

To the OP - Keep your chin up. Lots of us have been through it (I had a place like yours too). My advice is to not dive too deeply into alcohol or food. The temporary austerity can be good for you too - e.g. if you don't have a TV yet, now's the best time to get free of that habit forever.

[avalonracing]

Cycling has been there for me after a couple of tough relationship break-ups... It really helps to channel the energy and it will help you sleep.

As for divorce as Louis CK says, "Divorce isn't a bad thing... No GOOD marriages end up in divorce". (or something along those lines)

Good luck.

[weaponsgrade]

Best of luck to you. Sometimes you just need to hit the reset button.

[54ny77]

Good luck with your personal situation.

I can offer nothing other than the observation that cycling can be a great head-clearer in times of turmoil.

[toosahn]

You ride bikes my size! More details would be awesome.

[rodcad]

You ride bikes my size! More details would be awesome.

Nothing overly fancy here. 2x custom (64cm) Mercian Vincitore's, a True North single speed MTB, and a Santa Cruz Heckler. Not shown is an IF MTB in the closet outside or the Curtlo 29er frameset. Sold the Moots Mooto-X YBB cause I got bitched at about it constantly and needed the $$.

Thanks for all the kind words all, wasn't really looking for them but thanks. I thought sleeping on the floor surrounded by bikes was pretty funny and would elicit some strange comments from this group! NOT turning to food or booze. I have 2 TV's. Found a lady in the next town looking for a riding partner so will probably do that just for grins.

With life being a living hell for the past 2 years I have gotten away from riding a whole lot. Funny how things work out. Driving down the street last week I pull up next to my old riding buddy I hadn't seen in a while. We've ridden together already and are going out this afternoon while his wife is at the doctors. Then at the bike shop, I run into yet another old riding buddy I haven't seen in years. Gonna do the MS 150 with him. I have 3 beautiful daughters and a grandkid, so life is good. Ride safe, Rod

[Bob Loblaw]

Awesome. I'm glad you're reconnecting with riding buddies, an excellent way to start rebuilding a social network. One of the great things about cycling is the quality of the people. I think because it's such a demanding sport and so humbling, cyclists tend to be people of character.

BL

Funny how things work out. Driving down the street last week I pull up next to my old riding buddy I hadn't seen in a while. We've ridden together already and are going out this afternoon while his wife is at the doctors. Then at the bike shop, I run into yet another old riding buddy I haven't seen in years. Gonna do the MS 150 with him. I have 3 beautiful daughters and a grandkid, so life is good. Ride safe, Rod

[R2D2]

Keep riding and reconnecting with what you truly love.
You'll be better off in the long run.

[MattTuck]

where are you living? (city)

[old_fat_and_slow]

...

[rodcad]

where are you living? (city)

Fort Collins CO

[Viper]

Somebody from FC, CO get this man a cold beer (Dale's Pale Ale rocks) and a bike ride. I'll paypal money for the Dale's.

Good luck dude.

:beer:

[flydhest]

Fort Collins CO

My mother-in-law lives there . . . as does my Serotta CSi. I'll drop you a note next time we're out there. Would be good to ride with a local.

[old_fat_and_slow]

...

[sloji]

1. Don't get involved with other women.
2. Don't drink when down.
3. Make a lot of friends.
4. Use the time for self-inspection.
5. Cry when you have to, laugh when you want to.
6. Get help when you need it...too many guys don't ask and go down the rabbit hole.
7. Get physical.
8. Read Bukowski and the Bible.
9. Let Viper by you the beer when you are in a great mood!

Wisdom comes from all directions...

[OperaLover]

1. Don't get involved with other women.
2. Don't drink when down.
3. Make a lot of friends.
4. Use the time for self-inspection.
5. Cry when you have to, laugh when you want to.
6. Get help when you need it...too many guys don't ask and go down the rabbit hole.
7. Get physical.
8. Read Bukowski and the Bible.
9. Let Viper by you the beer when you are in a great mood!

Wisdom comes from all directions...

Great advice! I would add:

10. Reach out to your friends for help. In particular female freinds and family with whom there is no romantic interest. My mother, my sister, my sister's husband's mother, all good strong women that helped me tremedously. Kept me grounded and from judging all women based on my ex-wife.

