OT: Job Question OR "Life's too short to be unhappy"

[KidWok]

Originally Posted by Ken Robb

Sometimes we find that an activity that was a fun hobby or part-time job loses its appeal when we HAVE to do it to survive financially.

This. I was formerly a cycling event director. I ate, slept, and breathed it for about five years. I stopped enjoying cycling as my hobby. Was able to start enjoying it again after I left that job.

Don't find a job that you LOVE. Find a job that stimulates you (it doesn't sound like the current one does), but you can walk away from at the end of the day so that you can be present with your wife and kids.

After I left that job, I became a commercial real estate broker. One of my guests at my event pulled me aside and recruited me. I ended up not joining his firm, but he opened other doors for me. It has taken me two years to turn this into a living, but it has been worth it. I'm not making a ton of money (yet), but I am really enjoying my life and my family loves that I am there for them.

Tai

[josephr]

Originally Posted by Nooch

Anyone ever leave a stable desk job to do something they enjoyed more? Maybe I just need to ride more...

18 years of human resources (mostly recruiting and employee relations) and sick of the rat-race and carrying the corporate banner. Burned out from managers who don't really give a crap as long as they make their qtrly bonus and mediating with employees who treat like you're the 'company cop.' I'm done...I started my plan last fall to go back to school for Nursing and will finish up 2019, my youngest will finish college is 2022. After that, its travel nurse time! Done being a recruiter, time to be recruited.

[Ken Robb]

Originally Posted by KidWok

This. I was formerly a cycling event director. I ate, slept, and breathed it for about five years. I stopped enjoying cycling as my hobby. Was able to start enjoying it again after I left that job.

Don't find a job that you LOVE. Find a job that stimulates you (it doesn't sound like the current one does), but you can walk away from at the end of the day so that you can be present with your wife and kids.

After I left that job, I became a commercial real estate broker. One of my guests at my event pulled me aside and recruited me. I ended up not joining his firm, but he opened other doors for me. It has taken me two years to turn this into a living, but it has been worth it. I'm not making a ton of money (yet), but I am really enjoying my life and my family loves that I am there for them.

Tai

Good for you. I was a real estate broker for 36 years before I retired.

[joosttx]

Originally Posted by johnmdesigner

You have 2 children who will be more expensive than you can possibly imagine.

Truth

[Hindmost]

It sounds like providing for your family is a major factor.

I was the kind of person that stayed at "secure" positions with reasonable compensation until the companies collapsed around me. I didn't even have kids to consider. I don't think I could say that I ever loved a job but I was almost always personally and professionally challenged.

[Nooch]

Originally Posted by KidWok

This. I was formerly a cycling event director. I ate, slept, and breathed it for about five years. I stopped enjoying cycling as my hobby. Was able to start enjoying it again after I left that job.

Don't find a job that you LOVE. Find a job that stimulates you (it doesn't sound like the current one does), but you can walk away from at the end of the day so that you can be present with your wife and kids.

After I left that job, I became a commercial real estate broker. One of my guests at my event pulled me aside and recruited me. I ended up not joining his firm, but he opened other doors for me. It has taken me two years to turn this into a living, but it has been worth it. I'm not making a ton of money (yet), but I am really enjoying my life and my family loves that I am there for them.

Tai

Coincidentally, I also pursued my license a few years ago, and worked briefly in the industry (essentially long enough for me to sell myself my first house). It's a passion of mine, but I wasn't able to do it as a third job and find any sort of success in it.

Part of this pipe dream of being a full time fine dining server was that I'd spend mornings focused on real estate (after taking care of myself).

All that, all this, however is likely null with the news my wife sent shortly after I'd posted this -- that our family may be growing one larger. And since I haven't told anyone I personally know yet, since it's still so incredibly new and you know, we don't talk about these things until a certain time has passed, I guess I can share that news with you guys!

So it would seem best to stay the course, for the immediate future, and consider option two (find a payroll position at a company, grow into human resources, etc, vs. being at a payroll company with no growth...)

[rePhil]

Congratulations!

Originally Posted by Nooch

Coincidentally, I also pursued my license a few years ago, and worked briefly in the industry (essentially long enough for me to sell myself my first house). It's a passion of mine, but I wasn't able to do it as a third job and find any sort of success in it.

Part of this pipe dream of being a full time fine dining server was that I'd spend mornings focused on real estate (after taking care of myself).

All that, all this, however is likely null with the news my wife sent shortly after I'd posted this -- that our family may be growing one larger. And since I haven't told anyone I personally know yet, since it's still so incredibly new and you know, we don't talk about these things until a certain time has passed, I guess I can share that news with you guys!

So it would seem best to stay the course, for the immediate future, and consider option two (find a payroll position at a company, grow into human resources, etc, vs. being at a payroll company with no growth...)

[hollowgram5]

Yes, absolutely congratulations!

