Another vote for the Musson book, it is an excellent resource.
I feel like some people make wheelbuilding out to be some dark art, and there are so many myths. It is not that hard to build a wheel set that will last for years if you take your time and use quality parts.
Adding to the tool list:
- the EVT multifinder is a nice tool and I like it better than a nipple driver when lacing the wheel, there is enough friction on the to turn the nipple onto the threads
- get a twist resist tool if you plan to build with 2.0/1.5/2.0 spokes or thinner (like a DT Revolution of Sapim Laser) to combat spoke wind up
Other tips from my personal experience:
- have never needed to use any sort of thread locker/fancy spoke prep product, other than linseed oil on threads, and Phil's tenacious on eyelets/nipple seat
- measure ERD yourself when you can, especially with the nipples you plan to use, especially if building with double square nipples
- alloy nipples get a bad rep; I avoid them for wheel sets that are going to see a ton of abuse and road salt, but for a performance bike they are great if you buy high quality ones (ex: Sapim 7075 nipples, not eBay junk)
- use a dish tool, not the calipers on your truing stand
- tension meter is handy, but its easy to go crazy and try to overthink it trying to chase perfection
- don't get distracted, see whatever task through that you are doing so you don't loose track of where you left off