Where do I start: Asperger syndrome

[weisan]

We suspect our son has Asperger syndrome. He's 11, super bright, but socially awkward and can't pick up other people's body language or cues. Interested in learning from other pals' experience on how to approach it. Thank you.

[zzy]

FWIW, before you label him that, take him to a professional. Your doctor can point you in the right direction. Autism is understood today as a spectrum disorder and while he may show certain signs, it doesn't necessarily mean he meets all the criteria. A professional can help with his development and even assist with finding appropriate special education if need be. It's not uncommon to have certain developmental delays at his age, but being labeled early on can negatively affect his growth. My ex used to work with autistic children and in severe cases it is a massive challenge. Be strong for your son and leave the diagnosis to a professional.

[weisan]

Agree completely.

That's why I used the word "suspect". And I hate...I mean, I HATE labeling people...especially children.

Super dumb and unproductive.

[Britishbane]

I'd suggest a developmental pediatrician.

[tourmalet]

As an engineer, I have worked with many people on the autistic spectrum who live rich, productive lives regardless of their not being "neurotypical." A supportive environment that caters to your son's interests and a community that recognizes his special needs will let him thrive. I encourage you to seek other parents and professionals who can help you and your son.

[Tickdoc]

Weisan pal I am sorry to see you wrestling with this. Others have said it but diagnosis is key towards making a proper environment for him the thrive. Good friends have a son who is in his second year of college now on a full ride band scholarship who was severely antisocial ausperger at 11. He has worked hard and found a joy that will lead him to a career and I would've never thought that possible when he was younger. With a truly gifted individual like that, finding what motivates and cultivating it is so important.

Best of luck and bless him for having such a god role model to follow.

[Hilltopperny]

Worked with a lot of spectrum and developmentally delayed children a while back. It's possible to be brilliant and still have some quirks without necessarily being in the spectrum. I believe we all have out tics so to say. Bring him to someone competent for some testing if it does become a big concern.

If he has a aspergers it will be fine. Gives him a different perspective on life. Consistency and structure will help him along the way if it turns out to be the case. Best of luck.

[weisan]

Thank you so much for the outpouring of support and encouragement, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Y'all the best pals I can ever ask for!

[bigbill]

Originally Posted by tourmalet

As an engineer, I have worked with many people on the autistic spectrum who live rich, productive lives regardless of their not being "neurotypical." A supportive environment that caters to your son's interests and a community that recognizes his special needs will let him thrive. I encourage you to seek other parents and professionals who can help you and your son.

I work with a 53 year old EE like that. He's had a successful career and knows his quirks better than anyone. At this point in his life he realizes how his actions affect others and stops to think before speaking. I thoroughly enjoy working with him.

[buddybikes]

We have a daughter, age 26 with Aspergers. Highly intelligent, Calculus at age 13, degree (with difficulty) in math and computer science. We thought is was shyness/anxiety and took a GOOD psychotherapist that does assessments to clamp it down. (I know the best here in MA...) Her biggest challenges are hypersensititivity (all senses) that triggers serious migraines. She now is a student coach for math/cs at a community college and seems to be working out well. She is considered permanently disabled which makes insurance easier. Her boyfriend also is on the spectrum, but higher functioning, in fact interviewing with Google.

probably best to take offline, could write for hours.

Most important don't ask "how do you feel" they can't comprehend it. Ask specific question.

[BobO]

Originally Posted by weisan

We suspect our son has Asperger syndrome. He's 11, super bright, but socially awkward and can't pick up other people's body language or cues. Interested in learning from other pals' experience on how to approach it. Thank you.

I will echo what some others have said, that term "Asperger's" carries with it a severe negative connotation in the general public. (My brother has had to deal with that aspect all of his life) It's probably best to avoid it's use altogether especially since that's not really a diagnosis anymore. If that's the area he's in, that is considered a high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder. There will be challenges, but, there is every chance he will be able to live a happy healthy life.

[DfCas]

We have a 20 year old daughter who was diagnosed at age 3 or 4. She stayed in public school until her freshman year of high school when the teasing got so bad she could no longer function. We withdrew her and she attends a private online high school. She is in her last year of high school now and is much better without the social stresses of public school.

We hope she starts college in the spring of 2018 but to be honest I hope shes able to find a vocation and provide for herself. We plan to give her the house but I hope she will be able to earn enough to pay for the upkeep.

It may be better to take this offline as others have suggested. It has been very difficult but is somewhat better now as she matures.

[OtayBW]

As they say, "Not all who wander are lost'.

Vive le quirks!

Good luck Weisan.

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[Keith A]

Weisan -- I have nothing to add for your request, but do wish you and your family the best as you seek for (and provide) the best care for your son.

[Black Dog]

Wei pal. PM me, I work with a few students with Aspbergers every year and wold be happy to chat.