[AngryScientist]

hey, congratulations ahead of time! good thing you've already got a van

considering your original question - there is no way, unless i absolutely had to, would i consider working a full time job + a part time job at this stage of my life.

humans should not spend so much time at work, and so little time at play/leisure; it's just not healthy in the long run for yourself or your family life, especially if you're working for someone else, and not yourself.

i would absolutely find a job that can pay the bills on a full time basis. keep your current job until you find something good, with decent pay and some flexibility. IMO.

[Nooch]

Originally Posted by AngryScientist

hey, congratulations ahead of time! good thing you've already got a van

considering your original question - there is no way, unless i absolutely had to, would i consider working a full time job + a part time job at this stage of my life.

humans should not spend so much time at work, and so little time at play/leisure; it's just not healthy in the long run for yourself or your family life, especially if you're working for someone else, and not yourself.

i would absolutely find a job that can pay the bills on a full time basis. keep your current job until you find something good, with decent pay and some flexibility. IMO.

Yeah, I mean, that's a problem, because our financial needs are what they are. But, I've also done this forever -- I'm not work averse. I've held two jobs in some manner since I was 19 (I'm 33 now), and whether it was two part time jobs or a part time and a full time job, it's just been something I do.

I landed in this industry haphazardly -- I was a bank teller, there was more money at Paychex, I went to Paychex. That was 12 years ago. From there I landed at the company I'm at now, better pay, better culture (I get to wear shorts to work, which is something...) But I've got a liberal arts degree that cost me a fortune (and I'll be paying back for 8 more years @ $500/month) and gets me nothing, essentially. The only discernible skill I have is that I'm talented in customer relations, but service jobs aren't really that lucrative.

The whole reason I thought moving into a fine dining gig was that I could bank on that skill. Even at the mid-level restaurant (with a pooled tip policy, at that), I make more on average per hour worked than I do at my 8-5. Obviously it's a small sample size, because I don't work full time, so I can't speak to getting caught out with the really slow shifts, etc, but it seemed like there was a way to bridge to something 'better' there.

[fuzzalow]

Congratulations. Being a dad for multiple times is cool while also being a huge weight & responsibility to carry for the both of you. Being a parent and a husband forces you to do things that places them before you which imposes limits on your career options. I say this not to discourage or dissuade you but the remind you that to do well in anything you do decide to do you must be brutally honest with yourself about yourself and what you are up against in whatever competitive landscape you choose to redirect or enter into.

I gotta be honest and this comment is not directed at you: I am astounded by how many people on this forum want quality of life and put their careers on a lower priority. I don't get why anyone with the capacity to run at 100% would choose not to do that in their work life - do you really think you can earn a good life for you & your family by taking it easy through life? And yes, I get that career options are different for everybody but part of the challenge is identifying the upside and building towards that.

You need money. You've got multiple college expenses and you own retirement to save for at the very least. You may want a home, or already own one which is a large financial commitment into essentially a non-performing asset because you need a place to live. If you are young, time is still your friend as far as investments. You get nowhere without money. You need money.

Good luck. I have young adults of my own starting careers. I know how difficult it can be to get started.

[eddief]

but you might be pleasantly surprised at the value of working with a good career counselor. having an expert cheerleader, braninstormer, assessor, and pusher on your side can make a transition go a lot smoother.

[AngryScientist]

Originally Posted by fuzzalow

I gotta be honest and this comment is not directed at you: I am astounded by how many people on this forum want quality of life and put their careers on a lower priority.

priorities. yours are obviously significantly different than others on the forum.

you're a money guy, and yes - money IS colossally important in determining quality of life, but money without health and happiness is nothing.

IMO, there has to be balance in life. spending the mid part of your life focusing on career advancement, at the expense of family and the pursuit of happiness is not in everyone's best interest, period.

[AngryScientist]

Originally Posted by Nooch

better culture (I get to wear shorts to work, which is something...)

by the way, and this is the brutally honest advice bit, said with the best intentions.

start thinking BIG PICTURE. getting to wear shorts to work in the NYC area as a professional is not something i would ever consider.

think long term, sustainable solutions now, you're not getting any younger.

lots of young people realize that working as a bartender at a busy, hip establishment will make you more money than a 9-5 mid level desk job any day, and hey - working at a strip club for tips pulls down a ton of cash money, but all these jobs have an expiration date, and working late hours on your feet for hours, dealing with customers WILL get old, as well as doing the same damn thing day in and day out.

you should find something soon that may not pay the very best right now, but will build opportunities to grow into something more lucrative with less demands. think career, not job.

just some thoughts.

[cmg]

"quality of life and put their careers on a lower priority."

did the 60 hours a week for higher salary a long time ago. Now 40 hour a week max., it's enough. even if the funds are lower. Keeps your sanity, you get to watch and know your kids as they grow up, their time will fly. Don't get largest, fastest, biggest, newest anything if requires more than 40. You can't buy memories, no one gets to the end and wishes they had worked more.