Where do I start: Asperger syndrome

[weisan]

We suspect our son has Asperger syndrome. He's 11, super bright, but socially awkward and can't pick up other people's body language or cues. Interested in learning from other pals' experience on how to approach it. Thank you.

[zzy]

FWIW, before you label him that, take him to a professional. Your doctor can point you in the right direction. Autism is understood today as a spectrum disorder and while he may show certain signs, it doesn't necessarily mean he meets all the criteria. A professional can help with his development and even assist with finding appropriate special education if need be. It's not uncommon to have certain developmental delays at his age, but being labeled early on can negatively affect his growth. My ex used to work with autistic children and in severe cases it is a massive challenge. Be strong for your son and leave the diagnosis to a professional.

[weisan]

Agree completely.

That's why I used the word "suspect". And I hate...I mean, I HATE labeling people...especially children.

Super dumb and unproductive.

[Britishbane]

I'd suggest a developmental pediatrician.

[Hilltopperny]

Worked with a lot of spectrum and developmentally delayed children a while back. It's possible to be brilliant and still have some quirks without necessarily being in the spectrum. I believe we all have out tics so to say. Bring him to someone competent for some testing if it does become a big concern.

If he has a aspergers it will be fine. Gives him a different perspective on life. Consistency and structure will help him along the way if it turns out to be the case. Best of luck.

[weisan]

Thank you so much for the outpouring of support and encouragement, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Y'all the best pals I can ever ask for!

[tourmalet]

As an engineer, I have worked with many people on the autistic spectrum who live rich, productive lives regardless of their not being "neurotypical." A supportive environment that caters to your son's interests and a community that recognizes his special needs will let him thrive. I encourage you to seek other parents and professionals who can help you and your son.

[Tickdoc]

Weisan pal I am sorry to see you wrestling with this. Others have said it but diagnosis is key towards making a proper environment for him the thrive. Good friends have a son who is in his second year of college now on a full ride band scholarship who was severely antisocial ausperger at 11. He has worked hard and found a joy that will lead him to a career and I would've never thought that possible when he was younger. With a truly gifted individual like that, finding what motivates and cultivating it is so important.

Best of luck and bless him for having such a god role model to follow.

[bigbill]

Originally Posted by tourmalet

As an engineer, I have worked with many people on the autistic spectrum who live rich, productive lives regardless of their not being "neurotypical." A supportive environment that caters to your son's interests and a community that recognizes his special needs will let him thrive. I encourage you to seek other parents and professionals who can help you and your son.

I work with a 53 year old EE like that. He's had a successful career and knows his quirks better than anyone. At this point in his life he realizes how his actions affect others and stops to think before speaking. I thoroughly enjoy working with him.

[buddybikes]

We have a daughter, age 26 with Aspergers. Highly intelligent, Calculus at age 13, degree (with difficulty) in math and computer science. We thought is was shyness/anxiety and took a GOOD psychotherapist that does assessments to clamp it down. (I know the best here in MA...) Her biggest challenges are hypersensititivity (all senses) that triggers serious migraines. She now is a student coach for math/cs at a community college and seems to be working out well. She is considered permanently disabled which makes insurance easier. Her boyfriend also is on the spectrum, but higher functioning, in fact interviewing with Google.

probably best to take offline, could write for hours.

Most important don't ask "how do you feel" they can't comprehend it. Ask specific question.

[Black Dog]

Wei pal. PM me, I work with a few students with Aspbergers every year and wold be happy to chat.

[gomango]

Originally Posted by Black Dog

Wei pal. PM me, I work with a few students with Aspbergers every year and wold be happy to chat.

There you go.

That's a good idea.

Feel free to pm me as well.

I've been in a middle school classroom for the last twenty-two years and have certification in ASD classroom integration.

At this point though, I see Aspbergers syndrome and autism as a separate and distinctly unique diagnosis. There are some distinct differences that your developmental pediatrician may help with.

Happy to chat off line if you think it would be worthwhile.

Good luck. Loads of help out there for sure.

[kevinvc]

This may sound odd, but this is actually good news in many ways. My daughter is neurologically atypical and we had a lot of challenges working with her, her school admin and instructors, soccer coach, other parents, etc. because of some of its manifestations.

Getting a diagnosis and understanding what it meant allowed us to help her. Occupational therapy was truly transformative for her. Having a 504 plan with the school made a huge difference. It was amazing how something as simple as allowing her to use a special seat cushion had a huge impact on her in class behavior and ability to learn.

No two people are the same and I certainly wouldn't want to suggest that I understand exactly what you all are dealing with or how to address it. But having a starting point in seeking the right assistance is a very positive thing.

Good luck to you and your family. She is lucky to have a parent as thoughtful and wise as you.

[Bentley]

First I applaud you for coming forward with a concern and agree leave it to professionals to diagnose.

I have a nephew who has a form of Autism, I felt something was not right very early on but my sister in law was not having it, she was in denial until about 11/12 years old. Unless this has been a nagging concern for a while my guess is that it is not what you fear, just the same your child may need some help.

Its difficult as a parent to acknowledge a "problem", but its the first step to gaining an understanding and potentially a treatment. My oldest had a speech impediment as a child, I knew something was not right but my wife thought she would grow out of it, she did'nt. Resulted in some extra help early in school, it worked out she made partner at her firm.

I wish you and your family the best, good luck on the journey, its gonna be OK, I know because you have a great, positive attitude, that in an of itself puts you on the road of finding a solution.

Best

Ray

[weisan]

Thank you all, again I really appreciate the inputs and offers to chat offline. This is family.