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#32
11-21-2014, 07:00 PM
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It's everywhere. Lady today told me she was eating at a restaurant and the lady on her right had her purse hanging behind her chair, open with her wallet right on top. She told that she shouldn't do that and was cursed out for her effort.
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Forgive me for posting dumb stuff. Chris Little Rock, AR 
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#33
11-21-2014, 08:18 PM
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In generally folks don't appreciate unsolicited advice. In my experience cyclists interacting with cars are probably already in a code orange/red mindset and will be even less receptive... even if your just telling them they're saddle bag isn't zipped and stuff is falling out.
Quote:
Last edited by rw229; 11-21-2014 at 08:21 PM.
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#34
11-22-2014, 10:59 AM
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context.
you're up against a lot, man, rolling down your window while sitting in a car and talking to someone on two wheels. likely, we're all on defence when we are in either position, and it's about context more than the actual situation.
my favourite method is the unsolicited compliment. it tends to dissolve the defensiveness and maybe or maybe not open it up to further discussion wherein you can say what you really wanted to say. if not, at least you engaged in a favorable interaction with a rider/driver. this is awesome. roll down the window, say, 'hey, that's a nice frame, man! c50 with b-stays? awesome!…' (obviously, i have no idea if such a frame even exists.) then he responds and then maybe you chat/mention you were looking out for him back there at that intersection where you frequently ride and have to deal with unaware drivers etc. etc…. just a thought. i've take to waving/knocking on windows of cars with taillights out, just to give them a friendly reminder that they have a light out. no need to engage in it, but it's a positive interaction (and might save them a ticket) between rider and driver, and we need as many of those as possible. good on ya.
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#35
11-24-2014, 12:50 PM
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It is hard to make too much out of a short interaction. He may have figured he was following the rules and therefore immune to a comment that, however helpfully intended, could be construed as criticism.
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#37
11-24-2014, 01:10 PM
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I have to work at this, I"m a little tired of stupid and unsolicited advice. Not that the OP fits in that category, sounds like a cogent observation. Some guy that passed me while going twice the speed limit slowed down to tell me he thought my left turn was dangerous. I really had to control myself from cussing him out -- there is no way it would have been dangerous had he been following the law. I'm getting better at that, mostly because I figured out that cursing people leaves me feeling worse about myself. I don't flip off people that honk anymore either, I just wave to let them know I heard them but I'm not changing what I'm doing
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#38
11-24-2014, 03:54 PM
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Power differential
There is such an extreme power differential between someone on a bike, probably <300 lbs., and someone in a car, probably around 4,000 lbs. Despite intentions or how the message is delivered, it's almost impossible for someone in a motor vehicle to initiate a conversation and not have it come across as threatening.
The cyclist probably saw the speed of cross traffic, was aware of the poor lighting and was already nervous about being exposed so long during the turn while having trouble locking into his pedals. It's likely he was already frazzled and the OP's message, despite best intentions, was inferred as unhelpful at best and somewhat menacing at worst.
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#39
11-24-2014, 04:09 PM
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Re-reading the OP, I'm further convinced that if "blame" can be assigned, it's with him.
Dude feels like he knows how to ride a bike. He has thought about all of the decisions he makes while riding the bike- like where he likes to be in the lane while waiting for the light, and why, and has reasoned that he likes to be where he likes to be for his own reasons. He was probably at least a little embarrassed about mis-clipping - nobody likes to look like a noob, but you feel like that's what you look like when you ···· up a clip (I know I do). Then along comes some dude contradicting your own well-reasoned decisions about what is and isn't safe on the bike, and he's claiming to be a cyclist, and probably thinks you're a noob because you missed your pedal clip off the line........ How can you NOT understand how he wouldn't be receptive to you? I don't mean this with any hostility, here from the comfort of my comfy desk chair (not on a bike in the middle of the night), but you gotta just keep your "advice" to yourself. Guys might or might not know what they're doing, but the implication that they don't is almost always going to be insulting.
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where are we going, and why am i in this handbasket?
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