OT: The kids these days.

[redir]

It's definitely not a 'kids these days' problem. I went to a small high school and there was two suicides in the 4 years I was there and that was in the 80's. It's definitely a disease but it can also be brought on by environmental factors like for example as some one mentioned harassment. Unfortunately the Internet is both a blessing and a curse as it can be an incredible tool to harass kids.

I really feel sorry for people who have to suffer depression. Not once in my life have I ever had it. In fact I remember thinking as a teenager why would anyone want to end it. I was always looking forward to what came next.

[staggerwing]

Originally Posted by rugbysecondrow

...
It is sad. High school was such an insignificant part of my life, and I even had a good experience. I just wish these kids knew how much better it gets. How great college is. How much fun they can have in their 20's. How rewarding it is to get married, kids, relationships etc. That life is what you make it, and you can craft a wonderful life of your own making, not your parents, peers or schools making. It is a shame that they have become so focused on this stage that they can't see beyond it.
...

Your perspective matches mine on the significance of high school. However, a few years back, I went to 25 year reunion for my wife's high school. Most of those in attendance seemed to regard high school as the absolute pinnacle of their time on earth, and wanted to rekindle connections in hopes of recapturing the glory. Mystified me. My "real" life started in college, not that I would wish to return to that era either, and has progressed from there.

My hun and I have agreed to no more HS reunions, ever.

Originally Posted by rugbysecondrow

...I believe that many have chemical imbalances and medical conditions (depression etc) which drives their action, but I suspect many don't They are just teens who made a horrific choice in a moment where their whole life seemed hopeless due to a temporary issue. I have an 8 yo, 5 yo and 3 month old...how do I teach them to love and respect themselves for who they are, not who I want them to be or who society says they should be? I can try, but I don't know that I can. I can be an example of this, as can their mother, but that might be all I can do. Show love, show respect.

It has been said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. At some level, all you can do is to gently guide, and encourage them to find their own path, regardless of peer pressure. That fact you are having this conversation suggests that you will engage your kids on these issues as need be.

As an aside, I do think it is important to keep kids out of the house and engaged in physical activities. Although anecdotal from a scientific standpoint, my son, with all of his issues, was in the best head space of his life, while on swim team. He was never competitive, and as parents, we didn't care about that, but the level of physical intensity required for the workouts, made his brain function more normally. My greatest surprise, in returning to cycling at 40, was the better head space achieved by an energetic ride.

Try some things, let them pick, and encourage participation over competition, but don't let them spend all of their free time tied tied to e-devices. Hiking, backpacking, and camping have all been well received and make for great family friendly adventures.

Over the past 18 months, I have responded to my wifes encouragement to attend yoga sessions. Looking back, it has taught me some useful techniques for finding some inner peace when the seas around are churning. Interestingly, similar principles of mindful meditation and controlled breathing where introduced at the catholic (Jesuit) high school I attended. Despite the surroundings, the instruction was entirely secular. Sadly, today it would likely be seen as the unwelcome introduction of religion.

[Kirk007]

Originally Posted by staggerwing

Over the past 18 months, I have responded to my wifes encouragement to attend yoga sessions. Looking back, it has taught me some useful techniques for finding some inner peace when the seas around are churning. Interestingly, similar principles of mindful meditation and controlled breathing where introduced at the catholic (Jesuit) high school I attended. Despite the surroundings, the instruction was entirely secular. Sadly, today it would likely be seen as the unwelcome introduction of religion.

I feel for your situation. Ours has been challenging, but very good friends have a son bouncing in and out of the juvenile and next bounce will be in the adult justice system due to mental health issues. Their other son, 2 years younger, starts law school in the fall -- the luck and unluck of genetics.

A few years ago I found solace in eastern philosophy and mediation as you have in yoga. Recent studies have shown it is effective with kids and anger management. I keep encouraging my son to check it out. The philosophy resonates with him but he hasn't picked up the meditation piece yet. I do think that some of these techniques - controlled breathing, meditation, yoga etc could be helpful for our children; would be nice to see them included in health and phys ed. curriculums.

[verticaldoug]

Some of you may remember this when it happened. ESPN just published a long story about the young woman. Definite read and heartbreaking.

http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/stor...nly-part-story

[unterhausen]

Originally Posted by redir

It's definitely not a 'kids these days' problem. I went to a small high school and there was two suicides in the 4 years I was there and that was in the 80's. It's definitely a disease but it can also be brought on by environmental factors like for example as some one mentioned harassment. Unfortunately the Internet is both a blessing and a curse as it can be an incredible tool to harass kids.

it's not anything new. The thing that is new is that people can more easily leave a message seen by lots of people. That's a big problem for copycats. Back in my day, they would just go out and have a single-car accident. And if they left a note it wouldn't be passed around for very good reasons. But other people knew and there were still suicide clusters as a result