OT completing application to nursing home

[54ny77]

got nothing to add but our thoughts of kindness and compassion for what you're going thru.

[htwoopup]

You are, and will be getting, a lot of good advice here on the forms and financial stuff. And, as others have said, find good outside help also.

Having lived through taking care of my Mom with this I will only say that do everything you can to do it right. But know that you won't do it 100% right no matter how hard you try. It is just the nature of the beast. It is an extremely confusing, frustrating, and ridiculous situation we have on how payments work and how it can sap the economic future of families.

One thing that I have not seen mentioned here that was very, very helpful to me and so I suggest it to you and others is a book done by some folks at Johns Hopkins a number of years ago. It is called "The 36 Hour Day" The subtitle is "A Family Guide to Caring for Persons with Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementing Illnesses, and Memory Loss in Later Life".

While you may be strong and think you know everything about your wife and what she is going through and how to deal with it, this book will still be helpful. At least it was to me.

The emotional and psychological stuff you and your family is going through change over the course of the disease and I found this book very helpful in keeping my spirits on track when confronted with the course of the disease and the changes in my Mom.

You don't have to read the whole thing...the first 110 pages or so are what is important in helping your wife and yourself.

Good luck on the whole journey.

[Kingfisher]

Originally Posted by oldpotatoe

So sorry...my mother in law has Alzheimer's, is now in a 20 bed memory care center. The system with her is to drain her savings(at about $7500 per month), apply for medicad(just completed with the an attorney's assistance)..and nothing changes..just be sure the place she goes has a 'no discharge' policy. 'Some' places, if the patient is either somewhat violent or in the Alzheimer's 'end game', will discharge to a local hospital.

BUT get an attorney who specializes in this sort of thing, visit as many care centers as you can and my thoughts out to you for your very difficult situation..

This is what my attorney is advising, spend down our savings then hopefully Medicaid will kick in. There is also something called spousal impoverishment act where they can not take the house, leave me with one car etc. I hate going through this but others have said you must protect yourself otherwise you'll be left with nothing

[Duende]

I don't know if this was mentioned, but beware of purchasing meds from these nursing homes.

Many of them have ongoing contracts with drug companies, which drives their prices way up. There is no legal obligation to use them, despite what they might tell you.

My father's prescription drug bills went down nearly 75% in cost when we started purchasing his meds directly.

So sad to hear your news. Such a horrible horrible disease.

There are good people who care in the care facility industry. It's just going to take some time and effort to find them.

Best to you.

[Rpoole8537]

I empathize with your situation. My sister and I sat down with an attorney when our mother had to move into a facility, and it was money well spent. It helped us all to get on the same page and work from a better strategy. We also found that some benefits were available from the VA if either of you are veterans. (I found that not all VA Reps know about all of the programs that are available.) A support group, which was recommended, was important for me, as well.

[robin3mj]

VA Aid and Attendance is available to spouses of folks who served as well. Lots of widows (and widowers) don't always seem to know that.

[oldpotatoe]

Originally Posted by Kingfisher

This is what my attorney is advising, spend down our savings then hopefully Medicaid will kick in. There is also something called spousal impoverishment act where they can not take the house, leave me with one car etc. I hate going through this but others have said you must protect yourself otherwise you'll be left with nothing

Correct..see an attorney who does this sort of thing..There is very little good news in this whole thing, my condolences to you.

[Ralph]

Originally Posted by Kingfisher

This is what my attorney is advising, spend down our savings then hopefully Medicaid will kick in. There is also something called spousal impoverishment act where they can not take the house, leave me with one car etc. I hate going through this but others have said you must protect yourself otherwise you'll be left with nothing

I don't mean to sound mean or cruel.....your wife will be taken care of one way or another. You are the one in jeopardy here. Protect yourself. Use the law. Medicaid is a benefit we have all paid for. Don't be hesitant to take Medicaid benefits for her as soon as possible.

[oldpotatoe]

Originally Posted by Ralph

I don't mean to sound mean or cruel.....your wife will be taken care of one way or another. You are the one in jeopardy here. Protect yourself. Use the law. Medicaid is a benefit we have all paid for. Don't be hesitant to take Medicaid benefits for her as soon as possible.

But it's important to note that Medicaid must be applied for, it's not automatic. My wife has spent the last 3 months, along with an attorney, to set it all up, get it approved. Not a simple process at all. Should be more simple but it isn't. In addition, and NOT trying to make any political statement, do it sooner rather than later considering congressional 'bills' in the possible 'que', with regards to Medicaid.