Learned a lot from my first marriage and divorce. You will, too. If you must get divorced, let it be positive. It's not easy, but this too shall pass . . .

That was over 20 years ago. Happily remarried now for over 11 years.

[wc1934]

[QUOTE=flydhest;1114713]My mother-in-law lives there . . .

you trying to fix him up with your mother-in law - nooooo
only kidding!

[Hank Scorpio]

Keep you hands out from under any law mowers if your wife has the pull cord in her hand!

[Louis]

Keep you hands out from under any law mowers if your wife has the pull cord in her hand!

What are you talking about, everyone knows that the blades don't move unless the mower is moving...

[jghall]

Sorry to hear. Unfortunately seems to be somewhat the norm in today's world.

When it happened to me, I used the bike, and much of what Sloji and others have mentioned, to help me cope with the anger, disappointment, and feelings of failure.

Not sure if there are kids involved, but if so, put them first.

Best of luck!

[Viper]

+1 about the beer.

When I encounter a strife, I seldom drink as it is, but during a challenge there is never anything gained by the bar. Ever. Barbells, yes, the gym and the bike? Yep. I've had a handful of friends over the years fall into a lifestyle, trap of alcohol and anti-depressants. Alcohol is the undoing of more, potential greatness and when combined with pills, you have a train and a wreck in constant, chronic movement. I had a friend who was so stoned, sloshed on pills and booze for about a year, she resembled Anna Nicole Smith, while telling me, "I am (using the pills and booze) healing." Time and time again, poor decisions she made, "Due to drinking" she'd say, but it wasn't the beer which made her make poor decisions. It was her.

Healing takes Mother Nature and Father Time.
Not beer, wine or pills.
Remember what wine did to Cassio in Act II, Scene III of Othello:

http://shakespeare-navigators.com/othello/T23.html

It takes inner peace.
Balance.
Focus.
Kelsey Grammer, an alcoholic, told Shatner that addiction is due to, "Unresolved grief."

http://www.esquire.com/features/what-ive-learned/kelsey-grammer-interview-0110

http://www.biography.com/tv/shatners-raw-nerve/videos/kelsey-grammer-meet-the-guest-2087072184

Effort, energy and enthusiasm.
Keep breathing, thinking, being and the balance will fall in your direction.
Humans, our physical bodies and inner spirit are self-healing.
We screw that healing process up with mental denial and physical abuse.
Ride. Hang on, hang in and hang five. Drink water, Gatorade and keep eating life as you always have...enjoy. These days are better than that.

Songs = cliffnotes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueFTz3owufQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blqa-3q-b38

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZafL4H0Ooa8&feature=relmfu

Bonus, sleeping on the floor...we've all been on the floor...sing from it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls8Ov03bIQk&feature=relmfu

:cool:

[eweg]

your pad is just missing a few nice cycling posters.

[rodcad]

I agree! great idea!

[John Price]

Mike and I plan on riding with Rod in the next few weeks. We'll be sure to buy him beers and cheer him up.

John

[Greg Wright]

been there, done that--all near Fort Collins. Now live in Fort Collins and happily remarried.

Everyone advising good positive notes to avoid baaaaaad stuff. Nothing good will come from any of them. Most of all, if kids are involved, I would encourage you continue to make them the utmost priority. Parent for life, husband only as long as you can stand it. Kids will adapt and figure you out (if you're a jerk or not), but it's best to be highly involved with them. You can still come out with a pretty close relationship with them.

I'm suprised I haven't seen the infamous quote from any of the forum's legal counselors--
Question: Why is divorce so expensive?
Answer: Because it's WORTH IT!

Best of luck. Fort Collins is fantastic place for cyling with lots of cycling groups to interact with. An occasional drop in for a brewery stop is not a bad thing either.
Cheers--:beer:

[rdparadise]

Rod:

Seperation and divorce suck. Been there and done that twice so I know and feel your pain.

Take care of yourself, nurture yourself during this time of loneliness.

Best of luck with working things out one way or the other.

Regards,

Bob